- When Eli pleads to Matt to have sex with Danielle:Eli: Goddammit Matt! I swear to God if you don't fuck her, I'll kill myself! Matt! Please! Please! Matt! FUCK HER FOR ME! FOR ME!
- Eli: God, I just wanna bang hot chicks!
- Eli: I just gotta fuck something.
- Eli: I could make a better sex-ed film with my mom!
- Eli: And you can still like her with your penis inside her.
- Eli is just a goldmine of comedy throughout the movie. Here's another scene involving him at the end of the movie.
Funny / The Girl Next Door (2004)