If you give The Cinema Snob an opportunity to let loose uncensored, you know he's going to go all out...
- He does the entire review for Diary of a Nudist naked in his comfy chair.Snob: What? Did you think that because it was uncensored that I'd show you something sexy? Hell, no! But you are free to jerk off to this any time you want; just know that, if you do, I will be quietly judging you by giving you this face. [Stares at the camera blankly and shakes his head disapprovingly]
Stacy: "Dear Mom and Dad; I've been at Nudist Camp for almost three weeks...and I'm getting...very...horny."
- "And, excuse me, but how old is that kid?!"
- "Can I just say that I've never before been so glad that this movie's not in Smell-O-Vision?"
- The film rarely shows anyone speak, and when they do they tend to have their mouth covered or facing away from the camera, which is a great source of comedy for Brad.
- "Stacy, don't poke holes in Arthur's story; that's my job!"
- "They're smiling because the chiggers provide a nice itching sensation on the anus."
- Folgers Coffee: A Nude Way to Freshen Your Morning
- The Snob's interpretations of the various reports written by the two leads.
- The director for Jailbait Babysitter also directed Baby Rosemary, which the Snob suspects is about a baby that gives birth to demon Mia Farrow.
- "Don't worry; it's this awkward every time Roman Polanski orders out for a babysitter."
- When the babysitter steps in dog shit...Babysitter: Goddamn dogs!Snob: Hey, be nice to that dog; it's also the director!
- At the end of 48 Hours of Hallucinatory Sex, Brad unbuttons his shirt and says he's going to dance naked to "Inky Dinky Doodah Morning" on his porch. After the ending credits, he steps back into the camera's view to fix his curtain...completely naked. He even turns around to give the camera an eyeful of his (admittedly pretty impressive) package before suddenly realizing the camera is on.Snob: [Sarcastically] Oh, no!