Funny / Vision of Escaflowne Abridged

• Van's reaction to when Merle first shows up.
  Merle: Lord Van!
  Van: Oh God here it comes! (Merle glomps him)
  Merle: Oh Lord Van, I missed you and I was so worried. I want to have your genetically abnormal babies! *Merle licks his face*
  Van: I swear, as soon as I'm king, you're chinese food.
  Merle: ... What?
  Van: Nothing.
• The lampooning of the idea that Giant Mecha with Invisibility Cloaks are in any way practical.
  Guard: Watch out! Those guymelefs could be anywhere!
  *Giant footprints appear in the ground, accompanied by thunderous booming.*
  Guard: Yes! Absolutely anywhere!
• When trying to receive permission for Zaibach to enter Astoria, Dilandau makes multiple ridiculous demands while hoping that they'll be turned down and he'll have an excuse to violently invade them. Allen accepts every demand except the one where he's required to turn down one of Dilandau's requests so that the latter have a pretext to do an invasion.
• After being confronted that his claims that the deaths of two soldiers pushed Folken to defect sounded suspicious, considering he was responsible for killing thousands of his kinsmen by masterminding the invasions of several countries, he pointed out they were Incestuous, Bisexual, Identical Twin, Ninja Catgirls with Big Breasts. This instantly convinces the entire room.

  Allen: I'll be in my quarters. No visitors.

  • Also this, set to the 80's Ninja Turtles theme:
    Incestuous Bisexual Ninja Catgirls,
    Incestuous Bisexual Ninja Catgirls,
    Incestuous Bisexual Ninja Catgirls,
    Smoking Hot Catgirls, Holy crap!
• This exchange:

  Allen: Wait, this is crossing the line? Going over to Zaibach, invading Fanelia and Fried, killing your mentor, kidnapping and drugging you. All that stuff was cool, but this is eternal vengeance territory?
  Van: Is there a problem with that?
  Allen: Just making sure I understand you.

• Dornkirk and Folken. All the time.
  Folken: I beg your pardon my lord, I must have something stupid in my ear. Because it sounds like you just said you didn't expect an equal and opposite reaction!
  Dornkirk: Nope.
  (beat)
  Folken: Sir, with all due respect... You're ISAAC FUCKING NEWTON!
  (beat)
  Dornkirk: So... found the dragon yet?
• Hitomi tries to comfort Van during his angst coma.
  Hitomi: See? Merle likes you!
  Van: Oh great, now I think I'll just stay here forever. (inner world goes to hell)
• Kaiserneko's awesome voice acting.
  Van: Dilandau?! You're a scab?!
  Dilandau: Hell yes I'm a scab! Killing things is its own reward, and HEALTHCARE BE DAMNED!!
• The scene where Zaibach uses the Destiny Prognostication Engine to make Allen and Hitomi fall in love with each other.
  Eriya controlling Hitomi: Make dirty interspecies love to me Lord Folken!
  Hitomi: Oh my god. Why did I say that?
  Allen: Baby, as long as you say it like that, you can call me whatever you want!
  Dornkirk: Oy! You just can't break character like that! They have to think that this was their idea or it won't work!
  • later
  Dornkirk: Careful, Folken...
  Folken controlling Allen: Shut up, old man! I know what I'm doing.
  Hitomi: What?
• The fact that Millerna and Dryden's wedding takes place on Friday the 13th on the 13th month of the Asturian calendar in the year 1313 at 1313 military time