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Quotes / Lord British Postulate

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"This solid-gold sausage was awarded to Cobain Dougans for defeating the Naughty Sorceressnote  in a manner that no one thought was possible, including us. Congratulations on your surprising victory, and darn you for forcing us to come up with a way to keep that from ever happening again."
Description for the Golden Sausage, Kingdom of Loathing

"This silver-plated sausage was awarded to DarthDud for defeating the Naughty Sorceress in a manner that few thought was possible. Congratulations on your victory, and darn you for forcing us to raise the bar before someone inevitably does it yet again."
Description for the Silver Sausage, Kingdom of Loathing

"If they have stats, we can kill them... I'd like to point out that we also have stats..."

"This is another rule you should probably follow... If you're following any kind of movie series, or book series, or anything that has well-know characters, never involve them in your RPG... Because players will fuck with them."

Trestkon: Wait, you're gonna kill me just because your damn mapper didn't know how to set bInvincible to TRUE?
The Narcissus Entity: You were not expected to survive the encounter with the significantly augmented Scara B. King and his automatic gun turrets and guards. It was deemed unnecessary to make him invulnerable. The Entity is incapable of error, and the logical conclusion must be that YOU are a mistake. We will correct this mistake now.
The Nameless Mod, if you kill Scara B. King before his Plot Armor expires

"If it bleeds, we can kill it."

You were the one who stat-ed him! If you didn't want him to die, you shouldn't have given him any stats! Rules as written: if it has no statistics, it cannot die!
The Grand Provost Marshall in the middle of a game of Warhammer Fantasy, If the Emperor Had a Text-to-Speech Device


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