Lovely Legilimens
> While jamming, look out the window as you approach your destination and hope that there aren't any Karens lining up outside.
"I just want what everyone else has, that's all."
The Wanderer
> While jamming, look out the window as you approach your destination and hope that there aren't any Karens lining up outside.
You roll up to the Walgreens, scouting the area for entitled middle-aged people to potentially terrorize. Not a Karen or Daren in sight. Shit, and just when you thought your day was looking up...
The two of you get out of the car. "Again," Eden reminds you, "there are better options than Walgreens right around you..." She heads into Walgreens anyway, presumably to pick up her estrogen prescription, leaving you to reconsider your options.
The Walgreens was only one of many stores located along the Blake Street Strip Mall. There were plenty of other stores you could find a gift from, including:
- Style Commission, a clothing store that specialized in trendy women's fashion and inexpensive jewelry.
- Regina's Book Barn, a locally-owned book store. They were currently holding a clearance sale.
- The Game Hut, a shop that sold video games, both new and old.
- Conway Records, a music store that stocked plenty of indie stuff.
- Good Greetings, a chain store that sold greeting cards and other unconventional trinkets. They also stocked wrapping paper and gift bags, so they were worth checking out regardless of wherever you got your gift from.
Maybe you should do as Eden implied and reconsider your options...
- Current Time: 9:37 AM
- Current Goals:
- Go to Mitch Fuller's house and learn his hacker ways.
- Buy Sabrina a Christmas present from a store in the Blake Street strip mall.
- Current Inventory: Phone, Wallet, Notepad and Pen, Screwdriver, Phone Charging Cable, Protein Bar (birthday cake flavor), Rust Buckets concert ticket
- Funds: $28.00 (loose change), however much is left on your credit card
[input command]
Edited by Pogakure on Mar 21st 2024 at 8:28:36 AM
BREAKING: Scaramouche Reportedly Caught Doing the Fandango
> Stare into the sun
Try out my new forum game! Man this formating is hard.
Lovely Legilimens
> You know better than to blind yourself, go to the bookstore to grab a bargain gift.
Edited by TroperNo9001 on Mar 21st 2024 at 8:03:47 PM
"I just want what everyone else has, that's all."
The Wanderer
> Stare into the sun
You stare directly into the sun, contemplating the meaning of life and how you got here for a good minute. The sun isn't nearly as blinding as you wish it would be.
> You know better than to blind yourself, go to the bookstore to grab a bargain gift.
Regina's Book Barn wasn't the biggest store in the world; that was to be expected of a sole proprietorship. It did have a wide variety of books on display, from recent releases to old classics. The books were separated by genre, as any good bookstore ought to do.
You walked up to the main counter, where Regina Wakeman, the store's owner, was tending to some business on a computer. It was pretty rare to see Regina herself at the main checkout counter. Usually when you came in, she was tending to the shelves. To her left was a big sign that read, "Holiday CLEARANCE Sale! Up to 40% Off select books!"
"Good morning! How can I help you today?"
"Yeah, uh... I'm looking for a gift for my cousin, thought I'd look for something here."
"Oh, that's wonderful! What kind of books are they interested in?"
That's a good question. What kind of books would Sabrina be into? You didn't really know, mainly because you didn't really care...
- Current Time: 9:40 AM
- Current Goals:
- Go to Mitch Fuller's house and learn his hacker ways.
- Buy Sabrina a Christmas present from Regina's Book Barn.
- Current Inventory: Phone, Wallet, Notepad and Pen, Screwdriver, Phone Charging Cable, Protein Bar (birthday cake flavor), Rust Buckets concert ticket
- Funds: $28.00 (loose change), however much is left on your credit card
[input dialogue]
BREAKING: Scaramouche Reportedly Caught Doing the Fandango
Lovely Legilimens
> Just get the cheapest book on sale. Better than nothing.
"I just want what everyone else has, that's all."
The Wanderer
> Just get the cheapest book on sale. Better than nothing.
"Uhhh.... Where are your biggest bargains at?"
"The most you can get off a book is 40 percent of it's original price. Those sales will be found in the Sci-Fi, Romance, Horror and Non-Fiction sections."
"Great, thanks." At least you know where to start looking...
[input command]
BREAKING: Scaramouche Reportedly Caught Doing the Fandango
The Pride of Nazumah
> Go to the sci-fi aisle and see what’s there.
Better to fight, than to live in fear.
The Wanderer
> Go to the sci-fi aisle and see what’s there.
You make a beeline for the sci-fi section (or more specifically, their 40% Clearance section). Eyeing the books, there was a shockingly large selection of stuff on clearance. Schlocky Planetary Romances, Grandiose War Epics, Nerdy Action Comedies, Alien Horror, and Dune. Lots of Dune. Like, a concerning amount of Dune. Bet they dove headfirst into the Dune Part One hype train back in 2021 and bought more copies than they could sell.
[input command]
BREAKING: Scaramouche Reportedly Caught Doing the Fandango
The Pride of Nazumah
> Buy a romance novel and vandalize the Dune books.
Better to fight, than to live in fear.
Neptunia Ichiban
>Get the cheesiest-looking action comedy
shouldn't his favorite genre be RPG and not point and click though
The Wanderer
>Get the cheesiest-looking action comedy
You pick one of the action comedies off the shelf. It was called The Dork of House Fyodor and its description read as follows:
Cedric Fillmore is a sheltered geek fascinated by science fiction, dreaming of a day when he can be whisked away to the outer reaches of space on a galactic journey of his own. Cedric's wishes start to come true in a twisted way when representatives of the House of Fyodor visit him on Earth and, mistaking him for the Duke of Fyodor's recently escaped son Codrin, oust him from the safety of his home and take him to the planet of Villick, where House Fyodor resides. Cedric has now assumed the role of handling diplomatic affairs in a conflict he knows nothing about aside from the fact that it involves Chesinium, a mineral that people are willing to go to war to get their hands on. Assuming a nobleman's robes, Cedric gets to live out the life of a noble with all of its splendors. His human morals clash with those of the House of Fyodor, though, and as the Chesinium conflict unfolds into a full on interplanetary war, the stakes could not be higher! Will Cedric be able to adapt to his newfound responsibilities, and how will he react to meeting the man he's been forced to impersonate?
Witty and entertaining from start to finish, The Dork of House Fyodor is author Lance Barnes' biggest adventure yet!
Oh yeah, this book. It was all over the internet a few years ago. Pretty sure there was a movie adaptation in the works, wonder if that's in development hell...
You hold onto the book for now. You had no clue if Sabrina would like this stuff (Lance Barnes' writing style kinda annoyed you, personally) but it was worth a shot.
The Dork of House Fyodor's price was marked $17.99 on the back, which, adding on the 40% Clearance value, came down to $10.79. Not too shabby.
> Buy a romance novel and vandalize the Dune books.
One romance novel in particular caught your attention. It was called The Trap: A Deadly Romance, and the cover featured a man being coddled by a giant Venus Flytrap. You didn't even have to look at the blurb on the back to pick it up, not to give to Sabrina, but to satiate your personal desire to find out what plant sex scenes lay between its covers.
After grabbing the two books, you shoved each copy of Dune off the shelf one by one until they formed a pile on the floor. Dune was mid. Frank Hebert should've seen this coming.
- Current Time: 9:47 AM
- Current Goals:
- Go to Mitch Fuller's house and learn his hacker ways.
- Buy Sabrina a Christmas present from Regina's Book Barn
- Current Inventory: Phone, Wallet, Notepad and Pen, Screwdriver, Phone Charging Cable, Protein Bar (birthday cake flavor), Rust Buckets concert ticket, The Dork of House Fyodor, The Trap
- Funds: $28.00 (loose change), however much is left on your credit card
[input command]
Edited by Pogakure on Mar 21st 2024 at 1:55:38 PM
BREAKING: Scaramouche Reportedly Caught Doing the Fandango
Lovely Legilimens
> Check the price of the romance novel before considering checking it out for yourself. Don't wanna go overbudget even with the discount.
"I just want what everyone else has, that's all."
badly drawn in MS Paint
>Shoplift a copy of Dune
The Wanderer
> Check the price of the romance novel before considering checking it out for yourself. Don't wanna go overbudget even with the discount.
You turned over The Trap in search of a price. There was none. The back had a barcode and some reviews that were absolutely A.I-generated, but no price. Something felt off, but you brushed it off. You'd find out the price when you rang it up, anyways.
>Shoplift a copy of Dune.
Making sure that the coast was clear, you lifted a copy from the Dune pile and slid it down the back of your coat. Regina wouldn't notice... right?
- Current Time: 9:48 AM
- Current Goals:
- Go to Mitch Fuller's house and learn his hacker ways.
- Buy Sabrina a Christmas present from Regina's Book Barn
- Current Inventory: Phone, Wallet, Notepad and Pen, Screwdriver, Phone Charging Cable, Protein Bar (birthday cake flavor), Rust Buckets concert ticket, The Dork of House Fyodor, The Trap, Dune (shoplifted)
- Funds: $28.00 (loose change), however much is left on your credit card
[input command]
BREAKING: Scaramouche Reportedly Caught Doing the Fandango
Lovely Legilimens
> To the checkout counter!
"I just want what everyone else has, that's all."
The Wanderer
> To the checkout counter!
You take the books to the checkout counter and place them (sans Dune) in front of Regina. She scans The Trap first, and it registers on the computer at $9.99. Was that the sale price? You hoped so. The Dork of Fyodor comes next.
"And your total comes down to $20.78. Will that be cash or card?"
[input command/dialogue]
Edited by Pogakure on Mar 22nd 2024 at 6:56:02 AM
BREAKING: Scaramouche Reportedly Caught Doing the Fandango
Lovely Legilimens
> Credit. While it's within your cash budget, you might need it for someone who accepts only that. Besides, you should have enough in your card... right?
Edited by TroperNo9001 on Mar 22nd 2024 at 10:20:30 PM
"I just want what everyone else has, that's all."
The Wanderer
> Credit. While it's within your cash budget, you might need it for someone who accepts only that. Besides, you should have enough in your card... right?
You whip out your credit card and hand it to Regina. Things go as normal; she rings up your books and puts them in a bag. She doesn't even ask before giving you a gift receipt, almost as if she knows Sabrina's gonna want to return the book you got her.
As you grabbed your bag and headed out, Regina immediately went back to do more computer work, which meant that she paid no attention to the comically Dune-shaped lump in the back of your coat. So far, so good.
You had about two hours before Mitch was free to help you hack. Should have plenty of time to do some more shopping...
- Current Time: 9:52 AM
- Current Goals:
- Go to Mitch Fuller's house and learn his hacker ways.
- Browse the Blake Street strip mall.
- Current Inventory: Phone, Wallet, Notepad and Pen, Screwdriver, Phone Charging Cable, Protein Bar (birthday cake flavor), Rust Buckets concert ticket, The Dork of House Fyodor, The Trap, Dune (shoplifted)
- Funds: $28.00 (loose change), however much is left on your credit card
[input command]
BREAKING: Scaramouche Reportedly Caught Doing the Fandango
Lovely Legilimens
> Go to Good Greetings to get wrapping paper.
"I just want what everyone else has, that's all."
The Wanderer
> Go to Good Greetings to get wrapping paper.
Good Greetings was a store where the middle class mom thrived. Like Hallmark, most of their deal was greeting cards and ornaments, but they also sold piggy banks, lawn gnomes, mugs, statues and other ceramic... entities that only cat ladies could enjoy. Carol, this location's franchisee, was somehow stranger than any of the merchandise on display. A little old lady, her thick perscription glasses clipped onto her vest with ornate beaded strings and shiny brown hair made her look wise and ancient, but also about as fragile and uncanny as the figures they sold.
"Hello, Michael! My, you're looking awfully festive today! I take it you're here to buy a Christmas present?"
"I need wrapping paper." The less time spent talking to this lady, the better.
"You'll find it with the Christmas cards, chum!" Carol pointed to the northwest corner of the store. Her saccharine smile filling you with dread, you hurried over there as fast as you could.
- Current Time: 9:55 AM
- Current Goals:
- Go to Mitch Fuller's house and learn his hacker ways.
- Buy wrapping paper from Good Greetings.
- Current Inventory: Phone, Wallet, Notepad and Pen, Screwdriver, Phone Charging Cable, Protein Bar (birthday cake flavor), Rust Buckets concert ticket, The Dork of House Fyodor, The Trap, Dune (shoplifted)
- Funds: $28.00 (loose change), however much is left on your credit card
[input command]
BREAKING: Scaramouche Reportedly Caught Doing the Fandango
Lovely Legilimens
> Snag the first wrapping paper you see, get a form-letter Christmas card, and break the ceramics before paying up. "You break it, you buy it"? Pshhhh, You're sure your credit card can cover that!
Edited by TroperNo9001 on Mar 24th 2024 at 2:13:12 AM
"I just want what everyone else has, that's all."
The Wanderer
> Snag the first wrapping paper you see, get a form-letter Christmas card, and break the ceramics before paying up. "You break it, you buy it"? Pshhhh, You're sure your credit card can cover that!
You reach for the first roll of wrapping paper that catches your eye: the ugliest green dotted with red flowers. As you grab the roll, a hand touches yours. You turn to look at who the hand belongs to, and a middle-aged woman catches your eye.
"I take it you want this one?"
[input command/dialogue]
BREAKING: Scaramouche Reportedly Caught Doing the Fandango
Everybody, Everybody!
> Wave your finger in front of her and go "Tsk tsk tsk."
Everybody loves the me! I’m a great athlete!
> Ask her to play a Rust Buckets song to get pumped for both the concert and the drive to Walgreens.
You pull your phone out of your pocket. "Pass me the aux."
"It's in the console. Here." Eden pushes a button on the main audio console, which causes a compartment to open. In the compartment is a white aux cord, which you hook up to your phone. "You better not play trash."
You open The Rust Buckets' "essentials" playlist on Spotify and hit shuffle. The first song that plays is "I Want You In My Basement", one of their more controversial mainstream hits.
"Y'know, it's crazy to me that of all the songs off their self-titled they could've released as their lead single, they chose the song about a guy locking a chick in his basement. I look up to that kinda audacity."
"I heard this song on the radio yesterday."
"No shit!"
"I'm serious! It wasn't just any version of the song, though... it was an EDM remix!"
"EWWWW!!! Who let them get away with that!?!?"
"I dunno, but they should be drawn and quartered!"
You loved laughing with Eden about these sorts of things. Being able to share your music tastes with someone like her shone a light down the otherwise dark hallway known as seasonal depression.
You are now three minutes away from Walgreens.
[input command/dialogue]
BREAKING: Scaramouche Reportedly Caught Doing the Fandango