- (A cop in "Smoked Pork," the opening skit on Body Count) "It's not my job to help your fuckin' ass out. Right now my job is eatin' these doughnuts."
- (Skit in which Ice-T is interviewed by a writer for a Heavy Metal magazine) "I just don't...feel your music." "Feel this!" [gunshots]
- "Damn, I felt that...you know, actually, I did feel that last album, come to think about it..." [more gunshots]
- "You don't like our music, go buy that fuckin' Hootie & the Blowfish album, you think I give a fuck?"
- From "KKK Bitch" on ''Body Count: "So what we really tryin' to say is Body Count loves everybody. We love Mexican girls, Black girls, Oriental girls. It really don't matter, if you from Mars, and you got a pussy, we will fuck you, you know, that's all we're sayin', word."
- "Institutionalized 2014" in which Ice T goes insane over first world problems. These are: his wife getting between him and his Xbox, having trouble getting into his email account (and his conversation with customer support) and being lectured by a vegan.
Funny / Body Count