Wicked223 plays the My Immortal Drinking Game

That was only a small chapter, so I should have one more left in me for the night.

That's already pretty hideous. Who wears Victorian underwear outdoors? AND In Hogwarts?

Goiffks. Not goths, goffiks. There's an astronomical amount of difference.

How many chapters are there?

44, most of them relatively short.

I've read a pretty hilarious MST of this a while back. Despite the excellent amount of snark my urge to fly into an Unstoppable Rage remained consistently at "Dangerous". Let's hope this will turn out better, for all our sakes...

Do another one, then. It's entertaining.

Chapter 2

Okay. My descent into stygian madness continues.

Our protagonist wakes up in her (she's gonna say dorm room, right?) bedroom (FUCK!) She opens the door to her coffin and drinks some blood from a bottle and what is this I don't even. How did she convince the staff to let her sleep in her coffin and have HUMAN blood in a bottle?! She gets up and: "took of my giant MCR t-shirt which I used for pajamas... put on a black leather dress, a pentagram necklace, combat boots and black fishnets on... put on four pairs of earrings in my pierced ears, and put my hair in a kind of messy bun." God knows how a wizard got ahold of these things.

her friend Willow (there's an author's note telling her friend Raven that her avatar has arrived in the story.) She: "woke up then and grinned at me. She flipped her long waist-length raven black hair with pink streaks and opened her forest-green eyes. She put on her Marilyn Manson t-shirt with a black mini, fishnets and pointy high-heeled boots(STILETTOS, Tara. STILETTOS)." And then they put on makeup (black lipstick white foundation and black eyeliner).

They proceed to gossip with each other. Willow saw Ebony talking to Draco (she saw a 5 second conversation, and remembered enough to tell her about it. GRAET). Ebony brushes it off with a "So?" Willow asks her if she likes Draco. Ebony replies “No I so fucking don’t!” Harsh, MaryEbony. Willow gives her a "yeah right" response. A more stereotypical "girl" conversation has never been seem.

They're in the Great Hall having this conversation, btw. Draco walks up to Ebony, attraced by her Black Hole Sue Gravity Waves. he says hi, she replies the same, only "flirtily". It's amazing what qualifies as an adverb these days. Draco proceeds to tell her about a Good Charlotte concert in Hogsmeade-

WARNING: WICKED223 HAS ENCOUNTER A PROBLEM AND NEEDS TO CLOSE

A Good Charlotte concert. A Muggle band is playing a concert in a WIZARD COMMUNITY'. Do the words "International Statute Of Secrecy" mean NOTHING in this fic? Are Ebony's Black Hole Sue Gravity Waves so strong that they can cause founded hundreds of years ago to spontaneously cease existing?

But enough mental trauma. Ebony has a Squee reaction to this, saying how GC is her favorite band etc. i wonder what Willow's going to say, since she never formally left the scene. Draco proceeds to ask her to the concert. Ebony gasps. The chapter ends. My brain hurts.

-gives Wicked apsirin-

Ow.

Ach. I can't even hardly read a liveblog of this bloody thing without my head hurting. You are truly a brave man.

Wicked, for the sake of your own mental health, don't read any more tonight.

And good thing you aren't actually doing the drinking game.

edited 15th Oct '09 9:04:03 PM by OuttaTheBLAM

I am not brave, my friend Zudak. I am but a fool who seeks to draw attention to his suffering.

@BLAM: Just one more? I can't stop.

edited 15th Oct '09 8:03:34 PM by Wicked223

enjoys... drawing attention... suffering?

Oh no... Wicked is becoming... GOFFIC!!!!!!111

No. Tomorrow you will continue. But friends don't let friends read too much My Immortal in one sitting.

... IT BURNS

Amy Lee's the lead singer for Evanescence. And Hot Topic, by the way, doesn't have stores in Britain and doesn't ship internationally.

Are your recaps longer than the actual chapters?

*claps for Wicked's brave attempt*

I tried reading this. I stopped mainly due to the stupidity.

It seems that it's easier to read a recap then the real thing. So, thank you, Wicked!

Oh god...that...that was...GRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!

S@Xo how a1zj7m I doing s2xo f4va1zrk8, guys2x?

Your computer appears to've broken from the stupid. However, you seem intact.

Carry on.

I'd3c d3co the nes2xt d3cha1zpterk8, but j7my brother's2x on the good3c d3coj7mputerk8, unl9.es2xs2 you wa1znt to s2xee the whol9.e thing in Ga1zrba1zgek8,eyboa1zrd3cl9.

Or did it break you? *weeps for poor Wicked*

Oh, sorry you aren't on the good computer, Wicked. No prob if you can't get the next chapter up now. You're doing great.

edited 16th Oct '09 5:09:37 PM by Katrika

Chapter 3

On the next episode of My Immortal...

There's an Author's Note at the beginning telling the "pteps" to stop "flamming" her story, giving "fangs" to the "goffik" people for good reviews- People gave this good reviews? Also, she doesn't own the lyrics for Good Charlotte. She wouldn't run into this problem IF SHE HAD USED A BAND FROM THE FUCKING BOOKS. Whatever.

Chapter opens on the night of the concert. She puts on: black lace-up boots with high heels. Underneath them were ripped red fishnets. ... put on a black leather minidress with all this corset stuff on the back and front. ...put on matching fishnet on my arms." She straightens her hair to make it spiky, instead of making it fall down her back LIKE WHAT THAT WORD ACTUALLY MEANS. She feels a little depressed, so she slits one of her wrists What. She felt depressed while getting dressed, so she slits one of her wrists, with a blade that shouldn't even BE in a dorm room? She reads a depressing book while waiting for the wound to stop bleeding, while listening to Good Charlotte, with a player that SHOULD NOT EVEN BE WORKING RIGHT NOW. She paints her nails black and puts on a uselessly large amount of eyeliner, then puts on black lipstick, all while her wrist is still bleeding and reading a depressing book, since she never actually stopped doing either of these things. After drinking the blood of a human who was slaughtered for the sole purpose of making Ebony more "goffik"-looking. I wonder how many countless innocents have lost their lives to Ebony's blood bottle.

She went outside (of the school? Of the common room? of her room? Who knows which!). Draco calls her. She responds in a depressed voice, making the exclamation point in that sentence all the more out of place. They both climb in Draco's flying Mercedes-Benz. Never mind Arthur was laughed at by the Malfoys for owning a flying car, and therefore would never themselves own one. On the way to the "concert", they smoke cigarettes and drugs, while listening to Good Charlotte and Marilyn Manson, at the same time, given the amount of context written down here. Btw, Draco is wearing: "a Simple Plan t-shirt (they would play at the show too), baggy black skater pants, black nail polish and a little eyeliner". Not gonna bother asking how the hell he got ANY of this merchandise. Also, the car has "666" as a license plate.

When they get there, they go to the mosh pit at the front of the stage, pushing aside the other dancers using her Black Hole Sue Gravity Waves, and started jumping up and down to the music. Some Good Charlotte lyrics here. Ebony points to Joel and says he's so fucking hot, right in front of Draco. Draco becomes sad. Ebony reassures him that she doesn't like him better than her. Draco puts her arm arounf Ebony "protectively." Ebony goes on to say that she doesn't know Joel and that he's going out with Hilary Duff and Ebony fucking hates that fucking bitch.

The concert goes well. They both go over to Benji and Joel and get autographs and photos (And then Benji and Joel ask them why the hell they're in this village that's not on any map in existence, and the entire story gets sucked in to complete oblivion- No wait, that doesn't happen, because this is My Immortal). Draco takes Ebony back into the car, but instead of taking back to Hogwarts, the Black Hole Sue Gravity Waves alter the cars destination to……………………… the Forbidden Forest. Because obviously, no one's going to notice a flying Mercedes going into the Forbidden Forest, nope.