Funny / Deltora Quest

Deltora Quest

Series 1

• Jasmine pulling out money in front of Tom.
• When the companions are tricking Theagan's children - who have them captive - into fighting one another over who gets to eat how much of whom, Barda says, "Why, I am twice the size of Jasmine! Whoever gets a third part of her will not do well at all. Really, she should be divided in half!" Capped perfectly with:
  "Yes," agreed Lief, just as loudly, ignoring Jasmine's cries of rage.
• Lief interrups the elder Kin.
  Barda: As you can see, I have too a cub to take care of. Please, do go on.
• Doom's implication that Jasmine is flat chested.
• Jasmine's two suggestions at how to get rid of Neridah in The Valley of the Lost and her reaction at Lief and Barda's choice:

  "She will not willingly let us go on without her, that is certain," Jasmine said grimly. "So, we have two choices. One, hit her on the head, and run. Or, two, wait until we are sure that she is asleep, then creep away."

  She seemed a little disappointed when Lief and Barda chose the second course.

Series 2

• "Jasmine was reading?"
• In The Isle of Illusion, Lief and co have been welcomed to the floating rafts and are given a meal. Their hostess asks them how they like a certain dish, an oily soup, and to be polite they say it's fine, even though they hate it. As soon as he lies, Lief finds a claw on his tongue, and their hostess explains that telling the truth is generally a good idea there. She then asks them what they really think, and they tell her in no uncertain terms.
• This bit of dialogue in Isle of Illusion between Barda and Jasmine, when Barda is about to jump onto the dome:

  Barda: And if I land safely on the top of the dome, but cannot hold myself in place?

  Jasmine (calmly): Then you will slide all the way down to the base and fight Arachs. But if not, you will simply wait while I return with Lief.

Series 3

• In Dragon's Nest, the excuse Lief, Barda and Jasmine tell their guards when they leave them to awaken the topaz dragon. Especially Jasmine's reaction to it.

  Jasmine: Did you have to tell that story? Herbs! Now Brid and the others will think this trip to the Os-Mine Hills is my fault! Already, most of them believe I am a witch because I speak to birds and trees. Now, no doubt, they think I need rare ingredients for my spells.

  Barda: All the better. The important thing is that they do not suspect our real reason for being here.

  Jasmine: Why can we not just tell them the truth? They will find out soon enough, if we come back to them leading a golden dragon!

  Barda: Leading it? It is more likely that we will be running from it in terror.

• Barda's famed line "I do not give a fig!"
• Manus's disgust at the design of the chapel.
• Until it crosses into Nightmare Fuel, Barda finally solving his puzzle box...not to mention his futile attempts to open it before.

Anime Series

• Episode 4, come on, nobody's even gonna mention the Enigmatic Giant from the anime and his riddle?
  • The rhyme goes like this:
  "Sorceress Thaegan gulps her favorite food, In her cave with all her brood. And the names of the children are: Hot, Tot, Jin, Jod, Fie, Fly, Zan, Zod, Pik, Snik... Lun, Lod, And of course the dreaded Ichabod. Each child holds a slimy toad. On each toad squirms two fat grubs. On each grub rides two flea's brave. Here's my riddle now and beware. Answer my riddle now, if you dare. How many creatures are living in Thaegan's cave?"
  • The fact that both the giant and later Thaegan's own children sing it in the anime, after their introduction makes it totally awesome.
• Kree puffing out his chest after killing Thaegan in episode 7, is both hilarious and extremely badass.
• Unintentionally, perhaps, but the scene with Filli as he causes chaos in Noradz in episode 9, due to how adorable he is.
• Episode 15, the scammer "scolding" his pet bird.
  "That'll teach me to go into business with a dove...next time it'll be a monkey."
  • When Filli accidentally reveals the scam. The people who were tricked, want to punish the man's pet bird as well.
  • Lief's glare at Barda for giving "Twig" as his fake name.
• All of episode 22 with Francoise in it. Jasmine is a jealous of her, but not blind and starts to notice something off about her and her clothes. What with them being shapeshifting demons and all. And of course, Hilarity Ensues.
• Thaegan doing a Red Riding Hood on the companions until they start insulting her in episode 23.
• Episode 25, the first time Barda hitches a ride with a Kin, the look on his face says it all.
  Barda: Stop laughing at me...
  • Lief is particularly merciless.
  Lief: Are you snuggly wuggly in your pouchy wowchy?
• Episode 32, Lief's first encounter with Chett the polypan.
• Barda trying charades for the pirates in episode 34, "The Pirates' Feast".
  Jasmine: Now it's up to you Barda, do your thing.
  Barda: Huh? What thing? I haven't got have a thing.
• Near the end of episode 35, when Chett and his fellow polypan's return Lief and the others' belongings back expecting payment. Only problem, Lief had run out of their favorite toffee.
• Thaegan getting her children to back off after they begin to crowd her. Even Ichabod... who towers over his own mother.
• The filler episodes are full of funny.
  • When Barda, Lief and Jasmine are tending to Tom's shop while he's away delivering goods, they give a supplement meant to strengthen humans to Filli and Kree... only to make them grow ten times their size and destroy the shop which is then rebuilt as a doghouse accidentally.
  • An episode involving a lone (and noble) Grey Guard trying to prove to a village he can be its hero has a chibi dance scene that must be seen to be believed.
• Episode 38, Oacus easily intimidating some pirates who question who he is with a small display of his fire magic.
  Oacus: (totally deadpan) Sorry, you were saying?
  Pirate: Uh, nothin. Don't mind us.
• Episode 40, the fact that the trees in the area don't like Neridah.

Three Doors

• Dirk's reaction to Sholto being alive (and also Sholto's reaction to Dirk's reaction):

  ‘Sholto!’

  ‘Greetings, brother!’ Sholto drawled. ‘It seems that neither of us is dead, despite all —-reports to the contrary.'

  He grinned broadly as a stream of astounded curses hissed from the air vent.

Star of Deltora

Shadows of the Master

• Sky, as a Deadpan Snarker, has quite a few funny lines:

  Vashti: I would like to write a letter to my parents, if that is permitted. They were to send the carriage for me at six...

  Sky: Oh, the carriage!

Two Moons

• Though interpretations may vary, the look of shock on Sky's face when she sees Britta in the Swamplands.
• Early on in the story, Sky orders Britta to stay out of her affairs after Britta accidentally spoils one of her plans. Later, when Sky's life is threatened by the turtle-people in the Swamplands, she is not so adamant.

  Britta: They are planning to kill you by throwing you into the mud, Sky. I am going to try and persuade them otherwise. Unless... (raises eyebrow) Unless you still feel you would prefer me to stay out of your affairs?

  Sky: On this occasion, I give you permission to interfere as much as you like.

• After Britta rescues Sky from being killed in the swamp, when they are on their way back to the town, Britta is silent and thinking deeply and Sky tries to wake her, thinking her asleep. This conversation ensues:

  Britta (annoyed): I was merely thinking. Leave me alone! You have caused me trouble enough.

  Sky: Now are those the words of a friend? (sighs gustily) How fickle you are, Britta! It seems no time since you were putting your hand on your heart and swearing, I was dear to you!

The Towers of Illica

• The revelation that the reason two of the Collectors were so eager to let Jewel and Vashti stay in their towers was that they wanted to marry them off to their sons. Britta's reaction is priceless— she just barely manages to stop herself from bursting into laughter until she's out of the building and then completely loses it. Jewel, once she finds out, is perfectly horrified, as well as irritated by Britta's amusement over the whole thing.

  Jewel: Stop laughing! Imagine how it will be for me in Slink Tower tonight, with Madam parading her dear boy in front of me every moment! She might well refuse to trade with me when I reject him. By the heavens, Britta, you could at least show some sympathy!

General

• Look at all of Jasmine and Doom's moments in the first series. Compare them to the ones in the second and third. Now, laugh.
• "Once there was an Olio!"
• Barda, whenever he reminds us that he is a glorified babysitter.