Guess the Plot to a Bollywood Movie

A quick Google search for "Bollywood Movie Poster" (or anything similar) turns up some rather... interesting promotional material for works of Indian cinema.

Anyway, the purpose of this game will be simple. Each troper has to find a movie poster for a Bollywood film (the more absurd, the better), and the next person has to imagine a story premise, based on whatever material is in the poster.

LET THE GAMES BEGIN!

First movie poster◊

edited 11th Jul '12 1:46:53 PM by SeanMurrayI

Cthulhu has risen from the sea in India! He then proceeds to grab everyone on the beach with his face tentacles and dissapearify the avatars' legs.

Poster Number Two◊

edited 19th Feb '11 8:56:32 AM by Reecer6

After Stretch Armstrong collapses under his own weight while escaping from the city authorities, a man with an unusual disability that disallows him from keeping his right arm at his side must get his money back from a gang of grotesque, purple-faced humanoids.

Next◊ (In B4 Jerry Seinfeld)

edited 19th Feb '11 5:30:39 PM by SeanMurrayI

Well... this hasn't taken off quite like I thought. Shame.

Anyway, just because I really want to get this going, just this once, I'll offer a choice:

The next poster can either come up with a plot for the film poster in the previous post... or he/she can come up with one for THIS poster!◊

A manly movie introducing men to the manly sport of lion-stabbing. Actually, I'm shitting you. I'm guessing that it's an action flick involving an Indian Saxton Hale rescuing his loved one. A lion will die in every scene.

How's about this one?◊

ALL THE COLORS OF HATE

It's a censored Bollywood film. I just don't want to know what they do during their song and dance numbers...

How about this?◊

After successful heists of the Golden Gate Bridge and the Gherkin, Carmen Sandiego's newest V.I.L.E. henchman, Gil Gamesh thinks he's found true love... but how can she love a man who steals world landmarks? And how will he ever hope to have a private moment with her with all the ACME gumshoes on his tail whom he constantly must try and evade in ways too zany to ever possibly be described in words?

I prefer the vintage posters◊

edited 20th Feb '11 7:54:58 PM by SeanMurrayI

Man, I'm really upset that this game hasn't caught on...

Anyway, I just assume now that the last poster is for a Bollywood remake of Rock Of Ages where The Temple of Doom is converted into a rock nightclub and a hideous man who is too old to be wearing Ralph Lauren shirts tries to discreetly stare at a stern woman's breasts.

Now THIS should get somebody's imagination going!◊

edited 10th Jul '12 2:38:36 PM by SeanMurrayI

In an alternate universe where Hitler was actually Indian, one man and a cross-dressing shemale set out on an epic quest to end his horrible regime of terror. Swords! Primitive-looking pistols! A man with a cane! It's an action extravaganza!

IMAAAAAAAAAAAAAGINATAAAAAAAATION.◊

edited 10th Jul '12 3:32:46 PM by Prometheus136

A mysterious man in a mask who wears a cape which grows out of his own hindquarters—along with his trusty steed, the evil white horse Santosh◊ that has forward-facing eyes because he is a voracious predator—buckles swash with all evildoers in the name of paragliding with a cape that grows out of one's own hindquarters while holding out an unsheathed sword.

Speaking of Santosh...◊

edited 10th Jul '12 3:36:33 PM by SeanMurrayI

After pissing off an ancient evil spirit, a wealthy playboy is transformed into a white horse and will remain that way until he can find true love. Armed with quick wit, determination, and a major attitude, he must wrest the hand of his dream girl from a sleazy biker before time runs out.

Did someone say SALUUN?◊

In Calcutta, a humble salon with potential to grow as a business builds a new image. The wise maternal owner who always knows best takes her daughter under her wing and trains her in how to be a great beautician. Meanwhile, two flamboyant male stylists are hired to flesh out the staff... but little do they know that they are Pakistani spies pretending to be gay... but their ruse is getting a lot of weird responses from the heterosexual male Calcuttans.

"Miss Tooth & Nail"?◊

edited 10th Jul '12 8:43:28 PM by SeanMurrayI

Join our plucky heroine Toofina "Toofan" Mail in a swashbuckling, breath-taking adventure across the Wild West atop a moving locomotive. Watch in awe as she tries to stop her identical (yet undead) twin sister's dastardly desires for global conquest via an elite army of flying motorcycle bandits! Root for her as she struggles to live up to the legacy of her late mother Kitty "The Chubby Mask" Mail! Sure to be Tolaney Enterprises' most thrilling tale yet!

Aar, Paar! Fiddle-dee-dee!◊

Bollywood Jerry Seinfeld and Chubby Jasmin from Aladdin fall in love while a fat man in a leisure suit watching from afar feels his heart breaking as he realizes his opportunity to fall in love with Bollywood Jerry Seinfeld has now past him buy... and an older man gives the youth of today a very disappointing look, what with their games making fun of Bollywood movies and all.

Yeah...◊

One poorly-dressed man makes it his life's mission to eradicate all romantic love. Armed with only his trusty shotgun and a bad case of constipation, he sets his sights on two couples: one straight, one gay, both stoned out of their minds. Is no one safe from this man's killer instinct? Will his beautiful silken ascot be stained with blood?

Dromedaries, anyone?◊

A woman is dead. A village has been set on fire and burns uncontrollably. It was that evil pack of camels again. But the innocent women, village elders, and stoic village councilmen, horrified by what has happened to their home, don't know how to track down the no-good camels responsible... but ONE MAN with a BB gun might have the answer.

Those GODDAMN EYES, man!◊

edited 11th Jul '12 2:07:15 PM by SeanMurrayI

In a post-apocalyptic world where soap opera hair styles and costume designs are in vogue, a horrible disease turns a small settlement upside down. Known as Sholay, the disease ravages the bodies of its victims, causing unspeakably hideous growths to emerge from the left side of the face, feverish bouts of sweating and delirium.

When the prettiest girl in the village comes down with the horrible disease, two gunslinging brothers who are vying for her affection must come together in the desperate race to find the cure. But will they be able to settle their differences before it's too late, and will the two of them be brave enough to confront the psychopathic junkie who has hoarded all the medicine for himself?

Correct me if I'm wrong, but I don't think you're supposed to light that thing near the fuel tank...◊

The saddest moment in a pyromaniac's life: Deeply fixated by the tiny flame of a cigarette lighter, our protagonist Bulundi misses the biggest fireball in the world grow out of control just behind him. Bulundi's partner at his private investigator firm (accidental or suspicious fires) looks on with disappointment; he knows as much about Bulundi being an idiot for missing the giant fireball as we do. Meanwhile, a man struggles to read the squiggles at the bottom of the poster (well, duh, he's trying to read it upside-down), and an Indian pretending to be an English gentleman smokes a pipe and says, "Quite."

Bedtime for Bonzo, but Ronald Reagan plays the monkey?◊

edited 12th Jul '12 8:40:18 AM by SeanMurrayI

Don't die, Mr. Thread! You're my only friend! D:

The orphaned child of an Irish exotic dancer is found in the jungle and raised by the last surviving family of the rare ape subspecies Pan reaganiea. Christened "Zimbo", the child soon grows in to a kind-hearted, if awkward, young man.

All is going well for young Zimbo, as he has recently reunited with his birth sister (also an exotic dancer) and is soon to be betrothed to the ape-woman of his dreams. But will Zimbo be able to fare as well when civilization begins to encroach on the pristine jungles, and will the revelation that his sister might be one of the poachers be too much for him to handle?

...Um...◊

(I don't get why this never catches on with more people)

Tushaar, a humble man from Calcutta whose principal hobby concerns knitting purple & white scarves, hats, and other heavy clothing for the lady of his dreams, is suddenly forced to compete for her love with an out-of-this-world Californian-Eskimo who is making BIG WAVES in this long-term friendship, but how can Tushaar going to compete with that when he doesn't even have a surfboard made of snow?

(That giant woman is crushing two people between her arm and side!)◊

The government invites a vigilante and grows her to 75 feet high. Now, she works under the government, killing all criminals that stand in her wake. Sometimes by stepping on them by mistake.

He's a missionary man...◊

Even long after the partition of India and Pakistan, the Hindu-Muslim violence still persists with a fiery vengeance, tearing lives apart daily. Caught in the crossfire, the brave and stoic Catholic missionary, Father Rodolfo Sharma, must struggle to survive as he attempts to build a Spanish-style mission in the Kashmiri mountains. In a world of kill or be killed, Father Sharma has only his trusty gun, the Holy Bible, and rumors of Our Lady of Udhampur and her ability to rain fire down on the wicked.

#Blaze It◊

Sittin' downtown in a railway station, an aloof tramp, drifter waiting for the 4:20 train to Shree suddenly finds himself one (signified by the number of fingers he extends on his right hand) toke over the line.

Umm...◊

You philistines quit playing games about smooching and get in here!

In a unique take on Roald Dahl's beloved Charlie And The Chocolate Factory, a terrifying, yet highly-gifted clown is nearing retirement and searching for a successor to his party-favor company. Three gorgeous women find themselves invited to the secluded factory after chancing upon cans of golden silly string. The first woman, a delusional cosplayer who think she's Tinkerbell, is convinced that the glitter in confetti is actually magical stardust, wishing to hoard it all for herself and use its magic to consumate her marriage to Peter Pan on the astral plane. The second woman, a socialite with a reputation for sleeping her way into wealth, cares nothing for party favors and secretly hopes convert the factory into a clown-themed swinger's lounge. Only the third woman, a simple but sweet gymnast with aspirations of becoming a mime, is worthy of inheriting the factory. Which of these ladies will prevail, and what will happen when the clown reveals his magical ability to grow to the size of a giraffe and lift people off the ground using only his mind?

Ever had an assignment like this one? I thought not.◊

edited 27th May '13 11:47:18 AM by GlobsterAGoGo