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Roll To Dodge 5: AKA I Shouldn't Legally Be Allowed To DM Anything

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JTTWlover Flower power from Chinese Heaven Relationship Status: Shipping fictional characters
Flower power
May 21st 2020 at 12:46:35 AM

>Munch a small piece of Liquorice root and adjust my cape (again).

If thereís a book you want to read, but it hasnít been written yet, then you must write it. Toni Morrison
Myskywarm Dipper and Pacifica being cute from Ee-arth Relationship Status: Wishing you were here
GoldenCityBird Day 143 from the UK
Day 143
May 21st 2020 at 12:58:53 AM

>Help AF's character investigate the corpses.

Edited by GoldenCityBird on May 21st 2020 at 9:02:41 AM

Was the sound of distant drumming...
JTTWlover Flower power from Chinese Heaven Relationship Status: Shipping fictional characters
Flower power
May 21st 2020 at 2:44:05 AM

>Explore the town

If thereís a book you want to read, but it hasnít been written yet, then you must write it. Toni Morrison
TacoBadger Well, itís a badger, thatís for sure from either behind you or Albuquerque Relationship Status: The Skitty to my Wailord
Well, itís a badger, thatís for sure
May 21st 2020 at 2:44:52 AM

>Try to spark conversation with any of the other party members with ďMan, sure is a tragedy huh?Ē

Huzzah
WillyFourEyes Fake American from I'm not telling! Relationship Status: Mu
May 21st 2020 at 3:15:27 AM

>Write on my Enchanted Scroll: "Detect Evil" and cast it on the corpses, then brace for combat should any of them rise up to attack us.

TabbyGirl4 Beta Kokichi except not from The Nowhere Islands Relationship Status: watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ
Beta Kokichi except not
May 21st 2020 at 3:35:05 AM

>Piss on the corpses

Edited by TabbyGirl4 on May 21st 2020 at 6:38:38 AM

"I'm Mary Poppins, Y'all!" - Yondu,2017 | My Discord Server
AutisticAlivia Back to my Author Avatar now from Everywhere on TV Tropes Relationship Status: Desperate
Back to my Author Avatar now
May 21st 2020 at 4:31:47 AM

> Look at the corpses and ask "Who are those people"?

Insert Backyardigans song here, also, go watch Annoying Orange
Afterwards the cake is an alternative fact from Where Nothing Gathers Relationship Status: He makes me feel like I have a heart
the cake is an alternative fact
May 21st 2020 at 5:40:48 AM

"Yeah," I say to Taco's character whose name and class I don't remember. "It's a fucking massacre."

>Try to play a little tune to lift everyone's spirits, hopefully uninterrupted this time.

Edited by Afterwards on May 21st 2020 at 8:44:44 AM

A full course meal on the Holy Night! The last supper, Ultima Cena!
unfortunatezorua dRY from despacito spaghett ugandan chungus Relationship Status: watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ
dRY
May 22nd 2020 at 3:12:38 AM

TURN 11

>Check the corpses. Look for wounds, time of death, personal belongings, etc

You rolled a: 5

Upon getting closer, you discover that the jumbles of vaguely body-shaped limbs on the ground aren't human corpses, but...wildlife?

None of them have any open wounds, but you recognise the necrotic damage that's eaten away at their carcassesóit looks exactly like the injury the rogue suffered the other day. They appear to have died very late last night or early this morning, before you arrived. (It's around 6 AM.)

Interestingly, they all have strange sigils on their bodies.

>Look at the corpses and ask "Who are those people?"

More like "who are those animals". Either way, you're not sure where they came from; they don't look native to the area at all.

Grizzly bears, elk, snow hares...none of which you'd ever find in a humid backwoods swamp.

>Prepare some sort of bait
>Help AF's character investigate the corpses

You rolled a: 1

You figure there must be a corpse thief around here somewhere, to explain away all the strange disappearances, so you decide to leave a trap to catch them in the act.

You cast an illusion of a dead body and wait. Unfortunately, this does nothing. And you didn't find the thief, but instead baited the mummy intoó(drumroll)óaccidentally searching your illusion instead of the real corpses, wasting the action.

Task failed successfully?

>Munch a small piece of Liquorice root and adjust my cape (again)
>Explore the town

You rolled a: 3

Snacking on some provisions from your bag, you wander around the town absentmindedly. If there's anything that needs investigating here, you'll come across it. Somehow. Probably. Eh, it's not like you've got any better ideas.

You've just reached the residential area when your vision suddenly blacks out and you feel a hand clap over your mouth from behind.

>Try to spark conversation with any of the other party members with ďMan, sure is a tragedy huh?Ē

The bard, who hasn't been introduced to you and apparently doesn't remember that you're a druid, responds in kind.

Nobody seems to be reacting much to said massacre.

>Try to play a little tune to lift everyone's spirits, hopefully uninterrupted this time

You rolled a: 3 + 1 Skill bonus = 4

Right now the ranger is...busy somewhere else, thankfully. You pick another song and succeed this time.

+1 damage to the party's successful hits for 3 turns.

>Piss on the corpses

You rolled a: 3

You...you...(sigh). Fine. You, in all your embodiment of pure chaos and I don't-know-how-many-brain-cells-there-are-up-there-but-they-must-be-lonely have a sudden desire to piss on the evidence, for no reason in particular. So you head over to one of the corpses, a facedown one whose features you can't make out but that looks similar to a dead bear, and prepare to defile this whole mystery.

Unfortunately for you, the DM doesn't like their campaign getting derailed and decides to have it jump up to try to murder you.

Roll for Damage: 5
Roll for Necrotic Damage: 3
Your roll to defend: 2 (FAIL)
Total Damage: 8

You are bitchslapped across the street by an undead bodach. It's an unlikely thing to happen, sure, but hey I never thought I would write out a sentence like that in my life and yet here we are.

1/10 HP remaining.

>Write on my Enchanted Scroll: "Detect Evil" and cast it on the corpses, then brace for combat should any of them rise up to attack us

You rolled a: 4 + 1 Skill bonus = 5

Congratulations, you have big brain. On casting the spell, you can see that there are 5 undead in your radius. One of them just yeeted the ranger to oblivion, as a matter of fact, but the others seem to be staying put and still look like regular corpses.

Well, from here on out, you have a decision to makeómaintain the spell on what you detected or focus it on one specific undead to get more details, or drop the spell entirely and use a different action? Your choice.

Enchanted Scroll: Detect Evil added to inventory.

You have prompted an attack of opportunity. You now have 1 free combat action alongside your regular action.

>Bless the corpses

You rolled a: 6

Honestly, with the results of your rolls, at this point you're more fit to be a paladin than an actual one. You kneel next to one of the bodies and say a prayer over its passing, then lay your hands on it as a blessing.

You admit you didn't really expect it to start wailing in agony at that.

Screeching incomprehensibly as it lunges upwards, the corpse seizes you by the wristsóand only howls even louder when it makes contact with you, the divine energy having scorched its flesh. You notice up close that it isn't a piece of roadkill, but some kind of wraith-like creature cloaked in rags.

You are grappled. You can use your action to attempt to break free.

no
TacoBadger Well, itís a badger, thatís for sure from either behind you or Albuquerque Relationship Status: The Skitty to my Wailord
Well, itís a badger, thatís for sure
May 22nd 2020 at 3:17:29 AM

>Summon a strikedown on the corpse which is grappling Abarron

Edited by TacoBadger on May 22nd 2020 at 5:22:08 AM

Huzzah
TabbyGirl4 Beta Kokichi except not from The Nowhere Islands Relationship Status: watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ
Beta Kokichi except not
May 22nd 2020 at 3:18:23 AM

>Ask to be Healed

>Shoot the Corpses with your longbow

Edited by TabbyGirl4 on May 22nd 2020 at 11:01:24 AM

"I'm Mary Poppins, Y'all!" - Yondu,2017 | My Discord Server
Baisteach wEt from Traverse Town Relationship Status: Cigarettes and Valentines
wEt
May 22nd 2020 at 3:22:17 AM

> Whip out my prayer charms and papercut the shit out that bitch

Edited by Baisteach on May 22nd 2020 at 3:26:11 AM

Tristeza n„o tem fim. / Felicidade sim.
Myskywarm Dipper and Pacifica being cute from Ee-arth Relationship Status: Wishing you were here
Dipper and Pacifica being cute
May 22nd 2020 at 3:25:49 AM

> Cast Mage Hand on a corpse and slam them into another corpse

Edited by Myskywarm on May 22nd 2020 at 6:26:35 PM

Why do we only realize our sins, when everything has come to an end...?
JTTWlover Flower power from Chinese Heaven Relationship Status: Shipping fictional characters
Flower power
May 22nd 2020 at 3:26:50 AM

>If I can, try to hit and see what held me.

Tabby, doodo brain, Floor is being held by someone.

Edited by JTTWlover on May 22nd 2020 at 12:27:31 PM

If thereís a book you want to read, but it hasnít been written yet, then you must write it. Toni Morrison
ArmoredFury soppo & woppo from exile
soppo & woppo
May 22nd 2020 at 3:32:39 AM

>I erect a Barrier of Flames between Tabitha and the undead before running towards her, intent on smacking her in the face with my freshly-summoned bardiche.

"Stay put, Ranger!"

Edited by ArmoredFury on May 22nd 2020 at 5:37:54 PM

Leaving this world is not as scary as it sounds.
GoldenCityBird Day 143 from the UK
Day 143
May 22nd 2020 at 3:40:48 AM

>Fend off the undead animals with my quarterstaff

Edited by GoldenCityBird on May 22nd 2020 at 11:46:50 AM

Was the sound of distant drumming...
Afterwards the cake is an alternative fact from Where Nothing Gathers Relationship Status: He makes me feel like I have a heart
the cake is an alternative fact
May 22nd 2020 at 6:04:57 AM

>Whip out my sword and strike at the undead grappling the rogue.

A full course meal on the Holy Night! The last supper, Ultima Cena!
WillyFourEyes Fake American from I'm not telling! Relationship Status: Mu
May 22nd 2020 at 6:19:16 AM

Well, from here on out, you have a decision to makeómaintain the spell on what you detected or focus it on one specific undead to get more details, or drop the spell entirely and use a different action? Your choice.

>Keep the spell focused on the undead who attacked the ranger, and retaliate. The others didn't get up, so fortunately we should only have one, if unnaturally strong, opponent to deal with for now.

TabbyGirl4 Beta Kokichi except not from The Nowhere Islands Relationship Status: watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ
Beta Kokichi except not
May 22nd 2020 at 8:01:40 AM

Fixed,sorry

"I'm Mary Poppins, Y'all!" - Yondu,2017 | My Discord Server
medievalParadox "In the arena of logic, I fight unarmed!" from any device that can get onto the internet Relationship Status: Yes, I'm alone, but I'm alone and free
"In the arena of logic, I fight unarmed!"
May 22nd 2020 at 3:36:52 PM

> Shield bash the undead that slapped the shit out of the ranger.

Here's a Godmodder. Please Kill him before he fucks up everything. https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/posts.php?discussion=15527074470A62989200
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