GET THAT PIZZA!

"oh no, rocks are falling! roll for agility."

Madface succeeds in the roll, only for Awe to blast a cap onto Madface's, well..

face.

awe then runs off with the pizza.

Unfortunately Awe is stabbed in the back by Superjohn, who steals the pizza and hijacks a Taxi.

Edited by Superjohn on Sep 22nd 2020 at 8:19:15 AM

Florien and Florian are nearby.

I know he's in a taxi, but I still want to try the Cessna plan.

Oh, fine. I have the keys, let's go.

Five minutes later, a Cessna rams into the taxi, killing Superjohn. Florien grabs the Pizza, realizes the parachute they brought was completely pointless considering the highest jump is about two feet, and instead gets into Florian's rental car. They drive off with the Pizza, but...

Foreman, now a cop, writes him a ticket for ramming a taxi, it's price is exactly 1 pizza

While most if not all of the ai empire is dead it still has left me with an atlas super freighter allowing me to scavenge enough supplies to begin transport of the ultimate weapon. The genesis project. A massive gravitational device to make planets repurposed to collapse a planet into its self to explode and melt it. The mess of green machinery docks on to earth a couple days later and is activated as earth is crushed Back into an asteroid field and the pizza destroyed along with it. (It’s a natural step from a in game item)

As soon as the pizza is destroyed, Nine-Tailed Cats pop into existence from each of the previously-erased timelines. One of them happens to still have the pizza from that timeline, and he makes his way to his own personal planet while the others cover his retreat.

Unfortunately, that Nine Tailed Cat is from another universe. In this universe, his personal planet is the location of Alliance Base Admin Six. However, no hostility is met, as Florien and Florian aren't there. However, a human female dressed in a tan, stereotypical Banana Republic Dictator looking uniform is.

Ah, there's a so-called pursuer. Have you seen my Social Media Manager? About Yea high, looks almost human but not quite? They keep calling in Alliance forces without my authorization, and Director S keeps authorizing it over my head. Don't know what's wrong with S, that stupid shrub. We've lost thousands of soldiers, and an Exterminator station. You have the Pizza? Good, good. Oh, by the way, the name is Director Tenyssen, and you can feel free to forget it. You're just bait to lure my truant Social Media Manager back.

That's when the hostility starts. Nine Tailed Cat is thrown into a cell with the Pizza, and sure enough, Florien and Florian show up to pick up the Pizza not ten minutes later. However, Florian and Florien grab the Pizza and escape before Tenyssen gets ahold of them.

DAMN IT! Well, you're no use to me now. You're free to go Mr... Nine Tailed Cat. Huh. Odd name. No matter. Bye!

Risdio decides to not only bump the thread, but also sets Florien aflame. He then tries to burn the pizza to a crisp...

But Whistle turns back time and kicks Risdio aside, bursting out of his skin and swishing the pizza for herself.

Suddenly, a hail of arrows perforates Whistle! Robin appears from the shadows and retrieves the pizza box before it falls to the ground and prepares to nyoom to another dimension...

When Florien and Florian show up right by the dimensional portal, blocking the way through. Florien speaks.

We've called in a one-time favor. We've got The Man helping us.

And we all know The Man keeps people down.

Robin is tackled to the ground by The Man, and The Man keeps Robin down while Florien and Florian take the Pizza. Florien and Florian then hide out in a chocolate factory in Belgium.

Edited by Florien on Sep 25th 2020 at 4:04:28 AM

Wm, dressed in punk getup, throws a brick at The Man, kicking off a riot. Smaller than last time, but still a riot. While the rioters cause general chaos, Wm takes a small band of fellow punks to pursue the Florie/ans. They collectively overpower the Florie/ans and take the pizza before running off.

Unfortunately in this universe Foreman is head of both SCP and 🌙🌙🌙 using both their resources he takes the pizza from WM

Nine-Tailed Cat inputs a cheat code for extra resources several times until he has enough to research the "instantaneous pizza theft" technology, which he promptly does. He then recruits a force of chariot archers to protect the pizza from his opponents.

And then Florien steps in, Florian close behind. Florien is known for their Civilization skills. They immediately pick Babylon and win by repeatedly throwing Mechanized Infantry at Nine Tailed Cat's Civ, which only has Pikemen at that point. Florien claims the Pizza, gets into a limousine driven by Florian, and they drive to go receive their awards for being intensely cheap at Civilization.

Superjohn jumps on top of the limousine, impaling Florien through his head with a sword. When Florian gets out of the limousine to check, John decapitates him, then takes off with the pizza, jumping on top of a Taxi.

Edited by Superjohn on Sep 26th 2020 at 6:54:46 AM

...which Route is also on top of.

“Oi, get your own taxi!” he shouts, grabbing the pizza and shoving Superjohn off. Route himself jumps off once he ends up in the middle of nowhere.

Edited by Routeferret on Sep 26th 2020 at 1:00:14 PM

Guma stands on a tall mountain in nowhere and declares, “If I can’t have this pizza, no one can!”

They throw the Phantom Ruby on the ground, shattering it into a million pieces.

Reality instantly breaks, becoming a gltchy mess. As Routeferret disappear into the void, Guma clips into the pizza, finally satisfied with themself.

Oh no. Not another universe.

Indeed, this Pizza brings only destruction. Entertaining destruction.

Yes. A universal positive, if you don't count everyone not pursuing it, and their repeated deaths, which I don't.

Florien and Florian escape the breaking universe, and pop into a new one right next to where Guma is located in the new one, which happens to be a bank. Florien and Florian immediately start a hostage crisis by pulling out guns and robbing the bank. They release Guma as a show of good faith once the SWAT team shows up, but they keep the Pizza in the bank with the rest of the hostages.

Actually, let's really rob this bank.

Federal crime? Sounds great. Let's proceed.

Florien and Florian then proceed to continue to rob the bank, instead of sneaking out back with the Pizza. This was a mistake, because...

Superjohn lures them into the vault, then it's hip to be square plays over their screams. Superjohn leaves the vault with the pizza, leaving a puddle of blood behind him. He then hijacks a police helicopter and flies out of the city.

Edited by Superjohn on Sep 26th 2020 at 7:34:38 AM

Nine-Tailed Cat shows up in a fighter jet, intercepts Superjohn's helicopter and shoots it down. He then attempts to bail out and grab the pizza, but hits his own plane on the way down and is immediately killed. While he's respawning, the pizza falls into the hands of...

The only problem is that this universe ai faction is playing endless space 2 and as such reintegrated and assimilates the entire population of earth back into the fucking ground. The pizza is promptly tossed into the nearest black hole for disposal and to preserve the ai empire.

Five seconds after the attempted destruction of the Pizza via black hole, the black hole instantly decays via all the hawking radiation it would emit over its lifetime occurring all at once. The outpouring of energy is the fourth largest in the history of the universe, only beaten by two high-mass neutron star collisions and the big bang itself. The entire AI fleet is converted into low density plasma by the blast. The Pizza, however, flies back at earth at very close to light speed. It hits the air, converting it to plasma at first, as it falls. The fireball can be seen across the world. The control of the AI fleet over earth is broken, due to the fact there is no AI fleet left. Florien and Florian, who had nothing to do with the quantum fluctuation that caused that instant decay, are hailed as heroes for saving the world, and are presented with the Pizza, a Fields medal, and a Nobel Peace prize, despite having done nothing to deserve any of them. Florien and Florian then go to attend a very fancy party in their honor, but then...

Florian is suddenly shot in the head.

[MEET THE SNIPER]

Cut to Route, reloading a sniper rifle and proceeding to shoot Florien from another country. Literally.

For some inexplicable reason, this causes the pizza to fly across the world and into his hands.

“Oh, result!” He then begins making his getaway via camper van.

The camper van is then hit by Nine-Tailed Cat's abandoned plane. As Route recovers from the crash, Nine-Tailed Cat rushes in and grabs the pizza, then takes cover in an old shed.