History Quotes / WantsAPrizeForBasicDecency

->''"Behold the impudence of the man: I believe he would have us commend him for not killing Ludwig, too, who
was waiting at court for his brother, and for not slaying Agapetus Rutten with him. He says he didn't murder all our kinfolk there as he could have and will boast that by his generosity they're still alive."''

->(''pause'')

->''"They, "society," hate you because they don't want your help. You remind them of how weak-willed and sheep-like and unspecial they are. How gleeful they are, deep down, to be ordinary. They don't want heroes. They don't want special people around them. Because if there are special people and they aren't one of them — well, who wants that? Who wants a constant reminder that they aren't even trying to be special? See, the difference between you and I is that you really are just a child. You benefit from the wide-eyed optimism of youth. I do envy that, somewhat. But... like many of your decisions in life... it's just naive. And I don't envy that harsh cold slap of reality that will come your way soon enough. But I guess it's inevitable. People don't want to be special. I do think that. It is my philosophy. They — people want to be told what to do and how to live and they want men like me to tell them. They want to go to work and do as little as they can possibly get away with, and they want a big cookie at the end of the day for doing it. And they want men like me to give it to them."''

'''Dee:''' You don't get praise for telling people you're not racist!\\

->''"You know the worst thing about niggas? Niggas always want credit for some shit they '''supposed''' to do. A nigga will brag about some shit a normal man just '''does'''. A nigga will say some shit like, 'I take care of my kids.' You're '''supposed''' to, you dumb motherfucker! What kind of ignorant shit is that? 'I ain't never been to jail!' Whatchu want, a cookie?! You're not supposed to go to jail, you [[BuffySpeak low-expectations-having]] motherfucker!"''
-->-- '''Creator/ChrisRock''', ''Bigger and Blacker''

-->--'''Eric Nelson''', "[[https://www.theonion.com/chauvin-defense-team-praises-officer-s-restraint-in-not-1846599521 Chauvin Defense Team Praises Officer’s Restraint In Not Killing Bystanders]]"

->''One of the consequences of such notions as "entitlements" is that people who have contributed nothing to society feel that society owes them something, apparently just for being nice enough to grace us with their presence.''
-->--'''Thomas Sowell'''
[[/folder]]

->'''Calvin:''' What's Santa's definition? How good do you have to be to qualify as good?\\
'''Calvin:''' I haven't KILLED anybody. See, that's good, right? I haven't committed any felonies. I didn't start any wars. I don't practice cannibalism. Wouldn't you say that's pretty good? Wouldn't you say I should get lots of presents?\\

->''"No. You're right. I'm being unfair. I should be ''thanking you'' for ''not'' throwing up. Well done. You're a star. And you didn't wet yourself, did you? You're in the right city. You didn't say anything overtly racist. You didn't pull your dick out and start plucking it shouting "Willy Banjo!" No, I'm being really unfair! You got so much right... without actually'' being there ''for the beginning of one of the most important moments of my career.'' Thanks. ''You're a'' legend."
-->--'''Simon Foster''' (to Toby Wright), ''Film/InTheLoop''

->''"No. You're right. I'm being unfair. I should be thanking you for not throwing up. Well done. You're a star. And you didn't wet yourself, did you? You're in the right city. You didn't say anything overtly racist. You didn't pull your dick out and start plucking it shouting "Willy Banjo!" No, I'm being really unfair! You got so much right... without actually'' being there ''for the beginning of one of the most important moments of my career.'' Thanks. ''You're a'' legend."

->'''Black Mage:''' I can't believe the nerve of that anchor guy.\\
'''Red Mage:''' Still, you didn't have to kill him. \\
'''Black Mage:''' Hey, I waited until the cameras were turned off. You ask me, that's a ''crap load'' of control there.\\
'''Thief:''' Not immediately indulging in murder isn't a sign of self-control. It's a sign of, what is it, ''sanity''.
-->-- ''Webcomic/EightBitTheater''

->''"No. You're right. I'm being unfair. I should be thanking you for not throwing up. Well done. You're a star. And you didn't wet yourself, did you? You're in the right city. You didn't say anything overtly racist. You didn't pull your dick out and start plucking it shouting "Willy Banjo!" No, I'm being really unfair! You got so much right... without actually'' being there ''for the beginning of one of the most important moments of my career.'' Thanks. ''You're a'' legend.

[[folder:Live Action TV]]

'''Doctor:''' You let one of them go, but that's nothing new. Every now and then, a little victim's spared... because she smiled, cos he's got freckles, cos they begged. And that's how you live with yourself, that's how you slaughter millions, because once in a while, on a whim, if the wind's in the right direction, you happen to be kind.
-->-- ''Series/DoctorWho''

->'''Agatha:''' ...[[InvertedTrope and here I was worried that I wouldn't be any good at this]].\\
'''Vanamonde:''' Heh. You have fifty generations of lowered expectations working for you.\\
'''Councilor 3:''' Two minutes, and she hasn't killed ''anyone!''\\
'''Councilor 1:''' A new ''record!''
-->-- ''Webcomic/GirlGenius'' ([[http://www.girlgeniusonline.com/comic.php?date=20111130 November 30th, 2011]])

-->''"Our vast great country has been turned into a beggar, while small islands the world over have become rich. Why is it this way? You think bribery doesn’t exist there? No! Bribery exists there too. But over there, bribes are accepted for being derelict in your duty! Over here, bribes are demanded for performing your duty.”''
-->-- '''Senapathy''', ''Film/{{Indian}}

->''"You're supposed to do good things because you're good! Not because you're seeking moral dessert."''

->'''Black Mage:''' I can't believe the nerve of that anchor guy.\\
'''Red Mage:''' Still, you didn't have to kill him. \\
'''Black Mage:''' Hey, I waited until the cameras were turned off. You ask me, that's a ''crap load'' of control there.\\
'''Thief:''' Not immediately indulging in murder isn't a sign of self-control. It's a sign of, what is it, ''sanity''.
-->-- ''Webcomic/EightBitTheater''

->'''Sokka:''' ''[sarcastically]'' Oh, hurray! After a lifetime of evil, at least [Zuko] didn't add animal cruelty to the list!\\
'''Toph:''' I'm just saying that considering his messed-up family and how he was raised, he could have turned out a lot worse.\\
'''Katara:''' You're right, Toph. Let's go find him and give him a medal. The "Not-As-Much-of-a-Jerk-As-You-Could-Have-Been Award"!
-->-- ''WesternAnimation/AvatarTheLastAirbender''

->''"If you resolve to stop being an asshole, then give up because nobody gave you a cookie, you never really stopped being an asshole. Expecting to get a cookie for refraining from treating others poorly is how an asshole thinks."''
-->-- '''David J. Prokopetz''', RPG.Net

->''"You know the worst thing about niggas? Niggas always want credit for some shit they '''supposed''' to do. A nigga will brag about some shit a normal man just '''does'''. A nigga will say some shit like, 'I take care of my kids.' You're '''supposed''' to, you dumb motherfucker! What kind of ignorant shit is that? 'I ain't never been to jail!' Whatchu want, a cookie?! You're not supposed to go to jail, you [[BuffySpeak low-expectations-having]] motherfucker!"''
-->-- '''Creator/ChrisRock''', ''Bigger and Blacker''

->'''Belkar:''' If you don't want me to murder people, you should put up a sign saying "Thank you for not killing more than five of us".\\
'''Prison Guard''': We don't want you to kill ANY of us!\\
'''Belkar''': Now you're just being unreasonable!
-->-- ''Webcomic/TheOrderOfTheStick'' "On the Origins of [=PCs=]"

->''"As my mom has said to me more than once, if you want applause for doing your job, learn to f*ing juggle."''
-->-- [[http://www.doctornerdlove.com/2012/12/problem-nice-guys/ Dr. Nerdlove]]

->''"Oh, so you never [[AbusiveParents smacked me and Sokka about]], you listened to me sometimes, and you gave me an even break – That is how it should be dad!"''
-->-- '''[[Franchise/AvatarTheLastAirbender Katara]]''' on why Hakoda thinks he's [[GoodParents a good parent]], [[https://www.fanfiction.net/s/8121138/2/Not-Stalking-Firelord-Zuko Not Stalking Firelord Zuko]].

->'''Agatha:''' ...[[InvertedTrope and here I was worried that I wouldn't be any good at this]].\\
'''Vanamonde:''' Heh. You have fifty generations of lowered expectations working for you.\\
'''Councilor 3:''' Two minutes, and she hasn't killed ''anyone!''\\
'''Councilor 1:''' A new ''record!''
-->-- ''Webcomic/GirlGenius'' ([[http://www.girlgeniusonline.com/comic.php?date=20111130 November 30th, 2011]])

-> Saying that you're a nice guy is like a restaurant whose only selling point is that the food doesn't make you sick. You're like a new movie whose title is ''This Movie Is in English'', and its tagline is "The actors are clearly visible."
-->-- '''Website/{{Cracked}}''', [[http://www.cracked.com/blog/6-harsh-truths-that-will-make-you-better-person/ 6 Harsh Truths That Will Make You A Better Person]]

-> ''"Of Course. I forgot for a second that you're incapable doing something nice without expecting something nicer in return."''
-->-- '''Joan Harris''' (née '''Holloway'''), ''Series/MadMen''

-> Good men and bad men alike are all capable of weakness. The difference is simply that a bad man will be proud all his life of one good deed-while an honest man is hardly aware of his good acts, but remembers a single sin for years on end.
-->-- '''Vasily Grossman'''