- "Mom Really Funny Today"
- "Stoner Uncle All The Kids' Favorite"
- "Work Friend Accidentally Becomes Real Friend". For anyone whose dealt with loneliness, this one gives a lot of optimism that you can find the perfect friend even just by accident.
- "Genuine Love And Respect Only Thing Holding Area Relationship Together"
- "Father Only Expresses Love Through Concern For Proper Tire Inflation"
- "My Dad Is A Army Guy vs. I Am A Army Guy"
- "Mom Just Called To Make Sure You're Not Under That Dangling Crane" Thanks, Mom!
- The entire post 9/11 issue. The company had just moved to New York City from Madison. They were at a total loss as to what to do, then they decided to come out with one of their most famous issues ever, covering all sorts of reactions. While silly in tone the entire message was "we're feeling it too, but we're going to keep going".
- After the December 14, 2012 Connecticut school shooting: "It Okay to Spend Rest of Day Curled in Fetal Position Under Desk".
- "God Help Him, But Area Man Loves That Crazy Bitch"
- "Report: Dad Proud of You; He Won't Say It, But It's True"
- "Deciding Vote On Wetlands Preservation Bill Rests With The Littlest Senator".
- "I Feel Very Strongly About The Issue Of Same Sex Marriage Because I Have A Gay Son" by God.
- "Roger Ebert Hails Human Existence As 'A Triumph'", written after the announcement of his passing.
- Meteorologists Report Sky Just A Little Bluer Today, And Its Because Minneapolis Resident Doug Bramowskis In Love
- "Entire Nation Pitches In To Save Yosemite"
- The Onion also pay tribute to many deceased people who have inspired many and changed history who had fought against injustice. Case in point, Nelson Mandela Becomes First Politician To Be Missed (doubles as a Tear Jerker though).
- "Kid With Rough Home Life Gives Mickey Extra Long Hug"
- "Report: Everyone Youve Ever Had A Crush On Secretly Had A Crush On You, They Still Do, And Theyre Waiting For You"
- "Sunny Saves Bo From Mountain Lion During Cross-Country Journey To Reunite With Obamas" is heartwarming and hilarious
- After the Chicago Cubs won the World Series in 2016, this article emerged. Once the win happened, millions of deceased Cubs fan began a celebratory riot in Heaven. Though it's funny at the same time (especially at the end where it's announced that hundreds of fans have been sent to Hell as a result of the riot), it also warms the heart because all these dedicated fans can still celebrate the fact that their team finally won it all, even from beyond the land of the living.
- "Breakfast In Bed Served To Mom Who Just Got Eaten Out", published on Mother's Day 2018. Yes, the joke is that the article is NSFW, but it's obvious that this is a loving, happy family.
- "Spacecraft Travel From All Over Galaxy To Honor End Of Opportunity Rover's Life"
- "Literary Historians Uncover Collection Of Breezy, Upbeat Edgar Allan Poe Writings Penned After Author Took Up Jogging".
- "Grandma Wants To Know If Youre Still Drawing"
Heartwarming / The Onion