Funny / Space Cowboys

• The Running Gag of team Daedalus meeting someone who knew an old peer of theirs, only to learn that person is now deceased.
• Frank proudly boasting to his wife about averting Read the Freaking Manual when installing the new garage opener...only the door leading back to the house is locked. And he forgot to put batteries in the garage opener.
• When Frank and his wife are fooling around in the garage: "I'm locked in the garage with a dirty old man!"
  • Ethan and Sara then open the garage with the remote in Frank's car. Ethan sheepishly admits they heard screaming.
  Frank: [sarcastically] Well, thanks for saving the day.
• Frank tries to hurry Ethan and Sara along, saying "I'm a very busy man", which draws an immediate chuckle of disbelief from his wife.
• When Ethan tells Frank he's not a team player, Frank growls (as only Clint Eastwood can), "Get out." His wife then remarks he needs to work on his hospitality.
• Jerry pulling out his glasses reading the terms Frank and Bob came up with, to Frank's befuddlement.
  Frank: You don't need those, do you?
  Jerry: Well, no. Just to read. Go to movies. Drive. Walk. You know...
• Hawk tries to prove to Roger that he can bench press 225 pounds. So he calls over Tank to "spot him". So Tank does plenty of the work on his own, his face reddening and his voice shaking more and more as Hawk does the three presses. The look on Ethan's face is just hilarious
  Tank: I'm going to go to my room now and cry.
• Hawk's low-key "Happy birthday" to the guy who wants a wild airplane ride. During the flight, the guy vomits all over Hawk's dashboard, and profusely apologizes when they land. Hawk initially criticizes him: "Where'd you get the bright idea to eat a big lunch before you come out here and went flying?", but changes his tune when he sees the guy's girlfriend waiting for him: "Congratulations! You earned your wings today, young man. My hat's off to you! Well done!"
  • "I love you, and I love being on the ground..."
• When Corvin tells Hawk (in recruiting him) he's there to keep a promise:
  Hawk: The promise to kill me, or the promise to have both of my LEGS broke?
  Corvin: No, the...other one....
• Jerry passing the vision test perfectly, to the astonishment of all...until he whispers that "I may be blind, Frank, but my memory is perfect!"
  • Also during the eye test, Hawk accidentally reading too much of the eye chart: "M A D, uh, in U.S.A.- oh, "Made in USA"."
• The Ensure / Baby Food exchange.
  • While the other three drink the Ensure like they're used to it, Hawk just gives the astronauts a Death Glare and reads the can.
• When Jerry's eating, he fumbles with his dentures, causing a grossed-out Frank to remark, "Damn, Jerry..."
• When Frank and Hawk compete in the centrifuge:
  Frank: Which one of us passed out first?
  Eugene: I'm gettin' too old for this shit.
• Frank and Hawk compete over the waitress at a bar:
  Hawk: Would you choose this man, with his asymmetrical sagging ass cheeks, love handles the size of Nebraska and his gross, old, ugly ingrown toenails?
  Frank: Or this hairy-eared son of a bitch with a chicken gizzard neck and a face like Death Valley fire trails?
  • The waitress isn't exactly impressed when they first approach the subject of which one she would hypothetically take home:
  Waitress: You mean, like, to the home?
  Frank: Yeah.
  Waitress: Like, the retirement home?
  • When Frank tells the bar tough, "Go back to your virgin pink daiquiri."
• When the bar tough tells Frank that he'll "put him in the hospital," Frank's reply is both funny and awesome:
  Frank: Oh yeah? Well I've got Medicare so take your best shot.
• The USA Today headline: "The Ripe Stuff".
• When the gang is given a tour of the Shuttle, specifically the bathroom area
  Hawk: [sticks head in hole] The hell's this thing?
  Roger: ACM. 'Asshole Centering Monitor'
  [Hawk immediately hops away from it]
  • Roger then explains the peeing mechanism, noting to make sure the funnel is tight against their skin and that "one size fits all".
• The gang's appearance on Leno, especially the moment when Leno asks which of the four is the babe magnet:
  Jerry: I keep telling these guys, it's got nothing to do with me. It depends entirely on the woman, and how willing she is to discover her infinite supply of orgasms.
• When Frank refuses to dumb it down for his understudy:
  Frank: Look kid, I've done everything short of calculus instructions to bring you up to speed. What do you want, a picture? Connect the dots?
  Ethan: Excuse me. I hold two masters degrees from MIT, Dr. Corvin.
  Frank: Maybe you ought to get your money back.
• Frank storms into Bob Gerson's office and shuts his laptop. Bob calmly informs him, "Well, now, that's great. You hung up on the head of our program: the vice president of the United States. Now what can I do for you, Frank?"
  • When Frank bursts into the room: "Why, Frank. What a semi-pleasant surprise."
• Before launch, the Reverend leads his fellow astronauts in (Alan) Shepard's Prayer: "Lord, please don't let me [screw] up.”
  • This is a Shout-Out to The Right Stuff, where Alan Shepard, as played by Scott Glenn, said a more vulgar form of this line.
  • Both the line in The Right Stuff and here are references to the fact that the real Alan Shepard is credited with saying this on the launch pad, although Shepard claims he actually said "Don't f*** up, Shepard."

---