History Main / PrivateEyeMonologue

* The ''WesternAnimation/{{Garfield Special|s}}: Babes and Bullets'' special has Garfield doing this as detective [[PunnyName Sam Spayed]].

-->'''Derek''': ''(to the camera)'' The thing about crime is, it never changes and it never stays the same. Whether it's hearts or horses or the mayor, everyone's taking things only to feel onnnne...sad hole in themselves.

* Episodes of ''LightNovel/{{Durarara}}'' are narrated by various characters and sometimes evoke this, especially the one narrated by IntrepidReporter Shuuji Niekawa.

The Private-Eye Monologue is characterized by certain pronunciation and speech patterns that make it immediately recognizable and utterly [[RuleOfCool cool]]. The most basic rule to remember is that it is a ''monologue'', so it is ''spoken'' (not written), preferably in [[BadassBaritone a deep chain-smoker baritone]]. The last (or second last) word in the sentence is emphasized, to make clear where it ends. Short, choppy sentences in past tense with little conjunction (buts, howevers, and therefores) between them are preferred, and the lexicon mainly consists of [[BeigeProse short, simple words]]; that's why such monologues are so super quotable. PurpleProse and ''most'' [[SesquipedalianLoquaciousness Big Words]] are taboo.

* Parodied in the ''Series/StarTrekTheNextGeneration'' episode "The Big Goodbye". At the denouement, after Riker asks Data [[HolodeckMalfunction what happened in the holodeck]], Data puts on an exaggerated Humphrey Bogart-esque voice and manner and begins to monologue "It was raining in the city by the bay. A hard rain. Hard enough to wash the slime--" before Picard tells him to shut up, and he meekly turns back to the Ops console (while still wearing his 1940s gangster costume).
* ''Series/StarTrekDeepSpaceNine''. The NoirEpisode "Necessary Evil" opens with Constable Odo making his first [[CaptainsLog Federation log]] entry, which consists of a long rant on the tendency of humans to accumulate useless information, [[HypocriticalHumour ending]] with his one sentence report: "Everything's under control." But as Odo investigates an attempted murder which is linked to his past, the log entries begin to take on the form of the more traditional narrative. Odo, it's later revealed, is a fan of Creator/MickeySpillane novels.

[[DeadHorseTrope Nigh impossible]] to play straight these days. The tough FirstPersonSmartass, of course, is far from dead.

* Parodied in ''VideoGame/SpiderManPS4''. As a RunningGag, Spider-Man frequently takes on the persona of the "tough but lovable seen-too-much detective" Spider-Cop and narrates his adventures in this manner out loud. His FriendOnTheForce, Captain Yuri Watanabe, is not amused.

** Also parodied in the first game as Max, while in a drug-induced dream, receives a phone-call from himself, where the other him is firing off an endless line of weird metaphors. Max, thinking it is load of gibberish, dismisses it as a prank call, but can't help having a weird sense of deja vu, [[DoIReallySoundLikeThat thinking the caller sounded familiar]].

** Creator/FrankMiller [[SignatureStyle is addicted to this trope]]. It shows up in almost everything he's written, including ''ComicBook/BatmanYearOne'', ''[[Comicbook/BatmanTheDarkKnightReturns The Dark Knight Returns]]'', many issues of ''Comicbook/{{Daredevil}}'', and the ''ComicBook/{{Wolverine|1982}}'' limited series (co-written with Creator/ChrisClaremont).
* As a result of Frank Miller and Alan Moore's influence this trope has almost become the industry standard, with internal narrative caption boxes becoming the standard over the more traditional thought bubbles. How noir-like they are varies; of the two DC characters most associated with them, Batman's usually are, while Comicbook/TheFlash's generally aren't.

* ''Comicbook/{{Kabuki}}'': "I feel the burning of their gaze and it keeps me warm. I hold onto it and proceed. I find myself thinking of my sensei again...and of a little girl training her body to perform beyond built in psychological taboos. I think of this as I bite off my finger."

* Parodied in season 2 of WebAnimation/XRayAndVav with the introduction of Flynt Coal, "a Private Eye stuck in the forties" according to X-Ray. Whenever he starts a monologue, the scene goes monochrome and he talks like he's narrating a film noir. However, the whole thing is said out loud, and he [[DepartmentOfRedundancyDepartment then goes to repeat himself to the guys]], as if it had been in his head.

* ''WebComic/ParadoxSpace'':

* ''WebVideo/LoadingReadyRun'''s skit [[http://loadingreadyrun.com/videos/view/78/30-minutes-or-less "30 Minutes or Less"]] shows the gritty world of pizza delivery through this method.
* The series ''WebVideo/ThereWillBeBrawl'' is set in a gritty film-noir-ish version of the Mushroom Kingdom, so it's only natural that Luigi (the protagonist) narrates much of the story in this fashion. It's played completely straight though.
* ''[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rV5dNB5ThFA Ruby Rocket, Private Detective]]'' parodies this trope, with Ruby getting so tangled up in her monologue's [[{{Metaphorgotten}} bizarre metaphors]] that she can't hear her potential clients speak.

* Parodied in ''WebVideo/StupidMarioBrothers'' with VideoGame/MaxPayne saying his out loud which makes him look weird to everyone else.
* WebVideo/FiveSecondFilms: [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cgH7z6tzRa0&feature=g-u&context=G2c84993FUAAAAAAABAA The Big Drip.]]
* Setsuna does this pretty much every time she appears in ''WebVideo/NegimaTheAbridgedSeries''.
-->'''Setsuna:''' "School. Classroom 3-A. A place of learning. But I'm not here to learn. I'm here to protect my sweet princess, Konoka. Like the gargoyle that stands sentry over a beautiful citadel."

* Parodied in season 2 of WebAnimation/XRayAndVav with the introduction of Flynt Coal, "a Private Eye stuck in the forties" according to X-Ray. Whenever he starts a monologue, the scene goes monochrome and he talks like he's narrating a film noir. However, the whole thing is said out loud, and he [[DepartmentOfRedundancyDepartment then goes to repeat himself to the guys]], as if it had been in his head.

[[folder:Web Comics]]

--->"[[WordSaladHorror The bartender is shiny stuff and dreams are made of stooped necromancers. He sings like a banana wrist, having strayed too close to the constellations on their shaved skulls. The rain of frogs ended and the rain of blood comes down. Doing the flips and then I'll be gone! The whole city was an image, riding the bar. He yearns to get a taste of those tentacles...]]"
** In ''VideoGame/MaxPayne2'', Max frequently comes across televisions displaying ''Dick Justice'', a program which openly parodies this trope, and Max's inner monologue itself.

* Wiki/SCPFoundation: [[http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-2100-j SCP-2100-J]] is a fedora that causes whoever wears it to do one of these out loud.

* Odin in the ''ComicBook/{{Valhalla}}'' issue "The magic mead", often including references to his enormous thirst for the mead he's after.

-->-- '''Dick Justice''', ''VideoGame/MaxPayne2''

->''"She walked through my door like a tigress walks into a Burmese orphanage -- [[HeroesWantRedheads strawberry]] blonde and [[ShesGotLegs legs for hours]]. No dame her age could afford [[PrettyInMink a coat like that]], and the kinda makeup she had on gave me a good idea [[FemmeFatale how she got it]]. She had bad news written on her like [[TheGreatDepression October of '29]]."''

* Spoofed on ''Series/SabrinaTheTeenageWitch,'' where Sabrina interrupted Salem several times.

The Private-Eye Monologue is characterized by certain pronunciation and speech patterns that make it immediately recognizable and utterly [[RuleOfCool cool]]. The most basic rule to remember is that it is a ''monologue'', so it is ''spoken'' (not written), preferably in a deep chain-smoker baritone. The last (or second last) word in the sentence is emphasized, to make clear where it ends. Short, choppy sentences in past tense with little conjunction (buts, howevers, and therefores) between them are preferred, and the lexicon mainly consists of [[BeigeProse short, simple words]]; that's why such monologues are so super quotable. PurpleProse and ''most'' [[SesquipedalianLoquaciousness Big Words]] are taboo.

--->I am the big shot. You heard me right the first time -- name of bachelor Johnny Cool. Occupation -- big shot. Occupation at the moment, just having fun...what a party that was, the drinks were loaded and so were the dolls. I poured a stiff Manhattan and then I saw...Hotsy. What a dame, a big bountiful babe in the region of 48-23-38. ...One hell of a region. She had the hottest lips since Hiroshima and I had to stand back for fear of being burnt. "Whisky wow-wow," I breathed -- she was [[AbsoluteCleavage dressed as Biffo the Bear]]. In that kind of outfit, she could get rolled at night...''(music stops)'' ...and I don't mean at a craps table.

* ''Series/StarTrekDeepSpaceNine''. The NoirEpisode "Necessary Evil" opens with Constable Odo making his first [[CaptainsLog Federation log]] entry, which consists of a long rant on the tendency of humans to accumulate useless information, [[HypocriticalHumour ending]] with his one sentence report: "Everything's under control." But as Odo investigates an attempted murder which is linked to his past the log entries begin to take on the form of the more traditional narrative. Odo, it's later revealed, is a fan of Creator/MickeySpillane novels.

* ''Series/JessicaJones2015'' regularly has Jessica provide some sort of internal monologue. Besides being fitting for the story, as Jessica is a private investigator, it also ties in to one of her issues: admitting her problems to other people. In the penultimate episode of the series, she admits that she is not comfortable with talking about her issues to other people. The internal monologue is her talking her problems through with herself.

->''[[TheStinger The troper made it all the way to the end of the page]]. They had more time on their hands than a clock maker. All I could wonder now was how long they'd wander on their WikiWalk, driving into the sunset with no destination.''

** Creator/FrankMiller [[SignatureStyle is addicted to this trope]]. It shows up in almost everything he's written, including ''ComicBook/BatmanYearOne'', ''Comicbook/TheDarkKnightReturns'', many issues of ''Comicbook/{{Daredevil}}'', and the ''ComicBook/{{Wolverine|1982}}'' limited series (co-written with Creator/ChrisClaremont).

* In the ''Series/StarTrekVoyager'' uber fic "The Last Kiss Goodbye," Jane Kates (Kathryn Janeway) is a Los Angeles private eye hired to find the missing beauty Anna Borg (Seven of Nine) at the behest of Paramount producer Canon Bragger (Brannon Braga).

* Spoofed on ''Hyperdrive'', where Teal interrupts.

* Parodied in the ''Series/StarTrekTheNextGeneration'' episode "The Big Goodbye". At the denouement, after Riker asks Data [[HolodeckMalfunction what happened in the holodeck]], Data puts on an exaggerated Humphrey Bogart-esque voice and manner and begins to monologue "It was raining in the city by the bay. A hard rain. Hard enough to wash the slime --" before Picard tells him to shut up and he meekly turns back to the Ops console (while still wearing his 1940s gangster costume).
* ''Series/StarTrekDeepSpaceNine''. The FilmNoirEpisode "Necessary Evil" opens with Constable Odo making his first [[CaptainsLog Federation log]] entry, which consists of a long rant on the tendency of humans to accumulate useless information, [[HypocriticalHumour ending]] with his one sentence report: "Everything's under control." But as Odo investigates an attempted murder which is linked to his past the log entries begin to take on the form of the more traditional narrative. Odo, it's later revealed, is a fan of Creator/MickeySpillane novels.

* Discussed in the ''Series/StarTrekDeepSpaceNine'' episode "Necessary Evil", which was done in a FilmNoir style. Constable Odo is making his first [[CaptainsLog Federation log]] entry, which consists of a long rant on the tendency of humans to accumulate useless information, [[HypocriticalHumour ending]] with his one sentence report: "Everything's under control." But as Odo investigates an attempted murder which is linked to his past the log entries begin to take on the form of the more traditional narrative. (Odo, it's later revealed, is a fan of Creator/MickeySpillane novels.)

* The first few episodes of ''Series/{{Arrow}}'' had Oliver doing this. It was dropped once Diggle joined.