Funny / Romy and Michele's High School Reunion

• Romy and Michele's commentary while watching Pretty Woman.
  (Michele holds back tears watching Vivian get treated to a shopping spree) I just get so happy when they finally let her shop!
  "Yeah, like those sales girls in Beverly Hills aren't bigger whores than she is!"
• Here's how Romy handles meeting a suit salesman...
  Romy: Would you excuse me? I cut my foot before and my shoe is filling up with blood.
  • She even pretends to limp just to make it look believable.
• Romy's plan to get her and Michele a car for the reunion: pretend to have sex with Ramon, a car factory worker, so that he could let her borrow his. It's even funnier in the end.
  Ramon: You have to say something nice about my penis!
  Romy: Oh, Ramon. Your penis is so powerful. I'm cumming. Okay, thanks, get off me now.
  Ramon: Ah, come on!
  Romy: You wanted it to be believable.
• "Who lost their virginity first?" "Oh big wow, with your cousin Barry. I wouldn't brag about it!"
• The "I'm the Mary and you're the Rhoda" fight. It gets even funnier (and darker) when the movie reaches to a dream future sequence that have Romy and Michele as elderly women (with Romy dying, no less) and they are still arguing about it.
  Old!Michele: Tell your mommy that Michele Weinberger-Frink is on the phone and would very much like to speak with her.
  Old!Romy [whilst breathing heavily]: No. Not until you admit that I'm the Mary and you're the Rhoda
  Old!Michele: I'm the Mary! I'm the Mary! You're a pasty hag on her deathbed...
  [Old!Romy slowly gives Old!Michele the finger as her heart monitor starts to decline.]
• "We need something to go...do you have some sort of 'business woman' special?"
• As Michele is defending Romy from the mean girls:
  Michele: Oh, shut up. And what are you picking on us for? We're not the ones who got fat.
  Christie: ... We're pregnant, you half-wit.
  Michele: Oh, yeah, well... I hope your babies look like...monkeys.
• Romy's fat-free diet:
  Michele: Did you lose weight?
  Romy: Actually, I have been trying this new fat free diet I invented. All I've had to eat for the past six days are gummy bears, jelly beans, and candy corns.
  Michele: God, I wish I had your discipline.
• Heather Mooney gives out some laughs as well. Especially in her first appearance, where the mere mention of Sandy turns her from Deadpan Snarker to Comically Serious:
  Romy: Besides, didn't you have a thing for Sandy [Frink] in high school?
  Heather: I did not have a "thing"! I did not have a thing. [Turns to another costumer behind her] I did not have a "thing." [Turns back to Romy] I was very much in love with him. Very much in love, there's a difference. [Turns to the costumer behind her again] There's a difference. [Now back to Romy; bleakly] There's a difference.
  [puts on her shades]
  Heather: [whispers] I have to go now.
  • She also gives out one quote that's pretty relatable for anyone who had a hard time in high school...
  Heather: Why don't you tell everyone I said to go fuck themselves for making my teen years a living hell?
• "It's like I've given birth to my own baby girl, y'know? Only she's like, a big giant girl who smokes and says 'shit' a lot...y'know? Yeah... Let's fold scarves!"