Hunger Games Simulation: Beyond the Possibilities

And Yuuko's already out. Dangit.

Aaaand now the shapeshifting constable and Bajoran military officer have been unceremoniously killed by a poorly-drawn circle with an eyepatch, of all tributes, before they could make up for my last tribute's demise. What an unexpected and out-of-left-field outcome that no one could've seen coming. I am ever so angry and filled with despair.

Hehe, you said despair. (shot)

Anyway, the fact that Triple-Inverted 4th Place went to space at the Bloodbath rules out Polandball being that tribute because it cannot into space. Also since their fingers were chopped off by Goldberg, that also rules out any of the fingerless tributes alive so far. And now we know that they can deliver speeches and put themself up in a fight. I might be wrong tho.

Also, I rolled for the nom school Shadow graduated from, and it's... the Hero School?!

Edited by TroperNo9001 on Mar 31st 2023 at 3:39:30 AM

lol fuhio got another kill

Bowser really wanted get healed, but he picked the worst possible option. Poor guy.

Aw, man, I missed Fred's death. I assume Faruzan shot him in the leg for old time's sake.

Night 2◊

• "That 3DS just sent Adu Du zipping away to... I don't know what that place is, but I wouldn't want to go there! Don't worry; he came back all right."
• The Wii U hugs Elesh Norn without hands somehow, then experiences electrical flatulence.
• "The zipper to creep-land again? This time it's the road sending the crash test dummy there! You know, that's actually pretty fitting!"
• Well, Espio's officially lost it. Now he's running around babbling while throwing ketchup everywhere.
• "That's a very loose definition of 'book report', but you do you, Vance! Was it a good movie?"
• Ristar's parents have been deceiving him all along.
• The Saurian Augur gives Quark acupuncture. Given his mystical powers, it may actually work.
• "Aww, Snotty's just a real sweetheart!"
• Powerglide gives Warmaster23rat a hug as thanks for nominating him. How nice!
• "No regrets, Shadow! Taste is better than waste!"
• Flain-kun is last seen fleeing from Goldberg. While he returns, she never does.
• Blanc's upset that Joka's stolen a whole zero kills from her, and the two get into an duel that ultimately resolves nothing.
• Poor Danny. He can't even cry while eating ice cream since the fridge took all of it with it.
• "Khan's getting an educational meal! I wonder if that trick works with non-alphabetic languages? Someone should invent pictograph soup!"
• "Ooh, a ruins expedition! I love those! Not as much as fossil digs, but you can find so many cool artefacts!"
• Male 07 is reminded of Half-Life 2's events by the Games. Phyllis is unimpressed.
• "Hey, can we get a technician down to Polandball?"
• Aaaaand President Snow's dead again. "And Louis is giving Jake his place! From running the season to running for President, huh?"
• Altaria refuses to give the Family Guy Quartet any JoJo spoilers.
• Persephone can't help but post about Palafin's antics on social media. "I mean, we're kind of doing the same thing here, right, boss? Can't blame her!"
• Headdy notes Popka's success. Let's hope he doesn't decide to feeds us all dog.
• Jin-Gitaxias doesn't believe Bowser's warnings about Arthur. Considering Arthur's luck so far, it's a bit hard to blame him.
• "You're not getting away from the slumber party that easily, Valmar's Tongue!"
• "And Mio gets Faruzan to do her victory dance for her! Well done!"
• Well, Jibanyan, you'd better hope that fourth-placer is a good artist.
• Dory's telling Ciaphas Cain all about the wonders of the undersea world.
• I mean, the Black Space is a Dark Side, so Kazui's probably on to something here.

Day 3◊

• No milk pool for the Family Guy Quartet, unfortunately.
• "Talk about false advertising! We kill a lot more than 47 people a season these days!"
• Shadow and Male 07 play Catch the Bomb, only it turns out not to be a bomb.
• Espio's given Dory way more than she asked for. "Well, look at it this way: At least he didn't buy the entire chain!"
• And the dates are weaponising Magical Girls. As if they haven't done enough ethically dubious things already so far...
• "We've got a stab rampage! That foul-mouthed Black Space has just cut down Huckleberry Hound, Fuhio and Mio!"
• Caloundra Road is disappointed by Bowser's lack of knives. "Maybe it has to do with what just happened above!"
• Ciaphas Cain's latest film is a hit with Elesh Norn. I expect she approves of how the Imperium is run.
• Okay, Blanc, first you complain about kill-stealing, then you try to force someone to kill for you? Anyway, Jin-Gitaxias refuses to blow up the 3DS, so she has to do it herself.
• Joka's playing Khan in a new JoJo fandub, stealing another 0 kills from Blanc in the process.
• "Persephone's a cookie thief! A dastardly cookie thief! Louis has proof!"
• Polandball's previous technical difficulties were bad enough to require a rescue helicopter. Yikes.
• Faruzan briefly turns Snotty into another Faruzan.
• "Chip the glasses and crack the plates! Blunt the knives and bend the forks! That's what Danny Johnson hates! Smash the bottles and burn the corks! ...Oh, hey, it still fits the meter!"
• The crash test dummy brings up Headdy's past sins.
• Popka has just caught Goldberg in disguise as the mysterious tribute whose fingers he chopped off. Odd choice.
• "PUNCH! PUNCH! PUNCH! PUNCH! PUNCH! Adu Du's neutral run has taken out Jazz, the New World Order, Palafin, Vance, and Jibanyan! Wow, what a slaughter!"
• "I've heard of getting songs stuck in your head, but not heads stuck in a song! There goes Valmar's Tongue!"
• Phyllis just narrowly escaped that monster... aaaaand she falls to her death. Well, she tried.
• Quark's cooking skills take a rather lateral turn.
• "A gold star from a gold star! How fitting! Good effort, Altaria!"
• "And Chaka clears out the clouds for the Wii U! But can he do the Rainboom too?"

Fallen Tributes◊

• The fallen: Flain-kun; Huckleberry Hound; fuhio kuzru; Mio; 3DS; Jazz; N.W.O.; Palafin; Vance Motherfucking Stubbs; Jibanyan; Valmar's Tongue; Phyllis
• Nominators out: Ozbourne; Dghcrh; Bluethorn; kablammin45; Myskywarm
• Tributes remaining: 39/82

Less than half the tributes remain. This is getting intense.

Edited by NineTailedCat on Mar 30th 2023 at 1:09:56 AM

I'm starting to think Adu's neutral run is actually a genocide run.

Oof, one of my tributes are out

Anyway, at least both of my tribs each got into movie events, while that Spongebob event happened twice. Also, the personification of Nintendo destroying a Nintendo product is ironic

beep boop polandball is experiencing technical difficulties please stand by

Well that was several days well spent. Melanie, who are are my next tributes?

Okay... which of the tributes alive this update is an artist? Asking because that's what the Triple-Inverted 4th Placer is. But that brings up another question... who exactly did Goldberg disguise as?

Man... Blanc (personification of the Wii, and to some extent later Nintendo consoles too) asking someone to kill the 3DS?

Damn, Danny got rejected and is getting pissed off? I'd say 'poor guy' but he is a murderer.

Among the franchises from Level-5 I'm a fan of, I had much better luck with Inazuma Eleven tributes than Yo-kai Watch tributes. At least tell me Jibanyan got 41st place. That's the minimum to be in the higher half of the ranking.

Bowser getting "medical aid" from Jin-Gitaxias...

oh god

phyrexian bowser

Flain-kun! Noooooooooooooo...!

Espio, you idiot!

Noooo there goes fuhio :(

Night 3◊

• "And the Crash Test Dummy finds the answer to the Buttered Goldberg Paradox! Wait, he isn't a cat..."
• Makes sense if those are noise-cancelling headphones. The arena can be get pretty loud.
• "It certainly did, Joka! Chaka's just destroyed an entire road!"
• Elesh Norn finds out that Louis doesn't want his employees messing with the thermostat.
• See, you people making "47 tributes die each season" posters? They only come to harm later; it's fine.
• Wait, am I seeing this right? How does a fish drown? "I can explain, boss! See, blue tang are saltwater fish, so in rivers and other freshwater bodies, they absorb too much water through osmosis and die! Guess that's it for Dory and Male 07, huh?"
• Snotty is haunted in dreams by his evil doppelganger and his kills (or lack thereof).
• Polandball is keeping half a pickle as a pet. Interesting choice.
• The dates use their Blue Attack on the fourth-placer, who apparently knows how to platform.
• "What a wild fishing trip! Can someone catch that pterosaur for me? I've always wanted to study one up close!"
• The Augur, seemingly having learned from Bowser's mistake, turns to someone other than the Phyrexians for medical treatment. Unfortunately, Adu Du's practices aren't much better.
• "Kinda bug and kinda snak ~ Try to catch them in your trap ~ Feed somebody and you'll see ~ We are whatever we eat!" Yes, thank you, Cassandra. Let's hope Bowser's finishing Danny's quest.
• "Someone's got a problem with the letter B! Lucky Blanc wasn't at camp at the time, or she'd be vanished too!"
• The most intellectual of the Praetor's can't even get Altaria's quiz questions right. Oof.
• Persephone is getting the Leather Pants treatment. Given what Kira and Odo thought of her, it's understandable.
• "Hey, hey, calm down, boys! It's not worth arguing over! Besides, that's obviously a C-file Shadow's got!"
• "The Family Guy Quartet have beaten the clock! What are they going to do next? Maybe they could put it on a hover-drone to make time fly!"
• "Wow, Quark, that's almost as weird as the tadpole chewing wax I once saw!"
• Faruzan's serum has removed Espio's knowledge of morality. This won't end well.
• Ristar thinks his parents deserve Powerglide's insults. That's what they get for lying to him, I suppose.
• "That's some weird advice, isn't it, Morgan? Which Jedi? Some are more worthless than others, you know!"
• Demeter picks up a skill that's bound to be relevant later.

Day 4◊

• "For the honour of Greyskull! Bowser's taken up mugging, with Ciaphas Cain as his first victim!"
• "Is that the kind of time paradox you were talking about, boss?" No, nothing that bad. Espio's just going to go hungry after eating.
• The Wii U suffers a titanic misfortune and goes down with the iceberg. "Wii'll stay forever this way ~ U are safe in my heart and my heart will go on and on..."
• Altaria's decided to ruin Danny's life, and in doing so becomes him for a bit.
• "Close call! It's tough to dig out of wet sand, but Quark's managed to avoid drowning! Better luck next time, Arthur and fourth-placer!"
• "Ooh, that's a cool tree fort, Chaka!"
• Polandball has a nice, peaceful nap without getting invaded for once.
• Black Space, the dates, Goldberg, and Morgan listen to the last messages of our dear departed Wii U. Seems the deceased had some rather nasty things to say about them.
• "Adu Du's being murderously 'neutral' again! Persephone's lucky to get away with just losing an ear!"
• Well, well, Khan's just drowned the Chosen of Panem. I guess I'll just get my next batch of tributes ready. "Not yet, boss! We still have a season to host!"
• "Convenient how 'kazui soa' is exactly five syllables! You can get a whole line out of it!"
• Powerglide's fried Perinpelaizer with psychic waves, with some side effects. Oh dear, that can't be good for the Arena.
• Faruzan takes her computer "freezing" a bit too literally.
• A little creature forces the harvest goddess and the blue Praetor to settle their differences lest they and a bunch of others are trapped forever. Bit extreme, but you do what you have to.
• "Joka's actually stolen a kill! Guess this arena wasn't too safe for Popka, huh?"
• Headdy gets slimed because he couldn't answer Elesh Norn's questions. Who could, though?
• Blanc's caught Shadow trying to break the laws of thermodynamics. "Better watch yourself, Shadow! The thermodynamics cooler is at absolute zero!"
• Louis is down. He came so far only to fail a quicktime event. How humiliating.

Arena Event◊!

• We see strong performances from Kazui, the Crash Test Dummy, Powerglide, Headdy, Khan, Chaka, Arthur, and Joka, who prevail against the Peacekeeper teams.
• The Peacekeepers are no pushovers, though. They've pulled Goldberg, Danny, Altaria, the fourth-place finisher, Persephone, and Espio off the platforms to their deaths. "Wait, Altaria? Can't it fly? How did it forget it can fly?!"
• Blank Space, the Family Guy Quartet, and the Dates leverage their numbers advantage to send Snotty, Blanc, and Quark plunging to their doom.
• "Another 'neutral run' casualty! Adu Du yanks Morgan right off the platform!"
• "And that skill Demeter learned must have been rope-pulling! She and Faruzan team up to drag Ristar and Jin-Gitaxias into the abyss!"
• Strong show of teamwork by Elesh Norn and Shadow. Poland is now conquered, and Bowser goes down with it.

Fallen Tributes◊

• The fallen: Caloundra Road; Hunky Dory; Male 07; HERO OF THE IMPERIUM; Wii U; Saurian Augur; Perinpelaizer; Popka; Louis Stract Jr.; Goldberg; Danny Johnson; Snotty; Blanc; Quark; Altaria; Morgan O'Rourke; Ristar; Jin-Gitaxias; Triple Inverted RS268 4th Placer; Bowser; Polandball; Persephone; Sora Cosplay!Espio
• Nominators out: MemeMaster245; Billy5545; BambangDoe; DarknessAwaits; TroperNo9001; evilfacefromcatgame; GamerLuna2022; Oggy123; VengefulBale; wingedcatgirl; MatthewLMayfield; NineTailedCat; TheMemeMan; Psychedelicate; SomeLibre; Zanreo
• Tributes remaining: 16/82

"Wow, what a massacre! We're down to a fifth of the tributes already! Stay tuned for more thrilling action, folks!"

Aaaand I'm out. I'm just gonna root for kazui lol

Same. I'll just prepare my tributes and events

Well, I may have lost Espio, but good to see Shadow getting some kills.

rip to triple inverted someone 😔

they died twice but the first time sucked more

Holy cow, that trimmed down the tribute count a lot.

Reckon I'll join the "I'll just get my tributes ready" club at this point.