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Main Characters
Bjørn Hammerparty
"Hey peeps, what's going on?"
"I gotta admit, things escalated a little bit, but I've been through too much to just give up and go back with you!"
Voiced by: Michael Robles
The protagonist. A 14-year-old pacifist viking who hates battling and the idea of going to Valhalla. He was sent to Valhalla on a technicality due to accidentally killing a bear by falling on it, then resurrected a thousand years later by Pesto to translate Norse code for her. On the way to Helheim he finds that he can detach his body parts, and uses this to his advantage to get through the journey.
- Actual Pacifist: The number of times he's hurt anyone can be counted on one hand, and all of them were either an accident or last resort, with him being extremely reluctant to go through with it.
- All-Loving Hero: He goes out of his way to assist and encourage others, and is the only character out of the cast to go see if someone's doing okay. He refuses to hurt anyone, and if for some reason he has to he always makes sure to apologize and make amends with them later. And who can forget him putting his body back together before moving on so whoever finds it won't be traumatized by the brutal injuries?
- Badass Pacifist: And how! He goes through hell and back for his place in Helheim, all without (at least not intentionally or willingly) hurting anyone. This is especially showcased in the fights with Pesto and Anthony—throughout Pesto's fight he only stands there and reasons with her as she fires her plague balls at him, and as Anthony tries killing him over and over again he decides to calm him with music.
- Came Back Wrong: Thanks to Pesto's amateur resurrection skills, his body keeps falling apart. He figures out how to utilize this.
- Cursed with Awesome: Having ones' limbs falling off constantly can be quite the, well, hassle. But it certainly comes in handy for when Bjørn needs to reach areas he couldn't otherwise.
"I guess she did give me superpowers."
- The Cutie: With how sweet and kind he is to everyone, how can he not be?
- Deadpan Snarker: Nowhere near as much as Pesto, but he has his moments.
"The giants are throwing boulders now?"
- Detachment Combat: Well, not really combat per se, but he can use his detaching of limbs to solve puzzles, get to places he wouldn't be able to otherwise, multitask and the like.
- Friend to All Living Things: Bjørn can pet nearly every animal in the game, which is made easier if he obtains the Smoothie of Sidekicks. If he has all encounters with the Wise Moose before the final part of the game, all of the animals will show up and assist with the puzzles. The wolf Fenris can also come and keep Odin at bay if Bjørn frees her before the last part of the game.
- Hell of a Heaven: Going to Valhalla and battling forever is what every viking wants... except for Bjørn, who hates battling and would much prefer to spend eternity in the quiet, peaceful Helheim. Guess which one he's sent to upon his death?
- Human Snowball: Can roll his head up into a snowball as something for his body to stand on and, in one instance, protection from helicopter propellers.
- Losing Your Head: The first body part to fall off when Pesto throws her soda at him.
"Great...so I'm just a head then!"
- Online Alias: "Ihatethisplace_2", also the only name Odin knows him as, not even recognizing his real name.
- Pulling Themselves Together: Can detach and reattach body parts after being revived.
- Pungeon Master: He distracts Fafnir with a series of dragon puns in order to get through his insides, and Fafnir apparently enjoyed them so much that he stole them and used them for his performance in The Laughter Gland. He also comments that he's "armed and ahead" after getting his arm and head back in Riverrum.
- Really 700 Years Old: He's technically over a thousand years old, but he still has the body of a fourteen-year-old.
- Red Oni, Blue Oni: The blue to Pesto's red.
- Redhead In Green: Not normally, but he pulls off the look with his elf costume in the Holiday Hustle event.
- Resurrective Immortality: He can get hit by lasers, shotguns and Pesto's plague balls, and he always regenerates afterward.
- The So-Called Coward: He frequently skips battles and refuses to engage in combat, leading to him being called a "wimp" by Modgunn and a "back-alley low-budget viking" by Robginald, and he even explains that he "cowardly fell to [his] death"—though it is worth noting that no one in his community has given him grief over it, even when he stopped hiding it from them in Helheim. In reality he is not the least bit cowardly, never turning away from dangerous situations but instead opting to handle them in ways that don't involve any bloodshed.
"I'm not scared! I just don't like violence!"
- Survival Mantra: "No more bull, no more bull, no more bull..."
- Too Good for This Sinful Earth: Played with. He's a pacifist viking who gets along with almost everyone and goes out of his way to help others, and then ends up falling to his death at the age of fourteen. He then gets resurrected 1,000 years later, though he's still technically dead.
- You Are Better Than You Think You Are: "Don't be so hard on yourself, Pesto! I'm sure you can make a plague that kills a billion people someday!"
- You Can't Kill What's Already Dead: His body parts regenerate after being crushed or disintegrated, in the same formation they were in beforehand. This trope is confirmed outright by the fight with Pesto, as Bjørn keeps reappearing no matter how many plague balls she blasts at him.
Pesto / Pestilence
"I ain't saying I got an idea...but I do."
"Why the home do ya wanna stay in Viking Hell? Wait, don't tell me. It's 'cause Viking Heaven sucks, isn't it?"
Voiced by: Lynda Kluck
The deuteragonist. One of the horsemen of the apocalypse, sent to Helheim by Satan to pick up his new sword—much to her annoyance. She resurrects Bjørn so he can translate Norse code for her, and later makes a deal to help him stay in Helheim in exchange for him solving the puzzles for her.
- Accidental Misnaming: She can't seem to get the hang of pronouncing Norse words, and as such she butchers peoples' names quite often. The most notable example is her calling Bjørn "Bjoharn", but she's also called Balder "Bawalder", Huldra "Wuldra", and Odin "Odeen".
- Because You Were Nice to Me: In her boss fight, if Bjørn bought her coffee back at the café...
"You're a good guy, Bjoharn. I'll make your death quick."
- Claustrophobia: Apparently doesn't handle narrow spaces very well. She may have just said that to make Bjørn do all the work.
- Cut His Heart Out with a Spoon: Her threats towards Fafnir when the latter eats Bjørn's leg.
"I'll give you a disease so hardcore, you'll have to consult a mathematician every time you have to use the bathroom! I'll make all your teeth fall out and then grow back on the inside of your eyeballs! How d'ya like that?! I'll call it the Frog Flu!" [gags] "Oh gosh darn it, now I've made myself nauseous...thanks a lot!"
- Deadpan Snarker: Oh, yes.
- Female Rockers Play Bass: She's quite skilled at it, too. It comes in handy for different sidequests throughout the game where she plays for stone people, a group of dragon kids, Egil Battlebay and a music store in Helheim. It's also the one thing she's actually compliant about, being more than willing to show off her talent.
- Fish out of Water: A resident of regular Hell who is clearly not used to the climate on the road to Helheim, although she does eventually adjust.
"Bjoharn, my natural habitat is 100 degrees with a hint of sulfur in the air. I don't 'belawng' here."
- Horsemen of the Apocalypse: Pestilence, or Pesto for short.
- I'll Kill You!: She throws this threat around quite a bit.
- Jerk with a Heart of Gold: She is extremely blunt and can be angered quite easily, but she stands up for Bjørn when Hel won't let him into Helheim and encourages him not to give up when Helga is sent to Bear Hell and his only option left is to face Odin.
- Knight in Sour Armor: For all her constant complaining about the situation, it doesn't stop her from listening to Bjørn's reasoning and going through with the adventure.
- Leitmotif: "Gosh Darn Pesto". She is mostly associated with a bass, most likely due to her playing the instrument. "This Adventure Is Cancelled" could also count, serving as something of a Dark Reprise of her theme during her fight with Bjørn.
- New Powers as the Plot Demands: She's first revealed to be able to blast plague balls during her fight with Bjørn. Then, during the avalanche scene, she teleports everyone out once Bjørn is whole again. And then, during her fight with Famine it's revealed that she can apparently fly. Bjørn even lampshades this in his quest log.
"I think she's making this up as she goes along!"
- Rage Breaking Point: She was already pretty angry before, but finding out about Odin rampaging through regular Hell makes her finally snap and try to kill Bjørn to send him back to Valhalla.
"First you throw me in with goblins, bears and frogs...then your psycho god starts wrecking my home...and now...you're making me do...THIS! DIE, BJOHARN!"
- Red Oni, Blue Oni: The red to Bjørn's blue.
- Tomboyish Voice: She's a short-tempered horseman who is constantly snarky and suggests violence first whenever running into a problem, and she has a raspier voice than most of the female characters.
- You Are Better Than You Think You Are: When Bjørn is about ready to give up as it seems like battling Odin is his only option left...
"Bjoharn, snap out of it, you stupid idiot. 'Ooh, my name is Bjoharn! I don't battle stuff!' You have battled dragons, zombies, insane bear people, and more clunky goblin tech than I know what to do with!"
Helheim Residents
Balder and Ramsey
"Welcome welcome welcome, you mighty rock-n-rollers!" "Aww yeah!"note Click here to see him after Famine's torture
"I can't just take you to Helheim, mighty rock-n-roller! That's the beauty of this place! You've got to solve puzzles and get there all by yourself!"
Voiced by: Dave Hines (Balder) and Ozan Drøsdal (Ramsey)
After staying in Helheim for so long after he was killed and coming to terms with the idea that no one was coming to rescue him, Balder the Beautiful decided to renovate the afterlife to make it less of a drag for its residents. He is often found working out and performing rock music with his friend Ramsey, a goblin who he decided to have tag along with him after noticing he wasn't good at his job.
- Barbarian Longhair: He has an impressive display of muscles and even more impressive long, flowing hair.
- Break the Cutie: He seems to be very happy-go-lucky until Famine makes him malnourished and forces him to eat Ramsey in order to take him to Helheim.
- Forgetful Jones: If you read the letters from Balder collected on the road to Helheim, you will notice that this is a running theme with him. He also seems to have lost track of how long he's been in Helheim, and keeps going back to thinking it's been twelve years. And when Odin finds out he's been in Helheim all this time and asks how he ended up there, he admits that he doesn't remember. It's worth noting, however, that while he may forget about things that have happened, he seems to remember people well enough, as evident with Hel, Ramsey and Bjørn.
- Hair of Gold, Heart of Gold: He has blond hair and is a very friendly guy.
- "I Am" Song: "Hey, rock-n-roller! My name is Balder! I've got the touch to make Helheim gold!"
- Morality Pet: To Hel, who agrees to help Bjørn for Balder's sake and presumably gives Famine the beating of a lifetime when she finds out what he did to him.
- Nothing but Skin and Bones: After Famine is done with him.
Andre
"My name is Andre, by the way. I will be your friend forever!"
"There's no use, little dude! I can't drag this huge weight, no matter how much you encourage me! I need my blueberry smoothie to be able to do it...but that douchey bird up there stole it! He says depending on smoothies isn't proper training technique."
Voiced by: Erik Braa
A troll who Bjørn first meets working out at Balder's gym. He had his smoothie stolen from him by Vedfolnir, and Bjørn can either choose to steal it back or pass on training tips to him in order to move the weights out of the way. Following him out to comfort him afterwards will lead him to declare himself as your friend forever.
- Does Not Know His Own Strength: He shakes hands with Bjørn rather vigorously after the latter helps him out, leading to him accidentally ripping off his arms.
- Gentle Giant: A large troll who is strong enough to accidentally rip someone's arms off during a handshake. However he never hurts anyone on purpose and is a very helpful friend to Bjørn, giving him directions to the Smoothie Shack and signing his petition to get into Helheim.
- My God, What Have I Done?: He's extremely distraught after ripping off Bjørn's arms, and can be found crying in the woods if followed, thinking he doesn't "belawng" there because of how seemingly fragile everyone else is. Bjørn easily calms him down (if not weirding him out at the same time) by informing him about his condition.
Vedfolnir
"If you need training tips, I'm your guy!"
"You're gonna give it to Andre, aren't you? He can't rely on smoothies all the time! That isn't proper training technique!"
Voiced by: Keith Houston
A trainer at Balder's gym. Stole Andre's smoothie for him on account of him apparently relying on them too much. Will give Bjørn training tips to pass onto him as an alternative solution to stealing the smoothie back.
- Jerk with a Heart of Gold: Obviously, you can't just go up to someone and steal something they got and possibly paid for themselves. But he did have good intentions in mind, wanting Andre to find his strength on his own.
Erica Thundermuscles
"That was refreshing! Challenge me again anytime!"
"My name is Erica Thundermuscles! I have been looking for someone to battle out here for a thousand years! Pick your weapon!"
Voiced by: Cia Court
A woman seen waiting at the gates of Helheim near the beginning of the game, heading inside to rescue her brother who was killed while they were hunting. As it turns out he died from being trampled by a moose, which apparently counts as dying in battle and therefore he was sent to Valhalla, and when she learned of this Erica ended up dying of embarrassment. Now she spends her days in Helheim looking for an outlet for her competitive energy, and upon meeting Bjørn she first challenges him to a battle, and then to a race once he declines.
- Character Development: Downplayed. Once Bjørn defeats her in all three races, she goes to Helheim City and gets a job, declaring that she is finally gotten all the competition out of her system and it is time to move forward.
"I'll be Erica Thundermuscles, responsible adult!"
- Graceful Loser: She never has any problem acknowledging Bjørn's victory against her in any of their races.
Earl Earl
"We are not on a first-name basis yet! Please refer to me by my title...which is Earl." Click here to see him without his beard
"Oh, hey. Welcome to our thriving town of Riverrum. I am its earl. Also, my name is Earl. That makes me...Earl Earl. Don't forget to meet our zany residents before moving on to Helheim City."
Voiced by: Michael Orenstein
A dwarf who is considerably less skilled at blacksmithing than his peers who takes on a new job offer in Riverrum to start a new life. He misunderstood it as the town looking for someone named Earl, when in fact they were looking for an actual earl to look after Riverrum. He has a passion for model airplane building, as well as a strong kick.
- All of the Other Reindeer: Unlike his fellow dwarves, he has neither the skill nor passion for blacksmithing, and has been picked on quite a bit for it. He left for Riverrum to get away from it, only for the goblins living there to bully him too.
- Apathetic Clerk: He despises his job and his life in Riverrum.
- Berserk Button: Do NOT insult model airplane building if you don't want to be kicked to the top of a building.
- Conditioned to Accept Horror: Should a riot start in town, he will continue to sit dejectedly on the steps.
- Must Make Amends: Bjørn can apologize to him later by giving back his US-Zone Germany 8-inch tin wind-up model airplane as an Apology Gift, which Earl happily accepts.
- Would Hurt a Child: Well, only if said child insulted model airplane building.
Tristianel and Sebastianel
"Hot gosh darn, that is a remarkable idea, Tristianel!" "Indeed."note
"Oh hot gosh darn, we're so handsome and perfect, Tristianel!"
"Don't forget immortal and shiny, Sebastianel. So hot gosh darn immortal and shiny."
"So glossy and attractive!"
"So gosh darn!"
Voiced by: Brian Sommer (Tristianel) and Erik Braa (Sebastianel)
A pair of elves from Elfheim now residing in Riverrum to offer their services as body painters. They keep one of Bjørn's legs as a pet until Bjørn manages to steal it back.
- Beauty Is Best: They highly value looks and fashion, and judge others who do not meet their standards.
- Catchphrase: "Hot gosh darn!"
- Everything's Better with Sparkles: They are both very shiny.
- Jerkass: They insult Bjørn's appearance upon first meeting him, then call him rude if the player skips the scene and he asks them to stop.
Egil Battlebay
"I was kinda ready to ditch it forever and go home."
"I bravely fell in battle! A giant smashed me with a rock!"
Voiced by: Devin Glischinski
A viking from Bjørn's village, thought to have died from being smashed by a rock, but only died by tripping over himself and breaking his neck just before getting smashed by a rock. He's zapped to Helheim, and 1,000 years later he's found cowering in a cave until Bjørn finds him.
- Go Mad from the Isolation: He is not in a good state of mind when Bjørn finds him, unable to even remember him. Hearing their villages' old song "Hiking Viking" finally snaps him out of it.
Huldra
"Sooo, what brings'cha up here?"
"Just passing through, huh? Well, I'm not gonna letcha do that...without a nice conversation wit'cha first!"
Voiced by: Heather Masters
A lady with a rather large tail from Norse folklore. She has been living in a cave to avoid people and their remarks about said tail. Despite this, she still seems friendly towards passersby, as long as they are careful with their words.
- Berserk Button: Do not pay attention to her tail, even on accident. This includes saying the word with different context, using a word that could count as a synonym, or even saying something that rhymes with it.
- Beware the Nice Ones: Her demeanor is quite pleasant unless you make the wrong dialogue choice, resulting in her blocking your path throughout the cave with her tail from agitation.
- Fiery Redhead: She'll only get fiery if you piss her off, however.
- Nice Girl: All she wants is to have a chat with you. Afterwards she'll let you go.
- Significant Green-Eyed Redhead: Red hair and vivid green eyes, and the choices you make during your conversation with her determine the difficulty of getting through her cave.
- Trademark Favorite Food: She asks Bjørn to find her a fish, as she's craving the omega-3. She seems perfectly happy with the canned tuna he brings her.
Goblin Cobblin'
Dancent
Robginald
"No one else around here was honest with old Robginald."
"So I kinda forgot to account for anything bigger than a goblin when I designed this puzzle. Then again, I don't have blueprints or proper tools, so...it is what it is, I guess!"
Voiced by: Devlin Glischinski
A goblin working on the puzzles in the New Goblin Woods. He seems rather down on his luck, with little access to the materials he needs to build things and even less respect from his coworkers.
- Because You Were Nice to Me: If Bjørn tells him the puzzles need more work, Robginald will speak with him at the café after he is fired and give him the key to the Riverrum sewers to explore freely as thanks for being honest before leaving to pursue a career as a YouTuber.
- Butt-Monkey: His job in Goblin Cobblin' has not been going smoothly, at all. To begin with, the puzzles in New Goblin Woods are messy and unfinished due since he lacks the blueprints or tools needed to complete them. If Bjørn tells him the puzzles needed work, later on in Særhimnir Café he will elaborate on how awful working there has been, mostly due to coworkers isolating him.
- The Dog Bites Back: If Bjørn has told him the puzzles were great, he will snap later on when he gets fired. Unfortuntely, Bjørn is the one he snaps at.
- Misplaced Retribution: When he snaps in the sewers, it is worth noting that most of his anger is directed at the abuse he's received during his time working at Goblin Cobblin', and Bjørn telling him the puzzles were fine the way they are was just the straw that broke the camel's back. For all he knew, Bjørn could have just been saying that knowing that he didn't have anything good to work with and did his best with it, but he is too caught up in his bout of rage after being fired to really process that possibility.
- Would Hurt a Child: He will lure Bjørn into the sewers and try to kill him with the Behegob if he told him the puzzles were great earlier.
Henry
"How can I help you, a different horrible severed head?"
"Oh hey, horrible severed head. Are you back to haunt me about my mistakes in the past? Whisper ideas into my ear? I will never let you have my soul, horrible severed head!"
Voiced by: Drew Cain
Another goblin in the New Goblin Woods, found napping in one of the company's walking towers. Bjørn has to get him to move out of the way somehow in order to continue the road to Helheim.
- Dark and Troubled Past: Implied right off the bat the first time you meet him, with Bjørn apparently not being the first "horrible severed head" he's encountered. The incident was so bad that his wife ended up leaving him, and he depends on sleeping meds in order to sleep at night.
- Drowning My Sorrows: If Bjørn gives him the wrong code and blows up his walking tower, he will be found later on at the bar in Riverrum drinking mug after mug of goblin wine.
- Noodle Incident: Whatever it was that made him see Horrible Severed Head 1. According to Robginald, he ended up doing something to a guy's head, but it isn't further elaborated on.
- Single Tear: He sheds one later on if Bjørn speaks to him in Helheim and tells him not to let his past define him.
Abilope
"Yanking and yanking! I like yanking!"
"Fun, isn't it?! I had a lot of fun designing those buttons. I love buttons. And also doors!"
Voiced by: Jane Ubrien
A very enthusiastic goblin who created the puzzles in Shackstead. Hearing about Bjørn's condition inspired her to make some especially for him.
- Gadgeteer Genius:
- Genki Girl: Extremely so. It seems that nothing really gets her down. At least, not until after the end, and even that doesn't last very long.
- Wrench Wench: Although, she apparently only works with wrenches made of ice.
Mike Cobbles
"What the goblin hell is this?" Click here to see him after he gets beaten up
"This place better be industry standard by now, or gosh darn I am gonna fire people!"
Voiced by: Keith Houston
The CEO of Goblin Cobblin', whom Bjørn and Pesto run into in Rock Bottom Meadow. He ends up getting stranded there when his pilot deserts him.
- Mean Boss: He cares quite little about the well-being of his employees, only demanding that Bjørn get his pilot Digby coffee to defrost him so he can go back to the office quickly.
- Take This Job and Shove It: He decides he wants to resign after getting beaten by a mysterious winged entity.
- Trauma Conga Line: He hasn't been having a very good day. First he's stranded in the middle of nowhere by his helicopter pilot, then while he's in the Laughter Gland he gets beaten for information on his boss Mr. W, leaving him with a black eye and a torn-up coat. He then decides to resign as CEO of Goblin Cobblin' and lead Bjørn and Pesto to Polyester Valley, only to discover that everyone there has frozen to death. And THEN he gets caught in an avalanche, throws up from Pesto's teleportation, finds out that all the helicopters have gone missing, and is then left waiting outside of Huldra's cave for at least one level for a pilot to finally come and get him out of there!
- Wham Line: "Aren't the taxis around here self-driving?"
Stone People
Stonar and Stonine
Stonie
Stonopher
Stoneward
Stonabeth
Antagonists
Odin
"Don't mess with my souls...or do! AND DIIIIE!!!!"
"NOBLE WARRIOR! You—oh, you!—you just slew an entire bear...with your BEAR hands!"
Voiced by: Brian Sommer
The god in charge of Valhalla who is extremely possessive over his souls. Has a search party held and rampages through regular Hell when Bjørn goes missing.
- Accidental Misnaming: Puts Hugin and Munin through this constantly, with names like "Hugo and Mango", "Hans and Miguel", "Hamster and Monkey"...
- Jerk with a Heart of Gold: May be a stretch with him rampaging through regular Hell, mistreating Hugin and Munin and trying to force Bjørn to come back to an afterlife he doesn't want, but at the very least his inviting Balder to a hunting trip through Goblin Hell to rescue Ramsey is rather sweet.
- No Indoor Voice: None at all.
Famine
"I shall do it, Lord."
"I only board the wooden vessel of wheels to offer our Lord assistance. I will help him become the greatest skater in the realm!"
Voiced by: Paul Bellantoni
Another horseman of the apocalypse, who volunteers to go to Helheim to confront Pesto and see why Odin is attacking regular Hell. Labeled as "cringy" by nearly everyone.
- Horsemen of the Apocalypse: He is Famine, of course. He possesses the power to starve people and leave them malnourished, as well as apparently force them to eat their friends.
- Leitmotif: "He's So Cringy", a somber organ piece backed by electric guitar to drive home just how serious and ruthless he is about his mission.
- Sophisticated as Hell: With all of his formal-sounding speech, even he is not immune to saying the word "feces".
- Sycophantic Servant: He seems to do everything with his boss Satan in mind... much to said boss's annoyance.
- Would Hurt a Child: He begins using his powers to make Bjørn starve to death before Pesto blasts him away.
The Bear's Ghost (SPOILERS)
"A rock a'rockin' rockin' every day..."
For tropes regarding him, see Anthony's entry in Others. For tropes regarding who was believed to be him at first, see Bear Death's entry in Others.
Fafnir
Other
Milky
"Milky to Bat-Dung! Come in Bat-Dung!"
"Sigh. This better be gosh darn worth it."
Voiced by: Damian Marhefka
A mysterious individual first seen hiding in the woods as Bjørn and Pesto enter the gate to Helheim. His intent seems to be gathering footage of the horsemen of the apocalypse. Working with two other people going by the codenames "Bat-Dung" and "Red-Eye".
- Easter Egg: Well, kind of.
One of the creators says there are 100 potential scenes you can see him in, and he will show up very briefly somewhere random once per save created. The developers have challenged players to take a screenshot of him if seen and send it to them to earn the "I found Milky" achievement. - Freeze-Frame Bonus: Well, "blink and you'll miss him" would be more accurate, unless of course you're recording your playthrough and can pause on whatever frame he appears on later.
- Goggles Do Something Unusual: Not much detail is given, but it's made apparent by one of his teammates.
"You're wearing the goggles; you'll see crazy nonsense everywhere."
- Opaque Lenses: His eyes can't be made out at all, even when he takes the goggles off.
- Stalker without a Crush: He is seen to be following Pesto and Bjørn in the cutscenes and in one brief scene chosen at random during the game. It's implied that he's doing so for investigative purposes.
- What Happened to the Mouse?: We never get an answer on who he really is or what he's trying to do.
Anthony the Taxi Driver (SPOILERS)
"Don't wanna be miserable, Bear-Slayer!" Click here to see his true form as a bear
"Like Bear John Johnson used to say, it's important to have hope! Without it, every day is a drag."
Voiced by: Adam Harrington
A friendly taxi driver who offers his services to Bjørn and Pesto as a means for fast travel. He is actually the bear Bjørn accidentally fell down on and killed, and is secretly following him to get his revenge for the destruction of his cassette player.
- Bitch in Sheep's Clothing: He seems like a nice guy going out of his way to help Bjørn and Pesto on their journey. Then you spot him cutting the wires to one of the levers...
- Disproportionate Retribution: He has been tracking Bjørn down throughout the entire game to get him killed and sent back to Valhalla again, going to lengths such as paying Fafnir to kill him, setting off an avalanche, and sabotaging a lever supposed to open a gate. And he isn't even doing this because of Bjørn accidentally killing him—he's doing it because of his broken cassette player.
- Karma Houdini: After everything he had done over the course of the game, he's not even taken back to Bear Hell by the Bear Grim Reaper. Instead he is let go without even as much as an apology to the people he's wronged (intentional or not), and gets to travel back in time to start a metal band.
- Leitmotif: "Anthony the Taxi Driver", a serene acoustic peace to match his seemingly peaceful nature. It's actually a slowed-down version of "A Rock A' Rockin'", which hints at his true identity as the bear who was killed in the beginning.
- Stalker without a Crush: He follows Bjørn and Pesto throughout the game, and always seems to appear to them at very convenient times.
- Would Hurt a Child: His motivation is to kill Bjørn, a 14-year-old boy.
Helga Leathergrin
"Bjørn, Bjørn! What are you doing, dawg?!" Click here to see her as an adult
"Don't worry, dawg! They still have axes and spears and stuff too! If I'm lucky, I'mma catch a giant spear RIGHT IN THE EYE!"
Voiced by: Bret 'Brook' Parker
A friend of Bjørn's from back when they were childeren (and alive) who is far more enthusiastic about dying in battle and going to Valhalla. As it turns out, she died of boredom several years later when nobody manages to kill her, and she ends up in Helheim cataloging puzzles. When they meet up again, they make a plan for her and Bjørn to switch afterlives.
- All There in the Script: Her last name is never mentioned in the game, but it is revealed in the Steam trading cards. According to the developers, Bjørn was originally supposed to greet her by her full name during their reunion, but this was decided against so that the characters wouldn't all talk the same way.
- BFS: As a kid she carries a sword that looks like it's the same size as her. The sword she wields as an adult is quite big as well.
- Childhood Friends: She was a good friend of Bjørn's back when they were still alive.
- Fiery Redhead: She is a lively girl with a great love of battling, and her hair is even redder than Bjørn's.
- She Is All Grown Up: When they meet up again, Bjørn doesn't recognize her until she temporarily shapeshifts into her childhood form.
Hugin and Munin
Bear Death (SPOILERS)
"YOOOOOOUUUU!"
"You get out of here, you gosh-darn creeps!"
Voiced by: Brian Sommer
A mysterious cloaked entity that has been stalking Bjørn and Pesto, his first appearance being in Wetwood. Pesto believes him to be the ghost of the bear Bjørn accidentally landed on. He is actually the Bear Grim Reaper, searching for the actual bear ghost who has been tracking down Bjørn. As it turns out, he was only following them just to ask them about it.
- Black Cloak: He dons one. His outfit suits his occupation considerably more than that of his skeleton counterpart.
- Dark Is Not Evil: He is more neutral than good, but he was never out to hurt Bjørn. He was just looking for Anthony to take him back to Bear Hell and wanted to ask of his whereabouts.
- The Grim Reaper: The bear variant. Apparently not very good at his job.
Hel
"I assume your journey was free of inconvenience?"
"Welcome to Helheim. My name is Hel. That's with one L...not to be confused with Hell, which you are from, I assume."
Voiced by: Jenn Wong
The goddess of the dead who oversees Helheim and sells swords handcrafted by dwarves to Satan. Extremely reluctant to let Bjørn stay in Helheim at first since Odin had already claimed him. Has bonded with Balder over the centuries he had been down there with her, and has even taken on something of a motherly role towards him.
- I Want My Beloved to Be Happy: In a familial sense. When Odin offers to take Balder back to Valhalla with him the latter is hesitant at first, saying he would have to ask his "mom". At that point she steps in and allows him to go, telling him that he's done so much good for Helheim that he's earned the right to do whatever he wants.
- Mama Bear: She's certainly taken on this role for Balder.
"You and I are going to have a little chat. And by chat, I mean I'm going to inflict large amounts of pain upon you."
- Two-Faced: Naturally, according to Norse mythology.
