Characters / Dirty Potter

Jim Dale

    Dirty Potter Characters 

Harry Potter

Hermione Granger

  • Insufferable Genius
  • Only Sane Woman: She comes off as the only voice of reason amongst her peers. But Hermione is not above engaging in various sexual activities herself.

Ron Weasley

Albus Dumbledore

Draco Malfoy


  • Anything That Moves: If it stands still long enough.
  • Gag Penis: It's been described as being sixteen feet long. At one point it grew to "the size of Hogwarts".


A perverted porn addict who wears a filthy Hippogriff costume. First introduced in "Dirty Potter 4".
  • A Date with Rosie Palms: It's all he's been doing since "the incident" that got him expelled.
  • Dirty Old Man: He's described as a forty-something year old man who enjoys spying on students while they have sex.
  • Embarrassing Cover Up: The school quietly expelled him and covered it up by saying he died in a "freak triple-penetration accident" and payed Jim Dale off with a sausage-shaped trophy for his trouble.
  • Fat Slob: He's described as a big man who's unshaven, never bathes, and never cleans up after himself. He even misses the toilet on purpose when taking a leak.
  • The Hedonist: Almost all his waking moments are spent indulging in his various vices- masturbating to porn, smoking weed, drinking alcohol, and eating cheesy snacks with Mountain Dew.
  • Memetic Molester: He molested the entirety of Hogwarts in his third year and turned the all into gays.
  • The Peeping Tom: In all of his appearances he's spying on the others while they perform various disgusting sex acts.
  • Rape and Switch: "The incident" refers to when Fuckbeak got expelled from Hogwarts for molesting everyone and turning them all gay.

J.K. Rowling

Stephen Fry


  • The Nose Knows: Voldemort can smell cum from anywhere!
  • The Stoner: Professor Sprout confiscates a bag of pot from Ron and Harry, and rewards the House of Gryffindor.

    Dirty the Pooh Characters 

Winnie the Pooh

  • Bait the Dog: Presented as a fairly likable, if just as perverted as the other characters in the series, in part 1 and 2. Then part 3 comes around and let's just say his nice guy facade is dropped quickly.
  • Bears Are Bad News: You have no idea!
  • Big Eater: Loves to eat honey, cum, his friends, and will sell his soul for more.
  • Deal with the Devil: Word of God says Pooh sold his soul for honey and gay porn.
    Pooh: My very dear friend, Satan, has told me to tell you that the job for today is to DIE and make it as painful as possible."
  • Katanas Are Just Better: Pooh somehow gets a hold of one.
  • Would Hurt a Child: Pooh uses a ginormous ninja sword to cut Roo into strips and later bites off a baby rabbit's head to drink its warm glorious blood.



  • Author Existence Failure: Pooh decapitates David Benedictus offscreen (or in this case, offaudio) and displays his severed head.

Christopher Robin

  • Selfcest: He fucks himself after letting himself into his house.
  • Troubling Unchildlike Behavior: He regularly has sex with animals and himself. And he's supposed to be a young boy.

    Standalone Dirty Characters 

Peter Pan

Barack Obama