Recap / It Feels More Like A Memory Chapter 6 For The Rest Of My Days

TL;DR: Alexander dies. Aaron lives his historical life as the villain in the story, then he dies.

Canon equivalent: Covers the rest of "The World Was Wide Enough."

Summary: The bullet hits Alexander. Aaron tries to visit him after the duel, but Angelica prevents this. Aaron receives a posthumous note from Alexander saying he forgives him, but Aaron feels too unworthy to accept the forgiveness. His legacy is ruined as the man who shot Alexander. He finishes the Samuel Chase trial, gives a farewell address to the Senate thinking of his Civil War dream, leases Spanish land where there's talk of provoking a war and gets arrested and acquitted thrice over treason related to that, leaves for Europe and comes back, summons Theodosia to save her after her son dies and he has nightmares of her death only to have her die on the trip up at sea, touches the face of an Alexander Hamilton statue, and dies.

Longer summary

Aaron yells "wait" and the bullet hits Alexander. He runs towards Alexander, but is dragged back. He goes to visit the Hamilton household to see Alexander, but Angelica blocks his entry, angry at him for killing Alexander, and doesn't change her mind even when he says if he could pay in his own blood for this, he'd do so seven times over. Alexander dies and Aaron receives a posthumous note from Alexander saying he doesn't hate Aaron and forgives him. Aaron doesn't accept the forgiveness feeling he'll never be worthy of it. He's charged for murder, and though he never gets imprisoned his legacy is still ruined as the man who killed Alexander. He still has to finish the Samuel Chase trial, and gives a farewell address to the Senate while thinking of his Civil War dream.

He leases and has people settle land from the Spanish government, and there's talk of provoking a war, with Andrew Jackson very willing to participate if the war actually happens. Nothing happens, but Jefferson puts him on trial for treason anyways. He turns himself into federal agents twice, is acquitted both times, and then Jefferson has him arrested until another trial can happen. It involves a fake letter written in the supposed recipient's handwriting because the supposed recipient "lost the original." He's acquitted. Aaron leaves for Europe since he has nothing left in America, broke, having lots of sex, and writing to Theodosia. She tries to help him and make it easy for him to return home. He does come home and starts a law practice. The War of 1812 breaks out, with some people calling for him to serve on account of him being the Seer and others not trusting him enough to do that. His grandson, Theodosia's son, dies, Theodosia herself is struck down with grief, and he has nightmares of her dying, so he has her come up to visit him so he can learn how she dies and prevent it, but the ship is lost at sea. He touches the face of an Alexander Hamilton statue, saying "there was the poetry," remarries for money, has a stroke that leaves him bedridden, and dies.

"for the rest of my days" contains examples of:

• Adaptational Context Change:
  • In "The Reynolds Pamphlet," Angelica delivers a "God, I hope you're satisfied" to Alexander after he's cheated on Eliza and published a pamphlet about his affair. Here, Angelica says "I hope you're satisfied" to Aaron after he's shot Alexander in a duel. In both contexts, an angry Angelica sarcastically hopes someone's satisfied with the amount of harm they caused one of her loved ones in an attempt to preserve their own pride and honor. However, in the musical, she's angry with Alexander for hurting Eliza with an affair he told the public about; in the fic she's angry with Aaron on behalf of Alexander, and thus Eliza and the Hamilton children, for the much more physical act of shooting him in a duel. And in the fic, Angelica details how Alexander and his family are emotionally suffering, then says "I hope you're satisfied," with the context of her legitimately thinking Aaron wanted to harm Alexander and sarcastically hoping he's happy with how much emotional misery he brought them in addition to the regular physical hurts associated with dying. In the musical, it's not clear how much malice Angelica ascribes to Alexander, and she's not saying he's happy with causing an additional type of misery to Eliza beyond the expected emotional type. Finally, the line as used in the fic doesn't reference a previous analysis of Aaron where she thought he would never be satisfied; as "God, I hope you're satisfied" referenced her previous "he will never be satisfied" analysis of Alexander.
  • In "Right Hand Man," Alexander says he "wished for a war, I knew that I was poor, I knew it was the only way to rise up," and that "I am either gonna die on the battlefield in glory or rise up." Washington says "Dying is easy, young man. Living is harder." In this chapter, Aaron "wishes for a war" thinking it's a way out of his debts and "know[ing] it's the only way to rise up." He thinks of "dying on the battlefield, perhaps regaining a scrap of his old glory" is "the easy way out." Alexander and Aaron share the same wishes of a war thinking it's the only way to rise up and that it'll help them escape their current financial predicament, and think dying on the battlefield will give them glory. The difference is that Alexander is a young man looking to rise in standing for the first time, while Aaron has already had good standing, fallen, and wants to rise again. In addition, Alexander needed Washington to tell him dying is easier than living, whereas Aaron's death fantasies already agree that death is the easier way.
• all lowercase letters: Like every other chapter title of this fic, this chapter's title is in all lowercase letters.
• Artistic License – History: "There's no one to escort Theodosia from South Carolina up to New York" in the fic, but real Aaron Burr sent "an old friend" Timothy Green to accompany her on the trip from South Carolina to New York.
• Complete-the-Quote Title: "for the rest of my days" is completed by adding "I just might regret that night" before it. It comes from "Satisfied" in the Hamilton musical, where Angelica expresses regret over an action she took in regards to Alexander: giving up a shot at romance with him and giving it to her sister instead. The omitted "I just might regret that night" part refers to Aaron's regret over an action he took in regards to Alexander: aiming his gun at him with intent to kill. He, like Angelica, regrets his action for the rest of his days. Unusually for this trope, the non-omitted part has meaning too: the chapter details the rest of Aaron's days until he dies.
• Death by Despair: Part of Theodosia’s death. Aaron invites her up to see him not just because he wants to touch her to prevent her death, but because she’s grieving her dead son and Aaron wants to comfort her. She dies on the trip up to see him.
• Dénouement Episode: The story arc ends when Alexander gets shot, Aaron regrets dueling him, and Alexander dies. The rest of the chapter makes up most of the chapter, and shows the aftermath of that conclusion: Aaron’s legacy is ruined and he lives a bad life.
• A Fool for a Client: Downplayed Trope. Aaron is charged for Alexander Hamilton's murder in New York and New Jersey, and he chooses to represent himself in court for that charge, but neither charge ever goes to trial.
• Foreshadowing: Aaron says "If I could pay in my own blood, I would do so seven times over, I would—" and he ends up living more lifetimes after this one. Aaron later guesses he’ll have seven deaths he can remember, because it wouldn’t be paying in blood if he couldn’t suffer by remembering the death, which means eight lifetimes: one death he remembers at the end of seven lifetimes, plus an eighth lifetime with one final “true” death that doesn’t count as paying with blood because he won’t be able to suffer by remembering it. Word of God confirms his guess in the chapter 28 comments. Beware of spoilers up to chapter 28 in those confirming comments.
• Historical Hero Upgrade: Downplayed. People remember the real Aaron Burr for attempting to be Emperor of Mexico, specifically establishing an independent country there and in parts of the southwestern United States. The fic has his worst offense be wishing for a war, and what that war would have been fought for is left unclear in the fic. He gets a hero upgrade from the widely-held picture of him as wanting that land for himself to be Emperor of Mexico, but it's uncertain whether this upgrades him from his real self since it's ambiguous what his real self wanted or planned to do with that area of land.
• Idiosyncratic Episode Naming: Following the convention of naming every chapter title after a Hamilton lyric, this chapter takes its title from the lyric “I just might regret that night for the rest of my days” from "Satisfied."
• Irony: Theodosia dies on a journey to see her father Aaron, who asked her to take this journey partially so he could touch her, see how she dies, and work to prevent her death.
• Kangaroo Court: Like in real life, Aaron's treason trial includes fabricated evidence of a letter Aaron supposedly wrote to James Wilkinson written in Wilkinson's handwriting because he "lost the original." Played with, because although Jefferson's goal was to have him found guilty, he was acquitted thanks to Justice John Marshall trying to be a fair judge.
• Meaningful Echo:
  • Exact quotes from Aaron's Civil War dream (only changes are changed capitalization and punctuation because individual list items get removed and treated as their own sentence) are juxtaposed with his historical farewell address to the Senate, likely because political deadlock in the Senate helps lead up to the war and he talks about the Senate being a sanctuary of law and order while his vision included screaming politicians and one politician beating another with a cane on the Senate floor.
  • When Alexander and Aaron were still best friends, he touched Aaron's face and told him he was like poetry. Now, after their relationship has deteriorated and Aaron has killed Alexander, he sees a statue of Alexander, touches its face, and says "There was the poetry."
• Nobility Marries Money: America doesn’t actually have nobility, but Eliza Jumel still marries Aaron Burr for his name and Aaron marries her for her money.
• Nom de Mom: Aaron starts up a law practice under his mother's maiden name of Edwards after his reputation has been ruined by killing Alexander.
• "Not Making This Up" Disclaimer: The author's notes after the end of the chapter say that the quote from Alexander's note about how he forgives Aaron is real, the dialogue from Aaron's Senate speech is the only extant quote of the real speech and the speech did actually make listeners cry, the death of Theodosia's son and her own death after Aaron sends for her to visit are both real (although the reason of Aaron wanting to find out how she dies and prevent it is totally fictional), Aaron stroking the face on a statue of Alexander and saying "there was the poetry" is real, and Aaron's last words are real. It's implied this list of real things is because they seem too dramatic to believe really happened outside of the fic.
• Outliving One's Offspring: Like real life, Aaron's daughter Theodosia has a son who dies before she does. This prompts Aaron to invite her to visit him, so she travels to him by sea, only for the ship to be lost and her to die while Aaron is still alive.
• Season Finale: Along with chapter 5. Chapter 5 has most of the dramatic conclusion of the story arc, which would be most of the duel. This chapter has the end of the dramatic conclusion of the story arc with the bullet hitting Alexander and Alexander dying, and the aftermath of the arc. It’s also the last chapter in the arc.
• Sex for Solace: Aaron in Europe, hoping it’ll make him feel something.
  [He] seeks solace in the warmth of human bodies like his political opponents once accused him of doing, despite the pain of seeing their deaths. Maybe because of it. At least he feels something then, and he just—he feels like he should feel something, anything at all.
• Shown Their Work:
  • As listed in the author's notes, Alexander's note of forgiveness, Aaron's Senate speech that made people cry, the death of Theodosia's son and her own death after Aaron sends for her to visit, Aaron stroking the face on a statue of Alexander and saying "there was the poetry" (this according to Chernow), and Aaron's last words.
  • Most of the events that make up Aaron's post-duel life that weren't already listed in the author's notes. His charge for murder in New York and New Jersey and it not going to trial in either, the Samuel Chase trial (although this has a slight inaccuracy since it wasn't "still ongoing" after the duel, the trial first started after the duel) and the quote about his presiding over that trial with the "dignity and impartiality of an angel, but with the rigor of a devil," his leasing of land from the Spanish government, the talk of provoking war, Andrew Jackson being willing to jump in if it did actually turn to war, Aaron turning himself in and getting acquitted twice over Jefferson wanting him on trial for treason, Jefferson having him taken to Fort Stoddert, the trial having a letter Aaron supposedly wrote to General Wilkinson that was written in Wilkinson's handwriting because he "lost the original" as evidence, that evidence being thrown out and Aaron acquitted, Aaron's four-year trip to Europe where he visited France, England, Germany, Scotland, Denmark, and Sweden and had lots of sex, Theodosia raising money for and exchanging letters with him, Theodosia writing to the Madisons to ease his eventual return to America, Samuel Swartwout and Matthew Davis helping him return to New York, starting a law practice under his mother's maiden name, Theodosia's anguish over her son's death affecting her health, marrying the wealthy widow Eliza Jumel and separating in four months, having a stroke that leaves him bedridden but doesn't kill him, and a Reverend Van Pelt visiting him on his deathbed.
• The Stations of the Canon: Alexander gets shot by Aaron’s bullet and dies with Angelica and Eliza by his side. Aaron‘s legacy is ruined and he becomes a villain of history.