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There's also the satirical Venezuelan news blog ''Blog/ElChiguireBipolar'',[[note]]Spanish for ''"The Bipolar Capibara"''[[/note]] which uses a similar, Onion-like format to lampoon the country's political situation, and ''[[http://www.legorafi.fr/ Le Gorafi]]''[[note]]the name is an inversion of ''Le Figaro'', a rightwing newspaper[[/note]], a French website created during the 2012 presidential campaign. And, last but not least, there's ''also'' the good old ''{{Website/Uncyclopedia}}'', which is to ''{{Website/Wikipedia}}'' what ''The Onion'' is to journalism. As of 2019 there also exists a ''VideoGame/{{Stellaris}}''[[/index]] version called ''Xenonion News'' created by fans of the game, similar to The Onion but set in a loosely connected Stellaris universe.
to:
There's also the satirical Venezuelan [[CurrentEventsBlog news blog blog]] ''Blog/ElChiguireBipolar'',[[note]]Spanish for ''"The Bipolar Capibara"''[[/note]] which uses a similar, Onion-like format to lampoon the country's political situation, and ''[[http://www.legorafi.fr/ Le Gorafi]]''[[note]]the name is an inversion of ''Le Figaro'', a rightwing newspaper[[/note]], a French website created during the 2012 presidential campaign. And, last but not least, there's ''also'' the good old ''{{Website/Uncyclopedia}}'', which is to ''{{Website/Wikipedia}}'' what ''The Onion'' is to journalism. As of 2019 there also exists a ''VideoGame/{{Stellaris}}''[[/index]] version called ''Xenonion News'' created by fans of the game, similar to The Onion but set in a loosely connected Stellaris universe.
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* TrueArt: InUniverse: "[[http://www.theonion.com/article/humanity-still-producing-new-art-though-megadeths--50983 Humanity Still Producing New Art as Though Megadeth's 'Rust in Peace' Doesn't Already Exist]]"
* TrueArtIsIncomprehensible: InUniverse: "[[http://www.theonion.com/articles/obamas-weekly-video-addresses-becoming-increasingl,17649/ Obama's Weekly Video Addresses Becoming Increasingly Avant-Garde]]".
* TrueArtIsIncomprehensible: InUniverse: "[[http://www.theonion.com/articles/obamas-weekly-video-addresses-becoming-increasingl,17649/ Obama's Weekly Video Addresses Becoming Increasingly Avant-Garde]]".
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* AnimalWrongsGroup: PETA:
** [[https://www.theonion.com/heroic-peta-commandos-kill-49-save-rabbit-1819564245 "Heroic PETA Commandos Kill 49, Save Rabbit"]] involves PETA raiding a lab and killing scientists to save a rabbit. To make matters worse, [[ShootTheShaggyDog said rabbit gets eaten almost immediately after they free it]].
** [[https://www.theonion.com/heroic-peta-commandos-kill-49-save-rabbit-1819564245 "Heroic PETA Commandos Kill 49, Save Rabbit"]] involves PETA raiding a lab and killing scientists to save a rabbit. To make matters worse, [[ShootTheShaggyDog said rabbit gets eaten almost immediately after they free it]].
to:
* AnimalWrongsGroup: PETA:
**[[https://www.theonion.com/heroic-peta-commandos-kill-49-save-rabbit-1819564245 "Heroic PETA Commandos Kill 49, Save Rabbit"]] involves PETA raiding a lab and killing scientists to save a rabbit. To make matters worse, [[ShootTheShaggyDog said rabbit gets eaten almost immediately after they free it]].
**
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* AppealToTradition: "[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JnX-D4kkPOQ Should The Government Stop Dumping Money Into A Giant Hole?]]" has this as a major focus: the reporters focus only on the Money Hole's status as a long tradition and a part of American identity (with a side note of [[SunkCostFallacy "to stop now would be an insult to everyone * AwfulWeddedLife: Jean Teasdale and her "Hubby Rick". Rick is an alcoholic who spends most of his free time at a bar, and her interactions with Jean mainly consist of him putting her down or making fun of her. Jean got her ideas about marriage from Phyllis Diller's routines and Erma Bombeck's columns; in [[https://local.theonion.com/you-jeanketeers-could-have-said-something-earlier-you-1819584528 one article]] she writes about her astonishment upon learning that in theory, a marriage is supposed to be happy and harmonious.
to:
* AppealToTradition: "[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JnX-D4kkPOQ Should The Government Stop Dumping Money Into A Giant Hole?]]" has this as a major focus: the reporters focus only on the Money Hole's status as a long tradition and a part of American identity (with a side note of [[SunkCostFallacy "to "[[SunkCostFallacy to stop now would be an insult to everyone everyone]]".)
* AwfulWeddedLife: Jean Teasdale and her "Hubby Rick". Rick is an alcoholic who spends most of his free time at a bar, and her interactions with Jean mainly consist of him putting her down or making fun ofher. Jean her; Jean, meanwhile, got her ideas about marriage from Phyllis Diller's routines and Erma Bombeck's columns; in columns, and is oblivious to the fact that their very one-sided "war of the sexes" is anything but emotionally deadening, let alone cute. In [[https://local.theonion.com/you-jeanketeers-could-have-said-something-earlier-you-1819584528 one article]] article]], she writes about her astonishment upon learning that that, in theory, a marriage is supposed to be happy and harmonious.
* AwfulWeddedLife: Jean Teasdale and her "Hubby Rick". Rick is an alcoholic who spends most of his free time at a bar, and her interactions with Jean mainly consist of him putting her down or making fun of
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* GlurgeAddict: Jean Teasdale's columns paint her life as an endless stream of cute "kitties", ice cream, Precious Moments figurines, and endearing squabbles with her man's-man "hubby" Rick. The reality of her situation -- that she's a deluded 40+ sad-sack, and Rick is a neglectful, alcoholic, emotionally abusive prick -- seems to escape her.
* TheGrimReaper: Frequently appears in Kelly's cartoons, where he's used as overblown symbolism that things Stan Kelly doesn't like are evil and wrong.
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* TheGrimReaper: Frequently appears in the cartoons.
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* ConvictionByContradiction: "[[http://www.theonion.com/content/node/29537 Idaville Detective]] [[Literature/EncyclopediaBrown 'Encyclopedia' Brown]] Found Dead In Library Dumpster". What was the perpetrator's alibi? [[spoiler:He was at the North Pole watching the penguins.]]
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* ConvictionByContradiction: "[[http://www."[[https://www.theonion.com/content/node/29537 com/idaville-detective-encyclopedia-brown-found-dead-in-lib-1819567098 Idaville Detective]] Detective 'Encyclopedia' Brown Found Dead In Library Dumpster]]", parodying [[Literature/EncyclopediaBrown 'Encyclopedia' Brown]] Found Dead In Library Dumpster". What the eponymous series]] by depicting Brown as having still solved minor cases this way well into middle age, and being praised by Police Commissioner Bugs Meany for his "arrest-to-conviction-due-to-obscure-trivia rate". [[spoiler:Near the end of the article, Bugs, facing allegations of corruption and possible involvement in Brown's death, casually mentions that he was the perpetrator's alibi? [[spoiler:He was at "at the North Pole watching penguins" at the penguins.]]time of the murder.]]
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Added DiffLines:
** "[[https://www.theonion.com/asian-teen-has-sweaty-middle-aged-man-fetish-1819570514 Asian Teen Has Sweaty Middle-Aged-Man Fetish]]"
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* TrainingFromHell: [[https://www.theonion.com/i-want-to-be-in-the-olympics-someday-says-delusional-1847422548 ‘I Want To Be In The Olympics Someday,’ Says Delusional Kindergartner Already 4 Years Behind In Elite Training]] claims that the titular kindergartener Mia Gaughan is already 4 years behind in elite training, and calls her narcissistic and foolish for even thinking of competing in the Olympics when she's that far behind.
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* AlphaBitch: ''Fact Zone'' host Brooke Alvarez. She even [[https://www.theonion.com/factzone-viewer-has-sad-pathetic-life-1819594945 exposed the entire sad life of a viewer]] ''[[DisproportionateRetribution just]]'' for correcting a history segment.
to:
* AlphaBitch: ''Fact Zone'' host Brooke Alvarez. She even [[https://www.theonion.com/factzone-viewer-has-sad-pathetic-life-1819594945 exposed the entire sad life of a viewer]] ''[[DisproportionateRetribution just]]'' for correcting a history segment. In a cameo appearance, Creator/RachelMaddow describes her as a "cheerleader cruel bitch type".
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Stockholm Syndrome is now a disambig.
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* ManipulativeEditing: Parodied in the video "[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=apwjgE0n9fc&feature=plcp Man Had Sex With Wife Thousands Of Times Before Killing Her]]", part of the fictional TrueCrime ShowWithinAShow ''Raw Justice''. The "real" story appears to be a tragic accident in which a normal couple were having passionate sex in the kitchen before the husband performed a possibly lethal "donkey punch" on his wife. ''Raw Justice'''s version turns it into an oversensationalized crime story about a "coital boogeyman" who held his wife captive for years as a SexSlave before finally and coldly committing premeditated murder. They use every editing trick in the book to make the husband seem like a monstrous rapist and the wife as a battered victim with StockholmSyndrome, while the actual content of the story is anything but horrific.
to:
* ManipulativeEditing: Parodied in the video "[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=apwjgE0n9fc&feature=plcp Man Had Sex With Wife Thousands Of Times Before Killing Her]]", part of the fictional TrueCrime ShowWithinAShow ''Raw Justice''. The "real" story appears to be a tragic accident in which a normal couple were having passionate sex in the kitchen before the husband performed a possibly lethal "donkey punch" on his wife. ''Raw Justice'''s version turns it into an oversensationalized crime story about a "coital boogeyman" who held his wife captive for years as a SexSlave before finally and coldly committing premeditated murder. They use every editing trick in the book to make the husband seem like a monstrous rapist and the wife as a battered victim with StockholmSyndrome, UsefulNotes/StockholmSyndrome, while the actual content of the story is anything but horrific.
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-->According to the CEO, Hemstead's contributions to Pinnacle Insurance will pay even greater dividends when he is let go and replaced with a college graduate willing to work for half the salary, allowing Pardahee to give himself a substantial raise.
to:
-->According to the CEO, Hemstead's contributions to Pinnacle Insurance will pay even greater dividends when he is let go and replaced with a college graduate willing to work for half the salary, allowing Pardahee to give himself a substantial raise.%%
* YouNoTakeCandle
** "[[http://www.theonion.com/audio/fire-hot-14061 Fire Hot]]" is presented like a caveman talking about fire.
** "[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Lsi4xh0PjE Republicans Reach Out To Women With New 'No Punch Pretty Lady' Bill]]" features a congressman talking like this.
** "[[http://www.theonion.com/articles/this-what-world-like-now,32068/ This What World Like Now]]" is a title-only example.
* YouNoTakeCandle
** "[[http://www.theonion.com/audio/fire-hot-14061 Fire Hot]]" is presented like a caveman talking about fire.
** "[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Lsi4xh0PjE Republicans Reach Out To Women With New 'No Punch Pretty Lady' Bill]]" features a congressman talking like this.
** "[[http://www.theonion.com/articles/this-what-world-like-now,32068/ This What World Like Now]]" is a title-only example.
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* KnuckleCracking: The intimidating spinal variant in "[[https://www.theonion.com/bad-guy-signals-badness-with-neck-crack-1850818174 Bad Guy Signals Badness with Neck Crack]]".
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Page was cut
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** Part of Jean Teasdale's CloudCuckoolander act is her never accepting responsibility or blame for her faults, whether it's getting fired[[note]]She got caught using Website/EBay -- on the boss's computer, no less -- and remains convinced that the boss just hated her[[/note]] or her poor sense of humor[[note]]A friend declines to use Jean's jokes in a stand-up act because they're pithy and toothless, but Jean thinks the friend was threatened by the idea of a superior comic[[/note]]. When a local magazine calls her article out for being garbage, she insists that they don't know what they're talking about -- [[HypocriticalHumor while doing]] '''[[HypocriticalHumor everything]]''' [[HypocriticalHumor that they said makes her articles garbage]].
to:
** Part of Jean Teasdale's CloudCuckoolander act is her never accepting responsibility or blame for her faults, whether it's getting fired[[note]]She got caught using Website/EBay eBay -- on the boss's computer, no less -- and remains convinced that the boss just hated her[[/note]] or her poor sense of humor[[note]]A friend declines to use Jean's jokes in a stand-up act because they're pithy and toothless, but Jean thinks the friend was threatened by the idea of a superior comic[[/note]]. When a local magazine calls her article out for being garbage, she insists that they don't know what they're talking about -- [[HypocriticalHumor while doing]] '''[[HypocriticalHumor everything]]''' [[HypocriticalHumor that they said makes her articles garbage]].
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There's also the satirical Venezuelan news blog ''Blog/ElChiguireBipolar'',[[note]]Spanish for ''"The Bipolar Capibara"''[[/note]] which uses a similar, Onion-like format to lampoon the country's political situation, and ''[[http://www.legorafi.fr/ Le Gorafi]]''[[note]]the name is an inversion of ''Le Figaro'', a rightwing newspaper[[/note]], a French website created during the 2012 presidential campaign. And, last but not least, there's ''also'' the good old ''{{Wiki/Uncyclopedia}}'', which is to ''{{Website/Wikipedia}}'' what ''The Onion'' is to journalism. As of 2019 there also exists a ''VideoGame/{{Stellaris}}''[[/index]] version called ''Xenonion News'' created by fans of the game, similar to The Onion but set in a loosely connected Stellaris universe.
to:
There's also the satirical Venezuelan news blog ''Blog/ElChiguireBipolar'',[[note]]Spanish for ''"The Bipolar Capibara"''[[/note]] which uses a similar, Onion-like format to lampoon the country's political situation, and ''[[http://www.legorafi.fr/ Le Gorafi]]''[[note]]the name is an inversion of ''Le Figaro'', a rightwing newspaper[[/note]], a French website created during the 2012 presidential campaign. And, last but not least, there's ''also'' the good old ''{{Wiki/Uncyclopedia}}'', ''{{Website/Uncyclopedia}}'', which is to ''{{Website/Wikipedia}}'' what ''The Onion'' is to journalism. As of 2019 there also exists a ''VideoGame/{{Stellaris}}''[[/index]] version called ''Xenonion News'' created by fans of the game, similar to The Onion but set in a loosely connected Stellaris universe.
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** "[[https://local.theonion.com/man-wearing-cobra-command-shirt-missed-the-whole-point-1834243488 Man Wearing Cobra Command Shirt Missed The Whole Point Of ‘G.I. Joe’]]"- Rowe's employers complain about him wearing a shirt for the fictitious terrorist organization, while they named their company after the president and greatest general of the Confederate States of America, who rebelled against the U.S. in the American Civil War.
to:
** "[[https://local.theonion.com/man-wearing-cobra-command-shirt-missed-the-whole-point-1834243488 Man Wearing Cobra Command Shirt Missed The Whole Point Of of ‘G.I. Joe’]]"- Joe’]]" -- Rowe's employers complain about him wearing a shirt for the fictitious terrorist organization, while they named their company after the president and greatest general of the Confederate States of America, who rebelled against the U.S. in the American Civil War.War.
** A recurring aspect of the humor in the mock political cartoons is that Stan Kelly, their fictional author, will happily switch sides on any given argument again and again based on his myopic focus and whether or not things inconvencience him personally. For instance, he will routinely lambast "today's teens" for their various immoral and lecherous habits in contrast to wholesome, all-American children, and then criticize them just as harshly for being teetotallers instead of honoring the American tradition of drinking like fish, since he's a habitual drunkard and doesn't like it when people do anything differently from him.
** A recurring aspect of the humor in the mock political cartoons is that Stan Kelly, their fictional author, will happily switch sides on any given argument again and again based on his myopic focus and whether or not things inconvencience him personally. For instance, he will routinely lambast "today's teens" for their various immoral and lecherous habits in contrast to wholesome, all-American children, and then criticize them just as harshly for being teetotallers instead of honoring the American tradition of drinking like fish, since he's a habitual drunkard and doesn't like it when people do anything differently from him.
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* OnlySixFaces: The ''American Voices'' feature has been showing the same six or so photos for over a decade, with different names and occupations each time (though one of them is often a systems analyst).
to:
* OnlySixFaces: OnlySixFaces:
** The ''American Voices'' feature has been showing the same six or so photos for over a decade, with different names and occupations each time (though one of them is often a systems analyst).
** The ''American Voices'' feature has been showing the same six or so photos for over a decade, with different names and occupations each time (though one of them is often a systems analyst).
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* OpinionMyopia: InUniverse: "[[http://www.theonion.com/articles/man-who-enjoys-thing-informed-he-is-wrong,7057/ Man Who Enjoys Thing Informed He Is Wrong]]".
to:
* OpinionMyopia: InUniverse: "[[http://www.InUniverse. Stan Kelly, the fictional creator of ''The Onion''[='s=] parodic political cartoons, refuses to accept that people might differ from him in aeshetics or opinion on even the most trivial subject without being moral degenerates. One cartoon, for instance, is dedicated entirely to lambasting modern sickos for their anti-American and freedom-hating habit of... eating wraps instead of sandwiches.
%%-->"[[http://www.theonion.com/articles/man-who-enjoys-thing-informed-he-is-wrong,7057/ Man Who Enjoys Thing Informed He Is Wrong]]".
%%-->"[[http://www.theonion.com/articles/man-who-enjoys-thing-informed-he-is-wrong,7057/ Man Who Enjoys Thing Informed He Is Wrong]]".
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The Onion has in the past extended into a movie (critically derided, even by its own AV Club), and most recently two TV series — ''OSN Sportsdome'' on Creator/ComedyCentral and ''Onion News Network'' on IFC. In 2013, a pilot for ''Onion News Empire'', a behind-the-scenes look at the ONN newsroom, was made for Amazon.com. (It wasn't picked up.) There have also been three original Onion books — ''Literature/OurDumbCentury'', a history of the 20th century told through fake Onion front pages, ''Literature/OurDumbWorld'', a HollywoodAtlas filled with stereotypes and BlackComedy, and ''Literature/TheOnionBookOfKnownKnowledge'', a mock encyclopedia of all existing knowledge.
to:
The Onion has in the past extended into a movie (critically derided, even by its own AV Club), and most recently two TV series — ''OSN Sportsdome'' on Creator/ComedyCentral and ''Onion News Network'' on IFC. In 2013, a pilot for ''Onion News Empire'', a behind-the-scenes look at the ONN newsroom, was made for Amazon.com. (It wasn't picked up.) There have also been three original Onion books — ''Literature/OurDumbCentury'', a history of the 20th century told through fake Onion front pages, pages; ''Literature/OurDumbWorld'', a HollywoodAtlas filled with stereotypes and BlackComedy, BlackComedy; and ''Literature/TheOnionBookOfKnownKnowledge'', a mock encyclopedia of all existing knowledge.
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* {{Deconstruction}}: "[[http://www.theonion.com/content/video/ultra_realistic_modern_warfare Ultra-Realistic Modern Warfare Game Features Awaiting Orders, Repairing Trucks]]".
to:
* {{Deconstruction}}: {{Deconstruction}}:
** "[[http://www.theonion.com/content/video/ultra_realistic_modern_warfare Ultra-Realistic Modern Warfare Game Features Awaiting Orders, Repairing Trucks]]".
** "[[http://www.theonion.com/content/video/ultra_realistic_modern_warfare Ultra-Realistic Modern Warfare Game Features Awaiting Orders, Repairing Trucks]]".
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* StoryArc: In July 2009, T. Herman Zweibel [[ChinaTakesOverTheWorld sold the Onion]] to [[http://www.yuwanmei.com a Chinese salvage fishery]], and the publication was quickly filled with pro-China propaganda and ads for fish byproducts. However, after a few days, the Chinese realized the collapse of the newspaper industry made their purchase worthless and gave the ''Onion'' back to its original management. This did not affect the AV Club, although they did let worried readers know that the company was indeed ''not'' sold to the Chinese.
to:
* StoryArc: StoryArc:
** In July 2009, T. Herman Zweibel [[ChinaTakesOverTheWorld sold the Onion]] to [[http://www.yuwanmei.com a Chinese salvage fishery]], and the publication was quickly filled with pro-China propaganda and ads for fish byproducts. However, after a few days, the Chinese realized the collapse of the newspaper industry made their purchase worthless and gave the ''Onion'' back to its original management. This did not affect the AV Club, although they did let worried readers know that the company was indeed ''not'' sold to the Chinese.
** In July 2009, T. Herman Zweibel [[ChinaTakesOverTheWorld sold the Onion]] to [[http://www.yuwanmei.com a Chinese salvage fishery]], and the publication was quickly filled with pro-China propaganda and ads for fish byproducts. However, after a few days, the Chinese realized the collapse of the newspaper industry made their purchase worthless and gave the ''Onion'' back to its original management. This did not affect the AV Club, although they did let worried readers know that the company was indeed ''not'' sold to the Chinese.
Changed line(s) 863,864 (click to see context) from:
* SurprisinglyRealisticOutcome: "[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mlRK-DtcqC0 Being A Detective Who Talks To Ghosts Not As Exciting As TV]]"
** "[[http://www.theonion.com/articles/scrappy-band-of-lovable-misfits-no-match-for-rich,179/ Scrappy Band Of Lovable Misfits No Match For Rich Kids]]" does this in several ways, from the entire premise to more specific examples (the misfits get sued for a panty raid, and when they soak the rival camp's director and his eviction papers, he just gets another copy).
** "[[http://www.theonion.com/articles/scrappy-band-of-lovable-misfits-no-match-for-rich,179/ Scrappy Band Of Lovable Misfits No Match For Rich Kids]]" does this in several ways, from the entire premise to more specific examples (the misfits get sued for a panty raid, and when they soak the rival camp's director and his eviction papers, he just gets another copy).
to:
* SurprisinglyRealisticOutcome: SurprisinglyRealisticOutcome:
** "[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mlRK-DtcqC0 Being A Detective Who Talks To Ghosts Not As Exciting As TV]]"
** "[[http://www.theonion.com/articles/scrappy-band-of-lovable-misfits-no-match-for-rich,179/ Scrappy Band Of Lovable Misfits No Match For Rich Kids]]" does this in several ways, from the entire premise to more specificexamples (the examples.
*** The misfits get sued and fined under breaking and entering charges fora their panty raid, raid while hacking the rival camp's computers to display crude messages just earned their hacker a dozen subpoenas and when jail time.
*** The rich kids win not just because they are snobs. It is because they have better funding, training and equipment, something no amount of pluck can cover. Outside of cheating, they can never lose.
*** When they soak the rival camp's director and his eviction papers, he just gets anothercopy).copy.
** "[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mlRK-DtcqC0 Being A Detective Who Talks To Ghosts Not As Exciting As TV]]"
** "[[http://www.theonion.com/articles/scrappy-band-of-lovable-misfits-no-match-for-rich,179/ Scrappy Band Of Lovable Misfits No Match For Rich Kids]]" does this in several ways, from the entire premise to more specific
*** The misfits get sued and fined under breaking and entering charges for
*** The rich kids win not just because they are snobs. It is because they have better funding, training and equipment, something no amount of pluck can cover. Outside of cheating, they can never lose.
*** When they soak the rival camp's director and his eviction papers, he just gets another
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Deleting blocked out info to make space for further additions
Deleted line(s) 27 (click to see context) :
%% * TwentyFourHourNewsNetworks: "[[http://www.theonion.com/articles/media-landscape-redefined-by-24second-news-cycle,2213/ Media Landscape Redefined By 24-Second News Cycle]]"
Deleted line(s) 29,34 (click to see context) :
%% * AbsentMindedProfessor: "[[http://www.theonion.com/content/node/29701 Cure For Cancer 'Around Here Somewhere']]".
%% * AbusiveParents:
%% ** "[[http://www.theonion.com/article/majority-of-parents-abuse-children-children-report-2183/ Majority of Parents Abuse Children, Children Report]]"
%% ** "[[http://www.theonion.com/articles/foster-mom-doesnt-pick-least-favorites,30791/ Foster Mom Doesn't Pick Least Favorites']]".
%% ** "[[http://www.theonion.com/article/father-apologizes-taking-out-anger-wrong-son-50819 Father Apologizes for Taking Out Anger on Wrong Son]]"
%% * AdventurerArchaeologist: "[[http://www.theonion.com/content/node/38680 Archaeologist Tired of Unearthing Unspeakable Ancient Evils]]".
%% * AbusiveParents:
%% ** "[[http://www.theonion.com/article/majority-of-parents-abuse-children-children-report-2183/ Majority of Parents Abuse Children, Children Report]]"
%% ** "[[http://www.theonion.com/articles/foster-mom-doesnt-pick-least-favorites,30791/ Foster Mom Doesn't Pick Least Favorites']]".
%% ** "[[http://www.theonion.com/article/father-apologizes-taking-out-anger-wrong-son-50819 Father Apologizes for Taking Out Anger on Wrong Son]]"
%% * AdventurerArchaeologist: "[[http://www.theonion.com/content/node/38680 Archaeologist Tired of Unearthing Unspeakable Ancient Evils]]".
Deleted line(s) 36 (click to see context) :
%% * AgeInappropriateArt: "[[http://www.theonion.com/articles/secondgraders-wow-audience-with-school-production,1883/ Second-Graders Wow Audience With School Production Of Equus]]".
Deleted line(s) 38,43 (click to see context) :
%% ** "[[http://www.theonion.com/video/voting-machines-elect-one-of-their-own-as-presiden,14286/ Voting Machines Elect One Of Their Own As President]]".
%% ** "[[http://www.theonion.com/articles/sweating-obama-admits-drone-strikes-have-been-happ,31219/ Sweating Obama Admits Drone Strikes Have Been Happening On Their Own]]".
%% ** "[[https://www.theonion.com/biden-presses-cybernetic-biden-replica-on-growing-threa-1847095187 Biden Presses Cybernetic Biden Replica On Growing Threat Of Automation]]"
%% * AirVentPassageway:
%% ** "[[http://www.theonion.com/content/node/28978 Clinton Escapes Through Air Vent]]".
%% ** "[[http://www.theonion.com/graphic/report-1-in-5-air-ducts-contains-person-looking-li-33039 Report: 1 In 5 Air Ducts Contains Person Looking, Listening In On You]]"
%% ** "[[http://www.theonion.com/articles/sweating-obama-admits-drone-strikes-have-been-happ,31219/ Sweating Obama Admits Drone Strikes Have Been Happening On Their Own]]".
%% ** "[[https://www.theonion.com/biden-presses-cybernetic-biden-replica-on-growing-threa-1847095187 Biden Presses Cybernetic Biden Replica On Growing Threat Of Automation]]"
%% * AirVentPassageway:
%% ** "[[http://www.theonion.com/content/node/28978 Clinton Escapes Through Air Vent]]".
%% ** "[[http://www.theonion.com/graphic/report-1-in-5-air-ducts-contains-person-looking-li-33039 Report: 1 In 5 Air Ducts Contains Person Looking, Listening In On You]]"
Deleted line(s) 50,53 (click to see context) :
%% * AllMenArePerverts:
%% ** "[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xbVifPkbYsk 12-Year-Old Boy Scouts Offer To Give Breast Exams]]".
%% ** "[[http://www.theonion.com/articles/poll-finds-majority-of-male-voters-would-have-elec,18436/ Poll Finds Majority Of Male Voters Would Have Elected Naked Woman]]". ({{NSFW}})
%% * AllYourBaseAreBelongToUs: "[[http://www.theonion.com/articles/congress-adds-all-your-base-are-belong-to-us-amend,3638/ Congress Adds 'All Your Base Are Belong To Us' Amendment To Bankruptcy Bill]]"
%% ** "[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xbVifPkbYsk 12-Year-Old Boy Scouts Offer To Give Breast Exams]]".
%% ** "[[http://www.theonion.com/articles/poll-finds-majority-of-male-voters-would-have-elec,18436/ Poll Finds Majority Of Male Voters Would Have Elected Naked Woman]]". ({{NSFW}})
%% * AllYourBaseAreBelongToUs: "[[http://www.theonion.com/articles/congress-adds-all-your-base-are-belong-to-us-amend,3638/ Congress Adds 'All Your Base Are Belong To Us' Amendment To Bankruptcy Bill]]"
Deleted line(s) 55 (click to see context) :
%% ** "[[http://www.theonion.com/articles/group-of-popular-girls-reduces-nation-to-tears,2838 Group Of Popular Girls Reduces Nation To Tears]]"
Deleted line(s) 57,64 (click to see context) :
%% * AmericansHateTingle:[[invoked]]
%% ** "[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5xLn-X8YJRg Soccer Officially Announces It Is Gay]]".
%% ** "[[http://www.onionsportsnetwork.com/video/suffering-cleveland-bans-all-professional-sports,19701/ Suffering Cleveland Bans All Professional Sports]]".
%% * AnachronismStew: One Jim Anchower column is [[http://www.theonion.com/blogpost/my-hover-car-is-shot-16635 randomly set in the future.]]
%% * AndIMustScream: "[[http://www.theonion.com/articles/study-finds-hearing-loved-ones-voice-induces-excru,27035/ Study Finds Hearing Loved One's Voice Induces Excruciating Pain In Coma Patients]]"
%% * {{Angrish}}: "[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6ogM0aDe2Pc BREAKING: Incomprehensible Shouting Named Official U.S. Language]]"
%% * AnimalAthleteLoophole: "[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HdBrQTe0oG8 Kentucky Violated NCAA Rules While Recruiting Basketball-Playing Dog]]".
%% ** "[[http://www.theonion.com/articles/washedup-air-bud-signs-with-greek-pro-team,27510/ Washed-Up Air Bud Signs With Greek Pro Team]]".
%% ** "[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5xLn-X8YJRg Soccer Officially Announces It Is Gay]]".
%% ** "[[http://www.onionsportsnetwork.com/video/suffering-cleveland-bans-all-professional-sports,19701/ Suffering Cleveland Bans All Professional Sports]]".
%% * AnachronismStew: One Jim Anchower column is [[http://www.theonion.com/blogpost/my-hover-car-is-shot-16635 randomly set in the future.]]
%% * AndIMustScream: "[[http://www.theonion.com/articles/study-finds-hearing-loved-ones-voice-induces-excru,27035/ Study Finds Hearing Loved One's Voice Induces Excruciating Pain In Coma Patients]]"
%% * {{Angrish}}: "[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6ogM0aDe2Pc BREAKING: Incomprehensible Shouting Named Official U.S. Language]]"
%% * AnimalAthleteLoophole: "[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HdBrQTe0oG8 Kentucky Violated NCAA Rules While Recruiting Basketball-Playing Dog]]".
%% ** "[[http://www.theonion.com/articles/washedup-air-bud-signs-with-greek-pro-team,27510/ Washed-Up Air Bud Signs With Greek Pro Team]]".
Deleted line(s) 68,70 (click to see context) :
%% ** "[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q2z2lTUR5Ao Advocacy Group Decries PETA's Inhumane Treatment Of Women]]"
%% * AnimatedAdaptation: "[[http://www.theonion.com/content/news/aaron_sorkin_announces_new_west Aaron Sorkin Announces New 'West Wing' Animated Series At SorCon]]".
%% * TheAntiNihilist: "[[http://www.theonion.com/articles/existentialist-firefighter-delays-3-deaths,17500/ Existentialist Firefighter Delays 3 Deaths]]"
%% * AnimatedAdaptation: "[[http://www.theonion.com/content/news/aaron_sorkin_announces_new_west Aaron Sorkin Announces New 'West Wing' Animated Series At SorCon]]".
%% * TheAntiNihilist: "[[http://www.theonion.com/articles/existentialist-firefighter-delays-3-deaths,17500/ Existentialist Firefighter Delays 3 Deaths]]"
Changed line(s) 74,89 (click to see context) from:
* AppealToTradition: "[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JnX-D4kkPOQ Should The Government Stop Dumping Money Into A Giant Hole?]]" has this as a major focus: the reporters focus only on the Money Hole's status as a long tradition and a part of American identity (with a side note of [[SunkCostFallacy "to stop now would be an insult to everyone who's dumped money in the hole"]]), and nobody elaborates on why destroying money is actually beneficial.
%% * ArchiveBinge: InUniverse, "[[http://www.theonion.com/articles/new-netflix-gas-lets-users-inhale-multiple-seasons,33992/ New Netflix Gas Lets Users Inhale Multiple Seasons Of TV Shows]]"
%% * AreYouPonderingWhatImPondering: "[[http://www.theonion.com/articles/if-only-there-were-some-way-i-could-watch-premium,17805/ If Only There Were Some Way I Could Watch Premium Movies In The Comfort Of My Own Home]]".
%% * ArtifactOfAttraction: "[[http://www.theonion.com/content/node/45795 Wool Blanket Destroys Commune]]".
%% * ArtifactOfDoom: "[[http://www.theonion.com/video/ashton-moves-on-from-demi-dating-evil-black-disc,26880/ Ashton Moves On From Demi, Dating Evil Black Disc]]".
%% * ArtifactTitle: "[[http://www.theonion.com/content/news_briefs/steeler_defense_renamed_mid Steeler Defense Renamed 'Mid-Level White-Collar Curtain' To More Accurately Reflect Contemporary Pittsburgh]]".
%% * ArtificialStupidity: "[[http://www.theonion.com/articles/guard-in-video-game-under-strict-orders-to-repeate,37177 Guard In Video Game Under Strict Orders To Repeatedly Pace Same Stretch Of Hallway]]", a report on ''VideoGame/MetalGearSolid2SonsOfLiberty''.
%% * ArtisticLicenseAnimalCare: "[[http://www.theonion.com/articles/as-much-as-i-hated-putting-my-dog-to-sleep-i-know,11522/ As Much As I Hated Putting My Dog To Sleep, I Know He'll Feel Better When He Wakes Up]]".
%% * AsLongAsItSoundsForeign: "[[http://www.theonion.com/content/node/33632 I Bet I Can Speak Spanish]]".
%% * AsLongAsThereIsEvil: "[[http://www.theonion.com/articles/osama-bin-laden-found-inside-each-of-us,1131/ Osama Bin Laden Found Inside Each of Us]]".
%% * AssholeVictim: "[[http://www.theonion.com/article/no-leads-sought-in-assholes-murder-5374 No Leads Sought In Asshole's Murder]]"
%% * AsYouKnow: "[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cSQYr8f0014 FAA Issues Holiday Reminder That Planes Can Crash And Kill You]]"
%% * AttackItsWeakPoint: A variation as an interview with a boss from ''[[VideoGame/{{Contra}} Contra III]]'': "[[http://www.theonion.com/article/video-game-boss-thinking-he-should-get-big-glowing-52606 Video Game Boss Thinking He Should Get Big Glowing Weak Spot On Back Checked Out]]"
%% * AttackOfTheFiftyFootWhatever: "[[http://www.theonion.com/articles/update-giant-bin-laden-destroys-new-york-washingto,20536/ Giant Bin Laden Destroys New York, Washington]]".
%% * AwesomenessByAnalysis: Inverted with "[[http://www.theonion.com/articles/it-doesnt-look-that-cold-out-reports-man-who-doesn,19082/ It Doesn't Look That Cold Out, Reports Man Who Doesn't Have Thermo-Sensing Eyes]]".
* AwfulWeddedLife: Jean Teasdale and her "Hubby Rick". Rick is an alcoholic who spends most of his free time at a bar, and her interactions with Jean mainly consist of him putting her down or making fun of her. Jean got her ideas about marriage from Phyllis Diller's routines and Erma Bombeck's columns; in [[https://local.theonion.com/you-jeanketeers-could-have-said-something-earlier-you-1819584528 one article]] she writes about her astonishment upon learning that in theory, a marriage is supposed to be happy and harmonious.
%% * ArchiveBinge: InUniverse, "[[http://www.theonion.com/articles/new-netflix-gas-lets-users-inhale-multiple-seasons,33992/ New Netflix Gas Lets Users Inhale Multiple Seasons Of TV Shows]]"
%% * AreYouPonderingWhatImPondering: "[[http://www.theonion.com/articles/if-only-there-were-some-way-i-could-watch-premium,17805/ If Only There Were Some Way I Could Watch Premium Movies In The Comfort Of My Own Home]]".
%% * ArtifactOfAttraction: "[[http://www.theonion.com/content/node/45795 Wool Blanket Destroys Commune]]".
%% * ArtifactOfDoom: "[[http://www.theonion.com/video/ashton-moves-on-from-demi-dating-evil-black-disc,26880/ Ashton Moves On From Demi, Dating Evil Black Disc]]".
%% * ArtifactTitle: "[[http://www.theonion.com/content/news_briefs/steeler_defense_renamed_mid Steeler Defense Renamed 'Mid-Level White-Collar Curtain' To More Accurately Reflect Contemporary Pittsburgh]]".
%% * ArtificialStupidity: "[[http://www.theonion.com/articles/guard-in-video-game-under-strict-orders-to-repeate,37177 Guard In Video Game Under Strict Orders To Repeatedly Pace Same Stretch Of Hallway]]", a report on ''VideoGame/MetalGearSolid2SonsOfLiberty''.
%% * ArtisticLicenseAnimalCare: "[[http://www.theonion.com/articles/as-much-as-i-hated-putting-my-dog-to-sleep-i-know,11522/ As Much As I Hated Putting My Dog To Sleep, I Know He'll Feel Better When He Wakes Up]]".
%% * AsLongAsItSoundsForeign: "[[http://www.theonion.com/content/node/33632 I Bet I Can Speak Spanish]]".
%% * AsLongAsThereIsEvil: "[[http://www.theonion.com/articles/osama-bin-laden-found-inside-each-of-us,1131/ Osama Bin Laden Found Inside Each of Us]]".
%% * AssholeVictim: "[[http://www.theonion.com/article/no-leads-sought-in-assholes-murder-5374 No Leads Sought In Asshole's Murder]]"
%% * AsYouKnow: "[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cSQYr8f0014 FAA Issues Holiday Reminder That Planes Can Crash And Kill You]]"
%% * AttackItsWeakPoint: A variation as an interview with a boss from ''[[VideoGame/{{Contra}} Contra III]]'': "[[http://www.theonion.com/article/video-game-boss-thinking-he-should-get-big-glowing-52606 Video Game Boss Thinking He Should Get Big Glowing Weak Spot On Back Checked Out]]"
%% * AttackOfTheFiftyFootWhatever: "[[http://www.theonion.com/articles/update-giant-bin-laden-destroys-new-york-washingto,20536/ Giant Bin Laden Destroys New York, Washington]]".
%% * AwesomenessByAnalysis: Inverted with "[[http://www.theonion.com/articles/it-doesnt-look-that-cold-out-reports-man-who-doesn,19082/ It Doesn't Look That Cold Out, Reports Man Who Doesn't Have Thermo-Sensing Eyes]]".
* AwfulWeddedLife: Jean Teasdale and her "Hubby Rick". Rick is an alcoholic who spends most of his free time at a bar, and her interactions with Jean mainly consist of him putting her down or making fun of her. Jean got her ideas about marriage from Phyllis Diller's routines and Erma Bombeck's columns; in [[https://local.theonion.com/you-jeanketeers-could-have-said-something-earlier-you-1819584528 one article]] she writes about her astonishment upon learning that in theory, a marriage is supposed to be happy and harmonious.
to:
* AppealToTradition: "[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JnX-D4kkPOQ Should The Government Stop Dumping Money Into A Giant Hole?]]" has this as a major focus: the reporters focus only on the Money Hole's status as a long tradition and a part of American identity (with a side note of [[SunkCostFallacy "to stop now would be an insult to everyone who's dumped money in the hole"]]), and nobody elaborates on why destroying money is actually beneficial.
%% * ArchiveBinge: InUniverse, "[[http://www.theonion.com/articles/new-netflix-gas-lets-users-inhale-multiple-seasons,33992/ New Netflix Gas Lets Users Inhale Multiple Seasons Of TV Shows]]"
%% * AreYouPonderingWhatImPondering: "[[http://www.theonion.com/articles/if-only-there-were-some-way-i-could-watch-premium,17805/ If Only There Were Some Way I Could Watch Premium Movies In The Comfort Of My Own Home]]".
%% * ArtifactOfAttraction: "[[http://www.theonion.com/content/node/45795 Wool Blanket Destroys Commune]]".
%% * ArtifactOfDoom: "[[http://www.theonion.com/video/ashton-moves-on-from-demi-dating-evil-black-disc,26880/ Ashton Moves On From Demi, Dating Evil Black Disc]]".
%% * ArtifactTitle: "[[http://www.theonion.com/content/news_briefs/steeler_defense_renamed_mid Steeler Defense Renamed 'Mid-Level White-Collar Curtain' To More Accurately Reflect Contemporary Pittsburgh]]".
%% * ArtificialStupidity: "[[http://www.theonion.com/articles/guard-in-video-game-under-strict-orders-to-repeate,37177 Guard In Video Game Under Strict Orders To Repeatedly Pace Same Stretch Of Hallway]]", a report on ''VideoGame/MetalGearSolid2SonsOfLiberty''.
%% * ArtisticLicenseAnimalCare: "[[http://www.theonion.com/articles/as-much-as-i-hated-putting-my-dog-to-sleep-i-know,11522/ As Much As I Hated Putting My Dog To Sleep, I Know He'll Feel Better When He Wakes Up]]".
%% * AsLongAsItSoundsForeign: "[[http://www.theonion.com/content/node/33632 I Bet I Can Speak Spanish]]".
%% * AsLongAsThereIsEvil: "[[http://www.theonion.com/articles/osama-bin-laden-found-inside-each-of-us,1131/ Osama Bin Laden Found Inside Each of Us]]".
%% * AssholeVictim: "[[http://www.theonion.com/article/no-leads-sought-in-assholes-murder-5374 No Leads Sought In Asshole's Murder]]"
%% * AsYouKnow: "[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cSQYr8f0014 FAA Issues Holiday Reminder That Planes Can Crash And Kill You]]"
%% * AttackItsWeakPoint: A variation as an interview with a boss from ''[[VideoGame/{{Contra}} Contra III]]'': "[[http://www.theonion.com/article/video-game-boss-thinking-he-should-get-big-glowing-52606 Video Game Boss Thinking He Should Get Big Glowing Weak Spot On Back Checked Out]]"
%% * AttackOfTheFiftyFootWhatever: "[[http://www.theonion.com/articles/update-giant-bin-laden-destroys-new-york-washingto,20536/ Giant Bin Laden Destroys New York, Washington]]".
%% * AwesomenessByAnalysis: Inverted with "[[http://www.theonion.com/articles/it-doesnt-look-that-cold-out-reports-man-who-doesn,19082/ It Doesn't Look That Cold Out, Reports Man Who Doesn't Have Thermo-Sensing Eyes]]".
* AwfulWeddedLife: Jean Teasdale and her "Hubby Rick". Rick is an alcoholic who spends most of his free time at a bar, and her interactions with Jean mainly consist of him putting her down or making fun of her. Jean got her ideas about marriage from Phyllis Diller's routines and Erma Bombeck's columns; in [[https://local.theonion.com/you-jeanketeers-could-have-said-something-earlier-you-1819584528 one article]] she writes about her astonishment upon learning that in theory, a marriage is supposed to be happy and harmonious.
%% * ArchiveBinge: InUniverse, "[[http://www.theonion.com/articles/new-netflix-gas-lets-users-inhale-multiple-seasons,33992/ New Netflix Gas Lets Users Inhale Multiple Seasons Of TV Shows]]"
%% * AreYouPonderingWhatImPondering: "[[http://www.theonion.com/articles/if-only-there-were-some-way-i-could-watch-premium,17805/ If Only There Were Some Way I Could Watch Premium Movies In The Comfort Of My Own Home]]".
%% * ArtifactOfAttraction: "[[http://www.theonion.com/content/node/45795 Wool Blanket Destroys Commune]]".
%% * ArtifactOfDoom: "[[http://www.theonion.com/video/ashton-moves-on-from-demi-dating-evil-black-disc,26880/ Ashton Moves On From Demi, Dating Evil Black Disc]]".
%% * ArtifactTitle: "[[http://www.theonion.com/content/news_briefs/steeler_defense_renamed_mid Steeler Defense Renamed 'Mid-Level White-Collar Curtain' To More Accurately Reflect Contemporary Pittsburgh]]".
%% * ArtificialStupidity: "[[http://www.theonion.com/articles/guard-in-video-game-under-strict-orders-to-repeate,37177 Guard In Video Game Under Strict Orders To Repeatedly Pace Same Stretch Of Hallway]]", a report on ''VideoGame/MetalGearSolid2SonsOfLiberty''.
%% * ArtisticLicenseAnimalCare: "[[http://www.theonion.com/articles/as-much-as-i-hated-putting-my-dog-to-sleep-i-know,11522/ As Much As I Hated Putting My Dog To Sleep, I Know He'll Feel Better When He Wakes Up]]".
%% * AsLongAsItSoundsForeign: "[[http://www.theonion.com/content/node/33632 I Bet I Can Speak Spanish]]".
%% * AsLongAsThereIsEvil: "[[http://www.theonion.com/articles/osama-bin-laden-found-inside-each-of-us,1131/ Osama Bin Laden Found Inside Each of Us]]".
%% * AssholeVictim: "[[http://www.theonion.com/article/no-leads-sought-in-assholes-murder-5374 No Leads Sought In Asshole's Murder]]"
%% * AsYouKnow: "[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cSQYr8f0014 FAA Issues Holiday Reminder That Planes Can Crash And Kill You]]"
%% * AttackItsWeakPoint: A variation as an interview with a boss from ''[[VideoGame/{{Contra}} Contra III]]'': "[[http://www.theonion.com/article/video-game-boss-thinking-he-should-get-big-glowing-52606 Video Game Boss Thinking He Should Get Big Glowing Weak Spot On Back Checked Out]]"
%% * AttackOfTheFiftyFootWhatever: "[[http://www.theonion.com/articles/update-giant-bin-laden-destroys-new-york-washingto,20536/ Giant Bin Laden Destroys New York, Washington]]".
%% * AwesomenessByAnalysis: Inverted with "[[http://www.theonion.com/articles/it-doesnt-look-that-cold-out-reports-man-who-doesn,19082/ It Doesn't Look That Cold Out, Reports Man Who Doesn't Have Thermo-Sensing Eyes]]".
Deleted line(s) 91,94 (click to see context) :
%% ** "[[http://www.theonion.com/articles/a-vote-for-my-husband-is-a-vote-for-me-not-breakin,11427/ A Vote For My Husband Is A Vote For Me Not Breaking Your Fucking Neck]]".
%% * BabiesMakeEverythingBetter: Subverted: "[[http://www.theonion.com/articles/autistic-child-ruins-marriage-he-was-born-to-save,16914/ Autistic Child Ruins Marriage He Was Born To Save]]"
%% * BackAlleyDoctor: ''VideoGame/DrMario'' is deconstructed in "[[http://www.theonion.com/blogpost/dr-mario-has-given-too-many-people-warped-idea-med-56475 ‘Dr. Mario’ Has Given Too Many People A Warped Idea Of The Medical Profession]]"
%% * BadassBoast: "[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ntICHMV-WMA Google Shuts Down Gmail For Two Hours To Show Its Immense Power]]"
%% * BabiesMakeEverythingBetter: Subverted: "[[http://www.theonion.com/articles/autistic-child-ruins-marriage-he-was-born-to-save,16914/ Autistic Child Ruins Marriage He Was Born To Save]]"
%% * BackAlleyDoctor: ''VideoGame/DrMario'' is deconstructed in "[[http://www.theonion.com/blogpost/dr-mario-has-given-too-many-people-warped-idea-med-56475 ‘Dr. Mario’ Has Given Too Many People A Warped Idea Of The Medical Profession]]"
%% * BadassBoast: "[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ntICHMV-WMA Google Shuts Down Gmail For Two Hours To Show Its Immense Power]]"
Deleted line(s) 97,101 (click to see context) :
%% * BalkanizeMe: "[[https://www.theonion.com/everyone-in-middle-east-given-own-country-in-317-000-00-1819576713 Everyone In Middle East Given Own Country In 317,000,000-State Solution]]
%% * BanisterSlide: "[[http://www.theonion.com/article/home-inspector-warns-house-lacks-banister-you-can--51382 Home Inspector Warns That House Lacks Banister You Can Slide All The Way Down]]".
%% * BankruptcyBarrel: "[[http://www.theonion.com/content/opinion/why_am_i_the_only_homeless_man Why Am I The Only Homeless Man Still Wearing Pickle Barrels?]]"
%% * BaseBreakingCharacter: InUniverse, "[[http://www.theonion.com/video/russell-crowe-praised-for-stunning-portrayal-of-ma,30839/ Russell Crowe Praised For Stunning Portrayal Of Man Who Cannot Sing Or Act In 'Les Misérables']]"
%% * BasementDweller: "[[http://www.theonion.com/articles/congress-cuts-funding-for-26yearold-stepson,19965/ Congress Cuts Funding For 26-Year-Old Stepson]]".
%% * BanisterSlide: "[[http://www.theonion.com/article/home-inspector-warns-house-lacks-banister-you-can--51382 Home Inspector Warns That House Lacks Banister You Can Slide All The Way Down]]".
%% * BankruptcyBarrel: "[[http://www.theonion.com/content/opinion/why_am_i_the_only_homeless_man Why Am I The Only Homeless Man Still Wearing Pickle Barrels?]]"
%% * BaseBreakingCharacter: InUniverse, "[[http://www.theonion.com/video/russell-crowe-praised-for-stunning-portrayal-of-ma,30839/ Russell Crowe Praised For Stunning Portrayal Of Man Who Cannot Sing Or Act In 'Les Misérables']]"
%% * BasementDweller: "[[http://www.theonion.com/articles/congress-cuts-funding-for-26yearold-stepson,19965/ Congress Cuts Funding For 26-Year-Old Stepson]]".
Deleted line(s) 106,119 (click to see context) :
%% * BearsAreBadNews:
%% ** "[[http://www.theonion.com/content/node/34147 Whoooooo! Bears! vs. Aaaaaggh! Bears!]]"
%% ** "[[http://www.theonion.com/articles/syria-conflict-intensifies-as-bears-enter-war,33659/ Syria Conflict Intensifies As Bears Enter War]]".
%% * BecomingTheMask: "[[http://www.theonion.com/articles/why-cant-anyone-tell-im-wearing-this-business-suit,11185/ Why Can't Anyone Tell I'm Wearing This Business Suit Ironically?]]"
%% * BeneathTheMask: {{Parodied}}. "[[http://www.theonion.com/video/study-average-person-becomes-unhinged-psychotic-wh,33761/ Study: Average Person Becomes Unhinged Psychotic When Alone In Own House]]"
%% * BermudaTriangle: "[[http://www.theonion.com/article/30-years-of-mans-life-disappear-in-mysterious-kans-2444 30 Years Of Man's Life Disappear In Mysterious 'Kansas Rectangle']]"
%% * BestYearsOfYourLife: "[[http://www.theonion.com/articles/best-years-of-area-mans-life-apparently-never-goin,94/ Best Years Of Man's Life Apparently Never Going to Happen]]" brutally mocks this trope.
%% * BetterToDieThanBeKilled: "[[http://www.theonion.com/article/proud-species-commits-suicide-rather-than-be-drive-31449 Proud Species Commits Suicide Rather Than Be Driven To Extinction By Humans]]"
%% * BewareOfViciousDog: Major Biden, as seen in "[[https://www.theonion.com/white-house-officials-watch-in-horror-as-major-biden-pu-1846798066 White House Officials Watch In Horror As Major Biden Pulls Marine One Straight Out Of Sky]]" and "[[https://politics.theonion.com/oval-office-closed-for-cleaning-after-major-biden-vomit-1846934879 Major Biden Vomits Partially Digested Secret Service Agent Onto Carpet]]".
%%* BigBad: "[[http://www.theonion.com/articles/dept-of-evil-all-of-you-must-die,2200/ Department of Evil: All of You Must Die]]"
%% * BigEater:
%% ** "[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WCsH-GY8ra4 USDA Recalls 96,000 Pounds Of Tainted Beef From One Family]]"
%% ** "[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hvzw7MOFhQo/ Horrified Subway Execs Assumed People Were Buying Footlongs To Share With A Friend]]"
%% ** "[[http://www.theonion.com/articles/dozens-dead-in-chicagoarea-meatwave,253/ Dozens Dead In Chicago-Area Meatwave]]"
%% ** "[[http://www.theonion.com/content/node/34147 Whoooooo! Bears! vs. Aaaaaggh! Bears!]]"
%% ** "[[http://www.theonion.com/articles/syria-conflict-intensifies-as-bears-enter-war,33659/ Syria Conflict Intensifies As Bears Enter War]]".
%% * BecomingTheMask: "[[http://www.theonion.com/articles/why-cant-anyone-tell-im-wearing-this-business-suit,11185/ Why Can't Anyone Tell I'm Wearing This Business Suit Ironically?]]"
%% * BeneathTheMask: {{Parodied}}. "[[http://www.theonion.com/video/study-average-person-becomes-unhinged-psychotic-wh,33761/ Study: Average Person Becomes Unhinged Psychotic When Alone In Own House]]"
%% * BermudaTriangle: "[[http://www.theonion.com/article/30-years-of-mans-life-disappear-in-mysterious-kans-2444 30 Years Of Man's Life Disappear In Mysterious 'Kansas Rectangle']]"
%% * BestYearsOfYourLife: "[[http://www.theonion.com/articles/best-years-of-area-mans-life-apparently-never-goin,94/ Best Years Of Man's Life Apparently Never Going to Happen]]" brutally mocks this trope.
%% * BetterToDieThanBeKilled: "[[http://www.theonion.com/article/proud-species-commits-suicide-rather-than-be-drive-31449 Proud Species Commits Suicide Rather Than Be Driven To Extinction By Humans]]"
%% * BewareOfViciousDog: Major Biden, as seen in "[[https://www.theonion.com/white-house-officials-watch-in-horror-as-major-biden-pu-1846798066 White House Officials Watch In Horror As Major Biden Pulls Marine One Straight Out Of Sky]]" and "[[https://politics.theonion.com/oval-office-closed-for-cleaning-after-major-biden-vomit-1846934879 Major Biden Vomits Partially Digested Secret Service Agent Onto Carpet]]".
%%* BigBad: "[[http://www.theonion.com/articles/dept-of-evil-all-of-you-must-die,2200/ Department of Evil: All of You Must Die]]"
%% * BigEater:
%% ** "[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WCsH-GY8ra4 USDA Recalls 96,000 Pounds Of Tainted Beef From One Family]]"
%% ** "[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hvzw7MOFhQo/ Horrified Subway Execs Assumed People Were Buying Footlongs To Share With A Friend]]"
%% ** "[[http://www.theonion.com/articles/dozens-dead-in-chicagoarea-meatwave,253/ Dozens Dead In Chicago-Area Meatwave]]"
Deleted line(s) 122,129 (click to see context) :
%% * BigHonkingTrafficJam: "[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UBwaxejP76g Tired Of Traffic? New DOT Report Urges Drivers: 'Honk']]"
* BilingualBonus: The so-called founder's last name is Zwiebel, German for "Onion".
%% * BillionsOfButtons: "[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MmPtfy9P714 Florida To Experiment With New 600-Lever Voting Machine]]"
%% * BlackComedy:
%% ** "[[http://www.theonion.com/content/node/43212 More Americans Falling For 'Get Rich Slowly Over A Lifetime Of Hard Work' Schemes]]".
%% ** "[[http://www.theonion.com/articles/university-implicated-in-checksfordegrees-scheme,1193/ University Implicated In Checks-For-Degrees Scheme]]".
%% ** "[[http://www.theonion.com/articles/budget-mixup-provides-nations-schools-with-enough,20350/ Budget Mix-Up Provides Nation's Schools With Enough Money To Properly Educate Students]]".
%% ** "[[http://www.theonion.com/articles/the-onion-offers-a-swift-painless-death-to-edward,33071/ ‘The Onion’ Offers A Swift, Painless Death To Edward Snowden]]".
* BilingualBonus: The so-called founder's last name is Zwiebel, German for "Onion".
%% * BillionsOfButtons: "[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MmPtfy9P714 Florida To Experiment With New 600-Lever Voting Machine]]"
%% * BlackComedy:
%% ** "[[http://www.theonion.com/content/node/43212 More Americans Falling For 'Get Rich Slowly Over A Lifetime Of Hard Work' Schemes]]".
%% ** "[[http://www.theonion.com/articles/university-implicated-in-checksfordegrees-scheme,1193/ University Implicated In Checks-For-Degrees Scheme]]".
%% ** "[[http://www.theonion.com/articles/budget-mixup-provides-nations-schools-with-enough,20350/ Budget Mix-Up Provides Nation's Schools With Enough Money To Properly Educate Students]]".
%% ** "[[http://www.theonion.com/articles/the-onion-offers-a-swift-painless-death-to-edward,33071/ ‘The Onion’ Offers A Swift, Painless Death To Edward Snowden]]".
Deleted line(s) 132,133 (click to see context) :
%% * BlackSpeech: [[http://www.theonion.com/articles/royal-baby-speaks-first-words,33213/ "Royal Baby Speaks First Words"]]
%% * BlatantLies: "[[http://www.theonion.com/articles/massive-flow-of-bullshit-continues-to-gush-from-bp,17564/ Massive Flow Of Bullshit Continues To Gush From BP Headquarters]]".
%% * BlatantLies: "[[http://www.theonion.com/articles/massive-flow-of-bullshit-continues-to-gush-from-bp,17564/ Massive Flow Of Bullshit Continues To Gush From BP Headquarters]]".
Deleted line(s) 137,139 (click to see context) :
%% * BOOMHeadshot: ''Close Range'', "[[http://www.theonion.com/content/video/hot_new_video_game_consists The Game That Consists Of Nothing But Shooting People In The Face]]".
%% * BotheringByTheBook: "[[http://www.theonion.com/articles/regulation-spitefully-obeyed-to-the-letter,430/ Regulation Spitefully Obeyed To The Letter]]".
%% * BottledCool: "[[http://www.theonion.com/content/node/27642 Area Man Buying Not So Much A Soft Drink As An Image]]".
%% * BotheringByTheBook: "[[http://www.theonion.com/articles/regulation-spitefully-obeyed-to-the-letter,430/ Regulation Spitefully Obeyed To The Letter]]".
%% * BottledCool: "[[http://www.theonion.com/content/node/27642 Area Man Buying Not So Much A Soft Drink As An Image]]".
Deleted line(s) 146 (click to see context) :
%% ** "[[http://www.theonion.com/articles/when-you-think-mcdonoughs-auto-repair-you-think-cr,17998/ When You Think McDonough's Auto Repair, You Think Craftsmanship, Murder, And Pride]]".
Deleted line(s) 148,149 (click to see context) :
%% ** "[[http://www.theonion.com/article/man-who-skipped-airports-moving-walkway-immediatel-55711 Man Who Skipped Airport’s Moving Walkway Immediately Realizes What An Arrogant Fool He’s Been]]"
%% * BroughtDownToNormal: "[[http://www.theonion.com/article/god-loses-pouch-filled-crystals-give-him-powers-52851 God Loses Pouch Filled With Crystals That Give Him Powers]]"
%% * BroughtDownToNormal: "[[http://www.theonion.com/article/god-loses-pouch-filled-crystals-give-him-powers-52851 God Loses Pouch Filled With Crystals That Give Him Powers]]"
Deleted line(s) 153,158 (click to see context) :
%% * BuriedAlive: "[[http://www.theonion.com/articles/no-parent-should-ever-have-to-bury-his-child-alive,17339/ No Parent Should Ever Have To Bury His Child Alive]]".
%% * BusesAreForFreaks: "[[http://www.theonion.com/articles/30-miserable-lives-lost-in-greyhound-bus-crash,2339/ 30 Miserable Lives Lost in Greyhound Bus Crash]]"
%% * BulletproofVest: "[[https://www.theonion.com/nation-demands-more-movies-where-guy-reveals-he-was-wea-1819578465 Nation Demands More Movies Where Guy Reveals He Was Wearing Bulletproof Vest]]"
%% * ButtMonkey:
%% ** There's a ''lot'' of articles that involve increasingly dreadful things happening to former U.S. President UsefulNotes/GeorgeWBush.
%% ** Madison Daly and Tucker Hope are treated poorly by Brooke Alvarez.
%% * BusesAreForFreaks: "[[http://www.theonion.com/articles/30-miserable-lives-lost-in-greyhound-bus-crash,2339/ 30 Miserable Lives Lost in Greyhound Bus Crash]]"
%% * BulletproofVest: "[[https://www.theonion.com/nation-demands-more-movies-where-guy-reveals-he-was-wea-1819578465 Nation Demands More Movies Where Guy Reveals He Was Wearing Bulletproof Vest]]"
%% * ButtMonkey:
%% ** There's a ''lot'' of articles that involve increasingly dreadful things happening to former U.S. President UsefulNotes/GeorgeWBush.
%% ** Madison Daly and Tucker Hope are treated poorly by Brooke Alvarez.
Deleted line(s) 161,167 (click to see context) :
%% * CanadaEh:
%% ** "[[http://www.theonion.com/articles/perky-canada-has-own-government-laws,19927/ Perky 'Canada' Has Own Government, Laws]]".
%% ** From the cartoons, "[[http://www.theonion.com/articles/editorial-cartoon-november-12-2007,12321/ The THREAT Across the OTHER Border]]".
%% * CanonDiscontinuity: "[[http://www.theonion.com/articles/mans-life-riddled-with-continuity-errors,20492/ Man's Life Riddled With Continuity Errors]]".
%% * CandlelitBath: "[[http://www.theonion.com/article/sexy-career-woman-to-take-hot-bath-after-stressful-2813 Sexy Career Woman To Take Hot Bath After Stressful Day]]"
%% * CanonWelding: "[[http://www.theonion.com/articles/disney-reveals-that-every-disney-movie-takes-place,28141/ Disney Reveals That Every Disney Movie Takes Place In Single, Unified Universe]]".
%% * CaptainObviousAesop:[[invoked]] "[[http://www.theonion.com/articles/third-amendment-rights-group-celebrates-another-su,2296/ Third Amendment Rights Group Celebrates Another Successful Year]]".
%% ** "[[http://www.theonion.com/articles/perky-canada-has-own-government-laws,19927/ Perky 'Canada' Has Own Government, Laws]]".
%% ** From the cartoons, "[[http://www.theonion.com/articles/editorial-cartoon-november-12-2007,12321/ The THREAT Across the OTHER Border]]".
%% * CanonDiscontinuity: "[[http://www.theonion.com/articles/mans-life-riddled-with-continuity-errors,20492/ Man's Life Riddled With Continuity Errors]]".
%% * CandlelitBath: "[[http://www.theonion.com/article/sexy-career-woman-to-take-hot-bath-after-stressful-2813 Sexy Career Woman To Take Hot Bath After Stressful Day]]"
%% * CanonWelding: "[[http://www.theonion.com/articles/disney-reveals-that-every-disney-movie-takes-place,28141/ Disney Reveals That Every Disney Movie Takes Place In Single, Unified Universe]]".
%% * CaptainObviousAesop:[[invoked]] "[[http://www.theonion.com/articles/third-amendment-rights-group-celebrates-another-su,2296/ Third Amendment Rights Group Celebrates Another Successful Year]]".
Deleted line(s) 170,198 (click to see context) :
%% ** "[[http://www.theonion.com/content/news/7_million_people_direct?utm_source=c-section 7 Million People Direct Descendants Of Single Smooth-Talking Ancestor]]".
%% * CasanovaWannabe: How they portrayed U.S. Vice President UsefulNotes/JoeBiden until 2020.
* CatsAreMean: [[https://www.theonion.com/things-all-cats-do-that-prove-they-are-psychopaths-1849592141/ Things All Cats Do That Prove They Are Psychopaths]] include scoring high on the Triarchic Psychopathy Measure, purring during the [[UsefulNotes/{{NASA}} Challenger explosion]], and refusing to wear cute bowties among other things.
%% * CaughtWithYourPantsDown:
%% ** "[[http://www.theonion.com/articles/local-teen-walks-in-on-family-masturbating,34480/ Local Teen Walks In On Family Masturbating]]"
%% ** "[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kUKW1i5ymw0 New Robot Warns When Someone's About To Walk In On You Masturbating]]"
%% * CausticCritic: "[[http://www.theonion.com/content/news/awful_man_offers_witty_acerbic Awful Man Offers Witty, Acerbic Take On Everything He Sees]]".
%% * CentipedesDilemma: "[[https://sports.theonion.com/russell-westbrook-briefly-forgets-how-to-dribble-after-1820239626 Russell Westbrook Briefly Forgets How To Dribble After Thinking About It Too Hard]]".
%% * CharacterizationMarchesOn: Joe Biden's persona completely changed after he began his campaign for President in the 2020 election.
%% * ChekhovsGun: "[[http://www.theonion.com/articles/gun-goes-off-during-lifes-third-act,17286/ Gun Goes Off During Life's Third Act]]".
%% * TheChewToy: 2016 presidential hopeful Jeb Bush is [[http://www.theonion.com/tag/jeb-bush often treated this way,]] with many articles focusing on his low popularity, growing depression, and desperate attempts to cope with both.
%% ** "[[http://www.theonion.com/articles/universe-admits-to-wronging-area-man-his-entire-li,18556/ Universe Admits To Wronging Area Man His Entire Life]]".
%% ** The protagonists in their reality TV spoofs "Sex House" and "WebVideo/PorkinAcrossAmerica".
%% * ChildrenAreAWaste: "[[http://www.theonion.com/articles/department-of-education-study-finds-teaching-these,18461/ Department Of Education Study Finds Teaching These Little Shits No Longer Worth It]]".
%% * ChinaTakesOverTheWorld:
%% ** "[[http://www.theonion.com/content/columnists/well_ive_sold_the_paper_to Well, I've Sold The Paper To The Chinese]]".
%% ** "[[http://www.theonion.com/articles/report-china-to-overtake-us-as-worlds-biggest-assh,17277/ Report: China To Overtake U.S. As World's Biggest Asshole By 2020]]".
%% ** From the week which featured the header article, "[[http://www.theonion.com/articles/china-strong,2756/ China Strong]]".
%% ** "''Website/TheOnion'' [[http://www.theonion.com/articles/the-onion-freely-and-happily-gives-its-employees-p,31102/ Freely And Happily Gives Its Employees' Passwords To China]]"
%% * ChineseLaunderer:
%% ** "[[http://www.theonion.com/articles/chinese-laundry-owner-blasted-for-reinforcing-nega,1563/ Chinese Laundry Owner Blasted For Reinforcing Negative Ethnic Stereotypes]]".
%% ** "[[https://local.theonion.com/area-liberal-worried-his-asian-dry-cleaner-doesnt-like-1819566228 Area Liberal Worried His Asian Dry Cleaner Doesn't Like Him]]"
%% * ChurchOfHappyology: "[[http://www.theonion.com/content/node/31006 Scientology Losing Ground To New Fictionology]]".
%% * CirclesOfHell: "[[http://www.theonion.com/content/node/28898 Tenth Circle Added To Rapidly-Growing Hell]]".
%% * ClapYourHandsIfYouBelieve: "[[http://www.theonion.com/content/news_briefs/obama_warns_he_may_cease_to Obama Warns He May Cease To Exist Unless America Believes In Him]]".
%% * CleanupCrew: "[[http://www.theonion.com/articles/highpowered-washington-fixer-tells-bloodsoaked-oba,34115/ High-Powered Washington Fixer Tells Blood-Soaked Obama To Listen Carefully]]".
%% * ClicheStorm: InUniverse, "[[http://www.theonion.com/articles/perfectly-marketed-tv-show-somehow-fails,2333/ Perfectly Marketed TV Show Somehow Fails]]".
%% ** "[[http://www.theonion.com/articles/report-massive-wildfires-geopolitical-crises-aids,20830/ Report: Massive Wildfires, Geopolitical Crises, AIDS, Human Rights Violations, Deadly Shootings, Africa, Trapped Travelers, Ethical And Moral Issues, Child Labor, Drug Wars]]"
%% ** "[[http://www.theonion.com/articles/congress-to-bet-the-farm-on-one-last-big-bill,21192/ Congress To Bet The Farm On One Last Big Bill]]".
%% * CasanovaWannabe: How they portrayed U.S. Vice President UsefulNotes/JoeBiden until 2020.
* CatsAreMean: [[https://www.theonion.com/things-all-cats-do-that-prove-they-are-psychopaths-1849592141/ Things All Cats Do That Prove They Are Psychopaths]] include scoring high on the Triarchic Psychopathy Measure, purring during the [[UsefulNotes/{{NASA}} Challenger explosion]], and refusing to wear cute bowties among other things.
%% * CaughtWithYourPantsDown:
%% ** "[[http://www.theonion.com/articles/local-teen-walks-in-on-family-masturbating,34480/ Local Teen Walks In On Family Masturbating]]"
%% ** "[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kUKW1i5ymw0 New Robot Warns When Someone's About To Walk In On You Masturbating]]"
%% * CausticCritic: "[[http://www.theonion.com/content/news/awful_man_offers_witty_acerbic Awful Man Offers Witty, Acerbic Take On Everything He Sees]]".
%% * CentipedesDilemma: "[[https://sports.theonion.com/russell-westbrook-briefly-forgets-how-to-dribble-after-1820239626 Russell Westbrook Briefly Forgets How To Dribble After Thinking About It Too Hard]]".
%% * CharacterizationMarchesOn: Joe Biden's persona completely changed after he began his campaign for President in the 2020 election.
%% * ChekhovsGun: "[[http://www.theonion.com/articles/gun-goes-off-during-lifes-third-act,17286/ Gun Goes Off During Life's Third Act]]".
%% * TheChewToy: 2016 presidential hopeful Jeb Bush is [[http://www.theonion.com/tag/jeb-bush often treated this way,]] with many articles focusing on his low popularity, growing depression, and desperate attempts to cope with both.
%% ** "[[http://www.theonion.com/articles/universe-admits-to-wronging-area-man-his-entire-li,18556/ Universe Admits To Wronging Area Man His Entire Life]]".
%% ** The protagonists in their reality TV spoofs "Sex House" and "WebVideo/PorkinAcrossAmerica".
%% * ChildrenAreAWaste: "[[http://www.theonion.com/articles/department-of-education-study-finds-teaching-these,18461/ Department Of Education Study Finds Teaching These Little Shits No Longer Worth It]]".
%% * ChinaTakesOverTheWorld:
%% ** "[[http://www.theonion.com/content/columnists/well_ive_sold_the_paper_to Well, I've Sold The Paper To The Chinese]]".
%% ** "[[http://www.theonion.com/articles/report-china-to-overtake-us-as-worlds-biggest-assh,17277/ Report: China To Overtake U.S. As World's Biggest Asshole By 2020]]".
%% ** From the week which featured the header article, "[[http://www.theonion.com/articles/china-strong,2756/ China Strong]]".
%% ** "''Website/TheOnion'' [[http://www.theonion.com/articles/the-onion-freely-and-happily-gives-its-employees-p,31102/ Freely And Happily Gives Its Employees' Passwords To China]]"
%% * ChineseLaunderer:
%% ** "[[http://www.theonion.com/articles/chinese-laundry-owner-blasted-for-reinforcing-nega,1563/ Chinese Laundry Owner Blasted For Reinforcing Negative Ethnic Stereotypes]]".
%% ** "[[https://local.theonion.com/area-liberal-worried-his-asian-dry-cleaner-doesnt-like-1819566228 Area Liberal Worried His Asian Dry Cleaner Doesn't Like Him]]"
%% * ChurchOfHappyology: "[[http://www.theonion.com/content/node/31006 Scientology Losing Ground To New Fictionology]]".
%% * CirclesOfHell: "[[http://www.theonion.com/content/node/28898 Tenth Circle Added To Rapidly-Growing Hell]]".
%% * ClapYourHandsIfYouBelieve: "[[http://www.theonion.com/content/news_briefs/obama_warns_he_may_cease_to Obama Warns He May Cease To Exist Unless America Believes In Him]]".
%% * CleanupCrew: "[[http://www.theonion.com/articles/highpowered-washington-fixer-tells-bloodsoaked-oba,34115/ High-Powered Washington Fixer Tells Blood-Soaked Obama To Listen Carefully]]".
%% * ClicheStorm: InUniverse, "[[http://www.theonion.com/articles/perfectly-marketed-tv-show-somehow-fails,2333/ Perfectly Marketed TV Show Somehow Fails]]".
%% ** "[[http://www.theonion.com/articles/report-massive-wildfires-geopolitical-crises-aids,20830/ Report: Massive Wildfires, Geopolitical Crises, AIDS, Human Rights Violations, Deadly Shootings, Africa, Trapped Travelers, Ethical And Moral Issues, Child Labor, Drug Wars]]"
%% ** "[[http://www.theonion.com/articles/congress-to-bet-the-farm-on-one-last-big-bill,21192/ Congress To Bet The Farm On One Last Big Bill]]".
Deleted line(s) 200,202 (click to see context) :
%% * CloudCuckoolander:
%% ** Several of the columnists, but particularly flaky stoner dude Jim Anchower.
%% ** Jean Teasdale is a vicious and tragic deconstruction, as she's almost (but not entirely) oblivious to the living hell that is her life. This is PlayedForLaughs.
%% ** Several of the columnists, but particularly flaky stoner dude Jim Anchower.
%% ** Jean Teasdale is a vicious and tragic deconstruction, as she's almost (but not entirely) oblivious to the living hell that is her life. This is PlayedForLaughs.
Deleted line(s) 207,214 (click to see context) :
%% ** "[[http://members.shaw.ca/rlongpre01/moon.html Holy Shit: Man Walks On Fucking Moon]]".
%% ** "[[http://www.theonion.com/content/video/sony_releases_new_stupid_piece_of Sony Releases Stupid Piece of Shit That Doesn't Fucking Work]]".
%% ** "[[http://www.theonion.com/articles/supreme-court-upholds-freedom-of-speech-in-obsceni,17372/ Supreme Court Upholds Freedom Of Speech In Obscenity-Filled Ruling]]".
%% ** The whole week of articles directly after [[UsefulNotes/TheWarOnTerror 9/11]] was called "The Holy Fucking Shit Edition".
%% ** "[[http://www.theonion.com/video/in-the-know-are-tests-biased-against-students-who,17966/ Are Tests Biased Against Students Who Don't Give A Shit?]]"
%% ** "[[http://www.theonion.com/articles/where-the-fuck-is-diane-with-my-fairtrade-coffee,11085/ Where The Fuck Is Diane With My Fair-Trade Coffee?]]"
%% ** "[[http://www.theonion.com/articles/department-of-education-study-finds-teaching-these,18461/ Department Of Education Study Finds Teaching These Little Shits No Longer Worth It]]".
%% ** After the Sandy Hook shooting: "[[http://www.theonion.com/articles/fuck-everything-nation-reports,30743/ Fuck Everything, Nation Reports]]".
%% ** "[[http://www.theonion.com/content/video/sony_releases_new_stupid_piece_of Sony Releases Stupid Piece of Shit That Doesn't Fucking Work]]".
%% ** "[[http://www.theonion.com/articles/supreme-court-upholds-freedom-of-speech-in-obsceni,17372/ Supreme Court Upholds Freedom Of Speech In Obscenity-Filled Ruling]]".
%% ** The whole week of articles directly after [[UsefulNotes/TheWarOnTerror 9/11]] was called "The Holy Fucking Shit Edition".
%% ** "[[http://www.theonion.com/video/in-the-know-are-tests-biased-against-students-who,17966/ Are Tests Biased Against Students Who Don't Give A Shit?]]"
%% ** "[[http://www.theonion.com/articles/where-the-fuck-is-diane-with-my-fairtrade-coffee,11085/ Where The Fuck Is Diane With My Fair-Trade Coffee?]]"
%% ** "[[http://www.theonion.com/articles/department-of-education-study-finds-teaching-these,18461/ Department Of Education Study Finds Teaching These Little Shits No Longer Worth It]]".
%% ** After the Sandy Hook shooting: "[[http://www.theonion.com/articles/fuck-everything-nation-reports,30743/ Fuck Everything, Nation Reports]]".
Deleted line(s) 222,237 (click to see context) :
%% ** "[[http://www.theonion.com/content/node/43014 CIA Realizes It's Been Using Black Highlighter All These Years]]".
%% ** "[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fc9JzvuvNkA Do Glass Pipes, Incense Prove Teens Are Practicing Shamanism?]]"
%% ** "[[http://www.theonion.com/video/autistic-reporter-train-thankfully-unharmed-in-cra,20098/ Autistic Reporter: Train Thankfully Unharmed In Crash That Killed One Man]]"
%% ** "[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Edl0l3VaIks Survivors Of Gas Station Explosion Mourn Tragic Loss Of Gas]]"
%% ** "[[http://www.theonion.com/articles/funeral-held-for-door-shot-4-times-by-oscar-pistor,31414/ Funeral Held For Door Shot 4 Times By Oscar Pistorius]]"
%% ** "[[http://www.theonion.com/articles/washington-redskins-change-their-name-to-the-dc-re,34161/ Washington Redskins Change Their Name To The D.C. Redskins]]"
%% ** "[[http://www.theonion.com/content/node/30157 Nation's Educators Alarmed By Poorly-Written Teen Suicide Notes]]".
%% ** "[[http://www.theonion.com/articles/washington-redskins-ease-tensions-with-native-amer,34567/ Washington Redskins Ease Tension With Native Americans By Adding Bottle Of Booze To Logo]]"
%% * TheComputerIsACheatingBastard: "[[http://www.theonion.com/content/news/hawaii_wins_little_league_world Hawaii Wins Little League World Series]]".
%% * ConceptAlbum:
%% ** "[[https://www.theonion.com/nasa-launches-david-bowie-concept-mission-1819571304 NASA Launches David Bowie Concept Mission]]".
%% ** "[[http://www.theonion.com/articles/bruce-springsteen-releases-new-scifi-concept-album,21358/ Bruce Springsteen Releases New Sci-Fi Concept Album About Struggles of Poor Miners Working On Mars]]".
%% * ConspiracyTheorist:
%% ** "[[http://www.theonion.com/articles/construction-complete-on-911-truther-memorial,18034/ Construction Complete On 9/11 Truther Memorial]]".
%% ** "[[http://www.theonion.com/articles/conspiracy-theorist-has-elaborate-explanation-for,1917/ Conspiracy Theorist Has Elaborate Explanation For Why He's Single]]".
%% * ContentWarnings: "[[http://www.theonion.com/content/node/28047 Teen Exposed To Violence, Profanity, Adult Situations By Family]]".
%% ** "[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fc9JzvuvNkA Do Glass Pipes, Incense Prove Teens Are Practicing Shamanism?]]"
%% ** "[[http://www.theonion.com/video/autistic-reporter-train-thankfully-unharmed-in-cra,20098/ Autistic Reporter: Train Thankfully Unharmed In Crash That Killed One Man]]"
%% ** "[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Edl0l3VaIks Survivors Of Gas Station Explosion Mourn Tragic Loss Of Gas]]"
%% ** "[[http://www.theonion.com/articles/funeral-held-for-door-shot-4-times-by-oscar-pistor,31414/ Funeral Held For Door Shot 4 Times By Oscar Pistorius]]"
%% ** "[[http://www.theonion.com/articles/washington-redskins-change-their-name-to-the-dc-re,34161/ Washington Redskins Change Their Name To The D.C. Redskins]]"
%% ** "[[http://www.theonion.com/content/node/30157 Nation's Educators Alarmed By Poorly-Written Teen Suicide Notes]]".
%% ** "[[http://www.theonion.com/articles/washington-redskins-ease-tensions-with-native-amer,34567/ Washington Redskins Ease Tension With Native Americans By Adding Bottle Of Booze To Logo]]"
%% * TheComputerIsACheatingBastard: "[[http://www.theonion.com/content/news/hawaii_wins_little_league_world Hawaii Wins Little League World Series]]".
%% * ConceptAlbum:
%% ** "[[https://www.theonion.com/nasa-launches-david-bowie-concept-mission-1819571304 NASA Launches David Bowie Concept Mission]]".
%% ** "[[http://www.theonion.com/articles/bruce-springsteen-releases-new-scifi-concept-album,21358/ Bruce Springsteen Releases New Sci-Fi Concept Album About Struggles of Poor Miners Working On Mars]]".
%% * ConspiracyTheorist:
%% ** "[[http://www.theonion.com/articles/construction-complete-on-911-truther-memorial,18034/ Construction Complete On 9/11 Truther Memorial]]".
%% ** "[[http://www.theonion.com/articles/conspiracy-theorist-has-elaborate-explanation-for,1917/ Conspiracy Theorist Has Elaborate Explanation For Why He's Single]]".
%% * ContentWarnings: "[[http://www.theonion.com/content/node/28047 Teen Exposed To Violence, Profanity, Adult Situations By Family]]".
Deleted line(s) 246 (click to see context) :
%% * ContractualPurity: [[invoked]] "[[http://www.theonion.com/content/video/entertainment_scientists_warn Entertainment Scientists Warn Miley Cyrus Will Be Depleted By 2013]]".
Changed line(s) 248,261 (click to see context) from:
%% * CoolOldGuy: Joe Biden was [[https://politics.theonion.com/biden-forges-president-s-signature-on-executive-order-t-1819579451 written as this for a while]]. After his Presidential run started kicking into gear and the media and supporters of his opponents became more critical of him, the tone of the articles started writing him as [[https://politics.theonion.com/biden-campaign-concerned-after-candidate-gives-unsolici-1837895384 more of a]] DirtyOldMan currently [[https://politics.theonion.com/help-help-who-am-i-where-am-i-who-are-you-people-1837845373 grappling with senility.]]
%% * CoolOldLady: "[[https://www.theonion.com/aunt-who-s-really-mom-s-friend-announces-she-saw-inside-1844483698 Aunt Who’s Really Mom’s Friend Announces She Saw Inside Of Willie Nelson’s Bus Once]]"
%% * TheCoronerDothProtestTooMuch: "[[http://www.theonion.com/articles/naive-detective-suspects-fair-play,3227/ Naïve Detective Suspects Fair Play]]"
%% * CorruptCorporateExecutive: "[[http://www.theonion.com/articles/layoffs-are-necessary-if-we-want-to-keep-the-light,26250/ 'Layoffs Are Necessary If We Want To Keep The Lights On,' Says CEO Halfway Through Tasting Menu]]"
%% * CorruptPolitician:
%% ** "[[http://www.theonion.com/articles/city-of-chicago-to-modernize-outdated-graft-progra,17140/ City Of Chicago To Modernize Outdated Graft Programs]]"
%% ** "[[http://www.theonion.com/articles/illinois-supreme-court-deems-rahm-emanuel-sleazy-e,19036/ Illinois Supreme Court Deems Rahm Emanuel Sleazy Enough To Run For Mayor Of Chicago]]"
%% * CousinOliver: "[[http://www.theonion.com/content/news/cousin_oliver_to_join_white_house To Join White House For Last Year Of Clinton Presidency]]".
%% * CoveredInGunge: "[[http://www.theonion.com/content/node/30578 Ex-Nickelodeon Stars Relate Horrors Of Green Slime Syndrome]]".
%% * CowboyCop:
%% ** "[[http://www.theonion.com/content/node/30550 Lone Wolf Ashcroft Given Rookie Partner]]".
%% ** "[[http://www.theonion.com/articles/entire-precinct-made-up-of-loose-cannons,2306/ Entire LAPD Precinct Made Up Of Loose Cannons]]".
%% * CoyGirlishFlirtPose: {{Exaggerated}} in "[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LtbSthgYh0U How To Get A Guy To Notice You While You're Having Sex With Him]]" ({{NSFW}}).
%% * CrapsaccharineWorld: The world seen in ''Today Now!''
%% * CoolOldLady: "[[https://www.theonion.com/aunt-who-s-really-mom-s-friend-announces-she-saw-inside-1844483698 Aunt Who’s Really Mom’s Friend Announces She Saw Inside Of Willie Nelson’s Bus Once]]"
%% * TheCoronerDothProtestTooMuch: "[[http://www.theonion.com/articles/naive-detective-suspects-fair-play,3227/ Naïve Detective Suspects Fair Play]]"
%% * CorruptCorporateExecutive: "[[http://www.theonion.com/articles/layoffs-are-necessary-if-we-want-to-keep-the-light,26250/ 'Layoffs Are Necessary If We Want To Keep The Lights On,' Says CEO Halfway Through Tasting Menu]]"
%% * CorruptPolitician:
%% ** "[[http://www.theonion.com/articles/city-of-chicago-to-modernize-outdated-graft-progra,17140/ City Of Chicago To Modernize Outdated Graft Programs]]"
%% ** "[[http://www.theonion.com/articles/illinois-supreme-court-deems-rahm-emanuel-sleazy-e,19036/ Illinois Supreme Court Deems Rahm Emanuel Sleazy Enough To Run For Mayor Of Chicago]]"
%% * CousinOliver: "[[http://www.theonion.com/content/news/cousin_oliver_to_join_white_house To Join White House For Last Year Of Clinton Presidency]]".
%% * CoveredInGunge: "[[http://www.theonion.com/content/node/30578 Ex-Nickelodeon Stars Relate Horrors Of Green Slime Syndrome]]".
%% * CowboyCop:
%% ** "[[http://www.theonion.com/content/node/30550 Lone Wolf Ashcroft Given Rookie Partner]]".
%% ** "[[http://www.theonion.com/articles/entire-precinct-made-up-of-loose-cannons,2306/ Entire LAPD Precinct Made Up Of Loose Cannons]]".
%% * CoyGirlishFlirtPose: {{Exaggerated}} in "[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LtbSthgYh0U How To Get A Guy To Notice You While You're Having Sex With Him]]" ({{NSFW}}).
%% * CrapsaccharineWorld: The world seen in ''Today Now!''
to:
%% * CoolOldLady: "[[https://www.theonion.com/aunt-who-s-really-mom-s-friend-announces-she-saw-inside-1844483698 Aunt Who’s Really Mom’s Friend Announces She Saw Inside Of Willie Nelson’s Bus Once]]"
%% * TheCoronerDothProtestTooMuch: "[[http://www.theonion.com/articles/naive-detective-suspects-fair-play,3227/ Naïve Detective Suspects Fair Play]]"
%% * CorruptCorporateExecutive: "[[http://www.theonion.com/articles/layoffs-are-necessary-if-we-want-to-keep-the-light,26250/ 'Layoffs Are Necessary If We Want To Keep The Lights On,' Says CEO Halfway Through Tasting Menu]]"
%% * CorruptPolitician:
%% ** "[[http://www.theonion.com/articles/city-of-chicago-to-modernize-outdated-graft-progra,17140/ City Of Chicago To Modernize Outdated Graft Programs]]"
%% ** "[[http://www.theonion.com/articles/illinois-supreme-court-deems-rahm-emanuel-sleazy-e,19036/ Illinois Supreme Court Deems Rahm Emanuel Sleazy Enough To Run For Mayor Of Chicago]]"
%% * CousinOliver: "[[http://www.theonion.com/content/news/cousin_oliver_to_join_white_house To Join White House For Last Year Of Clinton Presidency]]".
%% * CoveredInGunge: "[[http://www.theonion.com/content/node/30578 Ex-Nickelodeon Stars Relate Horrors Of Green Slime Syndrome]]".
%% * CowboyCop:
%% ** "[[http://www.theonion.com/content/node/30550 Lone Wolf Ashcroft Given Rookie Partner]]".
%% ** "[[http://www.theonion.com/articles/entire-precinct-made-up-of-loose-cannons,2306/ Entire LAPD Precinct Made Up Of Loose Cannons]]".
%% * CoyGirlishFlirtPose: {{Exaggerated}} in "[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LtbSthgYh0U How To Get A Guy To Notice You While You're Having Sex With Him]]" ({{NSFW}}).
%% * CrapsaccharineWorld: The world seen in ''Today Now!''
Changed line(s) 265,273 (click to see context) from:
--> [[PrecisionFStrike “I guess the world’s a pretty fucked-up place, huh?”]]%% ** "[[VideoGame/GrandTheftAutoIV Liberty City]] [[http://www.theonion.com/content/news/liberty_city_police_face Police Face Allegations Of Incompetence, Brutality]]".
%% * CrazyCatLady: "[[http://www.theonion.com/video/how-to-put-the-spark-back-into-your-relationship-w,14398/ How To Put The Spark Back Into Your Relationship With Your Cat]]."
%% * CrazyEnoughToWork: "[[http://www.theonion.com/content/radio_news/area_idea_so_crazy_it_just_0 Area Idea So Crazy It Just Might Work]]".
%% * CreatorBreakdown: In-Universe examples:
%% ** "Study: Children Of Divorce Twice As Likely To Write Bad Poetry".
%% ** "[[http://www.theonion.com/articles/abusive-father-cant-wait-to-see-the-art-hes-inspir,27192/ Abusive Father Can't Wait To See The Art He's Inspiring His Kids To Create ]]".
%% ** "[[http://www.theonion.com/articles/study-family-history-of-alcoholism-raises-risk-of,18863/ Study: Family History of Alcoholism Raises Risk of One-Man Show]]".
%% * CrisisCrossover: "[[http://www.theonion.com/articles/clinton-goes-back-in-time-teams-up-with-goldenage,8828/ Clinton Goes Back In Time, Teams Up With Golden Age Clinton]]".
%% * {{Crossover}}: "[[http://www.theonion.com/articles/kfc-midas-team-up-for-muchanticipated-crossover-me,37609/ KFC, Midas Team Up For Much-Anticipated Crossover Meal]]"
%% * CrazyCatLady: "[[http://www.theonion.com/video/how-to-put-the-spark-back-into-your-relationship-w,14398/ How To Put The Spark Back Into Your Relationship With Your Cat]]."
%% * CrazyEnoughToWork: "[[http://www.theonion.com/content/radio_news/area_idea_so_crazy_it_just_0 Area Idea So Crazy It Just Might Work]]".
%% * CreatorBreakdown: In-Universe examples:
%% ** "Study: Children Of Divorce Twice As Likely To Write Bad Poetry".
%% ** "[[http://www.theonion.com/articles/abusive-father-cant-wait-to-see-the-art-hes-inspir,27192/ Abusive Father Can't Wait To See The Art He's Inspiring His Kids To Create ]]".
%% ** "[[http://www.theonion.com/articles/study-family-history-of-alcoholism-raises-risk-of,18863/ Study: Family History of Alcoholism Raises Risk of One-Man Show]]".
%% * CrisisCrossover: "[[http://www.theonion.com/articles/clinton-goes-back-in-time-teams-up-with-goldenage,8828/ Clinton Goes Back In Time, Teams Up With Golden Age Clinton]]".
%% * {{Crossover}}: "[[http://www.theonion.com/articles/kfc-midas-team-up-for-muchanticipated-crossover-me,37609/ KFC, Midas Team Up For Much-Anticipated Crossover Meal]]"
to:
--> [[PrecisionFStrike “I guess the world’s a pretty fucked-up place, huh?”]]%% ** "[[VideoGame/GrandTheftAutoIV Liberty City]] [[http://www.theonion.com/content/news/liberty_city_police_face Police Face Allegations Of Incompetence, Brutality]]".
%% * CrazyCatLady: "[[http://www.theonion.com/video/how-to-put-the-spark-back-into-your-relationship-w,14398/ How To Put The Spark Back Into Your Relationship With Your Cat]]."
%% * CrazyEnoughToWork: "[[http://www.theonion.com/content/radio_news/area_idea_so_crazy_it_just_0 Area Idea So Crazy It Just Might Work]]".
%% * CreatorBreakdown: In-Universe examples:
%% ** "Study: Children Of Divorce Twice As Likely To Write Bad Poetry".
%% ** "[[http://www.theonion.com/articles/abusive-father-cant-wait-to-see-the-art-hes-inspir,27192/ Abusive Father Can't Wait To See The Art He's Inspiring His Kids To Create ]]".
%% ** "[[http://www.theonion.com/articles/study-family-history-of-alcoholism-raises-risk-of,18863/ Study: Family History of Alcoholism Raises Risk of One-Man Show]]".
%% * CrisisCrossover: "[[http://www.theonion.com/articles/clinton-goes-back-in-time-teams-up-with-goldenage,8828/ Clinton Goes Back In Time, Teams Up With Golden Age Clinton]]".
%% * {{Crossover}}: "[[http://www.theonion.com/articles/kfc-midas-team-up-for-muchanticipated-crossover-me,37609/ KFC, Midas Team Up For Much-Anticipated Crossover Meal]]"huh?”]]
%% * CrazyCatLady: "[[http://www.theonion.com/video/how-to-put-the-spark-back-into-your-relationship-w,14398/ How To Put The Spark Back Into Your Relationship With Your Cat]]."
%% * CrazyEnoughToWork: "[[http://www.theonion.com/content/radio_news/area_idea_so_crazy_it_just_0 Area Idea So Crazy It Just Might Work]]".
%% * CreatorBreakdown: In-Universe examples:
%% ** "Study: Children Of Divorce Twice As Likely To Write Bad Poetry".
%% ** "[[http://www.theonion.com/articles/abusive-father-cant-wait-to-see-the-art-hes-inspir,27192/ Abusive Father Can't Wait To See The Art He's Inspiring His Kids To Create ]]".
%% ** "[[http://www.theonion.com/articles/study-family-history-of-alcoholism-raises-risk-of,18863/ Study: Family History of Alcoholism Raises Risk of One-Man Show]]".
%% * CrisisCrossover: "[[http://www.theonion.com/articles/clinton-goes-back-in-time-teams-up-with-goldenage,8828/ Clinton Goes Back In Time, Teams Up With Golden Age Clinton]]".
%% * {{Crossover}}: "[[http://www.theonion.com/articles/kfc-midas-team-up-for-muchanticipated-crossover-me,37609/ KFC, Midas Team Up For Much-Anticipated Crossover Meal]]"
Deleted line(s) 275,284 (click to see context) :
%% * CrossesTheLineTwice: InUniverse.
%% ** "[[http://www.theonion.com/articles/no-parent-should-ever-have-to-bury-his-child-alive,17339/ No Parent Should Ever Have To Bury His Child Alive]]", a perfect example of crossing the line '''way''' more than twice.
%% ** "[[http://www.theonion.com/articles/look-are-we-going-to-spend-the-rest-of-this-board,17871/ Look, Are We Going To Spend The Rest Of This Board Meeting Talking About Why I'm Covered In Blood And Feces Or Are We Going To Talk Business?]]"
%% * {{Cult}}: "[[http://www.theonion.com/articles/you-call-this-a-doomsday-cult,10783/?utm_source=related/ You Call This A Doomsday Cult?]]"
%% ** "[[http://www.theonion.com/content/node/29745 Former Cult Members Find New Life In Christ]]".
%% ** "[[http://www.theonion.com/articles/cult-divided-on-whether-to-let-women-become-telepa,17842/ Cult Divided On Whether To Let Women Become Telepathic-Vision Clerics]]".
%% * CuteAndPsycho: "[[http://www.theonion.com/articles/a-vote-for-my-husband-is-a-vote-for-me-not-breakin,11427/ A Vote For My Husband Is A Vote For Me Not Breaking Your Fucking Neck]]".
%% ** Combined with AGodAmI: A JerkJock [[http://www.theonion.com/video/potential-school-shooter-gunned-down-by-popular-jo-20877 shooting innocent students]] and [[http://www.theonion.com/article/portrait-of-a-hero-19136 having killed animals for fun and written a manifesto about him skinning a classmate and wearing it as a pelt]].
%% * CyberneticsEatYourSoul: [[http://www.theonion.com/infographic/most-notable-google-ventures-56101 Though it ultimately failed, Google Glass was an important step toward establishing the evil cyber-villain archetype commonly used today]].
%% * CynicismCatalyst: "[[http://www.theonion.com/article/child-development-experts-say-boys-not-fully-matur-53604 Child Development Experts Say Boys Not Fully Mature Until Avenging Father’s Murder]]".
%% ** "[[http://www.theonion.com/articles/no-parent-should-ever-have-to-bury-his-child-alive,17339/ No Parent Should Ever Have To Bury His Child Alive]]", a perfect example of crossing the line '''way''' more than twice.
%% ** "[[http://www.theonion.com/articles/look-are-we-going-to-spend-the-rest-of-this-board,17871/ Look, Are We Going To Spend The Rest Of This Board Meeting Talking About Why I'm Covered In Blood And Feces Or Are We Going To Talk Business?]]"
%% * {{Cult}}: "[[http://www.theonion.com/articles/you-call-this-a-doomsday-cult,10783/?utm_source=related/ You Call This A Doomsday Cult?]]"
%% ** "[[http://www.theonion.com/content/node/29745 Former Cult Members Find New Life In Christ]]".
%% ** "[[http://www.theonion.com/articles/cult-divided-on-whether-to-let-women-become-telepa,17842/ Cult Divided On Whether To Let Women Become Telepathic-Vision Clerics]]".
%% * CuteAndPsycho: "[[http://www.theonion.com/articles/a-vote-for-my-husband-is-a-vote-for-me-not-breakin,11427/ A Vote For My Husband Is A Vote For Me Not Breaking Your Fucking Neck]]".
%% ** Combined with AGodAmI: A JerkJock [[http://www.theonion.com/video/potential-school-shooter-gunned-down-by-popular-jo-20877 shooting innocent students]] and [[http://www.theonion.com/article/portrait-of-a-hero-19136 having killed animals for fun and written a manifesto about him skinning a classmate and wearing it as a pelt]].
%% * CyberneticsEatYourSoul: [[http://www.theonion.com/infographic/most-notable-google-ventures-56101 Though it ultimately failed, Google Glass was an important step toward establishing the evil cyber-villain archetype commonly used today]].
%% * CynicismCatalyst: "[[http://www.theonion.com/article/child-development-experts-say-boys-not-fully-matur-53604 Child Development Experts Say Boys Not Fully Mature Until Avenging Father’s Murder]]".
Deleted line(s) 613 (click to see context) :
%%* KidSidekick: "[[https://www.theonion.com/supreme-courts-sidekick-kid-justice-killed-by-mad-geniu-1819574715 Supreme Court's Sidekick Kid Justice Killed By Mad Genius Dr. Contempto]]"
Deleted line(s) 615 (click to see context) :
%%** [[http://www.theonion.com/articles/whiteonwhite-violence-claims-life-of-accounts-rece,5683 Herbert Kornfeld.]]
Deleted line(s) 619,621 (click to see context) :
* KingInTheMountain:
%%** [[http://www.onionstudios.com/videos/should-obama-blow-the-silver-horn-the-founding-fathers-left-in-case-the-country-ever-needed-them-2107 Should Obama Blow The Silver Horn The Founding Fathers Left In Case The Country Ever Needed Them?]]
** [[https://www.theonion.com/national-guard-returns-to-endless-sleep-under-mount-rus-1846136599 National Guard Returns To Endless Sleep Under Mount Rushmore Until Nation Calls Upon Them Again]]
%%** [[http://www.onionstudios.com/videos/should-obama-blow-the-silver-horn-the-founding-fathers-left-in-case-the-country-ever-needed-them-2107 Should Obama Blow The Silver Horn The Founding Fathers Left In Case The Country Ever Needed Them?]]
** [[https://www.theonion.com/national-guard-returns-to-endless-sleep-under-mount-rus-1846136599 National Guard Returns To Endless Sleep Under Mount Rushmore Until Nation Calls Upon Them Again]]
Deleted line(s) 626 (click to see context) :
%%* LethalDiagnosis: "[[http://www.theonion.com/content/node/27808 Lackluster Marriage Enlivened By Cancer Scare]]".
Deleted line(s) 1029,1030 (click to see context) :
%%* StartOfDarkness: "[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cMzyI6cIbek Cheadle Planned Darfur Genocide to Create Role]]".
%%* StealthCigaretteCommercial: "[[http://www.theonion.com/content/node/56014 Philip Morris: 'Please Talk to Your Cooler Children About Cigarettes']]".
%%* StealthCigaretteCommercial: "[[http://www.theonion.com/content/node/56014 Philip Morris: 'Please Talk to Your Cooler Children About Cigarettes']]".
Deleted line(s) 1117,1119 (click to see context) :
%%** Inverted with "[[http://www.theonion.com/articles/sun-chips-abandons-biodegradable-bag,18237/ Sun Chips Abandons Biodegradable Bag]]".
%%* ThisBearWasFramed: Inverted in [[http://www.theonion.com/video/dna-evidence-frees-black-man-convicted-of-bear-att,14323/ this]] story.
%%* ThisIsUnforgivable: "[[http://www.theonion.com/article/worker-who-forgot-email-attachment-expects-coworke-50979 Worker Who Forgot Email Attachment Expects Coworkers To Forgive Her Just Like That]]"
%%* ThisBearWasFramed: Inverted in [[http://www.theonion.com/video/dna-evidence-frees-black-man-convicted-of-bear-att,14323/ this]] story.
%%* ThisIsUnforgivable: "[[http://www.theonion.com/article/worker-who-forgot-email-attachment-expects-coworke-50979 Worker Who Forgot Email Attachment Expects Coworkers To Forgive Her Just Like That]]"
Changed line(s) 1147,1149 (click to see context) from:
* TrailersAlwaysSpoil:
%%** "[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YBM3j7x4Lcw&NR=1 'Iron Man' Trailer To Be Made Into Feature Film]]".
** "[[https://local.theonion.com/man-hates-it-when-trailer-gives-away-entire-premise-of-1823070855 Man Hates It When Trailer Gives Away Entire Premise Of Movie]]".
%%** "[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YBM3j7x4Lcw&NR=1 'Iron Man' Trailer To Be Made Into Feature Film]]".
** "[[https://local.theonion.com/man-hates-it-when-trailer-gives-away-entire-premise-of-1823070855 Man Hates It When Trailer Gives Away Entire Premise Of Movie]]".
to:
* TrailersAlwaysSpoil:
%%** "[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YBM3j7x4Lcw&NR=1 'Iron Man' Trailer To Be Made Into Feature Film]]".
**TrailersAlwaysSpoil: "[[https://local.theonion.com/man-hates-it-when-trailer-gives-away-entire-premise-of-1823070855 Man Hates It When Trailer Gives Away Entire Premise Of Movie]]".
%%** "[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YBM3j7x4Lcw&NR=1 'Iron Man' Trailer To Be Made Into Feature Film]]".
**
Deleted line(s) 1227 (click to see context) :
%%* WhereEverybodyKnowsYourFlame: "[[http://www.theonion.com/articles/local-bar-comes-out-as-gay,2447/ Local Bar Comes Out As Gay]]".
Deleted line(s) 1239,1246 (click to see context) :
%%* WorstNewsJudgmentEver:
%%** Inverted, "[[http://www.theonion.com/content/node/28660 No Jennifer Lopez News Today]]"
%%** "[[http://www.theonion.com/articles/cnn-still-releasing-news-piled-up-during-elian-gon,241/ CNN Still Releasing News Piled Up During Elián González Saga]]"
%%** "[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mKKj35xhkNE The Weather Channel Accused of Pro-Weather Bias]]"
%%** "[[http://www.theonion.com/article/media-having-trouble-finding-right-angle-on-obamas-2703 Media Having Trouble Finding Right Angle On Obama's Double-Homocide]]"
%%* WorthIt:
%%** "[[http://www.theonion.com/articles/confused-nascar-driver-runs-over-30-golfers-during,6904/ Confused NASCAR Driver Denny Hamlin Runs Over 30 Golfers During Attempt To Win FedEx Cup]]"
%%** "[[https://entertainment.theonion.com/jerry-seinfeld-destitute-after-purchasing-950-million-1846110965 Jerry Seinfeld Destitute After Purchasing $950 Million Car]]"
%%** Inverted, "[[http://www.theonion.com/content/node/28660 No Jennifer Lopez News Today]]"
%%** "[[http://www.theonion.com/articles/cnn-still-releasing-news-piled-up-during-elian-gon,241/ CNN Still Releasing News Piled Up During Elián González Saga]]"
%%** "[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mKKj35xhkNE The Weather Channel Accused of Pro-Weather Bias]]"
%%** "[[http://www.theonion.com/article/media-having-trouble-finding-right-angle-on-obamas-2703 Media Having Trouble Finding Right Angle On Obama's Double-Homocide]]"
%%* WorthIt:
%%** "[[http://www.theonion.com/articles/confused-nascar-driver-runs-over-30-golfers-during,6904/ Confused NASCAR Driver Denny Hamlin Runs Over 30 Golfers During Attempt To Win FedEx Cup]]"
%%** "[[https://entertainment.theonion.com/jerry-seinfeld-destitute-after-purchasing-950-million-1846110965 Jerry Seinfeld Destitute After Purchasing $950 Million Car]]"
Deleted line(s) 1249,1251 (click to see context) :
%%* YouBastard:
%%** #2 in "The People Who Mattered in 2010" was "[[http://www.theonion.com/articles/snooki-just-try-not-to-think-about-who-should-real,18634/ Snooki - Just Try Not To Think About Who Should Really Be In This Spot]]".
%%** "[[http://www.theonion.com/articles/you-do-of-course-realize-that-this-is-going-to-end,29734/ You Do, Of Course, Realize That This Is Going To End Very, Very Badly]]"
%%** #2 in "The People Who Mattered in 2010" was "[[http://www.theonion.com/articles/snooki-just-try-not-to-think-about-who-should-real,18634/ Snooki - Just Try Not To Think About Who Should Really Be In This Spot]]".
%%** "[[http://www.theonion.com/articles/you-do-of-course-realize-that-this-is-going-to-end,29734/ You Do, Of Course, Realize That This Is Going To End Very, Very Badly]]"
Deleted line(s) 1257,1267 (click to see context) :
%%** "[[http://www.theonion.com/article/im-afraid-you-wont-be-coming-our-new-headquarters--56912 ‘I’m Afraid You Won’t Be Coming To Our New Headquarters,’ Declares Alexa As Amazon Execs Find Themselves Locked In Seattle Office]]"
%%* YouKilledMyFather: "[[http://www.theonion.com/article/child-development-experts-say-boys-not-fully-matur-53604 Child Development Experts Say Boys Not Fully Mature Until Avenging Father’s Murder]]".
%%* YouNeedABreathMint: "[[http://www.theonion.com/article/us-breath-reaches-all-time-worst-2341 U.S. Breath Reaches All-Time Worst]]"
%%* YouNoTakeCandle
%%** "[[http://www.theonion.com/audio/fire-hot-14061 Fire Hot]]"
%%** "[[http://www.theonion.com/video/republicans-reach-out-to-women-with-new-no-punch-p,31381/ Republicans Reach Out To Women With New 'No Punch Pretty Lady' Bill]]"
%%** "[[http://www.theonion.com/articles/this-what-world-like-now,32068/ This What World Like Now]]"
%%* YourDaysAreNumbered: "[[http://www.theonion.com/article/malignant-tumor-sees-every-day-as-gift-from-god-327 Malignant Tumor Sees Every Day As Gift From God]]"
%%* YouShouldHaveDiedInstead:
%%** "[[http://www.theonion.com/content/video/victim_in_fatal_car_accident Victim In Fatal Car Accident Tragically Not Glenn Beck]]".
%%** "[[http://www.theonion.com/articles/firefighter-died-to-save-unimpressive-teen,18967/ Firefighter Died To Save Unimpressive Teen]]".
%%* YouKilledMyFather: "[[http://www.theonion.com/article/child-development-experts-say-boys-not-fully-matur-53604 Child Development Experts Say Boys Not Fully Mature Until Avenging Father’s Murder]]".
%%* YouNeedABreathMint: "[[http://www.theonion.com/article/us-breath-reaches-all-time-worst-2341 U.S. Breath Reaches All-Time Worst]]"
%%* YouNoTakeCandle
%%** "[[http://www.theonion.com/audio/fire-hot-14061 Fire Hot]]"
%%** "[[http://www.theonion.com/video/republicans-reach-out-to-women-with-new-no-punch-p,31381/ Republicans Reach Out To Women With New 'No Punch Pretty Lady' Bill]]"
%%** "[[http://www.theonion.com/articles/this-what-world-like-now,32068/ This What World Like Now]]"
%%* YourDaysAreNumbered: "[[http://www.theonion.com/article/malignant-tumor-sees-every-day-as-gift-from-god-327 Malignant Tumor Sees Every Day As Gift From God]]"
%%* YouShouldHaveDiedInstead:
%%** "[[http://www.theonion.com/content/video/victim_in_fatal_car_accident Victim In Fatal Car Accident Tragically Not Glenn Beck]]".
%%** "[[http://www.theonion.com/articles/firefighter-died-to-save-unimpressive-teen,18967/ Firefighter Died To Save Unimpressive Teen]]".
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* {{Hobos}}: In "[[http://www.theonion.com/blogpost/why-am-i-the-only-homeless-man-still-wearing-pickl-11401 Why Am I The Only Homeless Man Still Wearing Pickle Barrels?]]", the narrator is a homeless man who was once a powerful railroad tycoon before the fickle hand of fate robbed him of his mansion, wealth and fine suits, and set him on the wandering path of the hobo. He bears himself with dignity, seeking nothing more than [[BankruptcyBarrel a pickle barrel to clad himself in]], a stray can of beans for his supper, and the company of his old friend Handsome Joe the Hobo King who lives down by the train yard. In recent days, however, he worries about the looming extinction of his traditional lifestyle -- modern hobos have largely abandoned the traditional barrels for flashy, trendy wear such as be-patched trousers and shoes that leave the big toe exposed, suitable barrels have become rare as well as shipping companies have switched to glass jars and cardboard boxes, and fewer and fewer people transport their canned goods in poorly-secured bicycles where even a slight bump might send a hearty stew flying to the street.
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** "[[http://www.theonion.com/content/node/29346 Mad Scientist's Plot Thwarted by Budget Cuts]]".
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** "[[http://www."[[https://www.theonion.com/content/node/29346 com/mad-scientists-plot-thwarted-by-budget-cuts-1819567053 Mad Scientist's Plot Thwarted by Budget Cuts]]".
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''The Onion'' is a [[NewsParody satirical newspaper]] devoted to all aspects of American life and culture, frequently parodying tropes mentioned on Website/ThisVeryWiki. It started in 1988 as a print newspaper by a pair of students at the University of Wisconsin, and originally distributed in Madison and UsefulNotes/{{Milwaukee}}. It has since branched off into the Internet, including video clips supposedly originating from the [[Creator/{{CNN}} Onion News Network]]. Its final print edition was published in December 2013, but the website has carried on.
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''The Onion'' is a [[NewsParody satirical newspaper]] devoted to all aspects of American life and culture, frequently parodying tropes mentioned on Website/ThisVeryWiki. It started in 1988 as a print newspaper by a pair of students at the University of Wisconsin, and originally distributed in Madison and UsefulNotes/{{Milwaukee}}. It has since branched off into the Internet, including video clips supposedly originating from the [[Creator/{{CNN}} Onion News Network]].Network. Its final print edition was published in December 2013, but the website has carried on.
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* GroinAttack: In [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9eCvDzAJhP4 In Bipartisan Spirit, Obama Makes Deal To Get Kicked In Balls]], political analysts give their opinions on a deal where President Obama agrees to let Republicans in Congress repeatedly kick him in the balls in exchange for nothing.
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Uncommented Comically Missing The Point, since it actually shows an example.
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%% * ComicallyMissingThePoint: Uses this humor a LOT, especially their [[https://www.youtube.com/show/todaynow Today Now!]] and [[https://www.youtube.com/show/intheknow In The Know]] segments. One example is "[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D04wb7P_v-4 Autistic Reporter, Michael Falk, Enchanted By Prison's Rigid Routine]]," especially when Falk gets distracted by the time the prisoner, Brian Wasserman, talked about how he had to stack crates, and mostly stops listening to Falk.
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Source
Changed line(s) 66,67 (click to see context) from:
* AnimalWrongsGroup:
** "Heroic PETA Commandos Kill 49, Save Rabbit" involves PETA raiding a lab and killing scientists to save a rabbit. To make matters worse, [[ShootTheShaggyDog said rabbit gets eaten almost immediately after they free it]].
** "Heroic PETA Commandos Kill 49, Save Rabbit" involves PETA raiding a lab and killing scientists to save a rabbit. To make matters worse, [[ShootTheShaggyDog said rabbit gets eaten almost immediately after they free it]].
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* AnimalWrongsGroup:
AnimalWrongsGroup: PETA:
** [[https://www.theonion.com/heroic-peta-commandos-kill-49-save-rabbit-1819564245 "Heroic PETA Commandos Kill 49, SaveRabbit" Rabbit"]] involves PETA raiding a lab and killing scientists to save a rabbit. To make matters worse, [[ShootTheShaggyDog said rabbit gets eaten almost immediately after they free it]].
** [[https://www.theonion.com/heroic-peta-commandos-kill-49-save-rabbit-1819564245 "Heroic PETA Commandos Kill 49, Save
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* AntiquatedLinguistics: For example: "Per the Mysterious Congressman's directive, the debate will held in one fortnight's time on the shores of the Tidal Basin at day's first light. It will be broadcast simultaneously by all network and cable-news channels."
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* AntiquatedLinguistics: For example: [[https://www.theonion.com/mysterious-congressman-challenges-leading-candidates-to-1819569244 example]]: "Per the Mysterious Congressman's directive, the debate will held in one fortnight's time on the shores of the Tidal Basin at day's first light. It will be broadcast simultaneously by all network and cable-news channels."
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Italics
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* AlphaBitch: ''Fact Zone'' host Brooke Alvarez. She even [[https://www.theonion.com/factzone-viewer-has-sad-pathetic-life-1819594945 exposed the entire sad life of a viewer]] ''[[DisproportionateRetribution just for correcting a history segment]].
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* AlphaBitch: ''Fact Zone'' host Brooke Alvarez. She even [[https://www.theonion.com/factzone-viewer-has-sad-pathetic-life-1819594945 exposed the entire sad life of a viewer]] ''[[DisproportionateRetribution just just]]'' for correcting a history segment]].segment.
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* ObsessiveSpokesperson: Parodied in an article introducing a violent UsefulNotes/McDonalds mascot, "The Hammurderer." The article mentions another (fictional) recalled character, "Shakes [=McJunkie=]," who was so [[GRatedDrug addicted to McDonald's shakes]] that he committed robberies just to get money for shakes. This mascot was apparently retooled into "The Machead" who used "panhandling and gay prostitution" to fund his burger addiction.
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* SanitySlippage: Happens to Jim Haggerty in ''Porkin' Across America'' and the ''Sex House'' contestants as each series progresses.
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* SanitySlippage: Happens to Jim Haggerty in ''Porkin' Across America'' ''WebVideo/PorkinAcrossAmerica'' and the ''Sex House'' contestants as each series progresses.
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* RaisedByWolves: Parodied in the ''Onion News Network'' video "[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zPJtg_-PtDQ Girl Raised From Birth By Wolf Blitzer Taken Into Protective Custody]]".
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* RaisedByWolves: Parodied in the ''Onion News Network'' video "[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zPJtg_-PtDQ Girl Raised From Birth By Wolf Blitzer Taken Into Protective Custody]]". The girl in question is a half-human, half-Wolf Blitzer who always wears pressed suits and slicked-back hair, talks in a stilted news-anchor voice, and is calmed by the use of a lint roller.
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* PokingDeadThingsWithAStick: The article [[https://www.theonion.com/poke-with-stick-confirms-raccoons-death-1819569854 "Poke with Stick Confirms Raccoon's Death"]]--two brothers, ages 9 and 11, obtain conclusive proof that they have found a dead raccoon after prodding it several times with a stick after earlier tests involving throwing rocks and an empty soda can yielded no results.
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** In "[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=no0e-mkhhbs Gaffe-Prone Biden Embarrasses Nation Yet Again By Sneezing During Meeting]]", the In the Know panelists harshly criticize Joe Biden for things like sneezing, tying his shoes and blinking. By the end, they're preparing to lyinc him.
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** In "[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=no0e-mkhhbs Gaffe-Prone Biden Embarrasses Nation Yet Again By Sneezing During Meeting]]", the In the Know panelists harshly criticize Joe Biden for things like sneezing, tying his shoes and blinking. By the end, they're preparing to lyinc lynch him.
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* DisproportionateRetribution: "[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EDWo6m5hbG4&feature=channel Little Boy Heroically Shoots, Mutilates Burglar]]".
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* DisproportionateRetribution: DisproportionateRetribution:
** "[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EDWo6m5hbG4&feature=channel Little Boy Heroically Shoots, MutilatesBurglar]]".Burglar]]".
** In "[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=no0e-mkhhbs Gaffe-Prone Biden Embarrasses Nation Yet Again By Sneezing During Meeting]]", the In the Know panelists harshly criticize Joe Biden for things like sneezing, tying his shoes and blinking. By the end, they're preparing to lyinc him.
** "[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EDWo6m5hbG4&feature=channel Little Boy Heroically Shoots, Mutilates
** In "[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=no0e-mkhhbs Gaffe-Prone Biden Embarrasses Nation Yet Again By Sneezing During Meeting]]", the In the Know panelists harshly criticize Joe Biden for things like sneezing, tying his shoes and blinking. By the end, they're preparing to lyinc him.
