History Main / WhyDontYouMarryIt

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->''[[AC: Maybe you should marry that thing since you love it so much. Do you want to marry it? WELL, I WON'T LET YOU! How does that feel?]]''

[[folder:Advertisements]]

* An advertisement for Payless - a woman says that she likes [=BOGO=] ("buy one, get one") and the woman with her asks "Well, why don't you marry it?" The woman considers this, that she could be [[MrsHypothetical "Mrs. Payless [=BOGO=]."]]

[[folder:Anime and Manga]]

* From ''Manga/SoulEater'', when [[{{Cloudcuckoolander}} Marie Mjolnir]] complains to her straight-laced friend and fellow Death Scythe Yumi Azusa about having terrible luck with men in the ladies room, Yumi jokes that she should marry the toilet. Marie promptly commits and fantasizes about the wedding. Yumi however points out that toilets aren't exactly faithful, whereupon Marie smashes the toilet in one blow.
** In the manga, marrying the toilet is her idea. She doesn't want to be any more of a ChristmasCake, so she decides to marry the toilet because it will accept anything given to it without question.

[[folder:Fanfiction]]

'''Meyrin:''' ''(Over communications channel)'' If you love the Sword Silhouette so much, why don't you marry it?\\
'''Shinn:''' Just do it, Luna’s sister!

[[folder:Films -- Animated]]

[[folder:Stand-Up Comedy]]
* Comedian Mike Birbiglia plays with this in one joke: "I love pizza so much that I would marry it, but it would really just be an elaborate plot to ''eat her whole family'' at the reception."

[[folder:Theatre]]
* OlderThanSteam: In Shakespeare's ''Theatre/AMidsummerNightsDream'', Hermia's father Egeus is trying to force her to marry Demetrius. Her lover Lysander tells Demetrius that if Egeus thinks he's so great, "Do you marry him!"
* In ''Theatre/WestSideStory'', Baby John, commenting on a comic book he's reading, says that he loves Franchise/{{Superman}}. "So marry him," Snowboy snaps back.
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[[folder:Webcomics]]

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[[caption-width-right:350:Art by [[https://twitter.com/nthonyholden/status/905826604433121280 Anthony Holden]]]].

* In ''Pax'', a pre-teen - young adult novel about [[ABoyAndHisX a boy and his fox]], the boy Peter meets a woman, Vola, who keeps using the word "''dyableman''." (It's a Haitian-Creole word that means "damned.") He tells her that he if he were in second grade, he'd tell her that she loves the word so much, she should marry it.

* In an episode of ''Series/ArrestedDevelopment'', George Sr. enjoys an ice cream sandwich whilst in prision. Later in the episode, Michael walks in on Lucille screaming into the phone: "Well, why don't you ''marry'' an ice cream sandwich?" As it turns out, [[BlatantLies she was talking to Gob.]]

* Comedian Mike Birbiglia plays with this in one joke; "I love pizza so much that I would marry it, but it would really just be an elaborate plot to ''eat her whole family'' at the reception."

* In ''Film/WestSideStory'', Baby John comments on Captain Marvel, a comic book he is reading. He says, "Gee, I love him." To which Action impatiently snaps "So marry him!"

* In ''WesternAnimation/BigHeroSixTheSeries'', the Noodle Burger jingle, which Noodle Burger Boy insists on singing at regular intervals even after he's turned evil, declares "If I could, I'd marry Noodle Burger/'Cause Noodle Burger rings my bell!"

* ''Film/HaroldAndKumarGoToWhitecastle'': When Harold and Kumar are arrested and put into jail by racist, hick cops, Kumar spots a confiscated bag of weed and fantasizes going on a date with a [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D_ZlnWQbCeE giant anthropomorthized bag of weed]]. Then taking it on a date, having sex with it, marrying it, and ending up in an abusive domestic argument with it.

** In "[[Recap/TheSimponsS7E5LisaTheVegetarian Lisa the Vegetarian]]", Lisa encounters Janey, Ralph, and annoying twins Sherri and Terri, who taunt her for becoming a vegetarian. Janey asks her if she's going to marry a carrot. She sarcastically replies "Yes, I'm going to marry a carrot". The other kids (whether intentionally or not) miss her sarcasm and giggle madly that she admitted it.
** In "[[Recap/TheSimponsS16E10TheresSomethingAboutMarrying There's Something About Marrying]]", Homer becomes a minister and starts officiating gay marriages. When Lovejoy complains and cites the Bible during a talk show appearance, Homer taunts him with the question and then pronounces them man and wife - with Lovejoy as the wife.
** In "[[Recap/TheSimponsS11E15MissionaryImpossible Missionary: Impossible]]", Homer goes to Micronesia to become a missionary (and evade collectors). Two natives, Qtoktok and Ak, told him what Craig and Amy (Homer's predecessors) were doing before leaving and Homer was so upset from hearing about them he asked the two natives why they didn't marry Craig and Amy. Qtoktok, showing that he DoesNotUnderstandSarcasm, told Ak he knew they should have asked.

-->'''Shinn''': Minerva! Send me a new chest flyer and the Sword Silhouette!
-->'''Meyrin''': (Over communications channel) If you love the Sword Silhouette so much, why don’t you marry it?
-->'''Shinn''': Just do it, Luna’s sister!

-->'''Roderick:''' I am king. If it pleases me, you shall marry Griswold.
-->'''Gwendolyn:''' If it pleases you so much, ''you'' marry Griswold.

-->'''Quinn:''' Do you like ice cream?
-->'''Greg:''' ''Yeah!''
-->'''Quinn:''' Then why don't you ''MARRY'' it?

--> I love this moment so much I want to have sex with it.
--> This moment is so great, I'd cheat on that other moment from before, marry this one, and raise a family of tiny little moments.

-->'''House''': Now let go of my cane before I make it your new boyfriend.
-->'''Kalvin''': Honey, I will marry it if you take my case.
-->'''House''': Congress says you can't, so...

-->'''Anya''': You know, if you love Riley Finn so much maybe you should just marry him.
-->'''Xander''': He's taken. ({{Beat}}) And that's not the point.

-->'''Pete/R2-D2''': We're about to recover my [[CoolStarship dreadnought]]. My beautiful, precious dreadnought.
-->'''Sally/C-3P0''': If you love it so much, why don't you marry it?
-->'''Pete/R2-D2''': Hey, I'm a droid. [[RoboShip I've thought about it]].
-->(BeatPanel)
-->'''Sally/C-3P0''': [[{{Squick}} Ewwww]].

** When Lisa becomes a vegetarian, annoying twins Sherri and Terri ask her if she's going to marry a carrot. She sarcastically replies "Yes, I'm going to marry a carrot". The twins (whether intentionally or not) miss her sarcasm and giggle madly that she admitted it.
** In another episode, Homer becomes a minister and starts officiating gay marriages. When Lovejoy complains and cites the Bible, Homer says "WhyDontYouMarryIt" and then pronounces them man and wife - with Lovejoy as the wife.
** In another episode, Homer goes to Micronesia to become a missionary (and evade collectors). Two natives told him what Craig and Amy (Homer's predecessors) were doing before leaving and Homer was so upset from hearing about them he asked the two natives why they didn't marry Craig and Amy. One native, showing that he DoesNotUnderstandSarcasm, told the other he knew they should have asked.

-->'''G-Man #1''': If that gun were a woman I'd marry it!"
-->'''G-Man #2''': If that gun were a woman I'd jeapordise our friendship by sleeping with your hot wife!

-->'''Little Boy''': There's nothing better to do after school, than stay at school and play!
-->'''Little Girl''': I love school so much, I wish I could marry it!
-->*Little Boy eyes Little Girl with confusion*

-->'''Chowder:''' You can marry a kitchen!? One day. ''(makes out with a table)''
-->'''Mung:''' Chowder, stop kissing my kitchen!

-->'''Jon Stewart''': I do love America!
-->'''Stephen Colbert''': Then why don't you marry it?
-->'''Jon Stewart''': Stephen, that's what a fourth grader would say.
-->'''Stephen Colbert''': A fourth grader who LOVES AMERICA!

A SiterTrope to GetARoom.

Compare MarriedToTheJob, YouNeedToGetLaid. May lead to CargoShip.

* ''WesternAnimation/SpongebobSquarepants episode "Married to Money" After one of Plankton's failed attempts to get the Krabby Patty secret formula, he mocks Mr. Krabs' love for money and asks why doesn't he marry it. To which Mr. Krabs replies sadly that he would if he could.

Again, if it actually is a {{Fetish}} or AuthorAppeal, that would go in those tropes. And for the complete package, check out TropersDoItWithoutNotability.

* ''Series/PeeWeesPlayhouse'' used the phrase occasionally, and finally Pee-Wee said, "Perhaps I will!"... about a bowl of fruit. [[https://youtu.be/6B6bXWuKWW0 The ceremony was lovely.]]

** In another episode, Homer becomes a minister and starts officiating gay marriages. When Lovejoy complains and cites the Bible, Homer says "WhyDontYouMarryIt" and then pronounces them man and wife- with Lovejoy as the wife.

* In the 'WesternAnimation/AmericanDad'' episode "American Dream Factory", a prospective employee keeps bring up the perks at BestBuy, to the point where Stan yells out "WHY DON'T YOU JUST MARRY BEST BUY?!"

* There are some legends about female saints, who, confronted with the problem of being wooed by clingy suitors who wouldn't leave them alone, sent them their breasts, eyes, or whatever the male had complimented most, in a box, as if to imply: "If you like my eyes so much, why don't you marry ''them''?" This was ... mostly effective, although probably more because of NightmareFuel than anything else. (It should be noted that the Bible says to chop off whatever body part makes ''you'' do evil, it doesn't mention chopping off body parts that cause ''other people'' to act in an immoral way.)

** Our chief DeadpanSnarker, [=GLaDOS=], even stoops to this when the player is holding on of her fallen personality cores, as quoted above.

--->"[[ForScience Science isn't about why, it's about why not]]! Why is [[ScienceIsBad so much of our science dangerous]]? Why not marry safe science if you love it so much? [[{{Cloudcuckoolander}} In fact, why not invent a special safety door that won't hit you in the butt on the way out]], [[BadBoss because you are fired]]!

* ''Series/PeeWeesPlayhouse'' used the phrase occasionally, and finally Pee-Wee said, "Perhaps I will!"... about a bowl of fruit. [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bs81piYG2G8 The ceremony was lovely.]]

* An advertisement for Payless - a woman says that she likes [=BOGO=] ("buy one, get one") and the woman with her asks "Well, why don't you marry it?" The woman considers this, that she could be "Mrs. Payless [=BOGO=]."

* In ''Theatre/WestSideStory'', Baby John says that he loves Franchise/{{Superman}}. "So marry him," Snowboy snaps back.

->''"Maybe you should marry that thing since you love it so much. Do you want to marry it? WELL, I WON'T LET YOU! How does that feel?"''

* In a ''Webcomic/{{Shortpacked}}!'' guest strip by [[SomethingPositive Randy Milholland]], when Ethan defends the Nightrunner character from then-recent ''Franchise/{{Batman}}'' comics, a customer replies "Jesus! If you love him so much, go fag-marry French Batman." Ethan calmly replies "He's fictional, sir, and gay marriage isn't legal yet. But I've got something just as wonderful." Cut to Ethan's boyfriend, in costume, declaring "Je suis ... ''Batman''!"

* In a ''Webcomic/{{Shortpacked}}!'' guest strip by [[SomethingPositive Randy Milholland]], when Ethan defends the Nightrunner character from ''Comicbook/BatmanIncorporated'', a customer replies "Jesus! If you love him so much, go fag-marry French Batman." Ethan calmly replies "He's fictional, sir, and gay marriage isn't legal yet. But I've got something just as wonderful." Cut to Ethan's boyfriend, in costume, declaring "Je suis ... ''Batman''!"