History Main / BaguetteBeatdown

The hero is walking away from his triumphant victory at the local grocer with his spoils and is attacked. He has no weapon to defend himself with, but fortunately he just bought some ISOStandardUrbanGroceries, so he improvises and pulls out his trusty baguette to demonstrate that pain is not just the French word for bread.

After all, bread is the staff of life. Bonus points if the opponent grabs one too, cuing a SwordFight. Same if the victor takes a bite of the weapon on the way from the battlefield.

* ''Series/MidsomerMurders'': In "Shot at Dawn", a pair of wheelchair-bound old duffers from FeudingFamilies get into a jousting match with baguettes that interrupts Inspector Barnaby's dinner.

* ''WebAnimation/{{RWBY}}'' has the quite-literal FoodFight in the first episode of Volume 2, where besides just throwing food at each other, the members of Teams RWBY and JNPR also go to melee range, grabbing foods that simulate their [[WeaponSpecialization weapons of choice]]. The sword-wielding Blake and Pyrrha play it title-straight while Ren uses two leeks in place of his [[DualWielding paired daggers]], Yang dons a pair of turkeys as boxing gloves, and Nora creates a [[DropTheHammer warhammer]] by spearing a watermelon on a stick.

* In ''ComicStrip/BloomCounty'', Opus lays waste to some mimes with an olive loaf after they follow him from the grocery store.

* In [[Recap/ZombieLandSagaE05 episode 5]] of ''Anime/ZombieLandSaga'', Kotaro makes his morning greeting [[ItMakesJustAsMuchSenseInContext as a stereotypical Frenchman carrying a baguette]], which he uses to smack Ai in the head for snarking about it. Ai immediately retaliates by grabbing the baguette from Kotaro's hand and outright clobbering him with it, knocking him to the ground and breaking the baguette.

* WebVideo/{{Benzaie}} of ''Website/ThatGuyWithTheGlasses'' frequently references Baguette Fighting as France's national sport.

* The {{MMORPG}} ''Videogame/RuneScape'' used to have a random event called the Sandwich Lady. Every so often she would appear out of nowhere and offer you one of a selection of treats (only one of which was actually useful for healing past level 10). If you picked the wrong one (or if you ignored her), she would knock you unconscious (guess what with) and you would wake up in a random city. Fortunately, this event has since been removed; she is now the owner of a bakery stall that [[VideoGameCrueltyPotential you can steal from]]. However, if she catches you, she'll still hit you with her baguette, though this time it will not knock you out but instead alert a nearby guard to attack you.

* The classic Lucas Arts point and click adventure game ''VideoGame/ZakMcKrackenAndTheAlienMindbenders'' features a stale baguette that could be used to kill a two-headed squirrel. You receive the baguette by annoying a baker into throwing it at you. The bread ''breaks'' the sidewalk.

[[folder:Web Comics]]

* A running gag or nearly so early in ''Swords and Sausages''. When the "[[LovableRogue heroes]]" first appear, they [[http://tigerknight.com/ss/1-5 threaten guards]] with stale bread, then [[http://tigerknight.com/ss/1-6 beat one]], then narrowly dodge some [[http://tigerknight.com/ss/2-1 thrown stale bakery]], and are chased by guards and a [[http://tigerknight.com/ss/2-2 loaf-armed baker]].

* ''WebAnimation/{{RWBY}}'' has the quite-literal FoodFight in the first episode of Volume 2, where besides just throwing food at each other, the members of Teams RWBY and JNPR also go to melee range, grabbing foods that simulate their [[WeaponOfChoice Weapons of Choice]]. The sword-wielding Blake and Pyrrha play it title-straight while Ren uses two leeks in place of his [[DualWielding paired daggers]], Yang dons a pair of turkeys as boxing gloves, and Nora creates a [[DropTheHammer warhammer]] by spearing a watermelon on a stick.

* In ''Film/HerbieGoesToMonteCarlo'', there is a scene where Herbie is waiting at a stoplight at an intersection when a truck driver gets a French woman carrying some groceries angry at him. She proceeds to pound on the side of the truck with a baguette, causing no obvious damage to bread or to the truck. It does result in the Love Bug getting dirty.

* ''Machinima/TheSpyFightsGodzillaForSomeReason'': At one point during the battle between Godzilla and the {{Kaiju}}-sized Spy, the latter whacks the former with a giant baguette.

After all, bread is the [[MartialArtsStaff staff]] of life. Bonus points if the opponent grabs one too, cuing a SwordFight. Same if the victor takes a bite of the weapon on the way from the battlefield.

After all, bread is the [[SimpleStaff staff]] of life. Bonus points if the opponent grabs one too, cuing a SwordFight. Same if the victor takes a bite of the weapon on the way from the battlefield.

* The {{MMORPG}} ''Videogame/RuneScape'' used to have a (very irritating) random event called the Sandwich Lady. Every so often (i.e. usually at least once a day) she would appear out of nowhere and offer you one of a selection of treats (only one of which was actually useful for healing past level 10). If you picked the wrong one (or if you ignored her), she would knock you unconscious (guess what with) and you would wake up in a random city. Fortunately, this event has since been removed; she is now the owner of a bakery stall that [[VideoGameCrueltyPotential you can steal from]]. However, if she catches you, she'll still hit you with her baguette, though this time it will not knock you out but instead alert a nearby guard to attack you.

* One less-than-serious article in an April edition of ''Magazine/{{Dragon}}'' magazine included this trope taken UpToEleven: the garlic bread ''golem''!

* ''WesternAnimation/ThePowerpuffGirls'': In "Forced Kin", Mojo Jojo uses a baguette to whack a hapless grocery store employee. At the climax of the episode, he flies into an UnstoppableRage and manages to beat the [[EvilerThanThou apparently-invincible villain]] with his bare hands [[BrickJoke and a baguette]], culminating in a [[MundaneMadeAwesome slow-motion final blow]].

* In [[Recap/ZombieLandSagaE05 episode 5]] of ''Anime/ZombieLandSaga'', Kotaro makes his morning greeting [[ItMakesJustAsMuchSenseInContext as a stereotypical Frenchman carrying a baguette]], which he uses to smack Ai in the head for snarking about it. Ai immediately retaliates by grabbing the baguette from his hand and clobbering him with it so hard, it knocks him to the ground and breaks the baguette.

* In one episode of ''WesternAnimation/ThePowerpuffGirls'', Mojo Jojo beats an apparently invincible villain (due to some sort of UnstoppableRage) with his own hands and a baguette, culminating in a [[MundaneMadeAwesome slow-motion final blow]] with the baguette. Mojo also used the baguette to whack a hapless grocery store employee earlier in the episode.

* In ''Cheech and Chong's The Corsican Brothers'' (don't worry if you never heard of it), Chong's character discovers the weapon potential of day-old french loaves.

* South African rusks aren't the soft, super-sweet baby treats closer to cookies/ biscuits you're probably thinking of. (For those, you need to ask for Marie biscuits.) Oh, no: real rusks are yeasted cobblestones you can easily break teeth on if you forget to dunk them enough, and which can last years if stored properly. They have served as ''ad hoc'' thrown weaponry at many a riot (it's a packed lunch, not a weapon -- honest!). Also, the crumbs make for very irritating practical jokes of the "thumb tack on seat" kind. Just ask anybody dealing with kids after break, especially if it was muesli rusks.

* In ''ComicStrip/BloomCounty'', Opus lays waste to some mimes after they follow him from the grocery store with an olive loaf.

A SubTrope of NerfArm, EdibleBludgeon and FoodFight. A person using such a weapon may be an ChefOfIron, while anyone who can bake a loaf capable of concussing someone is a LethalChef.

* In ''Cheech and Chong's the Corsican Brothers'' (don't worry if you never heard of it), Chong's character discovers the weapon potential of day-old french loaves.

* There's a brief Baquette duel in the [[SoBadItsGood So Bad It's Good]] B-Movie ''Dead Right'', when the main protagonist chases down the serial killer in a supermarket.

* ''Film/TheToxicAvenger'': Even thought it's probably not something he is proud of, Creator/MichaelJaiWhite can be seen in the video example below, during one of his earliest on-screen appearances, invoking this trope against [[KickTheDog homeless people]].

* In one episode of ''Series/{{Kaamelott}}'', King Arthur tries cutting a loaf of bread but can't even dent it with his knife. He is then informed that the peasants are revolting, and hadn't brought fresh bread to the castle for weeks. Arthur leaves table to have a serious discussion with the rebels -- and, after reflection, pick up the stale bread as a bludgeon.

* ''Series/MidsomerMurders'': In "Shot at Dawn", a pair of wheelchair bound old duffers from FeudingFamilies get into jousting match with baguettes that interrupts Inspector Barnaby's dinner.

* In the first episode of ''Series/SheSpies'', D.D. is forced to fight a man who grabs a fencing foil. D.D. grabs a large baguette, and proceeds to defeat him. A little later, it is shown to be subverted, as the loaf of bread was a prop from a movie set, and had been baked around a lead pipe.

* ''Webcomic/SluggyFreelance'' would like to remind you to [[http://sluggy.com/daily.php?date=991222 make sure it's a baguette, and not a sandwich]] before fighting with it.

* The French amateur series ''WebVideo/FranceFive'', an AffectionateParody of {{Sentai}} shows, has amongst its FiveManBand the hero "Yellow Baguette". In the first episode, he fight with a sword shaped like a baguette, before switching to croissant boomerangs in later ones.

* In one episode of ''WesternAnimation/ThePowerpuffGirls'', Mojo Jojo beats an apparently invincible villain (due some sort of UnstoppableRage) with his own hands and a baguette, culminating in a [[MundaneMadeAwesome slow-motion final blow]] with the baguette. Mojo also used the baguette to whack a hapless grocery store employee earlier in the episode.

* South African rusks aren't the soft, super-sweet baby treats closer to cookies/ biscuits you're probably thinking of. (For those, you need to ask for Marie biscuits.) Oh, no: real rusks are yeasted cobble stones you can easily break teeth on if you forget to dunk them enough, and which can last years if stored properly. They have served as ''ad hoc'' thrown weaponry at many a riot (it's a packed lunch, not a weapon -- honest!). Also, the crumbs make for very irritating practical jokes of the "thumb tack on seat" kind. Just ask anybody dealing with kids after break, especially if it was muesli rusks.

* In ''Film/JohnnyEnglishStrikesAgain'', Johnny does this to a hapless street vendor while wearing a [=VR=] headset.
* A minor example in ''Film/MammaMiaHereWeGoAgain'': during the musical number for [[Music/{{ABBA}} "Waterloo"]], Harry grabs a baguette (appropriate, as it takes place in a French restaurant) and mock-duels with a waiter.

* A loaf of bread is among the {{Edible Bludgeon}}s and {{Improvised Weapon}}s used in the Music/BeastieBoys video for "Ch-Ch-Check It Out".

* France in PolandBall will frequently wield a baguette, posibly with a nail in it.

* ''WesternAnimation/TheAdventuresOfPussInBoots'': In "[[Recap/TheAdventuresOfPussInBootsS01E03Brothers Brothers]]', Toby tries to help Puss fighting a figure cloaked in shadows by hitting it with a baguette, but ends up clonking the cat instead.

* In one episode of ''Anime/ZombieLandSaga'', Kotaro makes his morning greeting [[ItMakesJustAsMuchSenseInContext as a stereotypical Frenchman carrying a baguette]], which he uses to smack Ai in the head for snarking about it. Ai immediately retaliates by grabbing the baguette from his hand and clobbering him with it so hard, it knocks him to the ground and breaks the baguette.