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"Was that floating like a Cadillac? Or was that stinging like a Beamer? I'm confused!"
Cars
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  • Guido's pit stop is without a doubt the Moment of Awesome for this film. The reaction of Chick Hicks' pit crew is priceless - they drop their mustache grilles. "Peet stop."
  • Many adults giggled during the media frenzy scene... just because they depicted a host named "Jay Limo" who looks like Jay Leno. Even some of the films' detractors in the 00s thought that was Actually Pretty Funny.
  • The court scene has this gem.
    • " Flo, what do you have at your store?" " I have gas... Lotsa gas!" Cue Mater and Ramone laughing.
  • After the first race, the twin fangirls, Mia and Tia, flashing their headlights for Lightning.
  • Lightning tries to use Doc's advice to "turn right to go left"—-only to thud into another cactus patch; and the impact also causes a tall saguaro to fall on him.
    Lightning: Ow! Ow, that— (saguaro falls on top of him) OWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!
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  • Lightning muttering to himself about his failed use of Doc's advice.
    Lightning: "Turn right to go left"...Guess what? I tried it, and you know what? This crazy thing happened - I went right!
    Lizzie: You keep talkin' to yourself, people will think you're crazy.
    Lightning: Thanks for the tip.
    Lizzie: What? I wasn't talking to you.
  • Harv buttering up Lightning:
    Harv: And it is such an honor to be your agent that it almost hurts me to take ten percent of your winnings. And merchandising. And ancillary rights in perpetuity-- anyway, what a race, huh, champ?
    • And later after Harv finds Lightning:
    Harv: "You can't buy this kind of publicity! What do you need me for? That's just a figure of speech, by the way, you signed a contract."
    • What really sells this moment is his change of tone, mid-sentence. At first it's loud and hammy, then it's all serious and quiet, with no warning.
  • "AND MY NAME IS NOT CHUCK!" Even better is that his character is listed in the credits as "Not Chuck".
    • Comes up again in the mini-biography collection you can unlock on the Blu-ray. Actually most of the biographies are pretty funny.
  • This exchange:
    Mater: I know this might be a bad time right now, but you owe me thirty two thousand dollars in legal fees.
    Lightning: What?
    Mater: *Nods*
  • When Doc introduces Lightning to Bessie and sentences him to community service:
    Lightning: Whoa, whoa, whoa, how long is this gonna take?
    Doc: Well, if a fella does it right, it should take him about five days.
    Lightning: Five days?! But I should be in California shmoozing Dinoco right now!
    Doc: Then if I were you, I'd quit yappin' and start workin'! Hook him up, Mater!
    Mater: Okey-dokey! [struggles with getting the clamp off Lightning's left front tire, but successfully removes the clamp, allowing Lightning to speed off into the distance]
    Lightning: FREEDOM!
    Mater: (as Doc glares at him) Err...Maybe I should've, uh...hooked him up to Bessie... and THEN, uh...then took the boot off?
    Sheriff: Boy, we're not as dumb as you think we are.
    Lightning: B-B-But-But...H-H-H-How-How did...?
    Sally: We siphoned your gas while you were passed out. Kachow. (shines her headlight in Lightning's face; Lightning grumbles.)
  • Doc completely Trolling Lightning when he gets stuck in the cactus patch.
    Doc: Hey! Was that floating like a Cadillac or was that stinging like a Beamer? I'm confused! You drive like ya fix roads! Lousy! Have fun fishin' Mater.
    (Mater lassoes his tow cable onto McQueen's trunk and pulls him out of the cactus patch)
    Mater: I'm startin' to think he knowed you was gonna crash!
    Lightning: Thank you, Mater! Thank you!
  • This exchange between Fillmore and Sarge:
    Fillmore: "I'm telling you, man, every third blink is slower."
    Sarge: "The '60s weren't good to you, were they?"
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    • Made even funnier via Word of God stating that the animators did, in fact, make every third blink a little slower than the first two.
  • Chick Hicks getting booed off the stage.
  • The utter contempt for the Fourth Wall displayed in the credits where Mack comments on John Ratzenberger's voice in Cars versions of several other Pixar films.
    Mack: Wait a minute here, they're just using the same actor over and over! What kind of cut-rate production is this?
  • Various dialogues during credits scene which shows Toy Story, Monsters, Inc., and A Bug's Life are recycled AS CARS!.
  • The whole tractor-tipping scene with Lightning and Mater, up to and including the encounter with Frank.
    • Mater demonstrates by sneaking up to one tractor. He then honks his horn, startling the tractor, which rolls forward and rears up on its back wheels. After doing a second one, he tells Lightning to try, to which Lightning protests he can't because he doesn't have a horn. Eventually, Lightning gives in, so he sneaks up to one tractor, and revs his engine at full blast...knocking over every single tractor in the field that isn't already down. They both get a good laugh out of it — until they hear the sound of a bull bellowing.
    Mater: Hey, listen, listen! If anybody asks you, we was out smashing mailboxes, okay? (speeds away)
    Lightning: What? (sees tractors coming up the road)
    • Red uses his siren to tip over a large group that make it to the town square. Two of them end up swerving into Luigi's Casa Della Tires to avoid colliding with their friends.
    Luigi: No-no-no! Get out of the store! [Guido chases after that tractor while Luigi confronts a tractor eating a stack of tires out front] Hey, don't eat the radial! Here, take the snow tires!
    • One of the tractors chases Fillmore around.
    Sheriff: Mater!
    Sheriff: Then where did all these gol-durn tractors come from?!
    • Lightning has a nightmare about Frank winning the big race.
  • Lightning's Freak Out! when Van and Minny quickly flee Radiator Springs, while he's stuck to Bessie, flailing around:
    Lightning: Don't leave me here! I'm in Hillbilly Hell! My IQ is dropping by the second!! I'M BECOMING ONE OF THEEEEEEMMMMM!!
    • Bonus points when you realize that he does become one of them by the end of the movie, while still managing to maintain his IQ.
    • Apparently, Sally must've heard his outburst, because later, when telling him to clean up, she tells him, "Even in 'Hillbilly Hell' we have standards."
  • Every morning, Sarge raises the flag while playing "Reveille". Almost immediately, Fillmore counters by playing the Jimi Hendrix's rendition of "The Star-Spangled Banner" loudly next door:
    Sarge: WILL YOU TURN THAT DISRESPECTFUL JUNK OFF?!
    Fillmore: Respect the classics, man! It's Hendrix!
  • A meta example for the animators brainstorming session. They got tripped up by a metaphor.
    Lightning: (to Sally) I hear [Radiator Springs] is back on the map.

    • The whole story is absolutely hilarious: the above metaphor caused issues because the animators couldn't figure out how to properly express it. The storyboard simply states that "McQueen produces a map" but being that he and all of the characters are cars and therefore lacking in hands, this is an action easier said than done. Ideas started with things such as McQueen holding it with a prehensile antenna, unrolling it from his boot, or simply dropping the map on the ground, but soon it devolved into more outrageous ides such as the map projecting on his windshield (over his eyes,) printing it on his tongue, and even having a live monkey (an actual flesh-and-blood monkey, not a Cars-ified one) jump out of McQueen and hold the map for him.
  • Lightning going crazy fixing the road at night, after crashing at North Willys Butte:
    Lightning: [sarcastically] Radiator Springs! A HAPPY place! [Bessie squirts a blob of pavement on him] Oh! Okay, Bessie, you think that's funny?! GREAT! I'M TALKING TO BESSIE NOW! I'M TALKING TO BESSIE!!
  • A lot of Chick's misleading insults can get a laugh.
    • For example, after McQueen's crew abandon him.
    Chick: Hey, McQueen. That was some pretty darn good racing out there. BY ME!
    • And when McQueen flies through the curtain too early and shows himself up.
    Chick: Well, I bet that was pretty embarrassing. But I wouldn't worry about it. Because I didn't do it!
  • In the opening race, footage is shown of previous races in the season. The frame is frozen every time the finish line is crossed, showing Chick in third place, pulling an angry scowl (and most likely about to curse) in every single one.
  • Mater's story about a talent he used to have as Lightning tries to fix the road:
    Mater: Y'know, I used to be a purty good whistler! I can't do it now of course, on account of sometimes I get fluid built up in ma' engine block, but Doc said he's gonna fix it, though. He can fix about anything! That's why we made him the judge. Boy, you shoulda heard me on Giddy-Up, Oom Papa Mow Mow! Now, I'm not one to brag, but people come purty far to see me get low on the "Mow-Mow"!
    • And Lightning's mood as he listens to this annoyingly long story is completely nuts as well. He scowls and rolls his eyes as he struggles to ignore it and get the road finished while struggling to pull Bessie, who is rather heavy.
    • And then Bessie spits some tar on one of Lightning's lucky lightning bolts, which he has throughout the majority of his visit. Mater offers to get it off by Spit Shine, but a disgusted Lightning turns it down.
  • Pretty much EVERY time Bessie spits tar on the car that is pulling her. When she is about to do so, she makes a pulsating noise that sounds like laughter, giving her at least some sentience despite having no face.
  • The first "new road" that Lightning ends up making due to rushing his job. Mater testing it out doubles it.
  • Mater teasing Lightning about his relationship with Sally:
    Mater: McQueen and Sally parked beneath the tree, K-I-S-somethin'-somethin'-somethin'-T!
    • This happens again in the final scene as Lightning and Sally have a romantic moment and inch towards each other as if about to kiss...until Mater ruins the moment.
    Mater: McQueen and Sally parked beneath the tree, K-I-S-S-uh...I-N-T!
    Lightning: Great timing, Mater!
  • “Don’t take me out, Coach! I can still race!”
  • This bit during the final race, when Lightning sees Doc and everyone else at the pits.
    Lightning: I thought you said you'd never come back?
    Doc: Well, I really didn't have a choice. Mater didn't get to say goodbye.
    Mater: [yelling at Doc's mic] GOODBYYEEEEEEEEE!! Okay, I'm good.
  • The very final scene after the credits, where Van and Minny are lost in the desert.
    (Van and Minnie are in the middle of the desert, dusty, still looking for California)
    Minnie: [exhausted] Oh, for the love of Chrysler, can we please ask someone for directions?
    Van: [delirious and hysterical] NO! There's another ramp close! I KNOW IT! I CAN FEEL IT! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA!!!

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