- Joey's little dance and facial expressions after "kissing" Miss Cooter.
- When Joey bursts into Sally's room after finding DickSally: I'm dead.Joey: Oh no you're not. Tell your mom to shut the hell up.Sally: -to her mom- Shut the hell up, please!Sally's Mom (offstage): Okay, Sally. I love you!Joey: Okay, your mom kinda stole my thunder...
- Joey proposing to Vanessa:Joey: I will provide f-Heart: Louder.Joey: (Accompanied by weird arm gestures) PROVIDE FOR YOU AND LOVE YOU. YOU WILL KEEP MY HOME AND RAISE MY CHILDREN!!!!
- After realizing he's in love with Sally, Joey stammers a couple of seconds them murmurs "Shit!". I think he did the same in A Very Potter Musical.
- "JOEY RITCHER IS CRYING IN HERE!"
- The entire existence of the character of The Old Snatch. There is just something about the anthropomorphic personification of a vagina as a rugged, crusty old man in a flapper dress and pearls that is simultaneously disgusting and hilarious.
- "Maybe Sally... maybe SALLY, IS THE PERSON, WHO WE INITIALLY DISLIKED!!! Maybe Sally is our Bill Pullman... and that would be fine by me, Joey, because... Bill Pullman... is my very favorite actor."
- Dick doesn't want to have sex with Joey's mom...because "Dad would ground us."
- Old Snatch: "Oh you must really be wet. Behind the ears! WITH NAIVETE!"
- During Sally's Heartbreak and Ice Cream moment:Sally's Heart: You eat until you're as fat as you are ugly!
Sally: That'll take forever!
Funny / Me and My Dick