"Are you trying to talk over me? You're not gonna talk over me. You know why? They can turn off your mike and leave mine on."
"Don't speak to me until I speak to you!"
"This is my playpen!"
"You're an idiot!"
"I don't care!"
"You have 30 seconds [to explain your counterclaim, etc.]."
"What's your defense?"
"Answer my question!"
"You want me to play back the tape?"note Used when a litigant says something contradictory to their earlier testimony and tries to claim they didn't make that earlier statement.
"Don't tell me what they told you/what you heard. That's hearsay and inadmissible in court."
"Don't tell me what they thought/knew. That calls for the operation of their mind."
"'Um' is not an answer!"
"'Pretty sure' is not an answer!"
"'Uh' is not an answer!"
"'Actually' is not an answer!"
"Not a 'well'!" / "'Well' is not an answer! note When a litigant begins to answer a question with "Well..."
"I know who I am."note When Judge Judy asks a direct question and the litigant answers by saying, "Judge Judy..." or "Your Honor..."
"(You're so full of) Baloney."
"OUTRAGEOUS! YOU ARE AN OUTRAGEOUS PERSON!"
"On your BEST day you're not as smart as I am on my WORST day."
"Don't pee on my leg and tell me it's raining."note One of her oldest catchphrases, one she attributes to her father. Essentially, it means "don't lie to me."
"You're a MORON!"
"I have X children and X grandchildren"
"Speak not!"
"Uncross your arms!"
"Raise your paw."note Meaning: Raise your hand. Used when Judge Judy is trying to identify the principal figures in a case outside of the plaintiff and defendant, if said figures are in court.
"Listen to Mother!"note Another way of telling a litigant to pay attention.
"You got snookered." note Meaning: you were cheated/deceived.
"Put on your listening ears!"
"God gave you two ears and one mouth for a reason!"
"Don't ask me questions. I don't answer your questions."
"Don't look over there. Look over here."note When a litigant looks away from Judge Judy.
"Stop playing with your papers!"
"People who lie, their mouths get dry."
"Don't try to teach a pig to sing. It doesn't work, and it annoys the pig."
"This is not a give-and-take. You speak, I rule, and then you shut up."
"The questions are going to get harder."note Said when a litigant has trouble answering a simple question, such as the date the events in question took place.
"I didn't ask you anything!"note To a litigant who interrupts or speaks out of turn.
"Don't try to figure out where I'm going. You're never going to figure out where I'm going."
"If you tell the truth, you don't have to have a good memory."
"This is not Show and Tell."note Used whenever a litigant brings a large or conspicuous piece of evidence. Judge Judy will typically ask the litigant or Byrd to place the item someplace where it's out of her sight before she begins the case.
"I'm not a therapist. I don't like people well enough to be a therapist."note Used in conjunction with the Quit Your Whining trope.
"Beauty fades, dumb is forever."
"The answer is either yes or no."
"That sounds like a case of what my father would have called: shoulda, woulda, coulda."
"Love your children more than you hate each other."note To separated or divorced parents in a dispute regarding their kids.
"Don't you watch this program?" note When a litigant tries telling Judge Judy a blatant lie and she doesn't buy it.
"You got into a kerfuffle."note The word, of Olde English origin, refers to a scuffle or fight.
"If this were Pinocchio, your nose would be growing."
"They don't keep me here because I'm gorgeous. They keep me here because I'm smart."
"Well, where did you think you were coming today, to the beach?!"note Said by Judge Judy when one of the litigants does not bring certain necessary documents or dresses inappropriately.
"I know EXACTLY who you are!"
"NEXT!"note Moving on from one part of a case to another. It's a signal that she's finished with the other parts of the case and any objections the litigants have to her ruling thus far will not be considered.
"I'm like a truth machine. Someone starts to lie and the hairs on the back of my neck stand up."
"Either you were lying here today or lying in your answer."
"That's not what you wrote/said in your answer."
"Let me read what you swore to in your answer." note Said when a litigant blatantly contradicts their written answer with a particularly ludicrous story that hardly matches up.
"You can't do that!"
"Listen to me very carefully!"
"That's not what the law says."
"I've been in this business for ___ years." Or the similar "I've been doing this job for longer than you've been alive!"
"There's something wrong with you."
"You're a hustler!"
"Get a job, collect cans!"
"Where do you live? Would you like to get home?" note When a litigant begins arguing with Judge Judy about her ruling, and Judge Judy reminds the litigant that the show paid to bring them to Los Angeles and won't pay to return them home unless the litigant agrees to abide by her ruling.
"I don't care about how you feel. Your feelings are irrelevant to me. If you want to talk about your feelings, go on Dr. Phil."
"You're as thick as this table!"
"There's only one attitude here, and that's mine."
"Houseguests and fish start to smell after three days." note Often uttered with cases involving living arrangements that went bad.
"I don't care whether [someone did something somewhere] or whether [same someone did same thing] on Pluto!"
"You wanna get to the facts, you go to a therapist. You wanna get to the law, you come to court."
"RIDICULOUS!"
"That didn't require an answer."note When litigants offer gratuitous information in response to a statement of Judge Judy's.
"Look at this face. Is that what you want this face to believe?" note Often used with blatantly dishonest litigants.
"The ball's in your court." note Signaling to a litigant to begin testifying.
"I don't believe in that kind of serendipity."note Meaning, it's unlikely that the events of a specific case are merely coincidental if they seem to be just a bit too suspicious or convenient.
"I am an ecumenical abuser." note Said when, after roasting one litigant, the judge proceeds to call out the other litigant for some wrongdoing.
"You say no, I say yes; I win, I'm the judge."
"I'm old; I can only do one thing at a time. Otherwise I get confused and then I can't trick you."
"That's a lot of Who Shot John."note Meaning "baloney."
"(You look like a fool, etc.) in front of ten million people."
"Just give me the Reader's Digest version." note When a litigant starts telling a long story full of extraneous details Judge Judy doesn't need.
"What part of 'No' [or "Goodbye", "Case dismissed", etc.] didn't you understand?"
"Don't (or "You can't") tell me what [they] said."note i.e. It's hearsay.
"Don't (or "You can't") tell me what [they] knew."note i.e. It calls for speculation.
"I don't care what you think. What you think is irrelevant to me."note When a litigant says, "I don't think I owe [them] anything."
"I eat up wise guys [or "morons", etc.] like you for breakfast, and still have room left over for oatmeal."
"Have you ever been psychiatrically hospitalized? Are you on any psychotropic drugs?" note Judge Judy often asks these questions of litigants to ascertain whether they were in their right minds when they committed the actions alleged in a case. Usually, it's only to make a point.
"So what?"/"Who cares?" Often couched as:
"Who cares what you feel?"note When a litigant tries to justify their behavior with some variant of "I felt humiliated/angry/threatened/etc.", or states "I don't think I owe [the plaintiff] anything."
"Who cares what you want?"note When a litigant tries to justify their behavior due to some esoteric benefit, i.e. a trespasser refuses to vacate the homeowner's property because s/he wants to speak to the homeowner and refuses to take 'no' for an answer.
"That's what we call puffing."note In cases involving the sale of a used car or some other item, "puffing" refers to anything outside "the four corners of the contract" - gratuitous details or anecdotes such as, "The car was owned by an old lady who drove it once a year to go to the Piggly Wiggly and back." Anything that constitutes puffing can't be considered as part of the case.
"If you want to make a fool of yourself, I'm more than happy to let you."note Usually said to a litigant with a ridiculous case.
"What are you doing here?"note Also said to a litigant with a ridiculous case.
"Believe me, you don't want to fall into my mouth." note Often used with a witness raising their hand to speak if the litigant whom they're supporting appears to be losing the case.
"That's not happening."note Said to a litigant presenting a case Judge Judy finds to be ridiculous or inflated.
"This is some America!" note Used regarding litigants who have been scamming the system, such as continuing to collect unemployment benefits after finding a job.
"Don't go off into tributaries. Just stay right there in that river." note When a litigant veers away from the main issue at hand to tell a side story.
"You picked [them]!" note Whenever a litigant complains about their ex's bad behavior.
"You ate the steak!"note Said by Judge Judy when a litigant used a good or service and refuses to pay for it, or tries to live at a property without paying rent. The analogy works like this: if you order a steak at a restaurant and eat the whole thing, you can't then refuse to pay for the steak because you didn't like how it tasted. The steak's already gone; it's too late to complain about it. Early versions of this analogy incorporated other food items, such as ribs or a turkey sandwich, but the basic idea remains the same.
"You can't do that!"note Said by Judge Judy when she finds out that a litigant did something illegal.
"I can't help you."note Informing a litigant that they have no case, prior to dismissal.
"Put your hand down!"
"Did you think this was going to be easy? This is absolutely not going to be easy."
"I don't give a rat's behind!" note She usually says this instead of "rat's ass." But not always.
"Don't ask me; I wasn't there."note When litigants finish a sentence with a "high rising terminal" - that is, using a rising pitch intonation at the end of a declarative sentence, as though the litigant were asking a question.
"Get to the point. I have other cases to do today."note When a litigant insists on telling a long story instead of getting to the heart of the case. And God help the litigant if it happens to be the last case before a lunch break, especially if the special of the day is sushi.
"You have thirty seconds to tell me (about something)."note A hint that what the litigant wants to talk about is ridiculous at face value; they're better off saying nothing.
The occasional use of Yiddish terms, such as "bubbe meise."note "Grandma story" in Yiddish, roughly the Yiddish equivalent of "fairy tale."
While not a catchphrase per se as it isn't verbal, barely an episode goes by without Judge Judy rapping on her desk to get the attention of a litigant who is talking out of turn, interrupting her, or otherwise not listening.
Judge Judy's occasional vocal tic of adding a short "a" in front of a word in order to emphasize the word - for example: "A-MOVE!!!" or "A-WRONG!!!"
"Listen to me very carefully!"
"You two deserve each other." note When Judge Judy finds both the plaintiff and the defendant equally odious.
"MOVE!" note Used in landlord/tenant disputes in which the tenant refused to pay rent because of some problem with the premises despite continuing to live there. Often goes hand in hand with "You ate the steak."
"We're done!" or "We're finished!" note Said by Judge Judy after rendering her verdict. Several seasons ago, this replaced "That's all!" and "Step out!" as her usual way of finishing off a case.
"If it doesn't make sense, it's not true!"note Whenever a litigant describes behaviors or situations that seem unlikely.
"Does it sound like you're losing?" or "Do I look like I need any help from you?"note Whenever a litigant interrupts the other's testimony even though Judy is already tearing the other litigant to shreds.
"Don't get too comfortable." note Said to Byrd or the parties involved if the case before her is frivolous.
"Then it doesn't exist." note Said when one of the parties doesn't have the evidence to back up their claim. Meaning: if she can't examine the evidence, said evidence does not exist as it pertains to the case, not that the evidence physically doesn't exist.
"Byrd, tell these people goodbye for me."note When the litigants are getting on Judge Judy's last nerve and she's had enough. Usually this is the point when a case is dismissed.
"Goodbye, good luck, adios, arrivederci, sayonara, have a happy life!"
Byrd
"Order! All rise! Your Honor, this is case number X in the matter of [Plaintiff] versus [Defendant]. Parties have been sworn in, Judge. [to the audience] You may be seated."note Byrd, at the beginning of every hearing. "Order, all rise" and "You may be seated," of course, do not appear in the 2020-21 season cases in which there was no studio audience due to the COVID-19 pandemic.
"Your honor, this is a recall of case number X in the matter of [Plaintiff] versus [Defendant]. Parties are reminded you're still under oath." note At the beginning of a case recall.
"Parties are excused, you may step out."note Said by Byrd after Judge Judy rules.
"All Parties in the matter of [Plaintiff] versus [Defendant]. Step Forward.note Said by Byrd to call the people in to the next case.
"Approach the podium."note Replaced "Step forward" in the 2020-21 season due to the required social distancing necessitated by COVID-19.
"This case is concluded. Parties are excused." note Replaced "Parties are excused, you may step out" in the 2020-21 season, again due to COVID-19 and the required social distancing."
