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Quotes / Hellsing

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Anderson: In the name of God, impure souls of the living dead shall be banished into eternal damnation. Amen.

Alucard: Don't mistake my patience for cowardice.

Jan: Up up! Down down! Left right left right! Bring the motherfuckin' death by Konami! Ahhh, I'm so fuckin' hard right now...

Jan: Er... hello? Is this thing on? Cool! This message is going out to the Round Table Conference and a very personal and heart-filled shout-out to the queen bitch herself, Miss Hellsing! ALL RIGHT! Your ass is currently being kicked by the Valentine Brothers! My name is Jan Valentine, and I can't wait to meet each and every one of you. We'll be getting intimate as soon as me and the boys finish lunch, so let me be the first to thank you for providing us with these tasty snacks! By tomorrow, Hellsing will be nothing but a pile of shit. [...] In the meantime, I highly recommend pissing yourselves, followed by a course of praying to your impotent god. But hey! There's always time to be a man and kill yourself! Thank you, London! We love you! GOOD NIGHT!

Integra: Don't you dare question my resolve! I have already given you your marching orders, soldier! You will search and destroy! SEARCH AND DESTROY! Any resistance you encounter is to be CRUSHED! Hellsing does not run from our enemies. KILL THEM ALL! I order you to leave nothing but bloody stains in your way!

Seras: Walter, why is there a coffin in my bedroom.
Walter: It's here on orders from Sir Integra. We can't have a vampire that doesn't sleep in a coffin.
Seras: Where's my bed?
Walter: I disposed of it. (Seras screams) If it helps, Alucard approved of the order as well.

Integra: You're too loud, Police Girl. I don't care if you are a vampire. You're still English. Have some manners!

The Major: My friends, it has often been said that I like war.
My friends, I like war.
No, friends, I LOVE WAR!

I love Holocausts. I love Blitzkriegs. I love defensive lines. I love sieges. Charges. I love mop-up operations and retreats.
Wars across prairies, in streets, in trenches, in grasslands, in frozen tundras, through deserts, on the sea, in the air. I love every act of war that can occur upon this earth!

I love blasting the enemy to smithereens with artillery salvos that thunder across the lines of battle.
My heart leaps with joy whenever a soldier is tossed high into the air and cut to pieces by well placed sniper rounds!
And there is nothing like a tank operator using a Tiger Acht-Acht to destroy enemy tanks.
And the feeling that comes when a soldier runs screaming from his blazing tank only to be mowed down by heavy machine gun fire is such an exquisite feeling.

Like when ranks of infantry brandish their bayonets rushing into the enemy line.
It moves me deep within my heart to watch a fresh recruit stabbing over and over into the bloated chest of a long-dead enemy.

The sight of deserters being strung up from a street lamp is an irresistible pleasure.
Und there is nothing more arousing than the sounds made by prisoners of war dropping like flies, screaming in agony as they're mowed down by ear piercing Schmeissers!

When a band of pitiful resistance fighters makes their final stand with nothing but small arms, only to have their city smashed to atoms block by block by 4.8 ton bombshells, I'm in ecstasy.

I love it when my forces are ravaged by a Russian armored division. It's so sad to see towns and villages that were supposed to be defended at all costs, being laid to waste, their women and children being raped and killed.
I love to be squashed under the heel of the British and American war machines. The humiliation as my men crawl around like vermin, ducking the JAG bombers flying overhead.

Gentlemen... all I ask for is war. A war so grand as to make Hell itself tremble.
Gentlemen, I ask you as fellow brothers in arms, what is it that you really want?
Do you wish for further war as I do?
Do you wish for a merciless, bloody war? A war whose fury is built with iron, and lightning, and fire?
Do you ask for war to sweep in like a tempest, leaving not even ravens to scavenge from this Earth!?

Letzes Battalion: Krieg! Krieg! Krieg, krieg, krieg, krieg, krieg, krieg!

The Major: Very well. Then krieg is what you shall have.
We are a clenched fist, ready to strike down all who oppose us with our might.
But..after enduring over half a century wallowing in the darkness, for us a simple "ordinary" war will no longer be sufficient.
We need a MASSIVE war! A war beyond any other that man's history has never known!

We are but a single battalion...the remnants of a defeated army numbering less than a thousand strong.
However, I believe that each of you old warriors is equal to a thousand of their sickly soft children!
We represent a force that could easily defeat an army of a million and one men!
It is time for them to awake the ones who sent us screaming into oblivion, and who now lie sleeping.
Let's drag them out of bed by the hair, and remind them of what we are!

We will remind them of what it feels like to live in fear.
We will remind them of the sound our jackboots make against their throats.
We will remind them that there are more things between Heaven and Hell than are dreamt of in their philosophy.

Our Kampfgruppe of one thousand vampires is going to burn this world down to ash.
Yes, my friends! Soon, Europe's charred remains will illuminate the night sky!
I have brought you all back just as I promised I would. Back to our favorite battlefield. Back to our beloved war!
At last, the sea lion has crossed the ocean and is heading up the hill!

Attention all soldiers of the Millennium battalion, this is a message from your commander.


Let's bring them Hell.

Anderson: Speak up, you men of God. Tell us all who you are.
Iscariot soldiers: We are the soldiers of Iscariot! We are Judas Iscariot!
Anderson: Well then, Iscariots, I ask you: What do you hold in your right hand?
Iscariot soldiers: Daggers and poison!
Anderson: Well then, my soldiers of Iscariot, I ask you: What do you hold in your left hand?
Iscariot soldiers: Thirty pieces of silver and a straw rope!
Anderson: Now, show them who your are, my soldiers of Iscariot! We're apostles, and yet not apostles! We are believers, yet not believers! We are disciples, yet not disciples! We are heretics, yet not heretics! We are soldiers in the service of death, who bow our heads in reverence to our Lord, and whose prayers are found in the withered bodies of our enemies! With poison served at every supper, and daggers flashing in the moonlight! We are the apostles of Judas Iscariot, we are his holy folk of assassins, and upon the hour at which we are called, we cast our thirty pieces of silver into the sight of the holy, and hang ourselves with a rope of straw!
Iscariot soldiers: Thus, do we move to meet Hell's legions as a mighty army, and form our squared ranks against Hell's gates, and prepare to meet the seven million, four hundred and five thousand, nine hundred and twenty-six demons of iniquity!

The Major: And so it came to pass that those who had gathered before a painted line of spears found themselves reunited before the real thing. On one side, a division of panzergrenadier vampires from Germany's Third Reich: the dreaded 572 vampire soldiers of the Last Battalion! On the other side, 2975 knights of the Roman Catholic Vatican Curia: Ninth Airborne Mobile Crusade. In the middle, Her Majesty's Hellsing Organization! Just three of these mighty soldiers remain. All is ready; the players prepare to take the stage, and the curtain rises over this Walpurgis Dawn!

Alucard: The Bird of Hermes is my name. Eating my wings to make me tame.

Don't be cool vibration. Live in your fantasy.
Tell me who, tell me surely, and the name...

The Major: Here it comes, I can feel it. A mighty river, a river of death. *laughs* The dead, ha, shall dance... AND ALL OF HELL SHALL SING.

The Major: Deny it all you want. My humanity is not in question. I still have that one trait that puts us in ascendance even above the angels. It is my will that drives me. The vampires that you were so happy to keep in your employ...without the life blood of others to keep them going, they would shamble to a halt. If it's a monster you want, look no further than Alucard , and this little one, playing at immortality. Don't mention me in the same breath as that fraud. The moment I am propelled by my own unadulterated will, I become heir to something Alucard can only steal. Even if I were reduced to nothing more than a brain in a jar, synapses firing in a sea of pure thought... I am human just like you are. Within me rests a human soul...and a human's will, precious beyond all worth. He smiles at you in the form of a young girl, or pulls at your heartstrings in the form of a weary veteran. So many faces the monster has, and all of them stolen, all of them lies. I despise him. Every cell in my body called for his annihilation. So I destroyed his kingdom and cast him down into the dust. Fitting that it took a man with the trappings of a monster, to slay a monster with the trappings of a man. He was a casualty to my will. 'My enemy is not human. My enemy is less than a human.' Since the earliest dawning of mankind, this is the just happened to be more literal in my case. That battlecry...those thoughts are running through your thoughts right now, aren't they? I planted the seeds of this war half a century, show me what has blossomed.

Integra: You're wrong. No one will think of this as a war. This was... just... an exchange of bullets. The death rattle of a sad lunatic half a century past his prime. I hardly think of you as a proper opponent. You needed to be put down, Major. Of that, there is no doubt. For all your talk of humanity, there wasn't a shred of it left to be found in you. Perhaps there never was. You died as you lived: a cowardly beast. A monster's reign of terror may be bloody and long... (takes a puff of a cigar as the room lights on fire) ...but it's only a matter of time before they fall. Foolish creature. Mankind is a slave to duty, and there is no greater duty than to purge one's enemy from the Earth. Your humanity was nothing but a pale façade. Alucard can't be bested by such imposters.

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