Quotes / Ashens and the Quest for the Game Child

Nobody plays the game better

But no one could play it much worse

You alone know these rules to the letter

And they spell out your mission and curse

Obsolete hardware from years ago

Finding it all is your aim

From thrift stores to eBay to antique road shows

Adventure is your favourite game

Oh, and Ashens is your naaaaame

But where will this lead in the end?

For no man is an island of tat

Perhaps what you need is a friend

Could you imagine that?

Your mission's about to begin

If you don't lose then you might just win

We're rooting for you

You odd little bearded prat

Terrible hardware from years gone by

Worthless old relics you claim

There's one left to get

Now don't give in and cry

Adventure is your favourite game

Oh, and Ashens is your name

— Theme tune

"I've seen the stuff you do on YouTube, you know! Reviewing bits of tat on a brown sofa? It's not exactly The Matrix, is it? Maybe the third one."

— Chef Excellence