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Drinking Game / Eighth Doctor Adventures

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Drinking game for the Eighth Doctor Adventures:

WARNING! THERE MAY BE UNMARKED SPOILERS!

General rules:

  • One sip every time the Doctor's eyes are mentioned.
  • One sip every time the Doctor's fingers are mentioned.
  • One sip every time the Doctor's hair is mentioned.

Specific rules:

  • The cover offends your aesthetic sensibilities: take a shot.
  • The Doctor gets injured: take a shot.
    • If he's being tortured: take two shots.
    • If he permanently loses or disfigures a body part, down the whole bottle.
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    • If the writer is Lloyd Rose, take smaller shots. Always remember to drink responsibly.
  • If the book turns into Body Horror, take a very small sip. (You're most likely about to take a whole lot of very small sips.)
  • The Doctor and his companion(s) get split up: take a shot.
  • Someone develops a crush on the Doctor: take a shot.
  • Blatant homoeroticism: take a shot.
    • Blatant homoeroticism involving Eight: take a shot and sigh dreamily.
    • Blatant homoeroticism between Eight and an antagonist: take another shot.
  • The Doctor snogs someone: take a shot. Two shots if it's Fitz.
  • The Doctor gets naked: one sip for each article of clothing. Two sips for each article of clothing if it's someone else stripping him down. Feel free to grab an iced martini if he's already in just his long johns or just a towel when the scene starts. (If he gets completely naked — why on earth are you reading TV Tropes instead?)
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  • The Doctor enjoys a nice sensual massage: take a shot and a cold shower.
  • The Doctor is heavily implied to shag someone in between scenes: take a shot.
    • The authors straight up say that he shagged someone in between scenes, and lament about not being allowed to put it in the books: take a shot.
  • The Doctor looks about two feet taller than Paul McGann: take a shot.
    • You could have sworn Fitz was taller than the Doctor, but now he seems to be shorter: take a shot.
  • The Doctor's eye colour changes: take a shot.
    • The other characters notice: take another shot and write a detailed analysis on tumblr.
  • The Doctor's eyes are described as looking older than the rest of him: take a shot.
  • Sam worries about her hair: take a shot.
  • Sam realises she was an idiot in a previous adventure: take a shot.
    • Sam realises she was an idiot just a few chapters ago: take a double shot.
  • Sam lusts after the Doctor and he's completely oblivious: take a shot.
  • Sam goes through emotional hell: take a shot.
  • Sam gets a glimpse of her black-haired equivalent: take a shot.
  • Sam's body gets changed by some otherworldly force: take a shot. (If you're reading Unnatural History, be sure to call an ambulance in advance.)
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  • Sam dies and gets resurrected: take a shot.
  • Fitz is injured through his own clumsiness: take a shot.
  • Fitz's hair is described with the specific adjective "straggly": take a shot.
  • Fitz gets distracted by his urge to shag the Doctor: take a shot.
  • Fitz falls in love: take a shot.
    • Fitz's love interest dies: take a shot.
    • Fitz's love interest betrays him: take another shot.
  • Fitz angsts about his timeline: take a shot.
  • You want to yell "Fitz NO" at the book: take a shot.
  • Anji's skin tone is compared to some type of food or drink: take a shot.
  • Trix's eyes are "catlike": take a shot.
  • The narration mentions Sabbath's weight more than necessary: recline heavily in a too-small chair, then ponderously pour a shot of brandy into a glass which looks like a thimble in your enormous, ham-like hands. Then take a shot.
  • The Doctor develops amnesia: take a shot.
    • It seems like the Doctor is going to get his memory back, but then he doesn't: take a shot.
  • Something happens that will blatantly get copied by later Doctor Who media: take a shot.
  • Something happens that will blatantly get retconned by later Doctor Who media: take a shot.
  • References to the whole "half-human" fiasco: take a shot.
  • Genocide: one shot per race that gets destroyed.
    • Genocide committed by someone else than the Doctor: additional shots to drown out your feelings.
    • The book is actually titled "Genocide": start chugging.
  • You suspect the writers are on drugs: take a shot.
    • The characters are on drugs: take a shot and add a little something special, if you like.
      • If you're reading Alien Bodies, you might want to sort of skip both of the above.
  • The Doctor makes a bad pun: take a small sip, to avoid alcohol poisoning.
  • Someone makes a pun about Fitz's name: take a shot.
  • Someone calls the Doctor a "ponce": have a large gin and a pint of cider.
  • Someone who seemed to be dead turns up alive: take a shot.
  • Creepy babies: take a shot.
  • The Doctor says "I'll explain later": take a shot.
    • Someone other than the Doctor says "I'll explain later": take two shots.
  • Faction Paradox shows up: take a shot.
    • The author completely ignores how Faction Paradox was written before: take a shot.
    • The author perfectly nails how Faction Paradox was written before, but Lawrence Miles complains bitterly regardless: take a shot.
  • Despite your drunken state, you recognize a character as a No Celebrities Were Harmed version of some public figure: take a shot.
  • Iris Wildthyme shows up: match her drink-for-drink. Good luck.
    • Fitz is drinking: try to match him too.

Teetotaler's version:

  • The Doctor is described in a way that actually suggests he's not very tall: take a shot.
  • Someone other than the Doctor is tortured: take a shot.
  • Up to and including The Ancestor Cell: when the Doctor isn't already familiar with the Monster of the Week: take a shot.
  • After The Ancestor Cell: when the Doctor is already familiar with the Monster of the Week: take a shot.
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