Values upheld by general society aren't always right. Joseph Sugarman has his wife lobotomized without a second thought to deal with her "womanly emotions," which is clearly depicted as being utterly cruel and is a key factor in setting off a chain of trauma that affects the Horseman family for generations to come, but medical research and public opinions on mental health circa the early 1940s would have considered it the most rational option.
Creative people want their hard work to at least be recognized. Both in his career and his efforts to improve as a person, BoJack makes his fair share of good and bad decisions, but even when he knows he makes mistakes or chooses unflattering acting jobs, he does still work at them (and considering his starvation for approval, they're pretty much one and the same), so it makes sense that he'd get defensive about Horsin' Around, even if he finds it cheesy. Similarly, Emily telling Bojack that she absolutely loves The Bojack Horseman Show specifically because she thinks it's awful sends the message that calling something So Bad, It's Good is still an insult to the person who made it.
The importance of being able to articulate your feelings and, to a lesser extent, listen to others. All of the Purple Prose that characters give when pontificating about life, love and relationships is them not understanding their own emotions well enough to identify exactly what they are, and a large part of the show's drama comes from just how frustrating it is to watch characters trying and failing to put the right words to their feelings to communicate exactly what they are to the people they want to listen to them. Meanwhile, the listeners are either apathetic to the person talking, just waiting for their turn to talk (a byproduct of the show's dialogue-heavyRapid-Fire Comedy) or are too inarticulate to give the right response.
You can't act like you're doomed, even if you are due to bad genetics or addictions. Otherwise, Self-Fulfilling Prophecy kicks in, and you need to fight for the right to your happiness so as to not hurt people in your life. With Sarah Lynn, she finally has millions in royalties that she can use to go to college and become an architect at 30, and she's beyond the influence of her domineering mother. Instead, Sarah Lynn cheerfully says she's going to surround herself with sycophants and enablers till she dies tragically young. In her last moments that happens, right when she expresses regret about her life and wanting to pursue her architect dreams. There's also BoJack, who believes he's a broken foal thanks to a lifetime of emotional abuse from his mother followed by betraying his best friend in Hollywood. Every time he believes he's doomed to be the same, his friends call him out and say that bad behavior is a choice, not a destiny.
Read the room when deciding to be selfish or not. Know when you are protecting yourself or hurting others. BoJack tells Diane You Did the Right Thing when she ditches her father's funeral after arranging it when she learns her own family didn't attend and stole her father's remains to turn into chum. Even so, Diane will call out the horse for his selfishness, and Todd gets this a lot.
If you're going to accuse somebody (especially a celebrity) of horrible misdeeds, make sure you have evidence to back up your claims before you go public with them, otherwise you won’t get anywhere. In "Hank After Dark", Diane uncovers allegations that Hank Hippopopalous has been abusing his secretaries, so she tries to bring them to light. However, she doesn't have any proof to back up her claims, and the secretaries aren't willing to talk, especially because Hank is aware of Diane’s very public crusade against him, making them even more fearful of speaking out against Hank. As a result, Diane ends up with nothing except people hating her for trying to smear a beloved celebrity, and is forced to flee the United States for a while for her own safety. Later on in the series, when Paige, Max, and Biscuits discover Bojack played a role in Sarah Lynn's death and did a large number of other misdeeds, they take the time to gather evidence of the celebrity's misdeeds with trusted sources while keeping their investigation out of the spotlight. This means that when they break the story, people believe them and the pedestal everybody kept Bojack on is broken.
When hanging out with drug addicts, remember that 911 paramedics have a Don't Ask policy. You won't get in trouble when dialing them to save someone's life but you will if you keep an overdose victim from getting the care they need. BoJack finds this out the hard way in season 6.
Beatrice insists to Bojack that he was "born broken" and that he would always turn out a mess, ignoring the fact that she screwed him up by mistreating him. Hollyhock proves how much garbage this kind of argument is: she has Horseman DNA or more specifically Butterscotch's, possibly has the same levels of depression as Bojack, ends up being hooked on weight loss supplements by a senile Beatrice, and in one moment suffers a severe panic attack. However, unlike Bojack, she has had people to pick her up when she was down: eight men in a polyamorous relationship who served as her legal guardians and love her deeply. And during her panic attack, Pete was able to help her out by giving her advice and a friendly person to talk too. Hollyhock didn't turn out like the other Horsemans because she had stable and functional relationships to fall back on.
Bojack, for all his faults, was certainly not a complete failure: he managed to become a successful sitcom star with enough money to retire early at least until he was sued into the ground by the Xerox Corporation and achieved some success in other fields. Partly because he found a friend, Herb, who was supportive of him and helped him become a success. Whenever he's had people who believed in him and picked him up when he was down, Bojack can shine like a star.
Beatrice, meanwhile, had nobody in her life who was ever truly supportive of her: her loving older brother died in war, her loving mother was lobotomized, her father was a misogynistic nutcase who only thought she was capable of being a housewife, her peers bullied her, and Butterscotch was a terrible husband. As a result, she died in a crappy retirement home with no one, except her estranged son, for company. While she is to blame for being a terrible parent, it is possible her downward spiral could've been avoided had she found supportive company or family.
The lesson of Bojack, Hollyhock, and Beatrice is that assuming other people will turn out bad will make them bad, but giving them love and support will help them overcome any obstacle.
Trying to maintain traditional gender and family relationships for the sake of normalcy is detrimental to your health, and non-traditional relationships can be just as (if nor more) fulfilling and healthy.
Beatrice rejected Corbin Creamerman just because her father made their marriage arranged, and Corbin was a boring nerd. Butterscotch, meanwhile, was the more romantic suitor who gave Beatrice the night of passion she dreamed off. However, Butterscotch turned out not to be a good match, while Corbin turned out to be a decent guy. And despite their marriage being terrible, Beatrice and Butterscotch forced themselves to maintain a facade of normalcy for no other reason than societal expectations, destroying their own mental health and that of their son. Had they divorced, they could've turned out happier and possibly become better parents than Bojack.
Diane trying to remain dutiful and loyal to her own family didn't work out since her family were complete assholes who made her waste time and money on a task they didn't care for. Cutting them off has helped Diane grow as a person. And if Bojack had finally cut his mom out of his life sooner, he wouldn't have been nearly as screwed up.
Hollyhock's family life is incredibly non-traditional: she is the adopted child of eight men in a polyamorous relationship. However, by choosing love and being themselves over traditional roles, these dads became happy people were able to give Hollyhock a healthy and nurturing environment.
