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Video Game: Chulip
Chulip is a game developed by Punchline and published by Natsume for the PlayStation 2. You play as a young boy who immediately encounters his true love upon moving into a town full of quirky people. However, the boy lacks the confidence he needs to ask her out, so he must go on a quest to write the perfect love letter. He must also obtain a high reputation, which he must do by... get this... kissing as many characters as he can.

Including old ladies.

And men.

And turtles.

And aliens.

And... yeah.

This game contains examples of:

  • Adults Are Useless - Your dad in particular doesn't do anything except sit in the house, read the paper, and fret about your lack of social life.
  • All Crimes Are Equal - You can get a crime stamp for underage smoking, and if that happens to be your third crime stamp, you go straight to the graveyard. Also, if the policeman catches you sneaking about at night, he'll pull out his gun and shoot at you.
  • Anthropomorphic Objects - Though in some cases it's not clear if it's a talking stop sign or a person dressed up as one.
  • Anything That Moves - As said above, you have to kiss a lot of people... and animals, in order to get far in your quest.
  • Came Back Wrong: Miss Zombie Mika. She was in a car accident, and wished really hard not to die... and ended up as a zombie. And then started to slowly decay, losing her memories as well as parts of her body.
  • Crucified Hero Shot: "Oh! You have revived!"
  • Crap Sack World- There’s poopie all over the place, and you can't go anywhere without getting horribly injured and/or killed
  • Dating Sim - Depending on your definition of 'dating'...
  • Dressed To Heal - Doctor Dandy has the lab coat and the head mirror...
    • Deadly Doctor - and at night, rubber gloves and a huge-ass needle.
  • Everything Is Trying to Kill You - Since the protagonist's heart meter is technically his emotions, he can be "injured" by insults, or even watching a chef kill a chicken.
  • Fast-Forward Mechanic - Sleeping automatically puts the protaganist at 8:00 in the morning the next day until he gets his alarm clock fixed to awaken himself at some other time.
    • Reading comics also fast forwards time.
  • Girl of My Dreams - The main character's motivation.
  • Give Me Your Inventory Item: Mrs. Plum's candies are more than healing items...
  • Gonk: The Policeman, who is Super-Deformed even by the standards of this game's art style.
  • Gotta Kiss Them All: Or your Love Interest won't take you seriously.
  • The Grim Reaper: Hangs out in the cemetery and swings his scythe at you.
  • Guide Dang It - The game's final challenge. And several others. The game's manual contains a "hint guide", and even that's not accurate for one of the puzzles.
  • Hello, Insert Name Here: You can name both the hero and his Love Interest.
  • Henohenomoheji - Seen on the faces of the factory workers.
  • In-Universe Game Clock - advances in real time (but quite a bit faster), not just with day and night cycles, but with specific things happening at various hours of the day.
  • Justified Save Point - Going to the bathroom saves your progress because doing so "records your life".
  • Lethal Chef: Mika is probably not trying to kill you with her tea on purpose. Probably.
  • Level-Up at Intimacy 5 - You gain more hearts by kissing people.
  • Mood Whiplash - The zombie girl in the graveyard, whose story is both sad and kinda creepy compared to the lighthearted weirdness of the rest of the game.
    • And the spouse abuse and subsequent jailbreak.
      • The factory workers. Newer employees seem happy and excited; but the older ones are miserable, unfulfilled, and wonder if they have wasted their lives.
  • Most Annoying Sound: In-Universe, Mr. Inoue (the gravestone) hates the sound of Hoichi's (the monk) and won't give you the Love Ink until you find a replacement gong.
  • Naked People Are Funny
  • Nobody Poops - Averted: Bathrooms are the save points. Also, you find poop when you go dumpster diving.
  • No Export for You - You'd think this would be the case for this, and it almost was. But it finally came out in the US... a full five years after its initial Japanese release.
  • NPC Scheduling - The various people you have to kiss will appear in different places at different times of day.
  • One-Hit KO - Just about everything when your health meter is low.
  • The Pollyanna- Despite being dead Miss Zombie Mika has a very cheerful attitude and she remains cheerful even as her brain begins to decay and she starts losing her memories...
  • Sexophone - Plays almost every time a successful kiss is made.
  • Silent Protagonist - Though the protagonist doesn't have a "voice" like everyone else, you can still answer questions by way of dialogue trees.
  • Solid Gold Poop: Left by an otherwise ordinary security guard, who must have some really bad digestive troubles.
  • Speaking Simlish
  • Surreal Humor - Everything about this game.
  • Too Long; Didn't Dub - A significant portion of the game's text outside dialogue boxes (such as the chapter screens, and the films) is left untranslated.
  • Trigger Happy - The police officer at night.
  • Vendor Trash - You can find Poopie by searching the trash cans. And sell it for money.
  • Widget Series - A wonderful widget, if ever a widget there was.
  • Wingding Eyes - The player character's eyes turn into X's when taking damage (and dying).
  • Worst News Judgement Ever - The player character's exploits are published on Long Life Town's newspaper once he's kissed enough people.

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alternative title(s): Chulip
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