Fix a wish!

Granted, you get stuffed into an Absolute Safety Capsule for all time so you can't do any harm with your insanity.

I wish for one of each Ultra Beast.

edited 15th Apr '17 3:12:46 AM by StarAndroidJaguar

Granted. You can only use one of them at a time, however.

I wish I wasn't a complete bitch to my sisters.

wait hang on

isn't this thread supposed to be about wishing for bad things and then the next person twisting that wish into a good one?

I wish for a Bubsy reboot.

Granted, now it won't be as terrible as Bubsy 3D.

I wish Spider-Man: Homecoming becomes a critical and box office failure.

Granted except it was a rumour that spread after two days of the movie's opening.

I wish for the world to be on fire.

Granted, earth achieves world peace and throws the best party ever!

i searched the term and bing said it could also mean in a state of excitement.

I wish I was a menacing and violet werewolf!

edited 1st Jul '17 3:37:02 AM by vjoi

Menacing? Violent? Only to your squeaky toys! You're an adorable were-corgi!

I wish to be a Reality Warper.

Granted, and you have to think hard to do it so you don't do anything accidentally.

I wish Hockey was more popular.

They have to be bad wishes. What am I supposed to do with this?

Granted. All sports are more popular.

I wish to control a militia of invulnerable and loyal giants.

Sure it is, just not for me.

edited 1st Jul '17 10:10:56 AM by TacoBadger

That isn't a bad wish.....

Granted. You can only use them for benevolent purposes.

I wish that I got terminal cancer.

You get terminal cancer—at least, cancer that until recently, was considered terminal. You sign up for an experimental treatment. With no unpleasant side effects, it completely cures your cancer and you never go into remission.

I wish to be buried in the worst blizzard ever this winter.

Granted, but some Good Samaritans pull you out of the snow and take you to their place for some coffee and hot chocolate.

I wish to be a poor, homeless slave.

You are a poor, homeless slave, begging and working for whatever you can get...until Animal Control picks you up and takes you to the pound and you get adopted, because you're a DOG!! And you're a super-cute friendly dog, so your new family loves you, and they just happen to be filthy rich, so you get all the vet care you need and all the toys you want!

I wish for my neighbors to set off fireworks all night tonight.

You can't sleep, decide to join them because what the heck, and end up having a great time and making new friends.

I wish that Homestuck, Undertale, and Kingdom Hearts all had awful soundtracks.

Granted: turns out they were only that way because of a glitch. It got resolved in less than a day.

I wish that everyone hated me and wanted me dead.

Granted! They hate you, but quickly find that you're Not Worth Killing.

Actual horrible wish: I want to cover the Earth in AIDS!

I am so used to the Corrupt a Wish game, hence my mistake.

edited 1st Jul '17 10:34:44 PM by aNinjaWithAIDS

This is a good wish. Everyone seems to be playing this game wrong. Only do bad wishes like "I wish I was in a cage with an angry bear

Granted, you cover the world in Asian Indian Diamond Salamanders. (Made those up)

I wish I was in a cage with an angry bear.

edited 2nd Jul '17 7:19:35 AM by CyberController

You are in a cage with an angry bear...an angry teddy bear with cute little stuck-on mad eyebrows. When you cuddle the bear, the eyebrows fall off. So! Now you're in a cage with a cute teddy bear, and you can easily reach around and unlock it.

I wish to be chased by a mountain lion.

Granted! You quickly realize that it actually wants to play with you.

I wish to cover the Earth in AIDS!

• I actually corrected my last post with this wish. I'm just reposting it so it can have an answer.

You cover the earth in AIDS. Everyone has it. All humans. All primates. All subsequent generations. But...why is nobody dying? Some of it can be explained by the medications, but it seems that humans and primates are developing an immunity! This is not only badass, it's unprecedented! Not only are we all immune to AIDS, the scientific knowledge of primate evolution has grown by leaps and bounds, and because of that, all science disciplines get the funding they need! :D

I wish for the grossest breakfast burrito ever.

Granted, it's in a chest without a key with an amazing breakfast platter on a table in the same room.

I wish Digital Homicide won the lawsuit against Jim Sterling.

Granted. They win the lawsuit, but a higher court nullifies it.

I wish my house would go up in flames when I'm in it.

granted you, your family, and all your stuff is unharmed, the next day you get a MASSIVE insurance payout that makes you all rich.

I wish I was an all powerful king of an absolute monarchy to rule as I please! (here's a hint: war, conquest, and world empire.)

edited 15th Jul '17 5:57:00 PM by vjoi

Granted, Thankfully you are a kind-hearted King and everyone flourishes under your rule.

I wish Rick and Morty never existed.