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Funny / The Last Ship

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  • Tex is pretty much the show's comic relief:
    • In "Lockdown", Tex having fun ribbing Danny Green over his romance with Kara Foster.
    • In "Two Sailors Walk Into a Bar", Tex grousing about the Fake-Out Make-Out and lecturing Chandler even after he realizes what the kiss was actually for.
    • In "Trials," Tex's levity in quarantine, as well as Kara joking that he might actually be getting somewhere with Dr. Scott.
    • In "No Place Like Home," Tex is in the cabin he shares with Danny, revealing that he confessed his feelings to Dr. Scott and berating himself for being overly schmaltzy. Then we see that Danny isn't in the room and that Tex is talking to Admiral Halsey, the Naval Mountain Warfare Unit's dog.
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    • In "Alone and Unafraid," he uses Niels Sorensen as a human shield during a shootout and doesn't even bat an eye when the bastard gets gutshot. His facial expressions in particular show how so done he is with the doctor.
    Niels: I'm bleeding!
    Tex: [flippantly] Apply pressure, dipshit.
  • In "Fight the Ship", Danny Green's rejoinder to Mrs. Granderson: "Baltimore Water and Power. How can I help you this evening? The current hold time is forever. If you need immediate assistance, please place your lips firmly on my ass cheeks and press the pound sign."
  • At the end of "It's Not a Rumor", Slattery grouses that Chandler's decision to stay with the mission cost him a chance at his first command.
  • "Achilles" as a ex-sailor turned mercenary who tells Sean Ramsey that the Nathan James could be a tanker or a civilian freighter. The latter calls him out since there's no one who can do business in the middle of a worldwide plague outbreak.
  • Sean lampshades in "Long Day's Journey" that of all the places people could have used as a refugee zone, it had to be a mall.
    • Also, in "Long Day's Journey", after a chance comment by Bacon about how to make a roux gives Rachel Scott an epiphany about how to use flour as the base to aerosolize the cure:
    Dr. Scott: ... Because of the phytic acid?
    Milowsky: Myo is geometrically more stable, but chelation of the phytic acid could prevent mineral absorption into the vaccine structure.
    Rachel: Worth a shot. (beat) Bacon?
    Bacon: Uh... I'm... I'm sorry, ma'am. I-I'm afraid you lost me.
    Rachel: At what point, exactly, did I lose you?
    Bacon: About two hours ago.
  • In the Season 2 Finale:
    • Miller gets a sloppy smooch from an appreciative civilian while spreading the contagious cure.
    • Tex leads the crew in a drunken sea shanty while wearing Garnett's cap.
  • 4x02, "The Pillars of Hercules": Chandler has retired to Greece. A local crime boss prettyboy named Giorgio who's clearly never thrown a punch in his life says he could've killed Chandler. Chandler - a former Navy captain and a trained tactical operator - just looks up at him, and you can tell he's thinking "...are you serious? Do you have any idea what kind of foes I've faced? Do you think I'm scared of a pissant like you?" And then he goes "Yeah, I guess you're right."
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  • 4x03, "Bread and Circus": Lucia, a western women with uncovered head and bare shoulders (gasp!) tries to salvage a negotiation after her brother Giorgio starts fouling it up. A negotiation with a Muslim fundamentalist. He just says "shut up, whore" completely deadpan. You can see her struggling not to punch him, we've already seen what a bad idea that would be.
  • 5x02, "Unite and Fight": Panamanian resistance leader Armando Maza is posing as a Colombian colonel and trying to bluff his way past a checkpoint while Danny and Sasha (in Colombian uniforms) hold the real colonel at gunpoint in the back of the truck. He tells a guard that the prisoner in the back is the notorious and legendary Maza. The guard replies, "Oh, the one they call El Feo (The Ugly One)?" Maza's expression becomes "Oh, what the fuck did this little pissant just call me?", then he insists that it's actually "Mighty Eagle, Who is Loved by Many Women."
  • In "Warriors", several of the seamen are roped into attending a fundraiser down in the south, complete with Southern Hospitality. Burk mutters that he feels like he went back in time.

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