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The third The Abridged Series from hbi2k. Take The Vision of Escaflowne, turn Hitomi Genre Savvy, make Van Wrong Genre Savvy, make Allen even more of a Casanova, and turn the Big Bad into a Cloudcuckoo Lander (not Dilandau, who's just as crazy as in the original series). VEA is easily hbi2k's most ambitious series in terms of production values and voice acting.

The Trope Namer for Angst Coma and Passive Aggressive Combat.

Now finished, it delivers the laughs as well as the earlier series, Gantz Abridged and Berserk Abridged. Courtesy link.

Provides examples of:

  • 13 Is Unlucky: Taken to extremes when Dryden and Millerna's wedding takes place on Friday the 13th of the thirteenth month of the Asturian calendar in the year 1313 at 1313 military time.
  • Abandoned Catchphrase: Hitomi's "the what?" and "wait, what now?", which she pretty much drops after the first episode.
  • Achievement In Ignorance:
    Van: Now, to return home the way I got here.
    Hitomi: I thought you didn't know how you got here?
    Van: Right, that way.
  • Adaptation Displacement: In-Universe, Van is a big fan of The Lord of the Rings...yet he doesn't even know there was a book series by that name.
    Van: What's that from? I'm trying to reference The Lord of the Rings here.
    Mole-Man: That was from The Lord of the Rings.
    Van: No it wasn't! I should know, I watched all three extended editions back-to-back once. Best two years of my life!
    Mole-Man: Bah, you dammed kids and your Peter Jackson...
  • Affectionate Parody: hbi2k pokes fun at the show's sillier elements, but with clear fondness and respect for the source material. To the point that it goes into Sincerity Mode when Hitomi returns with Van to Gaea, and then Van's Endearingly Dorky proposal to Hitomi, to the point that many fans consider the Abridged Ending to be better.
  • All Girls Want Bad Boys: Hitomi points this out to Van when has trouble trying to be Wangsty over his evil brother.
    Hitomi: Wow, Van, that's actually a really mature and well-adjusted way to look at it...
    Van: Hey, thanks!
    Hitomi: ...And do you know how many fangirls mature, well-adjusted characters usually get?
    Van: Fifty thousand!
    Hitomi: Lower.
    Van: Five hundred?
    Hitomi: Lower.
    Van: Square root of negative one?
    Hitomi: ...Okay, higher and...less imaginary.
    Van: ...Zero?
    Hitomi: Bingo! Now, angst! Angst like you've never angsted before!
  • Analogy Backfire: Dornkirk has trouble with one in episode 18.
    Emperor Dornkirk: Look, you can't bake a cake without breaking a few eggs!
    Hitomi: Yes, you can. My Grandma used to make me vegan cake all the time!
    Dornkirk: You can? Folken! Did you know you can bake a cake without breaking any eggs?
    Folken: Yes my lord, yes you can.
    Dornkirk: Do you think that means we should stop killing people?
    Folken: No my lord, I think you just need a better metaphor.
    Dornkirk: Oi, yight! Look, you can't test cosmetics without killing a few bunnies!
    Hitomi: Yes! Yes, you can!
    Dornkirk: Folken! Did you know-
    Folken: Omelet, my lord!
    Dornkirk: Folken says you can't make an omelet without killing a few bunnies.
    Hitomi: That's just stupid.
    Dornkirk: Oi! I will not sit here and listen to you call Folken stupid!
  • And This Is for...: Parodied in the fight leading to the Angst Coma.
    Van This is for Freid!
    Dilandau Cesta!
    Van For Balgus!
    Dilandau S- Stop that!
    Van For my parents!
    Dilandau What the hell, man?! We didn't even do anything to your parents!
  • Angrish: In episode 12, Dornkirk becomes angry upon learning that Hitomi's powers could have saved him all the time and effort he sunk into building his own fate alteration engine.
    • Folken has to take a moment to compose himself when he realized the months he sunk into building his own teleportion machine were rendered pointless since Hitomi can teleport him anywhere with her pendant.
  • Angst Coma: The Trope Namer. Van goes into one after Escaflowne is damaged, and Dilandau after Van slaughters his/her Dragon Slayers.
  • Angst? What Angst?: Lampshaded In-Universe:
    Hitomi: Oh yeah, I guess I just don't think about [Van's tragic backstory] because you're all happy-go-lucky all the time. I mean, would it kill you to mope about it a little more?
  • Authority in Name Only: Dornkirk
  • Awesome, but Impractical: Fanelia's method of powering their Guymelefs. Beautifully lampshaded in this exchange:
    Van: That's why I had to kill a dragon before I could claim Escaflowne and become king. In a war, the side with the most energists usually wins.
    Hitomi: ... Huh. And Zaibach mines them in mass quantities?
    Van: Yup!
    Hitomi: And your people get them by killing live dragons in single combat?
    Van: Yup! ... (Beat) When you put it that way, it sounds pretty stupid, huh?
    Hitomi: A little bit, yeah.
  • Awesome Music: In-Universe lampshaded by Van, who often sings along to the canon series Ethereal Choir, often with his own lyrics.
    Van: Esca... flowne! Esca... flowne! My badass mech lets me fiiight Zaibaaach...!
    Van: (in sync with the music sting) Angsty, angsty, combat! Angsty, angsty, combat!
  • Ax-Crazy: Dilandau to the max.
  • Bad Liar: Allen sucks at hiding the whole "bastard child with Marlene" thing.
  • Bad Boss: Dilandau to his subordinates.
    Dilandau: How do you like that?! That wasn't just a bitch-slap, that was a closed-fist sucker-punch, mother-fucker!
  • Bait-and-Switch: Dryden needs a book that Allen owns, but Allen won't give it up. Millerna offers to get it for him.
    Dryden: Do I want to know how you intend to do that?
    Millerna: A woman never reveals her methods. (Unzips blouse.)
    (Cut to later, fully clothed.)
    Millerna: Hey Allen, we're totally out of toilet paper. Can I borrow this book?
    Allen: Sure.
    Millerna: Killer.
  • Barbie Doll Anatomy: Lampshaded by Zonghi.
    Folken: Zonghi, what have I told you about wearing pants?
    Zonghi: That it is a foolish hu-man custom, and that I should display my lack of genitalia proudly.
  • Be Careful What You Wish For: "God, this class is boring... I should have known without all the wars and giant robots and stuff, this would be just another tedious Slice of Life show..."
  • Berserk Button: Played for Laughs with Allen.
    Moleman: That's strange, usually with these chronic womanizer types, it's the mother they have issues with.
    Allen: My mother was a saint. YOU TAKE THAT BACK, YOU SON-OF-A-BITCH!
    Allen's Men: Ha ha, sounds like somebody pushed the Mommy Button.
  • Blasphemous Boast
    Hitomi: Allen, you took a tentacle attack for me!
    Allen: Kinda makes what Jesus did seem pretty piddly, doesn't it?
    Hitomi: Hey, don't make fun of Jesus! Blasphemy's a sin.
    Allen: Yeah, but didn't Jesus die for those? Think what a waste that'd be if I never committed any.
  • Blatant Lies: All over the place, but especially this gem:
    Van: (from within a crowd) Zaibach sucks!
    Dilandau: Did I just hear a pretext for invasion?!
    Allen: No, that was a... mouse.
    Dilandau: Oh, all right. I'll just be leaving then...
  • Blood Knight: Van loves pointless fight sequences.
  • Brain Bleach: Episode 16 has Hitomi's furious mental request for mental soap upon learning that Allen might be her second cousin.
  • But Now I Must Go: Defied at the end. When Hitomi tells Van she has to return home eventually and he gets bummed, she quickly clarifies that it doesn't have to be forever since she has a magic "instantly teleport anywhere" pendant, and "since Gaea runs on Narnia Time," she can easily juggle both lives.
    Hitomi: What? No. What kind of a weak, cop-out ending would that be?
  • Calling the Old Man Out: Allen pulls no punches when he meets his father's ghost.
  • The Cameo: Ghost Nappa!
    • Zuko and Iroh appear in Merle's mind the first time Hitomi is kidnapped, the second time Katara and Sokka appear.
    Katara: Do something optimistic!
    Sokka: Do something skeptical! It's what SCIENCE would want.
  • Captain Obvious
    Van: Hey, Hitomi, you're a girl, right?
  • Catchphrase: "Snickety Slice!"
    • Which in itself is from Tenacious D Wolverine Mallrats various places.
    • And, of course, "Beefcake!"
    • Van and Hitomi throw some flak at each other for their catchphrases
    Hitomi: Was it all just a dream? Or maybe a vision...No, it was re-
    Van: Whoa, whoa! Is that supposed to be your catchphrase or something? Because you sound like Descartes after a big, heaping helping of stupid.
    Hitomi: What about you? "Snickety slice"? What are you, Wolverine's inbred stoner cousin?
    • Dornkirk has "OI! FOLKEN!"
  • Character Development: Van starts off as a self-absorbed jerk who's pretty dismissive toward women, but over the series he learns empathy, humility, and respect for women. Just compare the way he treats Hitomi in the first episode to the finale.
  • Characterization Marches On: Van starts off as a self-centered jerk who's pretty rude and dismissive to women in the first few episodes, but becomes a happy-go-lucky dumbass in later episodes. hbi2k admitted in Commentary that he wasn't sure how much of a jerk to make Van in the early episodes.
  • Chocolate Baby: Technically vanilla... "Prince Chid is my son... What? My genes are just recessive, that's all. All of them!
  • Cloud Cuckoo Lander: Dornkirk.
  • Corpsing: In-universe, Hitomi breaks down laughing every time she tries to call Duke Freid "Chid's father," because of what an obvious Chocolate Baby he is.
  • Couch Gag: The Opening Theme.
  • Covert Pervert: Hitomi. "Yes! Make me a woman, mysterious naked savior!"
  • Crack Pairing: In-universe, Folken x Hitomi is treated as this.
    Folken: I shall seduce Hitomi.
    Dornkirk: Don't be stoopid, Folken. You've never even had a scene together! Who'd believe a pairing like that?
    Hitomi: (trying not to laugh) Oh no, I'm glad I didn't have to... resist your charms...
    Folken: (offended) I could have done it!
  • Damned By a Fool's Praise: Van wants to stay in his Angst Coma because he thinks no one likes him.
    Hitomi: See? Merle likes you.
    Van: Oh great, now I think I'll just stay in here forever! *inner world goes to hell*
  • The Dark Side
    • Embrace the Shoujo side of the fandom!
  • Death Equals Redemption: Allen's father's ghost hopes for a literal case. Subverted when it doesn't.
    Allen's father: Can you forgive me, son?
    Allen: Hell no! You're a horrible person who abandoned his family to hook up with an underage girl. Just because you got your idiot self killed right after doesn't change that.
  • Delayed Reaction:
    Allen: Van, I wanted to let you know that I've asked Hitomi to marry me.
    Van: Oh, that's cool. So I was thinking if I charged forward with the ground troops and hold the line, do you think you could bring the airship around in a flanking maneuver and—WAIT, WHAT?!
  • Description Cut: Folken warns Van that Dilandau is crazy and NOT to get on his bad side.
    Van: That's cool. I mean, we've had to fight a couple of times, but he knows it's nothing personal.
    (Cut to Dilandau obsessively stroking the cut on his cheek that Van gave him in their previous battle, psychotically counting down the seconds until he can kill Van.)
  • Determinator: Spoofed with Van.
    Van: I'll never run from an enemy! ...Except for that one time when I ran from an enemy and ended up here. But that's the limit of my running from enemies!
  • Deus ex Machina: Lampshaded in the finale when Asturia asks The Cavalry not to use the alchemy bomb on Zaibach because the whole situation seems like one of these. This prompts the commander to a rant about all the blood, sweat, and tears the army had expended in acquiring and arming the bomb, justifying it as an established plot point. Unfortunately, it seems the whole thing was cut for screen time. He drops it anyway.
  • Didn't Think This Through: Dornkirk all the time.
    Dornkirk: For years, I've dreamed about it, and now: Oi am going to eat it!
    Hitomi: But you can't eat a sandwich, you're dead!
    Dornkirk: Oh-hohoho! Oh, say, that's roight. That's an egg on moy face, innit? Oi really should have thought this through before plunging the entire world into war.
  • Don't Explain the Joke: "Oh, by the way, this is Merle. We keep her around because she's so good at detecting irony."
  • Does Not Understand Sarcasm: Several characters, particularly Van and Dornkirk.
  • Does This Remind You of Anything?: "But I thought the G-spot was in the Mystic Valley"
    • "It was... (but) the metaphor broke down."
    • Men getting into giant mechas with swords that rise vertically from their sheeths. Lampshaded in the first episode.
    Hitomi: Seriously, do I even need to make a compensation joke?
  • Double Entendre: The group has fun throwing these over Prince Chid's head when he innocently decides to comment on Allen's "weapon."
    Chid: How strange. She always said you had the largest weapon of any man in Asturia, but your sword is quite normal sized....
    Van: * snort* She must not have seen many men's weapons.
    Hitomi: Van...
    Millerna: What Van means is that this sword is just for everyday use.
    Allen: Yeah, my other weapon is for everynight use.
    Millerna: Allen!
    Chid: Ooh! May I see this every-night weapon?
    Allen: Oh, uh, no. I only unsheathe that one when I come upon a beautiful maiden in distress.
    Chid: You come upon a beautiful maiden every night?
    Allen: Sometimes twice, if I'm not too-
    Hitomi and Millerna: SHUT UP ALLEN!
  • Dreaming of Things to Come
    Hitomi: Van!? You're the mysterious naked savior?
    Van: Naked? You wish. My wings can come out just fine with my pants still on, thankyouverymuch.
  • Eats Babies: Dilandau Snacks.
  • Entendre Failure
    Allen: Hey Van, you strike out with the ladies tonight too?
    Van: No, I haven't played baseball in years.
  • Everyone Has Standards: Allen considers seducing Merle by convincing her to have revenge sex with him to get back at Van for liking Hitomi, but even he can't bring himself to do it.
    Allen: Nope, can't do it. Even I can't hit on a 12-year-old Cat Girl.
  • Exact Words: "If you're truly my son, you'll guard this treasure with your life and the lives of all those that follow you!" Too bad for Duke Freid that Chid is an obvious Chocolate Baby.
    • Earlier, we get this beauty of a conversation.
    Dilandau: Enough of that, where is Miguel?
    Zongi: He made a foolish escape attempt and was killed.
    Dilandau:: You disappoint me, Zongi. Your orders were to rescue him and return him to me, unharmed.
    Zongi: My orders were to discredit Allen Schezar, and I have carried them out... faithfully.
    Dilandau: Those that cannot obey my orders must be punished.
    Dilandau: Of course, I would not dream of giving you one of my little love-taps.
    Zongi: Good, because I...
    Dilandau: Squish.
  • Executive Meddling: Brought up In-Universe.
    Van: The reason you're confused is that the network decided to skip the first episode. It seems that certain...elements didn't test well among that crucial, "Has a Penis," demographic.
    Hitomi: And that was more important to them than maintaining continuity in the plot?
    Van: You're watching Fox.
  • Everyone Can See It: Van is the last person to know about his feelings for Hitomi, because of how dense he is.
    Merle: Lord Van, I love you... but you can be such an idiot sometimes!
  • Fantastic Racism: Subverted. There are no racists on Gaea, except that one jerk the sexy ninja catgirls ran into when they were kittens, and some random lunatic in an asylum.
  • Fetish: Lampshaded with the "Incestuous Bisexual Ninja Cat Girls!" With big breasts. Who once dressed up in little maid outfits on Folken's birthday.
  • Fix Fic: The Abridged series can easily be seen as this to the canon series, since it pokes fun at the show's sillier elements while staying true to the spirit of the source material, and fixes the show's ending by having Hitomi realize she can use her magical "instant teleport anywhere" pendant that "runs on Narnia time" to easily juggle life on both Gaea and Earth, and ends with her and Van getting together.
  • Foreshadowing:
    Folken: "Fuck you, Dilandau. Fuck you right in your vagina."
    Dilandau: "...What an odd thing to say...."
  • From the Mouths of Babes: Prince Chid, in a deleted scene.
    Allen: Not intimately... I mean not biblically! ...I mean, y-yeah, we met.
    Chid: Did you f*ck her or not? God, jeez, come on, be decisive.
  • Gambit Roulette: The events of the entire series were all part of an elaborate plan by Dornkirk in order to make a sandwich.
  • Genius Ditz: Dornkirk, especially considering he's The Inventor of the Fig Newton and the deadliest Sunuvabitch in space.
  • Genre Savvy: The show has a field day playing with this. For one thing, Hitomi uses this to fake still having Psychic Powers when her actual ones are temporarily blocked.
  • Gibberish of Love: Van to Hitomi at the end. His first attempt of asking her out sounds like a marriage proposal, and then he fumbles through asking for dinner and a movie. When she informs him that she can't stay forever but can easily juggle life on both Gaea and Earth and would happily go out with him, Van is so happy he's speechless.
    Van: Y-y-you mean you... y-you and me, we...? W-we can..? Oh! Mm! (pulls her into a hug) Van do good?
    Hitomi: (smiles and hugs him back) Face it, Tiger. You just hit the jackpot.
  • Go-Karting with Bowser
    Van: Oh, hi, Dilandau!
    Dilandau: "Hi, Dilandau?" You are facing the implacable enemy who has dogged your footsteps since you've left your homeland, and all you can say is, "Hi, Dilandau!?"
    Van: Um... it's... nice to see you?
  • Good Is Not Soft: Hitomi is sweet, but not above siccing Van on people who try to steal her intro.
    Creepy Hand: Oh, please! I need the money. I'm just a former child prostitute trying to get by.
    Hitomi: Yeah, you and everyone else. Get him, Van!
    Van: (cuts off his hand)
  • Graceful Loser: Dornkirk takes the news that he can't eat the sandwich he spent years plunging Gaia into war to make surprisingly well, as well as his defeat at the hands of Van and Hitomi with good humor.
    Dornkirk: I had my chance to build a perfect world, but you crazy kids beat me fair and square!
  • Handsome Lech: Allen and his Alternate Reality Counterpart Amano. "If there's one thing I can't stand, it's ugly old men trying to take advantage of young girls. That's for us beautiful men to do."
  • Has a Type: "Seriously, what is it with you Fanel boys and cat girls, anyway?"
  • Heel–Face Turn: Folken defects because he's sick of the emperor's bullshit.
  • Hell-Bent for Leather
    Dilandau: "Damn, I'm sexy. Why haven't I worn leather pants before?"
  • I Am Not My Father: Allen doesn't think so. Hitomi begs to differ.
  • I Am Your Father
    Folken: Van, I am your brother!
    Van: That's not true, that's-wait, yes it is, hey bro!
  • If I Wanted X, I Would Y: Spoofed in episode 5, with the ever-so-convenient random anime Take That! generator.
    Van: "If I wanted to sleep through half of the episode, I would have watched..."
  • Ignored Epiphany: Played for Laughs. In episode 24, Van assures Hitomi that she was right, he's been fighting for all the wrong reasons and he's done with pointless action scenes. When they return to Gaea and two nearby soldiers describe how pointless the slaughter was, Van chirps that that's his favorite kind! Hitomi asks if it's too late to return to earth.
  • I Have This Friend: Done transparently by Millerna. Then spoofed to the ground when we meet Schmallen and Schmitomi. She didn't answer her phone, because Shmuck you.
  • I'll Be in My Bunk: After Folken describes how hot his catgirl girlfriends were, Allen asks if they ever wore little maid outfits. Folken says they did once, for his birthday. Allen responds that he'll be in his room, no visitors.
  • Incest Yay Shipping: In-universe lampshaded with a brief chorus of "Incestuous Angelic Bishōnen Princes!" to the tune of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles theme, to lampshade fangirls' tendency to pair them up.
  • Innocent Fanservice Girl: Many guys comment on Hitomi's "appealingly short skirt," which just earns a confused reaction. Then not-so-innocent when she breaks Van out of an Angst Coma by threatening to start wearing pants.
    Van: Your bedside manner sucks, Kenzaki.
    Hitomi: Don't argue with results, Fanel.
  • Innocent Innuendo: V Card does not mean what you think it means.
  • Innocently Insensitive: Played for Laughs with Millerna, who has this to say the episode right after Folken reveals to Van he joined Zaibach...
    Millerna: Oh hey, I've met you [Van]. I visited Fanelia when I was very young. How's your brother? I only knew him for a short while, but he seemed like the kind of person who would never betray his homeland to an evil expansionist empire.
    Van: Oh yeah, that's him. Good old "Folken, the Anti-Judas" we used to call him.
  • Insane Troll Logic: Hitomi in the second round of Passive-Aggressive Kombat.
  • Instantly Proven Wrong: Van warns Hitomi to be careful handling Magic: The Gathering cards since he heard they're spiked with hallucinogens so you trip out while you play. Hitomi dismisses it as an urban legend, only to start tripping out immediately.
    Hitomi: Ooh, shiny... (later) Okay, but Count Chocula and his army of Jewish werewolves have to stay here.
    Van: Urban legend, riiight...
  • Intimate Healing
    Van: That's right! How did you heal Allen back then?
    Millerna: I don't know, all I did was touch him inappropriately...
    Van: Worth a try!
  • It's All About Me: Van starts off pretty full of himself, but learns empathy and humility over the series.
  • Ironic Echo: Dornkirk to Folken in the finale.
  • It's Personal: It has to take a Cat Girl kidnapping Hitomi to get Van to say this....
    Allen: Wait, this is crossing the line? Going over to Zaibach, invading Fanelia and Freid, killing your mentor, kidnapping and drugging you. All that stuff was cool, but this is eternal vengeance territory?
    Van: Is there a problem with that?
    Allen: Just making sure I understand you.
  • I Want My Beloved to Be Happy: Yukari's projecting just a wee bit too much...
    Yukari: He's the most desirable Bishōnen in school! If you don't make a move now, you may never get another chance!
    Hitomi: Uh, actually, it sounds like you're really into him. Are you sure you don't want to make a move on him?
    Yukari: No! You've loved Amano for years! I could never stand in the way of your happiness...
    Hitomi: Actually, I just met him today. Are you sure you're not projecting just a little?
    Yukari: ...Okay, Hitomi. If it's for my best friend, I guess I have no choice. I'll stand aside, and give you a chance at happiness with Amano!
    Hitomi: Um, okay....
    • Done again by Dryden to Millerna in the finale. Subverted in that their culture doesn't recognize divorce, and she doesn't hook up with Allen afterward.
    • Played straight with Van, who is willing to step aside for Hitomi twice. First so she can be with Allen, then when he thinks she's about to go home forever.
  • Jerk with a Heart of Gold: Hitomi thinks Van is this in Episode 04, but is Instantly Proven Wrong.
    Hitomi: Aw, he pretends to be a self-absorbed jerk, but he really does care about...
    Guard: Raise the alarm! The Zaibach are invading!
    Van: Oh, thank God! I was about to go insane from boredom back there!
    Merle: You were saying?
  • Jive Turkey: Dilandau's late-series hench-beastman, Jajuka, talks like an especially irritable urban stereotype. Don't call him Toby.
  • Karma Houdini: Dilandau, who in the finale is the new Emperor/Empress of Zaibach, and gets to spend all day bitch slapping people, making people bitch slap each other, and maybe even taking a few him/herself.
    Dilandau: I love my life!
  • Kissing Cousins: Allen's mental response to learning he might be Hitomi's second cousin
    Allen: Still legal. All right!
  • Lack of Empathy: Van. When he does develop some empathy in one episode, he's convinced it's a superpower.
  • Leitmotif: Kefka's theme plays pretty much anytime Dilandau is onscreen.
    • Also Darth Vader's theme from Star Wars for Folken, Setzer's theme for Allen, Gestahl's theme for Dornkirk, and several others.
  • Like Father, Like Son: Allen hates his father for abandoning his son and the mother of his children, who died. Allen himself fathered an illegitimate child he wasn't there for, whose mother died. Lampshaded by Hitomi.
    Hitomi: Would you like a towel to mop up all that irony you're dripping with?
  • Literal-Minded: VAN, especially when his brother explains why he turned to the Dark Side.
    Van: Hey, how come you're with Zaibach, anyway? YOU were supposed to be the king of Fanelia, not me!
    Van: OH! (Beat) Wait, who are you then?
    Folken: NOT. Literally.
    Van: OH!
    Folken: I died during the dragon-slaying ritual!
    Van: Are you a ghost?
    Folken: I. SYMBOLICALLY. died, during the dragon-slaying ritual. When the dragon took this arm from me!
    Van: Wow, the dragon took your mechanical arm? How did you get it back?
    Folken (sighs): No, the dragon took my real arm, and Dornkirk replaced it with this one. THAT'S how I turned to the Dark Side.
  • Locked Out of the Loop: Van in this version didn't know Folken became The Dragon to Zaiback because he thought he was still in grad school.
  • Lovable Sex Maniac: Allen is depicted as one of these.
    Hitomi: You know, Allen, someday you're going to make some lucky nymphomaniac very happy.
  • Love Epiphany: Downplayed. Hitomi spends most of the series mooning over Allen, but when she returns to Earth, she realizes she's so bored with normal life that she has to return to Gaea, but also wishes to "break off a piece of [her] own," or be with Van.
  • Love Makes You Dumb: The normally Genre Savvy Hitomi has a huge blind spot when it comes to Allen. See Selective Obliviousness.
  • Male Gaze: As seen on episode 2.
    Amano: (focusing on Hitomi's chest) Mmmm, nice!
    Hitomi: Oh, do you like my pendant?
    Amano: Uh, yeah. Nice...pendant!
  • A Mech by Any Other Name
    Hitomi: Well, that's confusing. Can't we just call them all mecha?
    Allen: Ha! Good one. And while we're at it, why don't we call anime "cartoons" and manga "comic books?"
    Hitomi: Hey, yeah — why don't we?
    Allen: ...I'm still trying to get into that tiny skirt of yours, so I'm going to pretend that I didn't hear you say that.
  • Mentor Occupational Hazard: General Balgus, like in canon, to the point that he quotes one of the most famous examples in Western media while doing so.
  • A Million Is a Statistic: Discussed.
    Folken: I became disillusioned when Dornkirk's recklessness killed two of my colleagues.
    Dryden: You masterminded Freid and Fanalia's invasions, and killed thousands of your countrymen, and we're supposed to believe that the deaths of two soldiers made you want to defect?
  • Million to One Chance
    Zonghi: Brother! NOOOO! Oh, cruel fate, what are the odds!? ...No, seriously — the odds against this happening must be astronomical.
  • Mistreatment-Induced Betrayal: Miguel tries, bless his soul. Dilandau's frequent bitchslapping causes him to want to defect to the first person that doesn't hit him for no reason, but the Zaiback spy sent to oversee him keeps him in line. And then kills him.
  • Mook–Face Turn: Miguel again. The promise of not being bitchslapped is so powerful that he breaks character while pretending to be under hypnosis just to ask if he can defect to Fried.
    Miguel: I-I love you! Can I, I mean, I am a loyal servant of Zaibach and am answering your questions only because I am under hypnosis.
  • Mundane Made Awesome: Hitomi and Millerna don't directly argue over Allen, but the series presents it as though it were a knock-down, drag-out brawl.
  • A Nazi by Any Other Name: Zaibach, an "evil expansionist empire" who address their Emperor as "Mein Furer."
    Freid Priest: I can't believe Zaibach would attack us. We thought they'd stop after invading Poland.
    Van: Don't you mean Fanelia?
    Freid Priest: Potato, tomato...
  • New Powers as the Plot Demands:
    • Hitomi questions why Van has wings at one point; he explains that thanks to being "an awesome Shonen action hero", he has lots of powers. Hitomi's response is to wonder if the wings are genetic.
    • "Well, that's bullshit! First you get Hitomi's seeing powers, and now my healing? What are you gonna steal next, Allen's sex appeal?"
  • No Fourth Wall: Obviously. When Hitomi's Seer abilities are temporarily suppressed, she decides to find Van by going into Omniscient Narrator Mode.
  • Not Distracted by the Sexy: Like in canon, Folken barely reacts to the Incestuous Bisexual Ninja Catgirls with big breasts throwing themselves at him. That's the joke.
  • No Yay: In-universe, discussed by Dornkirk and Folken.
    Folken: My brother and that girl make a ridiculously cute couple. And the more time they get to develop their little "relationship," the less time we get to carry out our plans.
    Dornkirk: Well, that is a problem. What do we do?
    Folken: Simple: We cock-block my brother. Break the two of them up and replace Vantomi with a couple so awkward, so totally lacking in chemistry, that once established, it will get no screentime whatsoever.
    Dornkirk: You mean...?
    Folken: Yes: I shall seduce Hitomi.
    Dornkirk: Don't be stoopid, Folken! You've never even had a scene together! Who'd believe a pairing like that?
    Folken: Hm, perhaps you're right. Then we've got to find someone else to pair her up with. Someone older, enough to be creepy, but not enough to be unrealistic...
    Dornkirk: If he's a Bishōnen, the male fans will hate him.
    Folken: Yes, but the female fans need a reason to hate him too. What if we chose a chronic womanizer who treats women like objects?
    Dilandau: Oh, I know someone like what you just said! Allen Shezar!
  • Offscreen Moment of Awesome: As part of the potshots against the Fox run, we have the missed fight with the dragon.
    Van: I, Van Fanel, have completed the task of dragon slaying! He was all, like, "GRRRR! FWOOSH!" and I was all like, "No way!" and then I went, "SNICKETY SLICE!" and I cut out his heart!
    Red Shirt 1: Wow, that sounds badass!
    Red Shirt 2: I wish everyone could have seen it!
    Van: Yeah... Me too.
  • The Omniscient Council of Vagueness: So vague, in fact, that even half of the Council itself isn't quite sure what they're talking about.
    Folken:Yeah...Once again, if my lord could perhaps be a bit more specific....
  • One True Pairing: Vantomi. In-universe lampshaded by Folken, who observes that they make such a "ridiculously cute couple" that any other pairing would be so unpopular that it wouldn't get any screen time.
  • Only Six Faces: "It seems you've got me mixed up with someone slightly less attractive. It happens all the time, the animators only know how to draw, like, four different kinds of faces."
  • O.O.C. Is Serious Business: The normally cheerful Van can get pretty intense where Hitomi is concerned. See It's Personal.
    Hitomi: I liked you better when you were a happy-go-lucky dumbass.
    Van: And I liked you better when you weren't f*cking Allen.
  • Open Secret: Pretty much everyone knows Chid is Allen's bastard.
  • Opposites Attract: Genre Savvy Hitomi and Wrong Genre Savvy Van make, in Folken's words, "a ridiculously cute couple."
  • Overly-Long Gag: Dilandau slapping the messenger over and over again.
  • Parental Abandonment
    Balgus: Make your dead parents' rotting corpses proud, my lord!
    Van: Do you really have to put it like that?
    Balgus: I just wanted to make sure it was established that they're dead. And rotting. In their graves! ...Beefcake!
  • Passive-Aggressive Kombat: The Trope Namer, with Hitomi and Millerna's passive fighting over Allen presented as something like Mortal Kombat, complete with "-atality" puns.
  • Pet the Dog: Ax-Crazy Bad Boss though he may be, Dilandau really does care for his men. He kills Zongi for murdering Miguel, then later slips in and out of an Angst Coma after Van kills a dozen of his men.
    Folken: Turns out he really did care about those guys, who knew?
  • Plot Armor: Discussed by Van and Hitomi after they first flee Zaibach. Sure, Zaibach has an army, giant robots, and tons of soldiers, but Van is a plucky Shōnen action hero and Hitomi is a Magical School Girl, so there's no way they can lose!
  • Politeness Judo: The first round of Passive-Aggressive Kombat.
  • Poor Communication Kills: Lampshaded in the finale.
    Allen: Rather than explain my seemingly nonsensical statement, I challenge you to a fight to the death!
    Van: Rather than ask for further clarification, I accept!
    Dilandau: Boys, boys, boys! Don't fight over me! Just FIGHT ME!
  • Pyrrhic Victory: Millerna in the final round of Passive Aggressive Combat.
    Millerna: Sucker! I knew you would try to keep me away from Allen, so I resolved to do the opposite of whatever you said. I will marry Dryden.''
    Narrator: MILLERNA... WINS?
  • Quirky Miniboss Squad: Wonderfully lampshaded with the following exchange!
    Dornkirk: 'Oi! Folken! Have you found the dragon yet?
    Folken: No, my lord, and I seem to be running out of flamboyant lackeys to send after him.
    Dornkirk: Why? What's wrong with Dilandau?
    Folken: He's been slipping in and out of an Angst Coma ever since his underlings were killed. Turns out he did care about those guys; who knew? Zonghi's dead....
    Dornkirk: Have we used the gecko ninjas?
    Folken: We've used the gecko ninjas.
    Dornkirk: How about that snake guy?
    Folken: We've used the snake guy.
  • Reference Overdosed: Naturally, being an Abridged series.
  • Relationship Upgrade: Unlike in canon, Van and Hitomi get together at the end.
  • Retroactive Wish: Used twice with the help of Hitomi's MacGuffin pendant:
    • First, in episode 8, Van wishes that all the fossilized dragon hearts being mined would explode. The MacGuffin pendant makes them do so. Then he wishes for cheeseburgers to eat instead of grubs. Nothin'.
    • Then, in the next episode, Hitomi wishes that a "knight in shining armor" would save her from a tentacle monster. Cue Allen arriving in a suit of armor. Hitomi then wishes that she was back in her fantasy world where Allen gave up his womanizing ways for her. Again, nothin'.
    • Lampshaded in episode 14 when Allen hopes help would arrive to heal Van after a recent battle. A friendly caravan arrives, and Allen then wishes that there would be some sexy nurses as well. Hitomi points out that she tried it, and it doesn't work.
  • Running Gag: Various characters keep trying to steal Hitomi's opening narration.
  • Sarcasm Failure: When informed that they have Magical Cancer, Neriya and Eriya can't think of a pithy retort.
  • Selective Obliviousness: "Oh my God, is it possible that Allen's intentions towards me are less than honorable? ...Nah!"
  • Ships That Pass in the Night: In-universe lampooned by Dornkirk, who finds it ridiculous that anyone would pair Folken with Hitomi since they've never even had a scene together!
  • Shipper with an Agenda: Folken and Dornkirk use voodoo to bring Hitomi and Allen together... in order to steal their screentime.
  • Shirtless Scene: "Oooh! Manservice!"
    Dilandau: I tear my shirt off in anguish!
  • Shout-Out: To the "Beefcake!" line from South Park.
    Van: Yes! I can do the impossible!
    Hitomi: Well, see the invisible...
    Merle: RAW, RAW! FIGHT DA POWA!... * cricket chirp* ...Aww, I wanted to be part of the moment, but I killed it! Why do I kill everything I love?
    • To The Chronicles of Narnia:
      Van: First in every charge and last in every retreat, that's the motto of the kings of Fanelia!
      Folken: That's the kings of Narnia, you idiot.
      Van: We can use it too! They don't own it!
    • To The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy in the form of a sandwich made by Arthur Dent.
    • To Magic: The Gathering
      Allen: Look Hitomi, Just because I want to tap that like a Prodigal Sorcerer doesn't mean I'll risk people's lives over a hunch!
      Hitomi: How would dealing 1 damage per turn to a creature or player help? Does Zaibach use a lot of 1/1 creatures?
    • To his own Gantz Abridged in episode 2. "You know, now all I can think about is sex." After counting past six...
  • Sincerity Mode: Being an Affectionate Parody, the show slips into this occasionally.
    • First, when Hitomi returns to Gaea with Van in Episode 24, in a scene that straddles the line between parody and sincerity.
    • Then, the abridged series ending.
  • Sound-Effect Bleep: This is the only abridged series made by hbi to have that trope.
  • Strange Minds Think Alike: Van and Hitomi, who have similar reactions to being magically transported to a new planet.
    Hitomi: What's going on? Who are you? What planet is this? What are those wolf-men things? How did I get here? Why do hotdog buns come in packages of six and hotdogs come in packages of twelve...
    Van: Who are you? What planet is this? How did I get here? Why do we park on driveways and drive on parkways...
  • Super Cell Reception: "This episode of Escaflowne Abridged has been brought to you by Chekhov's Cellphone Service, bringing you more bars in more places — even on Gaia."
  • Surrounded by Idiots: Folken.
  • Surprise Incest: Hitomi and Allen are second cousins due to Allen's father having a fling with Hitomi's grandmother.
  • Suspiciously Specific Denial
    Prince Chid: My late mother often told me about a brave knight named Allen. Tell me, did you know Marlene of Asturia?
    Allen: Uh, well, yeah, but not intimately... I mean not biblically! ...I mean, y-yeah, we met.
  • Take That!: At Fox Kids not airing the first episode.
  • Tempting Fate: "Well, my Guymelef is pretty smashed up, but the most important thing is that nobody important got hurt." Guess who's bleeding to death at the moment. Go on, guess.
  • That Man Is Dead: Folken invokes it, but Van takes it literally and thinks for a second that he's a ghost.
  • The Ugly Guy's Hot Daughter: "Have you seen the king? He makes me look like you, and you look like some kind of...freaky, super you! Makes you wonder how his daughters got so hot...."
  • Uncertain Audience / Multiple Demographic Appeal: One episode discussed this In-Universe with a Law & Order style opening.
    "In the anime industry's quest for ratings, the creators of shows with strong cross-demographic appeal must pander to two separate, yet equally important groups: the shonen fandom, who enjoy Giant Robots, short-skirted schoolgirls and long, drawn-out fights between musclebound supermen full of thinly veiled homoeroticism; and the Shoujo fandom, who like their schoolgirls magical, their Giant Robot pilots Bishōnen, and their homoeroticism right out in the open. These are their stories..."
  • Unknown Rival: Dilandau to Van.
    "Damn it, Van! I am your nemesis and you will start taking me seriously!"
  • Unreliable Narrator: Van, when he briefly takes over the opening narration in episode 5.
    Van: After heroically leading the Zaibach forces away from my friends, I beat them all up until they apologized, and nominated me for the Chuck Norris Medal of Badass!
    Hitomi: Oh, is that what happened? Because it looks to me like one of them has you in a Full Nelson while the other works you over.
    Van: Yeah, well who asked you?
    Hitomi: That's it, I'm going back to doing these intros myself.
  • Wangst: In-Universe, Hitomi advises this for Van to get more fangirls, since he equates it to getting stronger. He develops the ability to detect Merle from behind the bushes.
    • Discussed later when Van takes it too far and ends up in an Angst Coma, and Hitomi has to explain that it's not moping that makes him stronger, it's the audience's sympathy that makes him strong, but right now his angsting is just annoying.
  • We Have Reserves:
    Duke Fried: Sergeant Cannon Fodder Canaan-Föder, how do you ask a man to be the last man to die for a mistake?
    Canaan-Föder: I... I don't know, sir
    Duke Fried: That's easy, you don't! You just keep sending wave after wave of men to their deaths! Now, call in the reserves — we're having a good old-fashioned troop surge!
    • Inverted in that as soon as he says it, his own men shoot him in the back with an arrow volley.
    Canaan-Föder: How does it feel to be the last man to die for a mistake, asshole?
  • Well-Intentioned Extremist: Folken
    "That's about as close as anyone gets in this show. Oh, except Dilandau; that guy's crazy. Don't ever get on his bad side"
    • Which might be cribbed from the Escaflowne page on this very site.
    • "Zaibach: Kicking your ass for the greater good."
  • What Is This Feeling?: Spoofed when Van experiences the mysterious concept known as "empathy."
    Van: And it's like I could tell what they were thinking and feeling just by watching what they said and did.... Did I just get some awesome new superpower without realizing it?
    • Played more straight (and heartwarmingly) after Hitomi returns to Earth. Van can't figure out why he feels this hole inside, like something's missing. He then asks Merle if Hitomi took anything of his, since the feeling started right after she left. Merle has to spell it out for him.
  • What Kind of Lame Power Is Heart, Anyway?: "Oh God, now I'm having a flashback that's not even mine? This is the worst superpower ever."