The Imperial Palace (The Emperor) | The Rest of the Imperium (The Bro Trip Crusade) | The Forces of Chaos | The Eldar
The Aeldari/Eldar
Every spoiler up to episode 25 (the last episode before the podcasts and spinoffs start) is left unmarked.Click here to return to the main character page. open/close all folders
Gods of the Eldar
Three Eldar gods survived the birth of Slaanesh: Isha, the goddess of healing; Cegorach, the Laughing God; and Khaine, the god of war, who has been shattered into countless shards of essence (though that doesn't stop him from using Spacebook and being Khorne's gym buddy). Thus far, all three seem to be considerably more level-headed than the rest of the galaxy. General
- Friendly Enemy: Strictly speaking, the Eldar gods are the enemies of Chaos. Isha still has a happy relationship with Nurgle, and Khaine and Khorne are gym buddies.
- Grumpy Old Man: Khaine is the oldest god still in existence, and has little patience with the antics of those Chaos whippersnappers.
- Intergenerational Friendship: Sort of with Khaine and Khorne. Khaine is a much older god than Khorne, but they have an amicable relationship, with Khorne being respectful of him (as a berserker War God like him can allow) and okay with accompanying him during "leg day".
- Mind Hive: Presumably Khaine survived in a state similar to the Emperor's, with one central ego and a plethora of lesser soul shards.
- Nice Girl: Isha is sensitive, considerate, and all around pleasant to everyone but Slaanesh. She certainly has her reasons.
Cegorach, the Laughing God
- Voiced by: Failsnake
The Eldar Laughing God, Cegorach is the guardian of the Black Library, and will only let you in if he sees fit or you somehow amuse him. Make no mistake, this god is no laughing matter, and will deny you entry if he sees you as a galactic threat to the universe.
- Actually Pretty Funny: When he meets Magnus, the latter threatens him and his Harlequins, and when he asks if Magnus can be his ghost writer, Magnus replies with "No... but I can turn YOU into a ghost". He comments that it was pretty good.
- Berserk Button: Unless you're
Ephrael Stern levels of strong, don't badmouth Cegorach's Harlequins. He's already bad news even in a good mood, and he will plot your demise if you so much as take a dig at them or their material. - The Chessmaster: His plan hinges on Magnus attending the birth of Ynnead, the Eldar God of Death. Ynnead is canonically on the side of the good guys (in canon, he resurrects Guilliman after his life support was turned off), and his birth would mean killing Slaanesh.
- Creepy Good: Cegorach is without question one of the most terrifying beings shown in the entirety of the series, with attitudes ranging from nightmarishly humorous (his default mood) to utterly menacing. That being said, all of his malicious actions have been directed to Asshole Victims like the C'Tan, Ahriman, and dangerous Space Marine chapters, all of whom could cause unspeakable damage on a planetary if not galactic scale if left unchecked. While he does toy around with Custodisi and Whammudes for shits and giggles, he doesn't do anything to actually harm them and even lets them into the Black Library (though it's ambiguous whether he mistook them for Solitaries or if he actually knew who they were from the beginning and simply let them in cause they were Custodes like Kitten). He also decides to cancel his comedy duel with Magnus as he was literally killing himself with Heroic Self-Deprecation, and Cegorach decides to end it as a draw. And to cast any doubt that this Monster Clown god is against the protagonists, he sends Malys to rescue Star Child and his comrades from Asdrubael Vect.
- Deal with the Devil: Subverted. He has Custodisi to sign a contract to resume his and Magnus' comedy duel at a later time, since he doesn't consider it competition if Magnus literally kills himself with Heroic Self-Deprecation. He even decides to have Magnus to be the one to make sure Ynnead is born to kill the Chaos gods so Magnus is allowed access to the Black Library.
- Establishing Character Moment: When you see this guy, you know he's someone not to fuck with. Ahriman finds out the hard way that Cegorach was not only messing with him, he was toying with him, and defeats him and his Rubrics, and banishes them from the Black Library.
- Everyone Has Standards: While he sees Heroic Self-Deprecation as a form of comedy, it can literally kill someone if they overdo it, hence declaring his comedy duel with Magnus as a draw.
- Floating Limbs: Is fully capable of detaching his gloved hands if he feels it.
- French Jerk: Cegorach has a notably thick French accent due to his voice actor Failsnake being French. He's also a massive Troll who enjoys either antagonizing or messing with anyone who comes to the Black Library. He also collaborated with The Deceiver to bait its fellow C'tan into warring among themselves and almost driving themselves to total extinction, seemingly for giggles.
- Horrifying Hero: He is the closest thing to a good guy in this universe who isn't out to destroy humanity or see them as inferior species like the Eldar do, but to destroy the Chaos Gods (especially Slaanesh), and has defeated galactic threats and literally treats them like a joke. His appearance and personality on the other hand...
- It's Personal: He seems to have it out for Slaanesh, and it's easy to see why. Slaanesh was "murder-fucked" into existence by the Eldar, and is responsible for the deaths of other Eldar gods aside Khaine and Isha. He also has a notable growl by mentioning Slaanesh's name.
- Laugh Track: Played for creepiness. Whenever he tells a joke, it's often audible while Whammudes and Custodisi lampshades the fact that they can hear it.
- Leitmotif: Cegorach has Prime Clown
, a whimsically menacing accordion tune that manages to override the Intro theme (before ending with a Seinfeld Shout-Out). - Monster Clown: Cegorach, with his odd mismatched clothes and eternal Slasher Smile. Most of his malicious actions have been directed to Asshole Victims such as Ahriman and the C'Tan, who kinda deserved what was coming to them, but he's also used his appearance and creepiness to terrify Whammudes and Custodisi as well. Although arguably Whammudes and Custodisi are also Asshole Victims based on how they treat Kitten.
- He's not merely the god of the trickery and humor, but the Eldar's god of humor. Considering that the Eldar squicked Slaanesh into existence, it's pretty terrifying to think about what they consider is "funny", but it makes sense since Ahriman and C'Tan are galactic-scale threats and Custodes are Jerk Jocks at worst.
- Pet the Dog: Despite looking like something that would give your sister nightmares (or a Stephen King book), Cegorach is surprisingly a fair god that decides to save Magnus from killing himself with his Self-Deprecation jokes. Even before then, he allowed entry for Custodisi and Whammudes to enter the Black Library despite trolling the hell out of them, and is heavily implied to have Kitten allowed entry. Which is actually amazing when you consider the fact that the Eldar considers humans as inferior species. This heavily contrasts Tzeentch who manipulated Magnus into selling his soul to him in order to warn his father, but ended up destroying his Webway project (and he still has deep regrets about that).
- Scary Librarian: Cegorach protects the Black Library of the Eldar, but he will allow certain individuals in. Ahriman eventually found this out the hard way when he doesn't allow Ahriman in.
- Shout-Out: Cegorach has the same laugh Tim Curry's Pennywise in It (1990),
- So Unfunny, It's Funny: Cegorach's jokes (repeatedly hitting himself with a toy hammer, screeching something incomprehensible with a distorted voice and face, imitating the beginning of Skyrim), objectively speaking, can hardly be called jokes at all, many lacking any comedy substantial enough to be considered such by Magnus. The Harlequins find them hilarious and Custodisi can't help but snicker.
- Time Abyss: He's even older than humanity before they evolved, and was around the time the C'Tan was gaining their sentience and began killing the Old Ones.
- Troll: Cegorach is the apotheosis of trolldom. He plays Ahriman like a damn fiddle, and played a part in convincing the C'tan to start eating each other, for kicks as much as strategy. He also menaces Custodisi and Whammudes for absolutely no reason other than it amused him given he was going to let them into the Black Library anyway.
- Vaudeville Hook: Fitting for his theatrical antics, Cegorach has one to prevent Magnus from continuing his Self-Deprecation (thus saving his life) by pulling him offstage.
The Craftworld Eldar/Asuryani
Eldrad Ulthran
Eldrad Ulthran, Chief Farseer of Craftworld Ulthwé
This really is not the time for tomfoolery, though. The Despoiler gathers his forces in the Eye... The children of man stir and breathe anew, eons of corrosion shuffled off... And so, with this new era approaching it is time to make our final preparations.
The most powerful of Farseers among the Eldar, and a de facto leader of their race fond of subtle manipulations to twist the threads of fate in his favor (and against anyone else) as well as the occasional bout of dickishness.
- Aesop Amnesia: In their Stellaris game, he fails to properly prepare for the end times by sinking most of his resources into pleasure domes. The sort of thing that doomed his species the last time around.
- Brutal Honesty: Even when he's not being mystic and being utterly blunt and truthful, he can be a bit of a dick.Sylandri Veilwalker: Sure thing, Farseer. Let's just hope Cypher isn't a big, bewildering bag of hooded dicks about it.Eldrad: *nonchalantly* I am sure he will be.
- Crying Wolf: Part of why Vect tells him to shove off is that his whole "Our race is doomed" topic is worn as hell; the Aeldari have been doomed for over ten thousand years already, and he's come up with several "stop this or we die" prophecies and visions during that time, and Eldrad just cannot get across that this time it's worse than ever.
- Leitmotif: Eldrad's Theme - The Pathfinder
- Large Ham: Roleplays a flamboyant parody of his own people in Space Game Pain, loudly introducing himself as "Eldad, Long Wizard of the Space Elfs". His abrupt appearance and first words cause Kitten's composure to break with shocked giggling, before the Custodian eventually blocks him for ruining the immersion with his overacting.Eldad: HEAR MY WORDS, FEE-LOIN!!
- The Gadfly: While not nearly as dickish as Vect, since he knows when to drop the act, he's fond of acting utterly mystical and unapproachable to his own people while drowning them in Ice Cream Koans and then laughing at their gullibleness, not to mention the things he sets up with his visions of the future when things aren't so dire.
Dark Eldar/Drukhari
The vile, sadistic, hedonistic breed of Eldar that festers in the subspace cesspit of Commorragh. For millenia they have survived by feeding off of the suffering of others. They are also complete jerks. General
- Brown Note: Exploited and Invoked. Their geometry, their music, their culture, and their very minds are deliberately mind-breaking to many, as they revel in the act of mind-breaking.
- To them, the very mention of Slaanesh will literally turn them to ash.
- Emotion Eater: They expand their lifespans by devouring fear, pain, agony, misery, and suffering. The Star Child uses this to his advantage when his overwhelming positive energy literally poisons them.
- Evil Is Petty: Apart from being villainous, sadistic, fiendish creatures that feed off of suffering and torture, they're also arrogant jerks.
- Planet of Hats: An entire star system's worth of vile piratic elven sadists.
- Screw You, Elves!: Many jokes are made at their expense, and many other characters insult and sometimes kill some unlucky Drukhari mooks. Not that they completely don't deserve this.
- Straw Nihilist: As Vect mentions, deep down the Drukhari have given up on life, and simply want to enjoy what pleasure they can on their one-way trip to oblivion.
- Wretched Hive: Commorragh, a great massive city-state that houses millions of Dark Eldar.
Asdrubael Vect
Asdrubael Vect, Supreme Overlord of The Dark City
- Voiced by: Randolph CarterWhat!? Oh. One moment, sorry Eldrad, I was not talking to you, I'm-I'm at a thing right now. We're in the middle of pin the tail on the mon-keigh!
Primary holder of political power among the Drukhari, aka the Dark Eldar. Is a dick worse than Eldrad.
- Body Horror: It really doesn't look pleasant when he is corroding away under the smothering influence of the Star Child. He gets better though.
- Born into Slavery: During his chat with the Star-Fyodperor, he claims that he was a slave at the fall of the Aeldari Empire and only survived being sacrificed due to Slaanesh's birth happening at the exact right time.
- Cain and Abel: The Cain to Eldrad's Abel, but given who he is, there's no indication whether they're actually brothers or trolling.
- Card-Carrying Villain: He technically needs pain and suffering to live, but like all Dark Eldar he takes incredible glee in doing it and doesn't care about what his kin thinks.
- Cheshire Cat Grin: Fittingly, Vect is drawn wearing a rather devious smile at all times. It softens to a peaceful smile while under the Star Child's influence.
- Enemy Mine: Subverted. Eldrad tries to get him to work for survival of the Eldar, but Vect doesn't care to work with Eldrad, gleefully noting that his foreign policy is to ignore the Eldar.
- Evil Laugh: He's got a good one, that often slips out during his conversation with Eldrad. Can develop into a loud coughing fit if he does it too hard.
- Faux Affably Evil: Even more so than Lucius, since he isn't even making Terms of Endangerment, he's holding a polite conversation while engaged in normal Dark Eldar politics. he also speaks to the Star Child in affable terms even while plotting to have him tortured to feed all of Commorragh.
- Getting Smilies Painted on Your Soul: To his credit, he resists the Star Child's overwhelming aura of kindness and joy pretty well. Keyword being "resists" - he still has to fight against it, leading to hilariously out-of-character lines like telling Urien Rakarth he "did his best :)" followed with him immediately swapping back to the appropriately Drukhari "no, you have failed me!" through sheer force of will.
- Good Feels Good: Vect describes that this wave of positive emotion is making him truly happy and content with his life, while it is slowly killing him.Despite the all-consuming pain, I have never been better.
- Good Hurts Evil: The Star-Child's Incorruptible Pure Pureness causes Vect considerable pain and makes him vomit blood, and eventually he begins to melt into bloody bones. This is apparently common to all Dark Eldar, as the city's population quickly starts dying off once the Star Child's aura leaks out of Vect's fortress.
- The Hedonist: He's a Drukhari, it's part of the package. Most notably he spends just about all of his screen time to date lazing back while having his servant pour wine into his mouth for him since he can't be assed to get up and do it himself.
- I'm Melting!: Prolonged exposure to the Star Child's soul causes Vect and the rest of Commorragh's Dark Eldar population to visibly melt and decay, even as they're overwhelmed by happiness and goodwill. By the end, Vect is reduced to gore-covered bones slumped in his throne, barely able to move. However, when Vect finally figures out how to genuinely torment the Star Child by playing on his compassion, feeding on a god's suffering instantly returns him to perfect health.
- O.O.C. Is Serious Business: The only time his polite facade fades is when Eldrad talks about Ynnead.Vect: ...you blithering codger. You actually mean to tell me that old fairy tale has got you all up in arms AGAIN!? Another drink. Now, please.
- He also shifts to shocked anger and confusion when the Star Child states that his plan to hold off Slaanesh by torturing his soul is actually benevolent.
- Redemption Rejection: Of a sort. As he was dying from the sensation of genuine affection and friendship emanating from the Star Child, he seemed as if he was actually comfortable and truly happy, perhaps for the first time in millennia. However, he eventually finds out that he can take advantage of the Star Child's weakness: exploiting his compassion by revealing that his comrades are facing certain doom. The resulting emanations of the Star Child's inner pain revives Vect instantly.
- Spikes of Villainy: He wears the typical high fashion of Commorragh, which may well be the spikiest place in the Webway. As highlighted by Eldrad:Eldrad: Listen, Vect. Listen. I hate you. I hate you, and your stupid spiky city, and your stupid spiky hat so much.
- That Makes Me Feel Angry: Due to the fact that his Faux Affably Evil nature is combined with being high off of the best Dark Eldar drugs imaginable, the only indication that he is absolutely livid with Eldrad is when he has to tell the Farseer how angry he is. Even then, it's coming through in cheery, drug-addled tones because Vect is just that high.
- Troll: More so than Eldrad, who knows when to get serious. Vect just trolls and trolls.
- Villainous Breakdown: He slowly mentally and physically disintegrates as all his efforts to intimidate the Star Child fail. He regains his composure after he finally makes Fyodor give into despair by revealing all his companions have been sent to die in the arena.
- What Is This Feeling?: The Star Child's genuine insinuations that Vect might have a bit of altruistic good in him is so shocking and confusing that it causes Vect physical pain.
Lady Malys
Lady Aurelia Malys, Archon of the Kabal of the Poisoned Tongue
- Voiced by: NaerinaVect is clearly planning something tonight, and I am not one to let his plans go unhindered.
One of the most successful Archons of the Drukhari and a rival to Asdrubael Vect.
- Berserk Button: Does not appreciate any references to her past relationship with Vect.
- Combat Hand Fan: Carries a razor-edged steel fan in her left hand.
- Cool Mask: Wears an ornate mask on the left side of her face.
- Drama Queen: Is given to histrionics on hearing of a possible Daemon invasion.
- Even Evil Has Standards: As cruel as she is, even she thinks that breaking open Khaine's Gate to let in a horde of daemons just to attack political rivals (something which she mistakenly thinks Vect is responsible for) is a terrible idea.
- French Jerk: Speaks in a thick French accent, complete with "hon hon hon" laughter. She's also in cahoots with another French Jerk, Cegorach.
- Lady of War: She decides to lead the Kabal (i.e. her army of warriors) personally after realizing that Asdrubel Vect is up to no good.
- The Mole: She's Cegorach's patsy among the Dark Eldar, carrying out his will in opposition to Vect.
- Nightmare Face: When Cegorach's influence makes itself known she gains a horrifying Slasher Smile and the eyepiece of her mask turns into an actual eye.
- Spikes of Villainy: Her corset and the puffy shoulders of her dress are spiky.
- The Starscream: She's plotting against Vect behind his back with Cegorach.
- Villainous Rescue: Episode 30 starts with her and her entourage on her way to rescue Russ and the rest of the Bearded Triumvirate so that the Star Child can finish off Vect.
Tahril
Tahril, Former Archon of the Kabal of the Black Heart
- Voiced by: ThunderPsykerAt once, my most frightening - and highly replaceable - lady...
An ex-Archon of Asdrubael Vect's Kabal, and currently an underling to Lady Malys.
- Cool Helmet: An enormous conical open-faced helm topped with bladed horns and a screaming head.
- The Dragon: Serves as one to Lady Malys, though judging from his comments he's only doing so because he's being punished for botching the Kaurava Campaign and he's not happy about it. In truth, he is this to The Deceiver as the only (known) agent carrying out The Deceiver's plans.
- Evil Sounds Raspy: He speaks in a low, raspy voice.
- The Mole: Just like Malys serves Cegorach, Tahril is Mephet'ran the Deceiver's catspaw.
- Red Oni, Blue Oni: He is the Blue Oni to Lady Malys's Red Oni, being more calm and reserved.
- Spared by the Adaptation: He canonically got his ass beat by Gorgutz in the Kaurava Campaign, though in this canon he survived and was Demoted to Dragon, presumably as a punishment for such an enormous military failure and his ambitions of overthrowing Vect.
- The Starscream: Is apparently still one of these, judging by his under-his-breath comment about how easily replaceable Lady Malys is.
- Shoulders of Doom: His pauldrons make him twice as broad as he is normally.
Urien Rakarth
Urien Rakarth, Master Haemonculus of the Prophets of Flesh
- Voiced by: Fresh
A master Haemonculus and undoubtedly one of the most vile individuals of the Drukhari, if not the 42nd Millenium.
- Beige Prose: He explains the plan to torture the Star-Child by... bluntly saying they will torture him. Vect forces him to go into more detail.
- Card-Carrying Villain: His reaction to the problem of the Dark Eldar torturing the other races for millennia is, essentially, "what problem?" and he seems outright offended when he and Vect realize their plan would render the Dark Eldar's torturous ways unnecessary.Star Child: "Besides that, none of you would have to kill and torture anymore! I mean, you'd have no real reason to even put down the effort!"Vect: (awkward laugh) "That's uh-"Rakarth: "Shut the fuck up."Vect: "-a bit hasty..."
- Evil Cannot Comprehend Good: Quite literally, he's only able to describe the Star Child's aura as "some kind of anti-negative energy".
- Evil Genius: He's no doubt one of the smartest of the Dark Eldar, and his field of expertise is...shall we say, less than savory.
- Hate Sink: His appearance alone invokes disgust in everyone witnessing and is "a contender for worst living creature ever conceived" in a setting with A LOT of steep competition. He has all of Vect's cruelty and sadism without his charm, style, or slightly mitigating backstory with Urien's entertainment value stemming from highlighting Vect's entertaining traits.
- Major Injury Underreaction: Takes one of his arms falling off from the Star Child's influence remarkably well.
- Science Is Bad: He shows this side of science very well, using a Casket of Flensing, which is meant to remove victims' skin, and a Necromantic Depravator that could rapidly warp the Star Child between Commoragh and a pocket dimension filled with Null flesh, which would suppress his powers.
- Torture Technician: It's his entire role and he displays a little too much glee in it.
