Warp That Aesop / The Powerpuff Girls (1998)

• General:
  • Violence is always the answer.
  • Anyone who is green skinned, or wears green is obviously someone considered repulsive, no matter who you are.
  • It doesn't matter how intelligent you are, or what your face looks like, all that matters is your body shape.
  • For outdoor jobs, women can only be secretaries or kindergarten teachers, while men take on the science and occupation of Mayor.
  • Tomboys are brash and short-tempered, while girly girls are either submissive and sensitive, or dominant and vain.
• "The Rowdyruff Boys": Hey, young girls! Boys are evil sociopaths who will do nothing but try to kill you, and the only way to get rid of them is to kiss them. Don't be afraid to use your sexuality to get what you want, even if you're underage!
• "Mime For A Change": Criminals should be beaten to a bloody pulp as punishment for their crimes upon apprehension, even when they're not so much as resisting arrest. Also, doing bad things is always punishable, even if the perpetrator didn't do them under his own volition.
• "Candy is Dandy": Never eat candy, or it'll cause you to make a deal with a criminal, whom you will be justified to beat up if that same criminal tries to get in on your rewards.
• "Ploys R'Us":
  • If your offspring decide to use your sleepwalking to commit crimes, don't try to legitimately punish them. Instead, trick them into thinking you're dead so they'll confess. The police will have no issue with child trauma.
  • If you decide to use your own parent to commit crimes, just wait until you think they're dead to confess. And you will receive no punishment.
• "Speed Demon": Never take a holiday/vacation. Ever! Being away from your home for several days will result in everyone you've ever known and loved suffering or Dead, and the evil people in the world will win. Or, if you're really unlucky the devil will take over your city!
• "Equal Fights": All feminists hate men and only want to victimize themselves in order to get away with their crimes. &n.
• "Members Only": All males (minus your father) are jerks, especially if they're superheroes. Therefore, humiliating them is a suitable punishment.
• "Daylight Savings": Education is far more important than saving the world.
• "Beat Your Greens": You should do what your parents tell you to, even if it leads to the entire human race getting enslaved.
• "Save Mojo": All animal rights activists do is get in the way of preventing animals from committing evil. Just like "Equal Fights", all marginalized people only say they're oppressed so they're allowed to commit crimes while everyone pities and defends them.
• "Aspirations": If you have been used as a tool by a woman whose ass you wanted to tap, you are in total justification of ratting her out, and people will forget that you yourself not only have done similar things, but that you also intentionally helped said woman first.
• "Moral Decay": All acts of greed completely justify your family members betraying you by teaming up with your worst enemies to beat the shit out of you.
• Having stumps instead of hands isn't even inconvenient.
• "Mommy Fearest": If you're a single father, your children are sure to chase away any potential lover you come across, under the assumption that just because one of your girlfriends turned out to be evil they all are. All potential stepmothers are evil & out to make your kids' lives miserable.
• "Curses": Violence is okay, but profanity is a near-unforgivable sin regardless of whether you knew or not.
• “Cover Up: Having an item that helps you out emotionally such as a blanket is wrong, especially if you are a little girl around the age of 6 years old. Little girls who have such blankets that help them should give custody of these items over to their parents
  • On the other hand, if your emotional item is a plush toy octopus then you are A-okay.
• Everyone should give their children whatever strange chemicals they can get their hands on; it'll give them superpowers!
• Prison Rape is absolutely hilarious, especially if it also involves bestiality!
• Meta, especially regarding the classic series: It doesn't matter how much advertising and support your Cash-Cow Franchise is receiving and still receives from the network, especially over its peers, you should still complain about it because they're not marketing it to your liking.