Please read the rules below before posting. We're taking turns to post text, and text posted out of turn will be hollered.
The discussion over at the "Is being Troperiffic a Bad Thing?"
thread got a few of us seriously talking about starting a full-fledged, free for all dedicated ConCrit thread. Thanks go to your friendly neighborhood Herald, Chihuahua0, for giving this the go-ahead 
This is how it's going to work:
- This thread is for helping people improve as writers. Please stay away from needlessly gushing or needlessly being mean when handing out criticism.
- No mentioning your own work when giving out criticism. This is to prevent "Let's talk about ME" derails.
- Feedback will be given to one person at a time. We're taking a deliberately slow pace; a person's turn to get feedback is generally supposed to last a week, but we're not ending someone's turn until they get feedback from at least five different people. On the other hand, the person getting feedback can end their own turn if they figure they're done.
- When a turn ends, we wait 12 hours to see if anyone of the people who have just given feedback wants to be up next. If they don't, we pick the person up next from the feedback request list.
- Yes, it's okay to point out spelling and grammar errors made by the person you're giving feedback to.
- If you're unfamiliar with the original verse of a piece of Fan Fiction up for feedback, pretend it's a piece of original fiction and criticize accordingly.
- If and when you step up to receive feedback:
- Post actual writing (not world-building, concepts, layouts, character lists and so on).
- Be specific in what you are looking for, or at least mention what is troubling you the most.
- Fan Fiction is fine, but take into account that anyone not familiar with the source material will judge your piece "blind", essentially by the same standards as original fiction. This means you might get called out on flaws that fan fiction usually gets away with in practice, perhaps even justifiably so. Just like any other kind of criticism, consider it or ignore at at your discretion.
- Be ready to hear some things you probably didn't want to hear. This should go without saying, but, please: No being bitter, being sarcastic, calling people out for "going too far" or otherwise expressing disapproval of the criticism given to you. If you think people are being unfair to your writing, make your case civilly.
With that said, I suppose we can begin and see whether this goes anywhere. The first person to respond with a post to the extent of "I'll go first" will go first.
edited 17th Feb '12 5:07:01 PM by TripleElation
Edited by toushin on Jan 31st 2020 at 6:52:58 AM
Now a lurker. See you at the forums.
If you want help with your grammar, go to Get Help with English Here. Not here.
Edited by Tomodachi on Jan 31st 2020 at 10:42:46 AM
To win, you need to adapt, and to adapt, you need to be able to laugh away all the restraints. Everything holding you back.
edit: got confused, just gonna pop an interest check thread into the main or whatever
Edited by FriedBaka on Feb 12th 2020 at 10:59:57 AM
Hello everybody, I am a new member here and I would like to get some constructive criticism on the beginning of my work - especially the action scenes and the characters.
I've put it up in the queue but it looks like anything else has already been reviewed. Sorry if that is not the case. I am not really sure if it is allowed to just ask in the thread, but I wasn't sure if people here kept up with the request thread. I am not even sure if it is still possible to get critique since the last post here was a month ago.
But if it is, I would be very happy to hear some. My work is the Ragna entry on the request page. Thanks in advance.
Who Am I?
I'll take a look at it in a few days, and post my response.
"We learn from history that we do not learn from history."
One big problem I'm having with my writing rn is that a lot of my characters are Expy. Any tips on how to make characters more original?
Captain of the Dead City
Idk, practice by taking an expy and changing a few key characteristics? Then change a few more next time, and carry on?
"...in the end the Shadow was only a small and passing thing: there was light and high beauty for ever beyond its reach."
Who Am I?
Sorry, Cloudnine, but I dont see your entry in the concrit sandbox.
"We learn from history that we do not learn from history."
And Mister Snuffy, this criticism thread is for critiquing pieces of writing on a waitlist. General questions like yours would be best suited for Random Questions, the General Writer's Block thread, or even your own new thread.
![[up]](https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/smiles/arrow_up.png "[up]"){kind=icon}
Strange, I could see it just fine. It was between Salada Chronicles and Anissa. But anyway, I've copy pasted the entry. Hope that helps.
Ragna. These are the first two arcs of a web series project. These story is part Science Fantasy and part Psycho Thriller. The story follows the story of the eponymous Ragna – a young soldier on the run from the country she swore to protect, while she tries to reclaim the happiness that was taken from her. Despite there being a large focus on the exploration of the future fantasy world that is Aes, the bigger focus will be on the exploration of the minds and psychology of Ragna, her allies and enemies. The journey will be mental as much as it will physical, if not more so.
Edited by Cloudnine on Mar 19th 2020 at 1:01:50 AM
Guys, can you give feedback to poetry?
Edited by Millership on Mar 29th 2020 at 9:58:04 PM
Spiral out, keep going.
Who Am I?
I cant, but maybe someone else can.
"We learn from history that we do not learn from history."
Ok, then, added myself to the queue.
Spiral out, keep going.
Otaku
~@De Marquis: What day will you critique Ragna by Cloudnine and Anissa by Adept Gaderius?
Who Am I?
I'm waiting for permission to access Cloudnine's Google Doc page. I'll go ahead and start on Anissa.
BTW- Do you have a link or a date to the last time you posted a version of this work here?
Edited by DeMarquis on Apr 5th 2020 at 12:02:26 PM
"We learn from history that we do not learn from history."
Who Am I?
Hmm, just a few quick words for now. I remember reviewing this before, and I think I will end up with the same overall conclusions: the depiction of sexual abuse from the point of view of a pre-teen girl is exceptionally well done, the depiction of the school principle and how he reacts to her behavior in school is almost cartoonishly over the top, you need to work on her vocabulary, which is too advanced for her age.
More later.
"We learn from history that we do not learn from history."
Otaku
This is the link to the last time I posted the previous version of Anissa: Page 66, Comment 1640
And here is the revised version of the story: Anissa
Who Am I?
I tried Google site search, which doesn't seem to work for TV Tropes anymore.
"We learn from history that we do not learn from history."
Btw, you do have access to my doc, right?
Who Am I?
I do now, but I've been very busy lately. Please be patient.
"We learn from history that we do not learn from history."
Excuse me. I have a short story I'd like some critique on. Is there a waiting list, do I send it somewhere, is there a process of some kind?
Otaku
Would you paste it in Feedback Request List?
I don't really have it anywhere. Would putting it on google Drive and linking to that work?
Otaku
Okay, so the actual history of "fair skin = beautiful" is REALLY complicated and only somewhat related to my tangent about mixed-race Asians, which is why I didn't mention the whole thing in my first post, but long story short:
-Fair skin in general used to mean a class-specific "rich people don't have to work in the fields all day, but poor people do and therefore get tanned," similar to Europe—but with the key detail being that Asians didn't necessarily want to look white pre-colonization.
-Once colonization happened and Europeans started imposing their culture on everyone else, white skin ALSO got associated with looking European, especially since the upper ranks of society would often intermarry with white people. A lot of their kids ended up part-white and inheriting European features, and the Phenotype Stereotype of white folks is usually having light-colored eyes and hair.
-In Asia, you're going to see marketing for skin-bleaching products, surgery to remove Asian features, and derision/hatred of dark skin, but VERY recently we've started to shake off all that.
-Then you have the FLIP SIDE of the issue where fair-skinned people and mixed-race people cry about "people think I don't look Asian enough," but I'm non-mixed Asian. While nobody wants to make anyone else feel uncomfortable about how they look, and I certainly understand that they're stuck feeling inadequate about both their cultures/ethnicities, my really salty ingrained reaction is (spoilered for really bad racial language) "BOOHOO, YOU DON'T LOOK ASIAN? THAT MEANS YOU DON'T GET CALLED A CHINK, OR GET HIT ON BY OTAKU WHITE GUYS WHO WANT TO BE A SAMURAI, OR GET PEOPLE TALKING ABOUT RANDOM ASIAN CULTURES THAT HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH ME, A FILIPINO." Like, I have to quash that feeling all the time when talking to most mixed-race Asians because they're always talking about how they feel bad to "not look Asian," and then I also have to teach them all the stuff they've missed about the ASIAN side of "mixed-race Asian."
It's nice that you're dealing with things so well, but please don't treat what I say as a "checklist" of "taking out the problematic parts of your story because X reader said so." You're going to need a LOT more than one sensitivity reader if you want to further this project, and I'm not sure if you actually know WHY a sensitivity reader would react badly to some things and not to others.
Also, my work schedule got majorly switched up for this week, so just letting you know that I may not be able to keep posting until around Tuesday.
Which is why I was tentative about agreeing to this project, because as this post detailed, being a sensitivity reader will take a LOT more discussion than is appropriate for this thread.
Edited by Sharysa on Jan 25th 2020 at 6:49:28 AM