- "Look at this sorry-ass motherfucker."
- Damn near anything involving Pig Pen:
- "You is one butt-ugly, Hepatitis C smokin', stanky motherfucker!"
- "I'm 'bout to pull yo' bitch card with a smooth, you booty poo-ass nigga!"
- "We could smell your underprivileged smegma from a mile away!"
- "Well, it ain't nothin' like that Limburger factory you got brewin' between them thighs of yours, n'ahmsayin'?"
- "Suck My Big Black Ass, Charlie Brown", Charlie states "Big mailboxes, big welfare checks!"
- "And a big fat dick to stick in your big fat ass!"
- "That's a big motherfuckin' mailbox, motherfucker!" Funnier because, damn, that is a huge mailbox.
- "It's the Great Dolemite, Charlie Brown":Charlie Brown: Nigga, you talkin' crazier than Margot Kidder on my front lawn. Dolemite ain't coming to no pumpkin patch on Halloween!"Linus: Fuck you, and yo nignorance. He gonna be there!Charlie Brown: Nignorance!?
"You must deal with nignorance all the time, like when Spike Lee and those mothafuckin' youngbloods made The Original Kings of Comedy, and didn't include to put you in it."
- Linus goes on to show some mad respect to The Great Dolemite in his letter:
- Patty (the original character, not Peppermint Patty) randomly walks up to Linus and announces she's going to have a miscarriage in the bathroom.
- "I'm the black Zorro, you dirty spics!"
- "Beware of the Easter Nigga, Charlie Brown":Marcie: These eggs have yellow eyes. But if I turn them, the yellow is gone.Peppermint Patty: You, y-you-you... YOU GODDAMN RETARD!
- Snoop's puppet show from "Suck My Big Black Ass, Charlie Brown!", which also doubles as a great Take That, Scrappy! moment for Lucy.Charlie: Here we got Snoop preppin' for his most famous trick where he balances a toy carriage on his D.O.D.Lucy: D.O.D.?Charlie: Yep, his dick of death. Look at the clinical hardification of the wang as he's about to skeet from the carriage friction.Lucy: What do you mean by "skeet"?(Snoop skeets all over Lucy)Charlie: As Snoop continues his balancin' feat, he is quickly reminded of the chili burritos he scuzzled down before the show.Lucy: Chili burritos?(Snoop farts and shits on Lucy)Charlie: It seems as if Snoop has sighted a crack whore in the audience.Lucy: But I'm the only one here!(Snoop's puppets punch Lucy and throw garbage on her)Charlie: And to show that he's not such a gorilla pimp, he washes off the stank with his favorite pimp oil, Old Spice.Lucy: Old Spice?!(Lucy is "washed" with Old Spice; she storms off)Charlie: The end.Lucy: ...What the fuck?!
- Linus' "True meaning of Kwanzaa" crosses the line too many times to count. Here it is in its entirety:Linus: "And there were three Kings: Martin Luther, Don and Rodney. Martin Luther was the smartest of the three. He preached equality, peace and self respect; he was the good King. Don was a deebo who sprung on the wrong cat, and got rickets from a stank poon on 125th Street. He was a pumper-bumper who turned a trick on a skeezer named Geroniho, and suffered in drinkin' a case of Natural Ice while blastin' diarrhea all over his crib; he was a bad King. Rodney was a bull-dagger cootchie-ripper who was geekin' on baking soda while flap-stabbin' some ho in the back of a hooptie. He gave the jelly-doughnut to a mugger trick, while Amadou Diallo changed his name to 'Amadou What the Cops Tell Me to Do'; he was the worst King of them all."
- Schroeder calling out women before Charlie Brown is given four blowjobs in "Suck My Big Black Ass":Schroeder: You bitches are drunk like a nine-eyed nigga. First you ridicule the man for wanting a white bitch, and now you're gonna let him settle with four blowjobs by four ugly-ass chompers? Well, hear this: Fuck you, black bitches! Fuck you up and down and on your face! Stomp on yo' mothafuckin' ass 'til you be beggin' fo' mothafuckin' mercy! Beat yo' ass up with a closet stick, cuz I can't stand you black bitches, cuz there ain't nothang like smackin' y'all across the face with my John Holmes while sippin' Hennessy, you Jew bangers!
Funny / Most Offensive Video