"The One With The Fertility Test" is the 21st episode of season 9 of Friends.
Rachel receives a gift certificate for a free massage at a big massage center. Phoebe has moral objections because she feels it destroys business for self-employed massage therapists like she is. However, it happens that Phoebe is employed at the very same chain massage center. She tries very hard to hide her identity to Rachel. Rachel recognizes her because she notices Phoebe's new, very distinctive shoes.
Joey enjoys spending time with Charlie, Ross's new attractive colleague. She asks him to show her around the city. She wants to visit galleries and museums about which Joey doesn't know anything. He asks Ross for help. Ross coaches Joey on the layout of the museum and he memorizes a script for their tour. The tour works great and Charlie falls for Joey although Joey took a wrong path and talked about different paintings.
Monica and Chandler have been trying to conceive for a year and they decide to have a fertility test. They meet Janice whose husband needs to be tested as well. Chandler is nervous about the act of providing the specimen, but he's quite sure that everything is all right with them. They receive a call from the doctor who explains that there is a problem with both of them — Chandler's sperm has low motility and Monica's uterus has an inhospitable environment. They are upset, but resolve to figure it out.
Tropes:
- Annoying Laugh: Janice and her signature annoying nasally laugh is back. Chandler and Monica run into her at the doctor's office.
- Big "OMG!":
- As to be expected in an episode where Janice shows up.
- Played for drama when Monica learns the results of the test.
- Brilliant, but Lazy: Thanks to being an actor, Joey has no trouble memorizing the script that Ross prepared and can rattle it off quite well in a short amount of time. He just has no desire to understand what it all means.
- Bros Before Hoes: Despite wanting to be with Charlie himself, Ross does everything possible to sincerely help Joey and doesn't even consider trying to sabotage him.
- Chekhov's Gun: The shoes Phoebe bought online. She shows them off at the beginning of the episode and Rachel recognises them while on the massage table.
- Desk Sweep of Passion: In their apartment, Chandler sweeps things from the table and wordlessly invites Monica to have sex on it. She, ever the Neat Freak, is not impressed.Chandler: Oh, well... Maybe we could... [sweeps the stuff off the table]
Monica: Ok, trying to turn me on by making a mess? Know your audience! - Downer Ending: The episode ends with Monica and Chandler learning they'll almost certainly never be able to conceive a child naturally. Although they promise to find a way to have a baby, the two are still left very upset.
- Hypocrite: How Phoebe feels about working at the massage center, despite being morally opposed to it.
- Malaproper: Joey tries to use "acrimonious" in a sentence after hearing Charlie use it. He repeatedly gets it wrong.
- Mishmash Museum: Due to Joey making the wrong turn and being the guide for their visit, he essentially turns the Met into this.
- Once a Season: Janice makes her traditional appearance for the season at the fertility clinic.
- Series Continuity Error: At one point, Joey states to Ross that he's never had a true love. This is not true: he had Kate Miller and Janine Lecroix, with whom he had (short-lived) committed relationships. (May be somewhat justified in Janine's case though, as he dumped her due to her repeatedly badmouthing Monica and Chandler.)
- Wham Episode: Chandler and Monica learn that they will likely never be able to biologically conceive a child.
