The trailer opens with Professor Bruttonholm's narration as soft music plays over the sound of police sirens. The somber tone quickly takes a turn when the audience hears a gunshot followed by Hellboy screaming.
Hellboy: HEEEEEEEY! I'M ON YOUR SIDE!! Cop: Sorry. My bad.
Equally as funny is how panicky he looks while waving his arms off at whomever the dumb bum is that shot at him. If he was hoping for a badass reveal from the car, that has been ruined forever.
A lady asks to see Hellboy's ID. Please note that HB has mutton-chop sideburns, a goatee, candy-apple red skin and oh yeah - ground-down horns sticking out of his forehead like aviator goggles.
Hellboy: Um... are you serious?
Hellboy gets his new gun.
Hellboy: You made me a damn weapon? Professor Bruttenholm: I just wanted to help you become the best... you. Hellboy: Some dads give their kids Legos.
When someone asks Hellboy if his Right Hand of Doom does anything special, Hellboy bluntly replies that it smashes things real good.
Hellboy and Daimio do not get off on the right foot.
Daimio: And I thought we were supposed to be fighting monsters, not working with them. Hellboy: Who're you callin' monster, pal? You looked in the mirror recently, Scarface? [...] He's anasshole!
If it wasn’t clear in the first trailer the second one makes clear that while Hellboy and Ben Daimio are partners they are not friends. Some of the memorable parts include:
When apparently hearing Hellboy's origin story and his childhood Daimio reply is
Nimue tries to get Hellboy to rule by her side as her husband and king. Hellboy tries to let her down easy in his own way.
Nimue: Be my king. We belong together, you and I. Hellboy: Yeah, we do, but it's not going to work, because I'm a Capricorn and you're fucking nuts!
The Slap Stick bit in the first trailer where a giant uses a hammer to smack Hellboy into the distance like a golf ball.
Film
The Lemony Narrator who delivers background exposition at the beginning of the film. His first line says it all:
Narrator: The fifth century, A.D., called the Dark Ages... and for fucking good reason!
Hellboy's phone conversation with Bruttenholm on the way to pick up a rogue agent in the film's first proper scene. It establishes the tone of the entire movie.
The fact that the rogue agent left his post to become a luchador in Tijuana.
One would expect a large, boar-headed beast of the dark world to have a deep voice and speak in a dramatic fashion. Then Gruagach opens his mouth and reveals himself to speak with a nasal Liverpool accent and completely ordinary (and often coarse) modern parlance.
No one is surprised by Gruagach's last words, and no one is surprised by Hellboy's response.
Gruagach: FUCK YOU, HELLBOOOOOOO- Hellboy: Yehh fuck you back.
The nigh-absurd lengths the Osiris club goes to in order to take down Hellboy in their attempt at assassinating him, and the fact that despite it going off without a hitch (with one minor exception), Hellboy is still back on his feet just a few minutes later.
Baba Yaga proposing to seal a bargain with Hellboy with a kiss, followed by a very long, very gross, very awkward shot of Hellboy doing everything in his power to remain stoic while Baba's tongue just wanders all over his mouth.
On returning to base, Hellboy asks if he can get a mint.
Hellboy's idea for getting Daimio psyched for the final combat scene is to punch him in the face with his stone hand. It works.
Hellboy unexpectedly meeting the ghost of Lobster Johnson in a cemetery during the film's first stinger, and completely geeking out over it like a teenage fanboy.
Hellboy: I LOVE YOU, LOBSTER JOHNSON!
Hellboy's response when Nimue tries to get him to have a Face–Heel Turn after she gets her blood back.
Nimue: You are a king. We belong together, you and I.
Hellboy: We do. But it's not going to work, you know, cause I'm a Capricorn and you're FUCKING NUTS!!
