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Gallant and Goofus

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TheBlueHour No one from Nowhere Relationship Status: Browsing the selection
No one
Jun 9th 2018 at 11:02:39 AM

Goofus's car is such a mess that he is forced to steal other people's cars to get anywhere.

Gallant is a good guy despite being an Eldritch Abomination.

I have no signature. You're hallucinating this.
DatLonerGirl A N G E R Y from a top secret place Relationship Status: Chocolate!
A N G E R Y
Jun 9th 2018 at 12:14:50 PM

Goofus is horribly evil despite being a cute, tiny kitten.

Gallant invest in clean energy.

Writer, or something.
Jun 9th 2018 at 10:56:35 PM

Goofus invests in the fuel Ozone Layer B-Gone, made of 100% chlorofluorocarbons.

Saint Gallant the monk spends his days helping the poor and sick, and his evenings meditating amongst his animal friends.

Some_Person Prison Mike from Land of Maple Syrup and Hockey Relationship Status: Chocolate!
Prison Mike
Jun 10th 2018 at 5:02:53 AM

Goofus is a televangelist who doesn't even believe in the things he's preaching and instead just wants money.

Gallant joined the Peace Corps.

The worst thing about prison was the Dementors
atimnie The Video Guy from Chicago Relationship Status: Can't buy me love
The Video Guy
Jun 10th 2018 at 5:42:30 AM

[up][up]Isn't that all televangelists?

Goofus is a mercenary, fighting for the highest bidder.

Gallant ignores when people call him a goody two shoes brown noser.

And you run and you run to catch up with the sun, but it's sinking, and racing around to come up behind you again
DatLonerGirl A N G E R Y from a top secret place Relationship Status: Chocolate!
A N G E R Y
Jun 10th 2018 at 6:35:49 AM

Goofus violently murders anyone that calls him a dangerous psychopath.

Gallant gets his dad an amazing gift for Father's Day.

Writer, or something.
dutchguy1986 from Somewhere in the universe. Relationship Status: In bed with a green-skinned space babe
Jun 10th 2018 at 7:51:14 AM

Goofus gets his father the exact same tie every year and later steals it from his father so he can give it again.

Gallant never uses text-speak.

WillyFourEyes Me and my Fat Chocobo from the Tomb of the Unknown Troper
Me and my Fat Chocobo
Jun 10th 2018 at 9:25:51 AM

Gfs tlks lik dis al d tim evn n rl (RT if u lol ever tim)

Gallant doesn't want to be an American Idiot.

Some_Person Prison Mike from Land of Maple Syrup and Hockey Relationship Status: Chocolate!
Prison Mike
Jun 10th 2018 at 9:33:26 AM

Goofus is a Basket Case

Gallant makes sure to follow instructions when assembling something.

The worst thing about prison was the Dementors
DatLonerGirl A N G E R Y from a top secret place Relationship Status: Chocolate!
A N G E R Y
Jun 10th 2018 at 9:51:42 AM

Goofus always messes up the instructions and gets his junk caught in a fan.

Gallant reads his kids bedtime stories.

Writer, or something.
TheBlueHour No one from Nowhere Relationship Status: Browsing the selection
No one
Jun 10th 2018 at 10:54:33 AM

You do not even want to know what Goofus would do with his children... if he had any. Which he does not thankfully.

Gallant didn't just save the earth, he also saved Mars.

I have no signature. You're hallucinating this.
Jaxfirebus Erectin' a Telespentry. from 2Fort Relationship Status: Non-Canon
Erectin' a Telespentry.
Jun 10th 2018 at 11:30:20 AM

Goofus was the one that put both in danger in the first place.

Gallant is careful not to break his mother's fine china.

Behold the might of the Spring-powered Gibus!
DatLonerGirl A N G E R Y from a top secret place Relationship Status: Chocolate!
A N G E R Y
Jun 10th 2018 at 2:07:42 PM

Goofus uses his mother's china as target practice.

Gallant has a great Big Brother Instinct and looks out for his little brother.

Writer, or something.
TheBlueHour No one from Nowhere Relationship Status: Browsing the selection
No one
Jun 10th 2018 at 2:25:05 PM

Goofus ate his little brother.

Gallant only eats meat from animals that were raised humanely.

I have no signature. You're hallucinating this.
lewattoo The Kid With The Hat from Planet Auguste Relationship Status: YOU'RE TEARING ME APART LISA
The Kid With The Hat
Jun 11th 2018 at 4:59:57 PM

Goofus not only sets out to find the most inhumanely raised meat possible, but takes perverse joy in hiding it in meals for his vegetarian/vegan guests.

Gallant practices before each test.

Someone needs to make a condom commercial that just displays a bunch of youtube comments. That entire industry would boom. -Physical Stamina
Superjohn Joker from Impel Down Relationship Status: Anime is my true love
Joker
Jun 12th 2018 at 11:33:31 AM

Goofus wings it and fails.

Gallant the fanfiction writer doesn't write smut fics involving underage characters.

“Pirates are evil? The Marines are righteous? These terms have always changed throughout the course of history! "
GrafVonTirol Did he kill your father? Relationship Status: Gonna take a lot to drag me away from you
Jun 12th 2018 at 11:58:55 AM

Goofus the fanfiction writer doesn't stop there, he also incorporates fetishes that /b/ finds far too much.

Gallant makes sure to eat his greens everyday.

What can I say? I'm actually elated Gravity Falls is coming out as a full physical release very soon.
TheBlueHour No one from Nowhere Relationship Status: Browsing the selection
No one
Jun 12th 2018 at 12:02:11 PM

Goofus has never eaten anything other then deep fried food.

Gallant is good at math and helps other kids learn it.

I have no signature. You're hallucinating this.
Jun 12th 2018 at 12:48:20 PM

Goofus sucks at math and knows it, but tutors unsuspecting kids anyway so he can spread the failure around.

After persuading Satan to reconcile with God, Gallant has Hell brought above ground and converted into affordable housing.

DatLonerGirl A N G E R Y from a top secret place Relationship Status: Chocolate!
A N G E R Y
Jun 12th 2018 at 1:24:47 PM

Goofus takes control of all the damned souls that were living there and creates a new Hell on Earth.

Gallant is a respectful, quiet, clean roommate.

Writer, or something.
WillyFourEyes Me and my Fat Chocobo from the Tomb of the Unknown Troper
Me and my Fat Chocobo
Jun 12th 2018 at 1:42:27 PM

Goofus is The Pig Pen.

Gallant doesn't like Shaq Fu, but doesn't think it's as bad as everyone says.

TheBlueHour No one from Nowhere Relationship Status: Browsing the selection
No one
Jun 12th 2018 at 2:10:57 PM

Goofus is the one who created and programmed Shaq Fu.

Gallant does not send texts that consist of more emojis then text.

I have no signature. You're hallucinating this.
Starbug Dwar of Helium from Variable Relationship Status: Remembering what Mama said
Dwar of Helium
Jun 12th 2018 at 2:29:41 PM

Goofus' texts require a U.N. translator.

Gallant doesn't send his crew on assignments that he wouldn't do himself.

I have ever been prone to seek adventure and to investigate and experiment where wiser men would have left well enough alone. - John Carter
Jun 13th 2018 at 8:31:19 PM

Goofus keeps a list of crew who've done things such as take the last dessert in the cafeteria just before him, and sends them on what turn out to be suicide missions.

Gallant Games releases all come with comprehensive tutorials, extensive in-game help and companion wikis.

atimnie The Video Guy from Chicago Relationship Status: Can't buy me love
The Video Guy
Jun 14th 2018 at 12:49:08 AM

Goofus Games all come with the same help file. "Figure it out, crap brain."

Gallant sees his doctor regularly.

And you run and you run to catch up with the sun, but it's sinking, and racing around to come up behind you again

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