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General
- Adults Are Useless: Your dad in particular doesn't do anything except sit in the house, read the paper, and fret about your lack of social life. The Gainax Ending reveals he even instigated the plot in order to improve your reputation, making him responsible for all the chores you've been forced through.
- Ambiguously Human: Many characters only partially resemble humans.
- Cephalothorax: A number of the Underground residents are this, or at least appear to be, depending on whether they are objects with faces and feet or are merely wearing them like costumes. Michio Suzuki is the most obvious, being just a Waddling Head.
- Cloudcuckoolander: Many of the Underground Residents are generally the weirder residents of town. Poor Boy can peek into holes in the ground to gain some hints about how to kiss them, but it doesn't make anything about their personality or background less confusing.
- Gonk: Many characters have cartoony models with even more cartoony official art.
- Nobody Poops: Averted, bathrooms are the save points. Also, you find poop when you go dumpster diving. And checking the bamboo. And, of course, the manure pit.
- NPC Scheduling: The various people you have to kiss will appear in different places at different times of day. And they follow their predetermined paths very rigidly, walking over you if you get in their way. (Fortunately this is one of the few things that won't take health away.)
- Speaking Simlish: Everyone in the game but you speaks in gibberish voices.
- Super-Deformed: The only characters who don't have chibi proportions are the ones who aren't human at all, but the police officer is an Exaggerated version; he'd be considered a bobblehead even by the other characters' standards.
Main Characters
Poor Boy
A junior high school boy who lives in the Aboveground parts of Long Life Town. Wants to get a kiss from the girl he loves. Has no official name.- Black Bead Eyes: Has these for the most part, except for the occasional event where Poor Boy is surprised by an event. For example, during the reveal of Bell's true form as a Human Bell, he has at least a few expressions given. First is shock and soon after is what can only be described as "what the fuck"?
- Bowdlerise: In the original Japanese version, when Poor Boy enters the bathhouse he can get naked. In other versions, he instead has black underwear.
- Butt-Monkey: Undergoes the most pain throughout the game. This includes both emotional and physical pain, as the heart meter is based partially upon the "heartbreak" he receives (including reading a bad comic book or being insulted). It's exaggerated to the point where if somebody insults him, he will be knocked to the ground. Not only that, but there are many points in the game where he is required by the plot to get hurt, even at minimal damage or much, much more.
- Determinator: No matter what gets in his way or what odd quests the game throws at him, he will get his practice kisses and get the Love Letter Set back.
- Extreme Omnisexual: Poor Boy can kiss a large variety of living creatures, and even some that may not be living at all (such as the voodoo doll).
- Face Fault: Part of his Butt-Monkey status when he has his heart broken or is surprised.
- Face Plant: May fall face-first into the ground for slapstick comedy.
- Free-Range Children: Is allowed to run all around town and can even visit other areas by train, all in the name of getting kissing experience and obtaining the Love Letter Set.
- Grade-School C.E.O.: When Poor Boy goes to Funny Bone Factory, he is eventually given the chance to become manager-for-a-day. He later takes that opportunity to forcefully make himself the president, giving him the ability to fire other workers.
- Hello, [Insert Name Here]: At the start of the game, the player may give them a name. The game gives no default options for this.
- Hyperactive Metabolism: Can heal his broken heart by eating things that he finds, like hot or cold sweet potatoes and heart chocolates. This incldues stuff that comes from the trash, no less.
- Level-Up at Intimacy 5: You gain more hearts by kissing people.
- Love at First Sight: When he first talks to Her, there is heartfelt music and oddly realistic flowers pasted on the screen, signifying his love.
- Naked People Are Funny: The protagonist has to get naked (for regionally-varying levels of naked) to use the bathhouse, and it is possible to sneak out without getting dressed. Anybody you talk to will mention it if you do.
- Pervert Revenge Mode: Can kiss anybody without their permission beforehand and gets rightfully slapped for it.
- Puppy Love: It's the central focus of the game and part of Poor Boy's main goal.
- Really Gets Around: An odd variant. The game revolves around him kissing everyone he can for practice.
- Silent Protagonist: Though the protagonist doesn't have a "voice" like everyone else, you can still answer questions by way of dialogue trees.
- Wingding Eyes: The player character's eyes turn into X's when taking damage (and dying).
Her
A junior high school girl who has ran away from home and lives in the Aboveground part of Long Life Town. The object of Poor Boy's affections. Her mother is Julie and her father is Goro. Has no official name.- Free-Range Children: Although her mother does worry about her leaving home, her father has no qualms against it and none of the other towns people care.
- Hello, [Insert Name Here]: At the start of the game, the player may give them a name. The game gives no default options for this.
- Love Interest: Serves as one to Poor Boy.
- The Runaway: Ran away from her family troubles at home.
Long Life Town Residents
Dad
An Aboveground resident and the player's father. Also revealed to be the principal at the local junior high school.- Ambiguously Human: By the end of the game, the player sees his head roll off his body and sprout legs, revealing that he is the same as the other teachers. How he gave birth to somebody like Poor Boy is never explained and Poor Boy never gives any reaction to this reveal. The old body actually ends up being casually kicked away by another teacher.
- The Dog Was the Mastermind: As it turns out, the father was actually the one orchestrating the entire Love Letter Set plot, with the help of the other teachers.
- Waddling Head: At the end of the game, he turns out to be this. His real body was seemingly fake all along.
- Walking Spoiler: His true goals are a huge spoiler for the last segment of the game, where it is revealed that he is the principal of the local junior high school and working with the teachers to give his son life experience.
Julie
An Aboveground resident, mother of Her and Goro's wife.- Abusive Parents: Constantly berates Goro.
- Lethal Chef: Everybody in town hates her grilled chicken, except maybe a few. The last segment of the game requires players to find the few people who like her cooking as evidence for the court. It Makes As Much Sense In Context.
Goro
An Aboveground resident, father of Her and Julie's husband.- Abusive Parents: Has been drinking for a while and even throws a wine bottle at Julie while drunk. Julie suggests this is the reason why Her ran away.
- Lazy Bum: Proclaims himself to be an artist of sweet potatoes but spends most of his day drinking or wallowing in self-pity. Julie even calls him as such.
Her's cat
An Aboveground resident. Not kissable.- Final-Exam Boss: As part of the game's strange Gainax Ending, the cat gives the player one last challenge and questions everything they know about the game, with many answers only being found in the manual.
Dr. Dandy
An Aboveground resident.- Ambiguously Human: Transforms into a different version of himself at night, calling into question who he really is.
- Dressed to Heal: Doctor Dandy has the lab coat and the head mirror...
- Deadly Doctor: and at night, rubber gloves and a huge-ass needle.
- Self-Care Epiphany: As a doctor he tries to help others as much as possible, but he isn't helping himself and is so severely overworked that he falls asleep at his desk at random. He is also sick himself, which causes him to wander the streets at night manically taking blood. If the boy plays doctor and heals him he will realise the error of his ways and give a kiss.
Michelle
An Aboveground resident.Mr. Cheapot
An Aboveground resident.- We Buy Anything: Mr. Cheapot will even take the poops you find in the trash. They're only worth one penny though.
Rocky
An Aboveground resident and the shop owner's dog.- Company Cross References: One character asks you the name of the dog, and the answers include "Pocky", as well as "Rocky", two names shared by the characters that headline fellow Natsume game Pocky & Rocky.
Batayan
An Aboveground resident.Leo
An Aboveground resident.Policeman
An Aboveground resident.- Ambiguously Evil: Noted to punish players for simple crimes, such as smoking tobacco and running around naked. Getting three stamps means he will send Poor Boy to the graveyard, which is the equivalent of a death sentence if Poor Boy wasn't able to get himself free. The same happens to Goro, but that's more justified as he was convicted after repeated offenses along with domestic abuse.
- Blush Stickers: Has these constantly. Not that it makes him look any more friendly.
- Creepy Good: Technically supposed to be good because he's upholding the law. However, he prowls around at night with glaring eyes, has a permanently wide smile, shoots around his gun when he doesn't need to, and just in general doesn't seem entirely pure...
- Everyone Calls Him "Barkeep": Never given an actual name.
- Gonk: The Policeman, who is Super-Deformed even by the standards of this game's art style.
- Super-Deformed: His head is much bigger than his body. Much, much bigger.
- Trigger-Happy: The police officer at night.
Conductor
An Aboveground resident.Mrs. Plum
An Aboveground resident.Onion Lady
An Underground resident.Mr. Music Box
An Underground resident.Ms. Thick Glasses
An Underground resident.Mr. Apollo
An Underground resident.Retired Bucket
An Underground resident.Champ
An Underground resident.Chuck
An Underground resident.Yodzilla
An Underground resident.- Shout-Out: To Godzilla, obviously.
Chopper
An Underground resident.Jamtrack 415
An Underground resident.Tin Signboard
An Underground resident.Dr. Fill
An Underground resident.Pinch Poncho
An Underground resident.Thief Tip Toe IV
An Underground resident.Turtle Boy
An Underground resident.Eucalyptuski
An Underground resident. Worldly Desire Temple Residents
Bell
An Aboveground resident. Actually turns out to be a Human Bell, of all things.- Action Girl: Very strong and well-trained. Even ends up taking on the Charcoal in a fight and wins.
- Ambiguously Human: Her true form is revealed to be about the same as you'd expect, except there's a bell around her head.
- Meaningful Name: Her name "Bell" comes from the fact that
Monk Hoichi
An Aboveground resident.- Distressed Dude: As a result of Poor Boy's actions, the monk ends up being cursed by the bells. It's up to Poor Boy and Bell to undo this curse.
Zombie Mika
An Aboveground resident.- Be Careful What You Wish For: As mentioned below, Mika wished really hard not to die, so she became a zombie instead.
- Came Back Wrong: Her name gives her status away. She was involved in a car accident and wished really hard not to die... and ended up as a zombie. And then started to slowly decay, losing her memories as well as parts of her body.
- Lethal Chef: Mika is probably not trying to kill you with her tea on purpose. Probably.
- The Lost Lenore: Serves as this for Leo, the one who runs the bathhouse.
- The Pollyanna: Despite being dead Miss Zombie Mika has a very cheerful attitude and she remains cheerful even as her brain begins to decay and she starts losing her memories...
Charcoal
An Aboveground resident.Agony Man
An Underground resident.Eggplant Boy
An Underground resident.Hasty Wizard
An Underground resident.Mr. Frog
An Underground resident.Mr. Inoue
An Underground resident.Snobby Tengu
An Underground resident.Voodoo Doll
An Underground resident.The Grim Reaper
Technically not a resident in Worldly Desire Temple but still prowls around the place.- The Grim Reaper: Hangs out in the cemetery and swings his scythe at you.
Scarecrow Field Residents
Alien
An Aboveground resident.Invisible Man
An Aboveground resident.Scarecrow
An Aboveground resident and former worker at Funny Bone Factory. Actual name is Henosuke Henota.- Henohenomoheji: Seen on the scarecrow's face.
20-year-old Guy
An Underground resident.Man Spider
An Underground resident.Miss Clam
An Underground resident.Sniper
An Underground resident.Target
An Underground resident. Funny Bone City Residents
Henorou Henoyama
The Operation Chief of Funny Bone Factory and employee number 892. Requires Poor Boy to deliver a letter to a friend in Scarecrow Field.Henoko Henomura
The tour guide and chief of Funny Bone Factory.Factory Workers
These are all workers at Funny Bone Factory. Many of them look identical and are only known by their numbers.- Henohenomoheji: Seen on the faces of the factory workers.
- To Be a Master: Employee number 894 hopes to become the president of the factory one day. Unfortunately for him, Poor Boy ends up taking that spot.
Ad Balloon
An Underground resident.Robot-King
An Underground resident.Box-Man
An Underground resident.Mecha-Yodzilla
An Underground resident.Jigsaw
An Underground resident.Swimmer Daniel
An Underground resident. Junior High Teachers
General
- Ambiguously Human: Some of the strangest people in the game, namely due to their human faces and limbs attached to odd objects. The only exceptions to this rule are Mr. Suzuki and Poor Boy's father.
- Anthropomorphic Objects: Almost all of the teachers are part-human, part-object. Either that or they're actual humans dressing up as objects. The distinction is never made clear.
- Cephalothorax: The teachers might be this, depending on whether they are objects with faces and feet or are merely wearing them like costumes. Michio Suzuki is the most obvious, being just a Waddling Head.
- Stealth Mentor: At the end of the game, it is revealed that the trouble caused by the teachers was a result of them deliberately testing the Poor Boy so he would become a man with a strong heart.
Mr. Michio Suzuki
An Underground resident of Long Life Town and has a part-time job maintaining the street lamps. Serves as Poor Boy's "love guru".- Foreshadowing: If Poor Boy happens to land himself in jail, Mr. Suzuki will help him break out. This may be foreshadowing to how he and the other teachers are actually helping Poor Boy get life experience.
- Waddling Head: Quite literally. Resembles Mr. Saturn in that regard.
Mr. Dan Yamada
A retired teacher. Played soccer in junior high and often kicks things as a result.- Butt-Monkey: Often is seen falling over due to his tall height as a pole. Also gets beat up by the other three teachers.
Mr. Saburomaru Inoue
Poor Boy can see him at the Worldly Desire Temple to get the Love Ink back.Junichi Saito
A retired P.E. teacher. Poor Boy can see him in Funny Bone City to get the Love Paper back.- I Know Kung-Faux: Most likely, at least, Although he boasts about the various martial arts he's an expert in, at least Shogi and Mahjong are most certainly not actual forms of martial arts.
Mrs. Sayuri Iwata
A retired English teacher. Poor Boy can see her in Scarecrow Field to get the Love Fountain Pen.- The Smurfette Principle: She's the only female member of the retired junior high staff.
