Funny / Lizard Music

• Victor and Leslie's parents leave so many notes with telephone numbers they might need to call while they're away that Victor thinks it would've been more efficient to just tape the telephone directory to the wall.
• The parents finally clear out, leaving Victor "in Leslie's capable hands." The next line states that exactly one day later, Leslie ditched him to go camping at Cape Cod with her friends.
• The day Leslie leaves, the office where she works as a receptionist at calls to ask why she didn't show up. The first excuse Victor can think of is that his sister's having a baby, despite the first page establishing that Leslie is seventeen. The caller is silent for a while before eventually saying goodbye and hanging up.
• Victor doesn't see much of a point in going to summer camp, as during the previous summer he got stung by bees, fell in poison ivy, found out he was allergic to all of the plants, and broke his arm when he fell off the roof of a cabin.
• Victor covers up his sister's absence by typing up several letters to their parents, copying Leslie's signature, and mailing one every day. He figures his parents will be so happy she's writing to them that they'll forget she'd never actually do that.
• While thinking about the evening news, Victor has an Imagine Spot about Walter Cronkite having to be rescued from a submerged Volkswagon bus by the Navy. Once Cronkite is rescued, he gives his customary Signing-Off Catchphrase of "That's the way it is" and the program fades out, despite not actually being the one to present the news of his own rescue.
• Victor has another imagine spot about an imperiled Walter Cronkite while working on a model airplane. This time, Cronkite's plane crashes in mountainous Tibet and ends up calling into the news broadcast about his own disappearance with the plane's radio. Upon giving out information relevant to him getting rescued, he finishes the news program about his own imperilment again.
• While trying to figure out how the Chicken Man made a lizard appear in his hand out of nowhere, Victor considers the possibility that since he keeps a chicken under his hat, he also has a bunch of animals hidden in his raincoat.
• Victor thinks he probably imagined Roger Mudd having a lizard on his shoulder before confessing he's not a very imaginative kid. This is after he's gone on no fewer than three flights of fancy about Walter Cronkite getting into absurd situations.
• According to Victor, nature documentaries are all pretty similar: they show off an animal, then talk about how it's probably going to go extinct soon and that it's all humanity's fault.
• One of the people whom Bob Barney interviews on the street is a woman who turns out to have the mouth of a sailor. Victor notes that although all her swear words are beeped out, you can still see her lips moving.
  Woman: You're beep right! My beep son's first wife's cousin's boy is a fireman. The way that poor beep has to work – it's a beep shame. Let the beep city beep beep beep.
• The Chicken Man gives Victor a different fake name every time they meet, which culminates in the narration referring to him by all the aliases he's used up until that point.
  "Fine. Come by my office tomorrow," said Peter Breughel the Elder, also known as Milo Schtunk, a.k.a. Charles Swan, Hubert Van Eyck, Matthias Grunewald, Lucas Cranach, Jr., Herr Doktor Professor Horace Kupeckie, Plt.D.
• The lizards have a game show called "You Bet Your Duck!", where all the answers are lizard-punified versions of the names of historical figures and everybody wears duck masks for some reason.

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