History Funny / ToyStory1

* "Okay, [[ParentalBonus Mr. LightBeer]], prove it!"

'''Buzz:''' ''My'' fault?! [[CouldHaveAvoidedThisPlot If you hadn't pushed me out the window in the first place--]]\\

** Calling the Speak-n-Spell 'Mr Spell' but everyone calling Mr Potato Head just 'Potato Head'.
* Mr. Potato Head quietly removing his mouth and [[StealthPun repeatedly putting it on his backside while Slinky is defending Woody]], getting a laugh from the Speak-n-Spell.[[note]]If you don't get it, Potato Head is calling Slinky a kiss-ass.[[/note]]

-->'''Mr. Potato Head:''' Ages 3 and up! It's on my box, "Ages 3 and ''Up!''" I'm not supposed to be babysitting Princess Drool!

-->'''Mr. Potato Head:''' ''[is turned away from the camera]'' Hey, Hamm, look! ''[turns around, revealing that he has rearranged his face]'' I'm Picasso!\\
'''Hamm:''' I don't get it. ''[walks away]''\\

** If you listen closely during the shot while Woody {{Facepalm}}s, you can hear Mr. Spell say, "Spell the word 'Trashcan'!"

* Mr. Potato Head [[ThisIsGonnaSuck crosses himself solemnly]] when Andy is unboxing Buzz Lightyear.

'''Woody:''' ''[[BigEntrance Helle-e-o-ow!!!]]''\\

** A few minutes later in the film, Woody calls him "Light-Snack".

--->'''Woody:''' [[YouHaveGotToBeKiddingMe You]] ''[[YouHaveGotToBeKiddingMe actually]]'' [[YouHaveGotToBeKiddingMe think you're]] ''[[YouHaveGotToBeKiddingMe the]]'' [[YouHaveGotToBeKiddingMe Buzz Lightyear?]] ''(losing it)'' Oh, all this time, I thought it was an act! (to the toys) [[SarcasmMode Hey guys, look! It's the]] ''[[SarcasmMode real]]'' [[SarcasmMode Buzz Lightyear!]]\\

-->'''Rex:''' I don't like confrontations!

-->'''Buzz:''' According to my navicomputer, the--\\
'''Woody:''' [[BigShutUp Shut up!]] Just ''shut up'', you idiot!\\

'''Woody:''' ''[[[SanitySlippage flips out]]]'' '''''[[SuddenlyShouting YOU!]] [[PunctuatedForEmphasis ARE!!]] [[TheReasonYouSuckSpeech A!!!]] [[RageBreakingPoint TOYYYYYYY!!!]]''''' You aren't the real Buzz Lightyear, you're... augh, you're an action figure! You are ''a child's... plaything!!''\\

'''Woody:''' Hyper''active'' hyperdrive! And astro... uh... ''turf''!

* While the [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GOxJpGI8SWc Black Friday Cut]] on the whole is pretty awful, it has at least a couple of funny moments.

--->'''Buzz:''' One minute, you're defending the whole galaxy!... and then ''suddenly'', you find yourself sucking down Darjeeling with... [[BlackComedy Marie Antonette]] and her little sister.

'''Buzz:''' Look at me, I can't even fly out of a window! But the hat looked good? Tell me the hat looked good. The apron was a bit much... Years of academy training, wasted!

--->'''Rex:''' ''(panicked)'' Any dinosaur-shaped ones?!\\
'''Hamm''': Oh for crying out loud, they're all in ''boxes'', you idiot!

'''Woody''': A lunch box?\\

'''Slinky''': [[DeadpanSnarker For lunch.]] ''(laughs at his own joke)''\\

-->'''Buzz''': No readout yet if the air is breathable, [[TemptingFate and there seems to be no sign of intelligent life anywhere.]]\\
'''Woody''': ''[[BigEntrance Helle-e-o-ow!!!]]''\\
'''Buzz''': HOLD-IDD!!!!\\
'''Woody''': AAAAAHHHHH!!!! [Buzz fires his "laser" at Woody] Whoa! He-Hey! Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Did I frighten you? Didn't mean to. Sorry. Howdy. My name... is Woody... and this... is Andy's room. That's all I wanted to say. And also, there has been a bit of a mix-up. This is my spot, see... the bed here.\\
'''Buzz''': [sees Woody's "Sheriff" star badge] Local law enforcement! It's about time you got here. I'm Buzz Lightyear, Space Ranger, Universe Protection Unit. My ship has crash-landed here by mistake.\\
'''Woody''': Yes, it is a mistake, because, you see, the bed here is my spot.\\
'''Buzz''': I need to repair my turbo boosters. Do you people still use fossil fuels, or have you discovered crystallic fusion?\\
'''Woody''': Well, let's see, we got double-A's.

-->'''Buzz''': I am Buzz Lightyear, I come in peace!\\
'''Rex''': [Walks over to shake his hand] Oh I'm so glad you're not a dinosaur!

--> '''Rex:''' I don't like confrontations!

--> '''Woody''': ''[[BringIt Okay! Come on!]]'' '''[[LetsGetDangerous You want a piece of me?]]'''

-->'''Buzz''': One minute, you're defending the whole galaxy!... and then ''suddenly'', you find yourself sucking down Darjeeling with... [[BlackComedy Marie Antonette]] and her little sister.

--->'''Buzz:''' I-I-I-, I'm sorry. You're right, I'm just a little depressed, that's all. I can get through this... [[SuddenlyShouting OH, I'M A SHAM!]]
--->'''Woody:''' Shhhh! Quiet, Buzz!
--->'''Buzz:''' Look at me, I can't even fly out of a window! But the hat looked good? Tell me the hat looked good. The apron was a bit much... Years of academy training, wasted!

-->'''Potato Head:''' How did I get stuck with ''you'' as a moving buddy?
-->'''Rex:''' (completely sincere) Everyone else was picked.

-->'''Sarge:''' Cowboy! Where is your honor, dirtbag?! You are an absolute disgrace! You don't deserve to ''wear a ten gallon hat on your pint sized head!''

* As Woody ignites the rocket on Buzz's back (using Buzz's helmet to reflect the sun onto the wick) in a last-ditch effort to catch up to the moving van. Woody realizes too late that he may have just doomed them both. What really makes it is that as Woody realizes this, Buzz gets a really deadpan expression on his face that just screams "[[NowYouTellMe Oh, NOW he gets it!]]".
-->'''Woody:''' [[LateToTheRealization Wait a minute!]] [[ExplainExplainOhCrap I just lit a rocket... Rockets explode!]] *(WHOOOSH)*

** Right after that, the toys at the moving truck realize Woody and Buzz are coming up fast. Woody accidentally lets go of RC, who dives in towards the truck like a missile. All toys go to take cover, except one, who gets hit by the "RC Missile". The victim? '''[[{{Jerkass}} Mr. Potato Head]].''' Cue an OhCrap face(with his pupils shrinking to pinpoints) as he's about to get hit. One has to wonder if Woody [[LaserGuidedKarma secretly did it on purpose as an act of revenge]]. Even Potato Head not flinching upon seeing Buzz holding on to Woody with his arm fixed looks like [[JerkassRealization a blank admission that he accused Woody of a broken-limb accident]] [[FailedASpotCheck that should have]] [[BoomerangBigot been obvious to]] ''[[PullingThemselvesTogether him]]'' [[CouldHaveAvoidedThisPlot much earlier!]]

'''Slinky:''' [[BaitAndSwitch THROW HIM OUT THE WINDOW]], [[TheDogBitesBack LIKE HE DID TO BUZZ!]]

-->'''Hamm:''' Oh, that is disgusting!

** Right after that, the toys at the moving truck realize Woody and Buzz are coming up fast. Woody accidentally lets go of RC, who dives in towards the truck like a missile. All toys go to take cover, except one, who gets hit by the "RC Missile". The victim? '''[[{{Jerkass}} Mr. Potato Head]].''' Cue an OhCrap face(with his pupils shrinking to pinpoints) as he's about to get hit. One has to wonder if Woody [[LaserGuidedKarma secretly did it on purpose as an act of revenge]]. Even Potato Head not flinching upon seeing Buzz holding on to Woody with his arm fixed looks like [[JerkassRealization a blank admission that he accused Woody of a broken-limb accident]] [[FailedASpotCheck that should have been obvious to]] ''[[PullingThemselvesTogether him]]'' [[CouldHaveAvoidedThisPlot much earlier!]]

* After RC's batteries die, Buzz and Woody remember the rocket and match. Woody lights the match, and a immediately car drives by, causing the match to go out before the rocket is lit. All Woody can do is let out several [[BigNo Big "NO"!s]].

** Slinky attempts to stretch out and use his body to help the pair, but he loses his grip on the ramp, towing Woody, Buzz and RC behind him. Cue a long, overdramatic scream from him as he stretches out before we cut to the inside of the car, with the infant Molly seeing the toys dragged behind in the side mirror of the car, with [[WesternAnimation/TheLionKing Hakuna Matata]] playing. Molly giggles at the sight.

'''Slinky:''' [[BaitAndSwitch THROW HIM OUT THE WINDOW]] [[TheDogBitesBack LIKE HE DID TO BUZZ!]]

** Woody opens Buzz' helmet to start whaling on him, but then Buzz [[{{Fingore}} slams his helmet on Woody's fingers]], causing Woody to howl [[{{Narm}} in a hilariously undignified way.]] He retaliates by hitting Buzz's buttons with his free hand, making his voice box say [[BrokenRecord "Buzz— Buzz— Buzz]] Lightyear to the rescue!"

--->'''Woody:''' Shhhh! Quiet buzz!

'''Woody:''' ''[[[SanitySlippage flips out]]]'' '''''[[SuddenlyShouting YOU!]] [[PunctuatedForEmphasis ARE!!]] [[TheReasonYouSuckSpeech A!!!]] [[RageBreakingPoint TOOOOOOOYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!]]''''' You aren't the real Buzz Lightyear, you're... you're an action figure! You are ''a child's plaything!''\\

'''Woody:''' Oh yeah? Well, good riddance, ya loony! ''[mockingly, under his breath]'' "Rendezvous with Star Command."

** Right after that, the toys at the moving truck realize Woody and Buzz are coming up fast. Woody accidentally lets go of RC, who dives in towards the truck like a missile. All toys go to take cover, except one, who gets hit by the "RC Missile". The victim? '''[[{{Jerkass}} Mr. Potato Head]].''' Cue an OhCrap face as he's about to get hit. One has to wonder if Woody [[LaserGuidedKarma secretly did it on purpose as an act of revenge]]. Even Potato Head not flinching upon seeing Buzz holding on to Woody with his arm fixed looks like [[JerkassRealization a blank admission that he accused Woody of a broken-limb accident]] [[FailedASpotCheck that should have been obvious to]] ''[[PullingThemselvesTogether him]]'' [[CouldHaveAvoidedThisPlot much earlier!]]

** One of the toys Woody bears witness to is a fishing pole attached to [[ShesGotLegs a long pair of feminine legs]]. [[VisualPun A hooker]], if you may.

* Mr. Potato Head and Hamm play ''TabletopGame/{{Battleship}},'' especially when you notice Potato has called every spot on Hamm's grid ''except the ones where his ships are.''

*** If you look closely, Potato Head set up his ships side-by-side, making it too easy for Hamm to guess where his ships are.

--->'''Buzz:''' I'm just a little depressed, that's all. I can get through this... [[SuddenlyShouting OH, I'M A SHAM!]] Look at me, I can't even fly out of a window! But the hat looked good? Tell me the hat looked good. The apron was a bit much... Years of academy training, wasted!