The Pilot

This is a really minor thing that I should have spotted earlier, but I don't think "I'm used to it" is in character for Cody. I think it's right that he wouldn't complain about being overlooked at this point, but he certainly wouldn't admit to being used to it, because he cares too much about how he is perceived to admit to inconspicuousness.

I'm also still a little unsure about him talking about Koopa Troopas, but everyone knows Mario, so that should be OK so long as he doesn't reference more obscure old games. I can't really see him being a big Nintendo fan.

I think it's otherwise an excellent script, though.

edited 15th Feb '10 7:59:02 AM by BobbyG

Would something like "Don't worry about it; it happens" be a better phrasing for the line? I do want to use that exchange to hint that this is Cody's power.

And don't read too much into the line about Koopa Troopas. Remember, this is something the team does almost any time they have a few minutes to spare. One person comes up with a hypothetical enemy they might run into, and they work out how to defeat it. The randomer the idea, the better. The purpose of these conversations is threefold: 1. Establishing the team as people who plan ahead and make practical use of spare time, 2. Establishing how much the world has changed, that any type of fictional being might be present, no matter how trivial or how serious, and 3. Providing regular opportunities in the show for nerd humor.

"Don't worry about it; it happens" works fine.

I understand the situation with the conversations, but I still think it makes more sense for the characters to reference fiction they would be familiar with. It's not an issue here because everybody knows Mario.

Alright, I'll make all of the fixes.

Edit: I think that's all of the formatting errors. Let me know if you see any others.

edited 15th Feb '10 12:41:01 PM by Ironeye

Heehee.

Matrix: Okay, Arceus!

Kara: ...Run away?

On this note, I think it would be a nice Running Gag to have all of Matrix's hypothetical fictites be Pokemon.

Also: I thought of a scene for later in the series after Matrix does his Heel–Face Turn. It's half fanservice, half symbolism. He's in the shower, hence fanservice, and he's washing the dye off, hence symbolism.

Entire episode rough draft go!

FADE IN

EXT. LOS ANGELES – AFTERNOON

There is the appearance of breaking glass and numerous film and TV characters, both live action and animated, appear and begin attacking the populace.

EXT. TOKYO – EARLY MORNING

The glass-breaking effect reveals Kaiju and anime characters.

EXT. VANCOUVER – AFTERNOON

The city is under attack by Goa'uld, monsters from The Neverending Story, and stampeding Jumanji animals.

EXT. LONDON – NIGHT

The city is attacked by BBC and literature characters.

EXT. NEW YORK CITY – EVENING

The city is under attack from many characters, primarily villains from superhero comics.

FADE TO BLACK

“TV Tropes” appears on-screen, then fades.

EXT. GROSSE TÊTE – AFTERNOON

There is a haze over the swamp in the background. “Grosse-Tête, Louisiana, U.S.A.” and “Five Months Later” appear on-screen, then fade. The MAYOR, AIDE #1, and AIDE #2 wait in a parking lot next to a restuarant and a highway.

AIDE #1: When did Mitch say they were due to arrive, sir?

MAYOR: He couldn't pin down a time. These folks have a lot on their plate.

AIDE #2: They'll be worth the wait. They're the best at what they do.

AIDE #1: [taken aback] The best? Who else does it?

AIDE #2: Uh...

A motor home appears out of the haze with a motorcycle on the back, towing a pickup truck with some bicycles in the bed. The team gets out and "poses"—low shot for dramatic purposes—we're going for a low-key version of the Justice League Shot.

• MURKY—has her Naginata, face blank, leaning against the van, gives the general impression that she's not someone you want to mess with—use a Badass Arm-Fold
• KARA—non-flashy, shoulder-satchel with a first aid kit
• MATRIX—air-boxing and ready to go
• ARKS—cracking his knuckles and neck (with appropriate head-tilt)
• CODY—looking arrogantly confident and brandishing either a knife or his rifle
• IRONEYE—Armed with...a legal pad in his hands (with some notes on the top of the paper, not that it is apparent in this shot)

AIDE #1: [muttering] Do you think they practice that?

MAYOR: [muttering] Hush, you. [aloud] Welcome to our fair town of Grosse Tête! Not as fair as it could be, obviously, or you wouldn't be here.

KARALORA and IRONEYE step forward.

KARALORA: [nods] Hello, sir. I'm Karalora, this is Ironeye.

MAYOR: [beat] You don't hear names like "Ironeye" around these parts. Y'all get that from Transformers?

KARALORA: Well, sir, Ironeye - and Karalora, for that matter, are codenames. We don't want our real names getting around because of what some fictites might be able to do with them.

MAYOR: Ah, alright, then. You know, most of you five look a little young for this.

KARALORA: Yes, I know we probably don't look like much, but don't worry, sir, we'll get this done, I assure you. Oh, and there are six of us.

MAYOR: Six? Huh? [recounts] Oh, there's the other one. [to Cody] Sorry, son, I guess I missed you the first time around.

CODY: Don't worry about it; it happens.

MAYOR: So, shall we get down to business?

IRONEYE: Yes, definitely. Let's see: [speaking rapidly] about a few weeks ago, a poisonous haze started creeping into town from the swamp at night but recedes somewhat during the day, many people have gotten sick and a few have died, a large scaly creature of some kind has been spotted after dark near a lake to the west...oh, yes, and [reads from the pad] "certain metals are tarnishing faster than usual, leading to depreciation in property values". Did I miss anything?

Two-three beats while the MAYOR mentally catches up.

MAYOR: Ah...no, I do believe that pretty well covers it.

IRONEYE: Excellent. I'd like to interview the people who saw the creature—[rapidly interjecting] if it's not too much trouble, of course.

MAYOR: [taken aback] Uh, well, sure, I don't see why not. I'll round 'em up for you.

KARALORA: Okay, everyone, while Ironeye talks to the locals, let's gear up for a Grue Hunt, Krem Quay variation.

INT. TIGER TRUCK STOP – AFTERNOON

A radio is clearly visible on the counter. Near the radio but out of focus is a WAITRESS who is drying glasses with a towel.

NEWSCASTER [from radio]:..the panda was unharmed. The individual believed to be responsible for the destruction in [X town] [X amount of time ago] is still at large. Once again, anyone seeing an individual matching [description] is advised to leave the area immediately and inform [someone]. If you have any information regarding this case, please contact [Pvt. Carrera] on band 15.

HIKARI (O.S.): Please, could you turn that off?

WAITRESS comes into focus with the radio leaving focus.

WAITRESS: Oh, alright, hun. [reaches over and switches off the radio]

Pan over to HIKARI sitting at a table eating pie. He quickly finishes. WAITRESS walks over to HIKARI with a tray on which the check sits. The WAITRESS takes HIKARI's plate and hands him the check.

WAITRESS: You finished that up right quick. I take it it was pretty good then?

HIKARI: Yes, thank you! [looks at the bill and takes out some money and hands it to the WAITRESS] There sure are a lot of people out there. Is there some kind of... trouble?

CUT TO:

The TEAM and the MAYOR are meeting outside, as seen through the diner's windows.

CUT TO:

WAITRESS: Oh, yeah, that's the mayor and a couple of his aides... You might say there's been trouble lately. Those other folks must be the ones the mayor's buddy in Baton Rouge told him about who solve problems like we've been having.

HIKARI: Hmm? Problems? What kind of problems?

WAITRESS: There's a poisonous mist that comes up at night. [looks distraught] Killed the tigers we kept around.

HIKARI: [anxious] A mist that can kill tigers!? [suddenly realizing] Wait, tigers?

WAITRESS: Oh, yeah, they're what put this town on the map. Don't know what we'll do without 'em, unless we can get a new batch from somewhere. We don't even want to try until we can get rid of that monster or whatever it is, though.

HIKARI: [more excited than before, stands right up] A monster!?

WAITRESS: That's what folks are sayin'. Some kinda fictite monster. [HIKARI begins to stop paying attention] If you're plannin' on stayin' in town, you want to pick yourself up a germ mask to wear outside at night.

HIKARI: I see. [looking down] Hmmhmmhmmhmm.... It's time to get started! [Bird Runs out of the diner, knocking over a chair]

WAITRESS: [calling out to HIKARI] Hey! What? [beat] Well, it takes all kinds.

EXT. GROSSE TÊTE – EVENING

KARA is in the pickup truck, grabbing a mass of bullet-proof vests and a handgun which she promptly sticks into the holster on her belt.

KARA: OK team, protective gear on. I don't want to spend all day tomorrow fixing you guys up, so please try to stay out of trouble.

CODY takes a vest from KARA with a smirk.

CODY: Yeah. Like that’s going to happen.

CUT TO:

HIKARI looks through his backpack, and then takes out a black t-shirt.

CUT TO:

The TEAM is spaced out, some leaning, some sitting, clustered around IRONEYE, who is standing

IRONEYE: So, putting together everything I gathered from Mitch's report and from the residents here, what we're dealing with here is a giant monster, probably reptilian, almost certainly semi-aquatic or amphibious. I have one report that says it was a giant walrus, two that indicate something more like a dragon, and one that calls it a brontosaurus, although we should bear in mind that this one came from a six-year-old. One person said it had two heads. A few reported a flying snake. Other details include: large pointy teeth, huge claws, feet like a chicken, hooves, noxious footprints, eyes made of fire, the face of an old woman, the ability to hypnotize, a tendency to sing as it attacks its prey, a preference for small children, acid spit, and having more than a passing resemblance to Madonna. Now some of these details may be exaggerations from the minds of people who were not in a position to make the best of observations at the time, but it's a start.

CUT TO:

HIKARI dashes into down the road to the swamp, grinning.

CUT TO:

The TEAM is equiping themselves.

MATRIX: [puts up a hand] Nyaaa~... What about air masks or something? Wouldn’t that stop the poison?

MURKY: [examining her blade] We don't have any. I checked.

IRONEYE: No, but we've got these [holds up several surgical masks], which should be able to keep the particles out of our lungs. Just in case though, I don’t want us to be hanging around for too long. Anything could happen, so adapt to the situation.

CODY: [loading bullets into rifle] You mean make it up as we go along. [clicks it back into finished position] So, like every other plan.

ARKS: Well, it works, doesn’t it?

CUT TO:

HIKARI walks down the road through the forest, looking around intently. He coughs slightly, then pulls up the collar of his shirt over his nose.

CUT TO:

ARKS grabs a baseball bat from the back of the truck and swinging it slowly a few times.

ARKS: Yes, perfect.

KARA: [smiles, pokes arks on the side] We’re leaving now. I want us to be in the monster's territory by the time it's dark.

ARKS: [nods] Sure thing!

ARKS jumps into the drivers seat of the pickup and buckles up. He then inserts the key and starts the ignition. He sticks his head out of the window.

ARKS: Ready when you are, ma'am.

KARA: Gotcha. [to team behind] Come on guys, we're moving out!

EXT. SWAMP ROAD NEAR GROSSE TÊTE - NIGHT

HIKARI walks down a road through the swamp. He hears the sound of a car, steps into the trees, and shuts off his flashlight. The TEAM's pickup drives by. MATRIX and MURKY are in the bed, ARKS is driving, IRONEYE is in the front passenger seat, KARALORA and CODY are in the back passenger seats; MATRIX is acting as lookout from his vantage point while MURKY is tending to her naginata. A conversation is going on in the cab; IRONEYE is looking at a map. All are wearing the masks.

IRONEYE: Okay, arks, just keep going down the road.

ARKS: Well it's a straight road. There's nothing else to do. There aren't even any turns.

IRONEYE: I'm just letting you know the map doesn't show any turns either.

ARKS: I think I got this, Ironeye.

KARALORA: Both of you, cool it.

A few beats.

CODY: So... Koopa Troopas?

ARKS: Can't we just jump on them?

KARALORA: With or without wings?

CODY: No, arks, we're not Mario. And Kara, without wings.

ARKS: Oh, right, the ones with wings are called Koopa Paratroopas.

KARALORA: Right. I knew that.

IRONEYE: Well, the good news is, we'd only have to manage to jump on one of them.

ARKS: Maybe we could climb a ladder for the first one.

KARALORA: Like we'd just have a ladder.

ARKS: The truck, then.

IRONEYE: Wait...are we assuming a two-dimensional battlefield?

KARALORA: Are they really that big? I mean, now that they're here. I always think of, you know, turtles. [Holds her hands about two feet apart]

CODY: Well, they're as big as regular Mario. I'd think that he's the size of a normal human.

ARKS: Maybe we should try to find him for reference.

IRONEYE: We might also have to consider strategies based on what color they are. For instance, a blue one—

MATRIX: [yelling] Arks, watch out! The road's blocked!

ARKS pays attention to what's in front when MATRIX yells, looks surprised, pushes on the brakes; sudden squeak and squelch from the sudden stop. The truck skids and just barely misses ramming into the log in the way.

KARALORA: [to MATRIX and MURKY] You two okay back there?

MATRIX: [somewhat shaken] Nya...Uh... yeah...

MURKY: Yeah.

The TEAM gets out of the truck and takes a look at the huge log in their way.

MURKY: Well, this is inconvenient.

MATRIX: This is gonna mean more time in the swamp, isn't it? Bleh... All that water. I'm sticking to the trees.

MATRIX shifts into skitty form.

CODY: Would it be worth trying to shift this, or should we just walk the rest of the way?

IRONEYE: I don't think we could move this, even using the truck. This road isn't solid enough.

MATRIX is on top of the log and shifts back to catboy form.

MATRIX: Hey guys! Nya! Look! There's a path. Right in line with the tree! The monster must have knocked it over and just walked right over it. So, the top of the tree is pointing that way [points in the direction of the top of the fallen tree]...that means the monster must be that way too. Let's go! [shifts back into skitty form and takes to the trees]

EXT. SWAMP NEAR GROSSE-TÊTE - LATER

The TEAM walks through the swamp down a path made by a large creature; SKITTY!MATRIX jumping through the treetops above. Everyone except MATRIX carries a flashlight—CODY carries a large maglite; MURKY and IRONEYE are also wearing headlamps.

CODY: How much farther do we have to walk through all this mud?

KARALORA: Until we find the monster—or something that looks like its lair, so we can wait for it.

ARKS: What? We've only been going half a mile. A mile at most.

CODY: Shut up, arks.

IRONEYE: Hey Matrix, how's it going up there?

SKITTY!MATRIX: [meows inquisitively]

KARALORA: Do you see anything yet?

SKITTY!MATRIX: [meows negatively]

CUT TO:

HIKARI walks through the swamp. He comes up to the TEAM's truck, looks around for a bit, then notices the path through the trees.

CUT TO:

The TEAM is still walking through the swamp. There is a small stream in front of them.

CODY: It can't be much longer, can it?

SKITTY!MATRIX: [meows]

CODY: What was that, Matrix?

CUT TO:

SKITTY!MATRIX sniffs the air

CUT TO:

Shot from just behind SKITTY!MATRIX, aimed toward the rest of the team on the ground watching him as he continues to sniff.

IRONEYE: We must be getting pretty—

CUT TO:

Three-quarters right rear shot of the team as the HYDRA crashes out of the trees ahead of them to their left, roaring. One head snaps at MATRIX, who jumps out of harm's way.

KARALORA: Son of a bitch!

The TEAM scatters. MURKY and ARKS run in the general direction of the HYDRA. CODY goes to the side. IRONEYE and KARALORA fall back.

KARALORA: Keep moving! Don't present a stationary target! Watch out for the poison! Murky, concentrate on bladework! Cody, rear assault!

CODY: [moving around toward the HYDRA's back end] I always get the butt end of the monster!

MURKY is weaving through the heads trying to get to the body. She uses her naginata to alternately deflect and attack HYDRA heads.

ARKS has unsheathed his bat and is swinging at any head that gets close to him. He lands a hit on a couple of heads, then manages to shove the bat into the mouth of the third. As he is gloating, another head comes up behind him and bites him fiercely around the middle, lifting him into the air.

ARKS: [deadpan] Oh, goddammit! [starts poking the HYDRA in the eye]

MATRIX jumps on top of the HYDRA's back. He uses Assist and calls up Water Gun from MURKY, shooting a small stream of water from his mouth at the HYDRA, which is not very effective. After hissing in anger, he switches forms.

MATRIX: Damnit! Why couldn't I have gotten Overheat or something!? [deftly jumps on a HYDRA head and starts clawing at its eyes]

The HYDRA head that MATRIX is on flails around wildly as MATRIX claws at its eyes. Matrix jumps off the HYDRA's head; the camera focuses on a scratched-up eye and the blood around it starts to recede. The head emits a low growl.

CUT TO:

HIKARI is running down the path. The HYDRA roars in the background. He pauses to listen, then runs in its direction.

CUT TO:

KARALORA and IRONEYE. IRONEYE is in deep concentration. KARALORA is coaching him.

KARALORA: It's a total bastard, isn't it? It's hurting your friends. It killed the tigers in the town and—arks, on your right!—and it's making kids sick. It's just asking for a frozen head or five, isn't it?

IRONEYE: [growling] Got it! [Thrusts his hand out toward the HYDRA.]

The HYDRA's nearest head develops a coating of frost, while behind IRONEYE, the air wavers with heat and a few plants droop slightly.

KARALORA: That's it! Destroy it! Kill it! Rip it apart!

With a furious roar, IRONEYE repeats the gesture and the head freezes solid. ARKS rushes up ahead and whacks it a few times with the bat, shattering it.

ARKS: Piece of cake.

KARALORA: Nice hit. Ironeye, stay mad. If we can keep this up—

The flesh at the stump of neck begins to twitch, and two more heads begin to sprout up.

ARKS: What the fuck is this!?

The heads finish forming, and roar at ARKS. MURKY throws up an arm and a small burst of water flies at the HYDRA from the nearby stream.

KARALORA: Shit, it's a hydra! All right, everyone, re—

HIKARI (O.S.): Wind vector flight boosters, ENGAGE!

HIKARI bursts onto the scene, flying towards the HYDRA as though he was shot out of a cannon.

HIKARI: Prepare, foul beast!

CODY, surprised by HIKARI's arrival, is smacked by the HYDRA's tail and is knocked into a tree.

HIKARI slashes at the HYDRA with Razor Wind, slicing off a two heads. In its flailing, it knocks over a small tree, which falls next to Matrix. He is scratched by one of its branches. HIKARI slices off more heads.

HIKARI: In the name of the Light, thou shalt be defeated. Run away now, or I shall be forced to—

KARALORA: Somebody, STOP HIM! NOW!

MATRIX (O.S.): [faintly] OOOOOW! SHIT! OW! OW! OW! agh... help... ow..

MURKY whacks Hikari in the face with the blunt end of her naginata, and ARKS glomps him while he is stunned.

ARKS: Whoa boy. Hold on there. That's not a good idea.

HIKARI: H- huh? But I—

The HYDRA's remaining heads finish regrowing. CODY pulls himself to his feet, wincing—he's broken some ribs.

ARKS: Listen. Stay here, don't do ANYTHING. All right? Just let us handle this. [He rushes to rejoin the combat, and is promptly attacked by several heads.]

HIKARI: Oh. Uh... hmm... [He suddenly gets a determined look on his face.]

MATRIX (O.S.): [faintly] Guys! Ooooowww! I got hit by a treeeee! Guys? Kara? nnnh..

KARALORA: Okay, okay, okay. What do we—Cody, I'll take care of you in a minute!—Ahh... Murky, behind you! Umm... Fire! Fire! Right! Fire! Ironeye, get us fire! We need it fast! That hydra is the most horrific creature to ever live! All it does is kill. It just wants to kill everything! It's evil, Ironeye! Evil! It must be eliminated! Burned to ashes! Ironeye! Now! Give us fire, give us fire!

Throughout, the wind has been steadily increasing in force. HIKARI is shown, concentrating to keep the wind blowing.

HIKARI: Please! Everyone... stand back!

HIKARI shouts a battle cry and charges forward, running beneath the HYDRA. Everyone looks. A light begins to emanate from him, slowly expanding into a ball of light that obliterates the HYDRA. DEMON!HIKARI looks around, then, satisfied, approaches the TEAM.

DEMON!HIKARI: Where do you stand?

CODY: What?

DEMON!HIKARI: I said "Where do you stand?" Can we work together or shall I have to kill you? [beat] Well, I'll let you live. For now. [retreats]

HIKARI [suddenly shaky on his feet]: So... not bad, eh?

FADE OUT

EXT. SWAMP NEAR GROSSE TÊTE - LATER

KARALORA is healing CODY

KARALORA: Doesn't seem too bad, just a couple minor fractures. I'll probably be able to finish knitting them over the next few days. But take it easy the rest of today, all right?

MATRIX: Nyaa! I need healing too, Kara! See? [shows the minor cut on his arm that isn't even bleeding]

KARALORA looks at MATRIX like ಠ_ಠ

MATRIX looks down in shame

CUT TO:

HIKARI is sitting with his back against a tree stump. MURKY and ARKS are standing guard near him.

HIKARI: Hey, uh, maybe you could let me go? Really, it's okay. I'll be good!

ARKS: Sorry, bud, but until Kara says so, you're staying right here.

MURKY: No talking.

KARALORA: [finished healing CODY, walks over to where HIKARI is] Well, now what are we going to do with you?

HIKARI [sincerely]: Isn't it obvious? Let me join your team, of course!

CUT TO:

The TEAM is in a huddle near the edge of the destruction caused by the Wind of Light. HIKARI is waiting just outside of the huddle.

KARA: We can't let this guy be part of the team.

HIKARI (O.S.): What? But why!?

CODY: But we can't let him roam free out here. Who knows what he might do?

KARA: You've got a point there.

MATRIX: Why can't we take him along? His power's cool.

KARA: We don't know if he can control it. He's a hazard.

ARKS: Is he a fictite?

HIKARI (O.S.): Of course not!

MURKY: Does it matter?

ARKS: Well it might change how we deal with him.

HIKARI (O.S.): I'm not a fictite!

IRONEYE: So can anyone think of a fictional character that fits his description?

Short pause while the various members think.

CODY: I'm drawing a blank.

HIKARI (O.S.): Me too!

MATRIX: Me too. See? He's fine.

KARA: Well, let's keep in mind the possibility that he may be fictional, but assume for now that he's human.

IRONEYE: I'd like to study his abilities a bit under controlled conditions—it might provide valuable information.

MATRIX: Plus can you imagine what I could do with wind powers?

CODY: Use the wrong power more often?

KARA: I guess our best course of action is to take him with us. At least then we can keep an eye on him.

CODY: We'd have to restrain him of course. What kind of restraints to we have back in the RV? Rope, handcuffs, anything like that?

Everyone turns to look at IRONEYE.

IRONEYE: What are you looking at me for?

ARKS: Considering his powers, we might have to keep him in a box. Probably one made of steel, or lead. Something like that.

MATRIX: You wouldn't be able to find a lead box large enough to fit a person inside!

IRONEYE: Well, if we find an abandoned foundry, I could heat up some sheet metal and we could create a box ourselves. And then we could—

KARA: I don't think that's practical.

ARKS and IRONEYE look dejected.

MURKY: This is too much effort.

CUT TO:

HIKARI is watching the huddle.

MURKY: Let's just kill him.

HIKARI: Wait, what!?

CUT TO:

The TEAM is still huddled.

KARA: No. We aren't murderers.

MURKY: With that ability of his, he could level cities. Probably already has.

CUT TO:

HIKARI cringes in the middle of saying something.

MURKY: It's better this way.

CUT TO:

The TEAM is still huddling.

IRONEYE: We're keeping him alive—I can't learn anything from him if he's dead. Besides, I can always kill him later.

CODY: Ironeye has a point: we don't know anything about him. Is he good or evil, and if he's good, is his method of doing good practical for this world?

HIKARI (O.S.): I- I'm good! I know I'm good.

CODY: If it's not, then we can kill him.

KARA: We are not killing him!

ARKS: We could just incapacitate him, you know. A quick hit to the back of the head, leave him in the middle of nowhere.

MURKY: Maybe then the environment will kill him.

HIKARI (O.S.) Why does this conversation keep on returning to my death?

Cody: [to Hikari] Will you please shut up? This doesn't concern you.

HIKARI (O.S.): How does this not concern me!?

The camera shifts to focusing on HIKARI. He turns to look behind him (at the camera/back where the HYDRA was) and gets a worried look on his face.

MATRIX: Of course it concerns him! You're talking about his death!

HIKARI: [a little nervous] Uhh, excuse me...

CODY: No it doesn't. He doesn't have any say in what we choose.

HIKARI: [more nervous] Um, guys?

ARKS: But, I mean. What we do choose does have a large effect on what happens to him.

IRONEYE: [absentmindedly] Well, if you think about the meaning of the word "concern"...

HIKARI: [agitated] Guys?

KARA: Must every conversation derail into semantics? Let's get back on topic.

HIKARI [yelling] Guys!

KARA: [exasperated] What?

HIKARI: [pointing] I think that monster thing is still alive....

IRONEYE: We told you before, it's called a hydra.

HIKARI: Okay, fine! The hydra is still alive!

MATRIX: Really? [looks] Guys! It is!

CUT TO:

The HYDRA slowly rises up again. It seems that it has grown more heads and is fully grown. It looks down at the group, and lets out a loud angry growl.

CUT TO:

The TEAM looks up and goes into defensive positions.

MURKY: Well, that didn't last long.

KARALORA: [points at HIKARI] You! Don't do anything! Cody, stop him if he does, but don't put any strain on those ribs.

HIKARI: Hey! I can help!

CODY: No, you can't.

CODY pulls HIKARI over to the side, away from the others. IRONEYE follows.

ARKS runs in front of the HYDRA. The HYDRA bats ARKS with a foot, sending him flying to the side. ARKS immediately gets up and jumps back in front of the HYDRA. MATRIX uses Assist and calls up Iron Defense from ARKS, giving himself a metallic sheen and raising his defensive capabilities sharply.

SKITTY!MATRIX: [meows angrily at ARKS, goes to help ARKS distract the HYDRA]

KARALORA: Let's see. How was it done again? [thinks] Right. Ironeye! Time to make like Hercules! Sear the necks shut after Murky chops the heads off!

IRONEYE: I can't keep the heat on a moving target long enough to cauterize the wounds!

MURKY:Better idea— heat the blade instead. 'S faster that way.

IRONEYE: You sure about that?

MURKY: Trust me.

IRONEYE directs his hand to MURKY'S naginata. The blade starts to glow orange with heat. MURKY then dodges a head and slashes it off.

HIKARI: Whoa! Why is it so cold all of a sudden?

IRONEYE: [trying to feel as much hate as possible] The heat has to come from somewhere, kid.

ARKS: [stops to think for a bit] Hmm. [Gets bitten by one of the heads and has to fight it off]

MURKY: [reheating her blade at the moment] Pay attention, arks.

MATRIX uses Assist again, this time calling up Razor Wind from HIKARI. He charges the move up.

ARKS: [just freed himself from the head. returns to the defensive position] I was just thinking. Why does it have to be the neck? Why not go for the eyes or the chin instead? [he misses a swing and a head grabs his arm. After freeing his arm, he whacks the head with his bat, readjusts his grip, then stabs his bat through the HYDRA's eye]

KARALORA: Because we know the neck works.

MATRIX fires his Razor Wind at the HYDRA. He cuts the a head clean off, except there was no cauterization, so two new heads grow back.

HIKARI: Hey! That's— Ahh! No! I didn't do it!

MURKY with orange blade goes for the next neck. The neck is cleanly cut in two, and the head falls to the ground.

SKITTY!MATRIX: [meows fearfully and runs away]

The HYDRA is growling at MURKY, slowly walking around before giving a loud bark of poison breath at MURKY. MURKY charges at it, and it pulls back.

MURKY: [watching the HYDRA warily] It senses a threat. Smart monster.

CODY: Great. Just great. What are we going to do now?

MURKY: Have to trick it, I suppose.

IRONEYE (O.S.): Hey!

ARKS turns to look at IRONEYE. MURKY continues staring down the HYDRA

CUT TO:

IRONEYE is holding his bolo knife in his hands.

CUT TO:

ARKS thinks a bit, realizes, then turns to MURKY.

ARKS: Circle around.

ARKS moves to the HYDRA's right, MURKY to the HYDRA's left, while IRONEYE walks forward, heating his own blade. The HYDRA tries to follow each of the two main combatants with a head, but has to settle for watching MURKY once they are on opposite sides of it.

IRONEYE nods at ARKS, who climbs up the HYDRA's back and jumps onto one of its heads. IRONEYE rushes forward and chops at the corresponding neck with the bolo knife.

The HYDRA's other head swings from looking at MURKY and darts towards IRONEYE, who jumps backward to avoid its fangs. He scrambles away from the head, reaching his hand out toward MURKY, heating her naginata. Just before he is out of reach, his heel catches on a root and he falls on his ass. As the HYDRA prepares to strike, MURKY's heated blade slices into the neck.

MURKY turns to the head that ARKS has pinning and finishes the decapitation, then helps ARKS to his feet.

ARKS: Heh, I'd like to know if Heracles could have done that well.

CODY: Do you mean Hercules?

ARKS: Who?

The HYDRA HEAD next to ARKS clamps down on his leg.

ARKS: You'd think it'd have learned by now.

EXT. SWAMP - LATER

The TROPERS are cleaning up the area. KARALORA is looking over the group. HIKARI has a shovel and is shoveling dirt on top of the HYDRA HEAD. IRONEYE walks by and uses a pair of tongs to dip a stoppered vial full of a red liquid in the stream. He then wipes off the vial with a cloth and puts it in a padded case.

HIKARI: Tell me again why I have to do all this.

IRONEYE: [smirking] You're the one who was so eager to help us out. [two beats] Here, I'll finish up for you.

IRONEYE takes the shovel from HIKARI and continues shoveling dirt on the head. ARKS and MURKY enter, dragging a large rock on a make-shift sled. They then dump the rock on top of the HYDRA HEAD. KARALORA enters the shot.

KARALORA: [to Hikari] Listen, you can come along and we won't do anything too nasty to you as long as you follow orders and promise not to use your powers unless one of us explicitly tells you to. If you break this promise, Ironeye gets to have his way with you.

HIKARI: [glances over at IRONEYE] [to KARALORA] I'll behave!

THE TEAM starts walking back toward their truck.

END CREDITS

EXT. SWAMP - MUCH LATER

CLOSE UP of rock over HYDRA HEAD. A pair of furred feet enter from the top of the screen and land on the rock. These belong to a FLYING MONKEY.

END

edited 15th Feb '10 10:59:25 PM by Ironeye

First off, apologies, my net cut out halfway through. Second, that's one awesome rough draft.

I'm not going to be back until late tonight. If you guys end up working, here is an etherpad with the most recent draft.

I've been working on the panel boarding. My drawing is...no. However when it comes to the shots, the angles, the gaps we choose, when the dialogue is meant to fit in - basically what we would call the direction- that I've been working on. At the moment, due to, of all things, my lack of an eraser, I've been slowed a bit in the drawing and have only gotten to the Justice League Shot.

Oh, excellent!

Yeah, I look forward to seeing what they look like.

OK so my scanners not working, I did something special for the city destructions and redid the first batch out of embarassment. So when I go in to work tommorrrow (because working on a Saturday is cool) I'll use the scanners there to copy them in and then upload them.

I put it in 16:9 to make it distinct from the more square comic panel and fit designs of the higher end of TV screen to give that connection to an actual TV show. I work on the principle that nothing can be guaranteed to be animated but there are a few opening where it could be a small piece of work for the animator, one segment on a still background. I'll also provide more detailed description to go next to it including notes of sound effects placements that I've been making as going along.

Excellent!

Hey, Sooty, how are the storyboards going?

Well I have to confess I've been behind recently. I tell you what, I'll just upload what I've done so far so then you can evaluate it and maybe see if something could be switched over. Really, it should be a quicker process than this. I mean if I got drunk and laid tonight and then woke up tomorrow totally refreshed then I could get you all of it, sans consideration for the future.

Any volunteers?

No, well, I'll just try a gin and tonic and a Playboy and see what I do. If I find I manage to do another whole act then maybe it's not a problem, if not we'll see about some help perhaps.

I do have stuff though so from tomorrow you could possible get an artist to actually draw the good stuff.

Yeah, we really need to get ourselves some artists...

Any word on the storyboards?

Here's a link to a presentation on the opening- be warned, only ten downloads.

Then the next act. There's a few extra scenes at the end to help alter timing.

I have a bit more into the next scene and I have notes on all the shots and transitions and alterations, even music ideas however these will go into some form of presentation that can be more permanent. At the moment, I was just getting frustrated with the time it took to get these on here.

If we run out of downloads, let me know and I'll upload them somewhere else.

Of course I can just spiel about the frames now.

Now the opening is missing London. Er...well...hmm...I did have this idea where you just a view from a Thames bridge so that you can catch an iconic skyline and then characters run up the bridge and cover the screen but the shot was similar to New York and really frakkin' hard.

Now we start with Hollywood, this shot is physically impossible, unlike the others, but screw it. Those are a bunch of boutiques along the other side of the road. We zoom into the Hollywood sign, crack appears, zoom out to Ninja, zoom out to Ninja vs Pirate, zoom out (with some drift) to full screen.

Tokyo we start on the left bottom, sound effect occurs and we have the second shot of Character 1 Leaping Left, then Character 2 Jumping Right, back to street (incl. green bits) + pan right then pan up. We see character 1 and 2, we reveal the Mecha, we see Tetsuo, above him there should be something but I don't know enough anime, then we get up to the top and see Godzilla. He roars.

Now maybe some fire breath effect could be done so that it bursts out at the screen, either fully animated or in stages. It may actually be more stylistic if you had this flame burst pattern that was identical but just scaled in size to get the "travelling towards the audience" effect. Or maybe we just leave that. Either way, the roar effect stays until the wide aerial shot of the city, then get cut off and we get a Tokyo Fireball. Potential spot for an animated expanding sphere of light here.

Next, Vancouver. Hey, it's Vancouver Library Square!. Ground level wide shot, pan up. Rift appears, Jumanji stampede spills out and that's vines on the building and an elephant on the left. Pan down. We see the Jaffa about to fight the elephant and the Toasters are meant to be Cylons but I can't drawn Cylons.

Now New York is very nearly actually a view you can have from a bridge around Roosevelt Island. You can see the Crysler building, behind that the Empire State Building, as well as the Slanty one and the really tall black penis one. Rift and King Kong, Gargoyles castle plops down on penis (note also the appearance of planes attacking Kong). Stay Puft Marshmellow man appears; Eyeball from Watchmen, giant squid, squid decides to make some Smores.

Act 2 perhaps need the explanation more. I left out the title screen because I have no idea what it would look like.

Wide shot of the town, we pan across and see the swamp and the gas. Now the town is far away but the swamp is close and extends to the horizon. So that thing that looks like a big Y is a hollow tree and on the ground by it is a open bit of water with a crocodile poking out of it.

I think the writing might be small on the next bits but we have Aide 1 on the left when they are looking out. On the next one I amnoting that the Mayor has his palms down when they are on his waist (as opposed to flat on his side, it's a "manly" thing) and Aide 1 is looking at his watch. They are at "Buck's Diner". (Wow, I was so full of originality). By all rights I should have really thought of some cute pun with the name. Perhaps the diner has a male deer as an emblem.

The dialogue isn't on there but the first two lines from Aide 1 and the mayor are on the single shot of the two of them and then each character gets a line with each mid shot. Then the van comes along the road (excuse the lack of the pick up in my drawings, I just wanted to get the positioning across). Now for this, perhaps a bit chessily, I imagined Battle Without Honor Or Humility playing and I did make the frames to be timed for an editing of it so that the Cool Ass Paint Job shot would appear when the "Duh dur DU!" happens and then the second one happens on the Justice League Shot.

I have extra frames to help adjust it and also a second, less obvious, music choice of "Spoonful" by Cream which has a trippy bluesy vibe which would need more editing than BWHOH.

Accidental spare frame after the Justice League Shot. That's Karalora with the bag and Ironeye. I think I have the relative heights right.

Now after that, I think is the most confusing point without the dialogue. I did think maybe to change somethings too. The handshake:"Hello, sir. I'm Karalora, this is Ironeye." The face is the Mayor going "You don't hear names like "Ironeye" around these parts.". The goofy smile: Y'all get that from Transformers?. Then Karalora's line. The dialogue stays on that shot but with a mouth movement for the second time Karalora speaks.

Then the shot of the group is : "...Oh, and there are six of us." "Six? Huh? [recounts] Oh, there's the other one.". Then we have the exact same shot (which is why it's blank) but with cody's head popping out from behind Arks' (on the front left) shoulder. Dialogue: "Sorry, son, I guess I missed you the first time around." and Cody's response.

Now here's a change I thought we needed: we insert "My nephew Shitfuck Asshole (or whatever you want to call him) can help you fellas unload your van." (low "Hey" from Shitfuck asshole). And that's the shot of Aide 1 putting on his hat. Then the shot of the Mayor and Karalora and Ironeye is the Mayor saying "Meanwhile I can take you inside and get you up to speed on all the details".

The Mayor saying that he will get them up to speed will make Ironeye's total inclusion of detail now funnier. The next shot is him getting his pocket book and saying "Yes, definitely. Let's see...". Then the head down shot is him talking more rapidly with " We know about a few weeks ago, a poisonous haze".

During the spiel we go from Ironeye to S Hocked Mayor face and back and forth. The green writing is meant to be the details. Then the abashed major's face saying "Ah...no, I do believe that pretty well covers it." Then each character's dialogue matches to each panel until the scene ends.

I did have this thought for Ironeye that the next few long winded spiels would always have everyone's reaction shots, sort of a running gag, but when it focused on the tropers themselves they would always look bored because they actually know some of what he is saying already and because they are so used to him doing this. Locals would look shocked by the length. The moments when they get focuses on their faces could end up seeming very foreshadowy. Like imagine that if, during the next exposition bit from Ironeye, we got a close up of Murky's face looking slightly less emotionless when he says "a preference for small children". Perhaps some people will think maybe she has a soft spot for children, is there some history there, I don't know, this is the sort of shit Ironeye loves to figure out!

I do have stuff on the next scene but I went over it and actually took the view to break with the script. The dialogue is all the same, I just changed from the shots described. We would have a starting shot on the radio and then it would pan across a diner's serving table, you can see the waitress working but you are at hand level, until you get to Hikari's back next to a plate of eaten pie. Then a side shot of his arm and below should torso. Then a shot of his face. All meant to be timed in to match up with what the radio says and when it provides his description.

You know, it would be great if you could discuss script changes when we're actually working on the script. (It'd also be great if you actually read the entire script, but that's another matter.)

Sooty, here's the thing. The Episode 1 script is the product of weeks of meticulous collaborative work. We can't just toss out lines and stage direction in favor of one person's suggestions. All your proposed changes are neutral at best, and at worst completely spoil the effect we were going for.

In the future, please stick to the script when storyboarding. Or at least discuss possible changes with the writing team first.

Well, IF I can discuss a eword with the collaborating team, can I submit my Troper character in as well? Please PM me with da details.