Superhero/Detective show

I came up with a premise for an interesting TV drama. Tell me what you think.

Six days ago, mysterious cosmic rays washed over a small area in the Midwestern United States. Approximately five percent of the population in the area were granted bizarre superpowers. Quickly, the federal government instituted a Super Registration Act, which went along relatively smoothly. However, some are afraid of signing up to the act, some view it as a violation of their privacy, and some are using their powers for malevolent means. To combat the third, a police department in a small town set up the SIIA (Superpowered Individuals Investigation Agency), which remains a secret to those outside the police so it can more easily combat villainous individuals. The current members of SIIA include:

• Jennifer Ashton, lead detective. Relatively normal, but used to be a reporter and has a lot of connections in the media. Remains cool-headed in a crisis.
• "Bloodhound", the lead arresting officer. The only superpowered member of SIIA, he has the ability to track anyone he knows the name and face of. He tends to be uptight, but he's very serious about his job.
• Dr. Schonbrenner, forensics expert. Often views tough cases as a challenge to him. Is obsessed with magnifying glasses and has an artificial leg.
• Johnny Johnson, behavioral analyst. Quirky and confrontational, but doesn't know how to hold himself in a fight.

I can post the plot summary of the pilot later if you want.

Sounds cool. One hypothetical question: What would they do with someone who's broken the rules more in a 'kid with too much power and not enough guidance' sort of way than an actively villainous way? Kind of like Molly in Dresden Files.

They'd probably sentence that person to counseling and training instead of actual jail time.

Interesting. Please post the pilot summary.

And don't forget that some idiots like to put on capes and fight crime, powered or not.

Sounds interesting. I remember reading someone pointing out that there are so many weird ways to commit a crime in a superhero universe; after all, why just murder a person when you can travel back in time and kill their father so they never exist?

Pilot:

The pilot begins with a Cold Open showing a high school senior going to his car from basketball practice in the heavy rain. A mysterious figure wearing a plastic knight helmet ambushes him and, as the student swings a punch, the knight appears to melt right into the puddles of water that have formed around the parking lot. The student is knocked out and the knight pulls out a small needle...

The scene cuts to a few days later, showing the members of SIIA in front of a board with all the evidence posted. The victim's school's basketball team doesn't announce their practice outside of the high school, which means the culprit belonged to the school. The student from the opening also had half of what appears to be a fairy tale carved into his right arm in a florid script. After considering handwriting analysis and realizing that this kind of script could be written voluntarily, Jennifer discovers a small group of LAR Pers that, as an entry requirement, make each member learn how to write in the exact same florid script. SIIA cross-references the members of the LARP group with the members of the school and find an English teacher, a British transfer student, and a female sophomore all attend the group regularly but did not show up the night of the attack. That night, as it rains again, another senior is attacked and the second half of the fairy tale carved on his left arm.

After the incident, SIIA investigates and discovers that the teacher had an iron-clad alibi for the night of the crime, leaving the transfer student and the sophomore girl. They interview the two and discover some things about both students, notably that the sophomore, who is often picked on at school, has a friend who protects her at all times. Although the perpetrator is still unknow, Johnny decides that the transfer student had no motive to attack the seniors and asks to continue to interview the sophomore. After a long time spent prodding, the girl reveals that she was attracted to another girl in the senior class but, when that girl promised to meet her in a certain location, a player on the basketball team decided to prevent the sophomore from going, having his two friends hold her arms while he punched her repeatedly. With this, Johnny decides that the girl was the only one who had the means and motive, so he asks that a watch be put on her.

The scene cuts to a car pulling into a driveway in the rain. As the jock mentioned above steps out with the senior girl (it's implied to be the jock's house), the perpetrator, nicknamed the Black Knight, steps out of the water, brandishing a knife this time instead of a needle. As the jock attempts to attack him, it quickly turns into a Curb-Stomp Battle, but as the jock is about to be stabbed, Bloodhound tackles the Black Knight, who manages to squirm away and disappear into a water puddle. SIIA quickly begins the investigation, knowing that they have a perpetrator with the ability to teleport through water. Johnny figures out who the culprit is and Bloodhound manages to track him down to his house, where he attempts to teleport away using a spilled bottle of water, but is arrested before he can move. It turns out to be the best friend of the sophomore girl, who became her Failure Knight after witnessing the incident and being unable to help. As the show wraps up, the sophomore girl asks one of the members of SIIA what she would do now, and the member replies "We're not here to help you. We're here to help the city."

Interesting. And kinda depressing. But I'd still watch it.

Is there any humor in this thing? There should be, even if it's black comedy.

Yeah. For example:

• Bloodhound: My name's Bloodhound. I have the ability to track people.
• Johnny: Using those infrared goggles you're wearing?
• Bloodhound: No, those are just red-tinted lenses.
• Johnny: Um...
• Bloodhound: Gotta look the part, you know.

Cool. Extremely heavy too, and would probably give us many an Family-Unfriendly Aesop. What would you say is your demographic for this would be series?

Edit: I'm probably using the wrong terminology, but what i mean to say was, very very cruel lessons to be learned.

edited 14th Sep '09 9:56:57 PM by Schitzo

I wasn't really thinking about a demographic when I wrote the pilot...who do you think I should try to aim it at?

That depends on what you're putting emphasis on. From the looks of that pilot, your minor/ single episode characters may have as much personality as the members of SIIA. You'll probably have several Anti Villians and Mauve Shirts, and as a result, many characters can become Ensemble Darkhorses.

Before I answer your question, tell me: what do you want to put emphasis on?

The super element (whereas supers affected by the Super Registration Act face tropes such as The Evils of Free Will)

or the Detective element (Whereas you can let the viewer spend more time getting to know the SIIA)?

edited 14th Sep '09 10:55:09 PM by Schitzo

Most likely the latter.

Maybe your demographic should be "People who hang around coffee shops with names like 'The Cyberpunk Cafe'".

But that's just a wild stab in the dark. I don't really know what themes your series would explore or the like.

Edit: I really hate it when i google something only to hear that cool names have already been taken. I've always wanted to give my band the name of "The Battledykes"

edited 15th Sep '09 8:39:05 AM by Schitzo

My dad once suggested Void Where Prohibited.

And then after we had all finished watching the the ending to Berserk a year or two ago, i suggested my friend's death metal band should call themselves "Demon Orgy".

Apparently, there's a website where you can check if someone had taken that name or not. which is frustrating, because really, what's one shocking name over another?

But back on topic. Will you keep us posted on this project?

edited 15th Sep '09 8:58:58 AM by Schitzo

I'll consider it. I wasn't planning on writing the script immediately (I have some sketch comedy that actually has a deadline), so I'm not sure what to do with it.

Bumping this so I don't lose what I wrote down.

I have some more ideas for this, I might write them down here eventually.

Bump again. I have some good ideas here and don't want to lose them.