Hahaha— AAUGH! Who are you people? And why are you in my lair! ...Oh, right, you're the visitors who wanted to know about me. For those of you who don't know, I am Robbie Rotten! I am one of the most famous residents of the little village I call home, LazyTown. And as some of you may already know, I'm the MASTER OF DISGUISE! And I'm also VILLAIN NUMBER ONE, and so on and so forth. My desire is that the people of this town would be actually LAZY, and not running and jumping and eating "Sportscandy" and being healthy! I blame that pink-haired pixie and that blue sports elf Sportaflop for making my life a misery!
I have been working in my underground lair for years and years now, but this Icelandic man who looks a bit like Sportafreak claims he created me and that I'm just a figment of his imagination. He calls his twisted, inaccurate portrayal of me Glanni... Glanni Gl... Glanni Gla- OH WHO CARES! I can't even pronounce it! But anyways, he claims wrongly in his silly costume dramas that I was once a renowned criminal who imprisoned some people and enforced a dictatorship, twice! That is all baloney! I wouldn't do that, I have STANDARDS!
And did I tell you about what I do for a living? When I'm not trying to capture that blue sports elf with the many inventions I've created, I just want to sit down in my chair, either sleeping, watching TV, enjoying a nice big slice of cake, or all three at once. But sometimes, a simple invention to trap Sportaloonie is not enough! I have to actually order stuff to take him down! Like that time I hired three birthday party entertainers to deal with him, you probably know them from that "meem" thingie they co-starred with me in.
Beware, all of you! Sportakook and his exercise regiments will ruin your life more than that stupid "TVTropes" website you browse! You shouldn't watch him or his pixie friend's TV show, or even that "LazyTown Extra" thing they also made. Here's a bit of advice for you that you should pass on to your offspring, no matter if you actually have any or not: DON'T LET YOUR KIDS WATCH IT!
IT'S DISGUISE— err, TROPE TIME!
- Adaptational Nice Guy: WHAT DO YOU MEAN "I WISH I COULD BE THEIR FRIEND"? That's a bunch of nonsense! I just want to make them LAZY!
- Anti-Role Model: What do you mean "anti-role model"? I'm a better role model than that fool Sportaflop!
- Card-Carrying Villain: Of course. I am Villain Number One, after all!
- Determinator: Emphasis on the "Terminator". I want that pixie and her blue sports elf friend to GO AWAY, no matter the cost!
- Even Evil Has Standards: That greedy brat, who thinks everything is his property, didn't even bring an actual present to the candy kid's birthday party! He's so rich, he could have given him something really expensive, like that "Wee You" thing that all the kids wanted back then! I had the decency to bring him some nice cookies!
- Gadgeteer Genius: I'M A GENIUS! Even that moustached egg-shaped loser pales in comparison to me!
- Hoist by His Own Petard: Karma's just a bunch of baloney! I don't care if I lose, I'll get back to trying to get my way no matter what!
- Laborious Laziness: Of course! I am an expert at being lazy.
- Mad Scientist: I'M NOT "MAD", YOU MORONS!
- Malicious Misnaming: I don't care about the real names of Sportaflop, the pixie, that cookie kid, Stinky, the nerd and that pig-tailed brat! I call 'em as it is!
- Names to Run Away from Really Fast: You better run, fools!
- Nice Job Fixing It, Villain: It was an accident! I didn't mean to raise that stupid world record meter to 100! I was just celebrating Sportaflippetyflop losing his energy!
- Paper-Thin Disguise: Alright, get out of my lair, you. MY DISGUISES ARE FOULPROOF!
- Sharp-Dressed Man: On second thought, you're right. You can stay.
- Take Over the City: I'd do a better job as mayor than that simp who just wants the blue-haired telephone addict to marry him!
- Trademark Favorite Food: That man who looks sort of like me is right! I LOVE CAKE! I'd even eat it if it was 10 years out of date!
- Villain Song: You all probably know the words to such hits like "Master of Disguise", "You Are A Pirate" and "We Are Number One"! Yes, I know you're humming them right now.
