Buying drinks from SCP-294

The purpose of this thread is to conduct further experiments involving SCP-294.

Example:

I type in "a cup of TV Tropes"

Result: A cup of fluid resembling lemonade, one researcher bravely took a sip; he claimed it tasted like "meta". His remains were later found alongside a note stating "TV Tropes ruined my life".

I type in "forum game"

edited 16th Jun '10 9:38:32 AM by TheMightyAnonym

Result: [DATA EXPUNGED].

Request: Falcon Punch.

A cup of red liquid. It is simultaneously the tastiest and most painful drink you've ever had in your life.

One cup of madness, please.

Result: A cup of blackish-red, cloudy liquid reported to display glinting symbols in an unknown language when held to the light. After taking a sip, one researcher [DATA EXPUNGED]; for his own safety he is currently confined in an isolated cell until further notice. When spilled, the liquid sizzled and evaporated into the air, inducing strong feelings of [DATA EXPUNGED] in all researchers present for approximately eighteen minutes.

Request: A cup of despair.

Result: A clear liquid, looking and tasting exactly like water. When the class D assigned to test the substance took a drink, he developed severe depression and hanged himself about an hour later.

Request: A cup of fire

Your cup is full of burning napalm. What did you expect, a Potion of Cold Resistance?

I request the Best Beer Ever.

Result: A large mug of cool beer with a photo of you on holiday with your friends one summer vacation. You recognise the photo as the day you went out for drinks and had a great time.

Request: A cup of truth.

A clear substance, that when consumed, renders the drinker incapable of uttering any untruth or half-truth when posed with a question, regardless of how minor it is. Interest has been expressed by researchers in administering this liquid to Class D personnel.

A cup of Link Connect Liquid...

Result: a cup of liquid similar in appearance and consistency to Tang. Researchers noted that it tasted heavily of blood, and one reported that he had no trouble breathing after accidentally spilling some down his larynx.

A Blue Suns.

edited 16th Jun '10 1:17:33 PM by SullenFrog

A glowy blue drink that tastes of raspberries. And burning. Much burning.

One Pan-Galactic Gargle Blaster, please.

edited 16th Jun '10 2:51:27 PM by KSPAM

Output: One frothing blue drink in a martini glass. Reported to be tasty "like being hit by a lemon tied to a gold brick"

Request: A cup of lust.

Result: A pink liquid that causes every conceivable orifice in your field of vision to look like female genitalia.

Request: A cup of immortality.

edited 16th Jun '10 5:33:58 PM by kagescorpionakki

Output: Machine failed to produce a drink, gave "OUT OF RANGE" notice instead.

A cup of ecstasy (the sensation, not the name for MDMA).

^^^^ That was already done on the SCP site. The result wasn't pretty.

Output: A frothy violet liquid giving off a minty odor. When drunk, produces strong feelings of lethargic euphoria as well as of sexual satisfaction; subjects reported having "jizzed in their pants" on multiple occasions, in response to diverse stimuli [Note: new pants and eventually condoms were provided for the subjects]. These sensations lasted for about twenty-four hours, though after wearing off, the subjects displayed withdrawal symptoms and demanded more.

Request: A Bloody Krauss.

a drink that is red and tastes very pleasant...but is blood.

request: invincibility drink

Output: A dark red liquid that was remarked as having an "indescribable" taste. Subject that drank the liquid began subjecting themselves to numerous life-threatening situations, and received no apparent harm from them. The effects of the drink began to wear off after approximately 5 minutes, after which reports of injuries began to surface. After 10 minutes, subjects who drank the liquid were commanded to "stop acting like idiots" after a Class D personnel that was administered the liquid died after flinging himself off of a ledge in excess of 100 meters in height.

Input: A cup of Moo Moo Milk.

edited 16th Jun '10 8:08:10 PM by CaptainNapalm

Output: A cup of ordinary-looking milk. Has no effect on humans; however, one researcher reported that when he gave a saucer of the milk to his cat, it displayed greatly increased vitality and energy.

Request: A Blue Potion.

Result: A thick, opaque, and deep blue liquid. When drunk, subject requested a meeting with SCP-343(God). Request was granted. Upon reaching the testing area, subject proceeded to [DATA EXPUNGED]. Heavy damage to containment area was sustained, and — personnel reported [REDACTED] wounds. Subject terminated over 343's protests.

Dr. Clef: Never ask for something associated with magic, got it?

Request: A cup of national nostalgia.

Result: A fluid that changes colors to resemble the country of origin of whoever is holding the cup. Subjects who consume the substance become obsessed with history; however effects are shown to wear off once the subject has written a 10,000 page book on their country. One German subject upon consumption attempted to take over the facility and did not calm down until [DATA EXPUNGED]; further testing is heavily discouraged.

Request: A cup of =D.

edited 16th Jun '10 9:51:49 PM by TheMightyAnonym

Output: A cup of bright golden liquid. After consumption, all test subjects behaved cheerfully and reported an increased sense of optimism, even the class-D personnel. Effects faded after about six hours.

Request: Romulan ale.

edited 16th Jun '10 10:12:04 PM by KarlzBelena

A frothing glass of ale that makes you buckle upon consumption, as if you'd been sucker punched.

A bottle of Demoman's scrumpy.

Result: A slightly rotten cup of Scotch whiskey.

Request: A cup of holy.

A cup which, upon consumption, causes the drinker to say the phrase "holier than thee." No other effects have been noted.

A cup of bull's milk.

The machine gave an "OUT OF RANGE" message.

Request: A cup of strawberry cheesecake.