History Funny / TalesSeries

** In one skit, Harold brings Loni a bowl of Nanaly's food. He suspects she's dosed the food with something and gets Nanaly to switch bowls with him... Only for Harold to reveal she ''knew'' he would come to that conclusion and only dosed Nanaly's bowl.

--->'''Jade''': ''Then, if Reala was a 200-kilogram woman, you'd still have said... *dresses up as Kyle and speaks with nasal voice* "For your sake, I shall be your hero!" *back to normal* to her?

* On celebration of ''VideoGame/TalesOfHearts'', there were some funny drama CD including casting Shing, Kohak, Luke and Asch as a preschool kids (with Guy as the teacher). Luke bullying Shing might go over the line, but then what follows was ''Asch bullying Luke to tears'' by constantly calling him replica in MotorMouth ("Replicareplicareplicareplicareplicareplicarepliiiiica!"). And after Kohak ends up crying, Guy enters and tried to get Asch apologize... only for Asch to think Guy is just siding with Luke... and ''cries''. To quote a youtube user... "ASCH IN A CRYING VOICE. MY LIFE IS COMPLETE."

Courtesy of the wonderful, wonderful SamRiegel, featured in the Tales of Xillia preview at Wondercon 2013:
-->'''Jude:''' TEACH ME ABOUT BAZONGAS!

* Pick a moment involving Grune [[spoiler:before her awakening]], any moment. Especially if Norma is involved. For the best, some nominations include:
-->'''Norma:''' Okay, let's find out what color underwear G-Girl is wearing today!
-->'''Grune:''' *checks* ...Oh. It looks like I forgot to put them on today...
-->'''Norma:''' ...*SWEATDROP*
* The Jerkass Knight from the mainland is REALLY getting on our heroes nerves. You expect a big fight scene, but then a certain music starts playing...
-->'''Senel:''' *Gasp*
-->'''Norma:''' [[OhCrap Oh no!]]
-->'''Curtis:''' Hey noble knight causin' trouble, don't you know the rules of this town?
-->'''Quppo:''' You're not supposed to fight!
-->'''Pippo:''' No acts of violence! <3
-->'''Curtis:''' Exactly boys, just what they said. You gotta obey the rules at all times, you dig?
-->'''Poppo:''' What if you break them?
-->'''Curtis:''' No-ho-hoh!
-->'''Grune:''' [[TemptingFate What if you disobey?]]
-->'''Curtis:''' Ohhh!
-->'''Quppo, Pippo, Poppo:''' What'll happen? What'll happen?! What'll happen?!? [[VerbalTic *Ors?!?!*]]
-->'''Curtis:''' [[ThemeMusicPowerUp Those who break the rules will get to feel,]] [[ThePowerOfRock the iron hammer of justice and hear its thunderous peal.]]
-->'''Norma:''' [[ThrowItIn Sounds good! You're in for it now!]]
-->'''Curtis:''' If there's a crime, we'll stop it; if there's a brawl, we'll squash it; Oh, yeah! [[PunctuatedForEmphasis That's...our...life!]]
-->'''Quppo, Pippo, Poppo:''' *Ors!* *Ors ors!*
-->'''Knight:''' Aren't you...
-->'''Curtis:''' [[PreAssKickingOneLiner Feel the iron hammer!]] [[MegatonPunch *WHACK*]]
* How about the scene with Poppo and the Great Gaet?

* In a hilarious subversion of OnlySmartPeopleMayPass, the party is trying to get into Volt's Temple, but the door is closed, and a sign nearby says that they must first solve a riddle before it will open. The party laments that the team's SmartGuy was left behind at this point...until [[LargeHam Max]] just rams the door open on his own (and shortly thereafter gets electricuted).

** How about every time Dhaos gets deafeted by Indignation. Seriously am I the only one who laughs every time he is suprised by that skill.

grin must be some kind of a mask

* On celebration of ''TalesOfHearts'', there were some funny drama CD including casting Shing, Kohak, Luke and Asch as a preschool kids (with Guy as the teacher). Luke bullying Shing might go over the line, but then what follows was ''Asch bullying Luke to tears'' by constantly calling him replica in MotorMouth ("Replicareplicareplicareplicareplicareplicarepliiiiica!"). And after Kohak ends up crying, Guy enters and tried to get Asch apologize... only for Asch to think Guy is just siding with Luke... and ''cries''. To quote a youtube user... "ASCH IN A CRYING VOICE. MY LIFE IS COMPLETE."

* Golden Gummi has [[VideoGame/TalesOfVesperia Karol Capel]] fearing that he's trapped in a parody of ''{{Saw}}''. The role of Jigsaw is played by [[TalesOfTheAbyss Tokunaga]].

* When Lloyd's group first meet Presea, they see her dragging some sacred wood to the church. Lloyd and Genis both go over and offer to take it for her... and find it is too heavy for both of them to carry. Presea then just takes the wood back and continues dragging it seemingly effortlessly. Lloyd's only comment: "I've lost all confidence as a man."
** It's followed up later when Colette agrees to help Zelos carry Regal... and then proceeds to ''lift the guy with one hand''. To quote Raine: "Men are so useless these days."
* Pretty much any time Lloyd says "Eewww". (Which he does fairly often.) Also, early in the game: "They've ruined my handsome face!"
* The game also has its share of hilarious after-battle speeches: one of the best is as follows.
---> '''Lloyd''': Victory
---> '''Colette''': Belongs to
---> '''Sheena''': The Most
---> '''Zelos''': Sexy! Dead sexy!
** This one is almost as funny: You get it if Lloyd is poisoned after a battle, but Colette is not:
---> '''Lloyd''': {weakly} Colette... need cure for... poison...
---> '''Colette''': {cheerfully} I'm fine! I'm not poisoned!
---> '''Lloyd''': {weakly} No... I mean... me...
*** You can get that one even if Collete is poisoned too, she earns the title 'Oblivious' if you do so
** From the second game:
---> '''Regal''': Nice skills.
---> '''Emil''': Nice moves.
---> '''Marta''': Hey, what about me!?
---> '''Regal''': Nice weapon.
---> '''Marta''': That doesn't have anything to do with me!
** This after battle quote is especially funny:
--->'''Marta''': There is no enemy before love!
--->'''Emil''': So you lose if there's no love?
--->'''Marta''': Yes, so tell me that you love me!
--->'''Emil''': ...we can lose next time.
--->'''Marta''': Emil!
* Three words: [[TheMessiah "Um...uh...die!"]]
* Most of the Z-Button skits are pretty hilarious as well. Most noteworthy are Darkness Beam (wherein Lloyd burns Zelos but good), Dirk's Method of Memorization (wherein Colette and Lloyd [[{{Cloudcuckoolander}} arrive at hilarious conclusions]]), and particularly For Lazy People (wherein Lloyd [[BreakingTheFourthWall breaks the fourth wall]]).
** The skits in the second game are just as funny:
--->'''Tenabrae''': You have now [[DefeatMeansFriendship befriended]] twenty-five monsters.
--->'''Emil''': It's sorta sad.
--->'''Marta''': What's wrong? Aren't you happy? Twenty-five monsters isn't bad!
--->'''Emil''': Yeah, but this means I have more monster friends than Human ones.
--->'''Tenabrae''': That is rather...
--->'''Marta''': Yeah okay, that's sad.
* At one point, the game tells you, "[[spoiler:Kratos obtained the title of Traitor.]]"
* [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=goQMnWm7tEk This skit]] from Dawn of the New World is one of the funniest (except, for some, for Marta being the ClingyJealousGirl she is for the whole game).
* Not to mention the whole "nazdrovie" vs. "light-frog" naming debate...which Tenebrae is constantly on the wrong side of.
** Hell, half to three quarters of Tenebrae's dialogue is quite hilarious, especially in the Z-skits.
* Regal in general in the sequel.
** When he gets out of prison (again), he, being the strong man he is, snaps the handcuffs apart. He then turns said action into an ad for the company he is president of, explaining that if they had bought Lezareno Company handcuffs, he wouldn't have been able to do that.
** When Regal reveals that he's getting used to wearing handcuffs:
---> Sheena: It's the fact that you're used to it that worries me.
** When he discovers what one of his products, Eau Du Seduction, smells like (a villain is wearing it):
---> I'll send an order to the factory to halt production immediately.
* Remember Presea's and Regal's easily-missed "Paw Pad" skits and titles in the original? ItGotWorse. (Meeting Tenebrae is only the beginning.)
* The [[spoiler:SpotTheImposter]] moment in the sequel, when Emil finally discovers the truth about what's going on with the supposed "Lloyd is being a crazy psycho and destroying towns" thing. [[spoiler:In a pretty epic scene with two Lloyds duelling each other, one of them is spouting all these cliched lines about justice and making the right choice, while the other one is comparatively much calmer and level-headed. The imposter is, of course, the former.]] But even if you never played the original, you'd be able to tell [[spoiler:which one is the imposter]] for the simple fact that ''he's bouncing on the balls of his feet wearing a real-life ":D" expression.''
* Decus's introduction. Praying to the goddess for Alice to fall in love with him, then accusing Emil of having a crush on him, and finally forcing Eau de Seduction on Emil. Emil then asks "What was that guy?" No, not who; ''what''.
* The "curse" that would befall anyone who opened the iron maiden before it granted its wish was both this and CrowningMomentOfAwesome. And of course, who would question something like that coming from the EmotionlessGirl? Oh, and of course, even if the Vanguard hadn't fallen for it, it was still rigged up so that it would appear empty if opened by someone who didn't know the trick. Presea pretty much made that up just for the hell of it. Repeat: ''the EmotionlessGirl'' did something just for the lulz--and didn't break her [[TheStoic stoic]] nature once, even after the guys she was pranking had left.
** She does plenty for the lulz, even in the first game, even when she's still actually emotionless. Most of the time, this involves [[DeadpanSnarker snarking]] at people in her robot voice. For example, after Zelos tries to use a metaphor:
---> '''Presea:''' Incorrect usage detected. Correction necessary.
---> '''Zelos:''' (shamed) Aw, Presea!
* Back in the first game, if you were controlling someone other than Lloyd and had Lloyd in the party at the start of the boss fight with Magnius, you could get a very interesting bit of 'dialogue'. Your party members in battle will do things like shouting something when an enemy starts to cast a spell, to help you stay aware of the battlefield. Lloyd's quote for this is "Not a chance!". So when Magnius delivers his PreAsskickingOneLiner and then ''immediately'' starts casting:
--->'''Magnius:''' You really think you're gonna live through this?! ''*starts casting*''
--->'''Lloyd:''' Not a chance!
* A skit in ''VideoGame/TalesOfSymphonia'' has everyone in your party taking a quiz, basically so the genius Genis can show off his smarts. [[IdiotHero Lloyd]] gets 25 points, then begins acting proud. Colette remarks that it's the best grade he's ever gotten on a test. It then goes on to say that Colette got over two-hundred. Turns out the test was out of 400 points, not 100!
* In the sequel, the first words out of Zelos' mouth when he meets Sheena are "Hey Mrs. Jubilees!"

* During a post-battle moment in the UpdatedRerelease, it's commented upon how [[TokenMiniMoe Sophie]] loves to eat kanitama (basically an omelette or cake made with crab and eggs). When Pascal suggests that Richard, being the prince, eats "royal kanitama" every day, Sophie effectively turns into a zombie, chanting with a CreepyMonotone for Richard to give her the "royal kanitama" which naturally freaks him out and causes him to back off with her in pursuit. Pascal just sits back with a contented smirk on her face.
* "I am.....''MASQUE DE BARONIA''." ...And basically anything related to that phrase. Look it up.
* There is a downloadable skit in which Sophie mentions that she recently learned all about Christmas from Malik, and then proceeds to tell that gang about Santa Claus.... who she has been led to believe is a man who carries an axe and wanders through the night on Christmas Eve, chopping down the chimney's of houses. Cue a cut-in of Malik dressed as Santa, beard, sack, and all, holding an axe and having the expression of some [[AxeCrazy sadistic murderer]]. Note that Malik regularly tells outlandish tales to the naive Sophie and this seems like his regular behavior, so the skit is made even funnier when Malik claims that he heard the story from ''Richard''.
* As mentioned above, Malik has a long history of telling Sophie absolutely ridiculous things with a totally straight face. As an example, during a trip through the Stratan desert, Pascal becomes so over heated that she can only mumble and Cheria is forced to interpret for her. Once they reach a cooler area, Pascal is suddenly back to her normal vibrant self. Malik's theory? Pascal is in fact a rare breed of fish. Sophie is intrigued, and Malik decides they will have to search Pascal for gills.

* In the sequal the first words out of zelos' mouth when he meets sheena is 'hey mrs. jubilees' this troper cracked up!

-->'''Curtis:''' If there's a crime, we'll stop it; if there's a brawl, we'll squash it; Oh, yeah! [[ThisIsSPARTA That's...our...life!]]

* [[DeadpanSnarker Jade Curtiss.]] Let's just list them up:
** "Why if it isn't Dist the Runny!"
** "Which Jade is that? I don't know any Jades with such poor taste in friends." ... "Ah-ah, careful now. You know how your nose runs when you're mad."
** "Oh, not at all. I'm actually crying on the inside, wracked with guilt..."
** "Oh, not at all. I'm so hot, I could just die."
*** And then Luke, Guy, Natalia, and Mieu [[ItMakesSenseInContext try to strip him]].
** "No, no. I've been frail since birth... *cough cough*"
** "Coochie coochie coochie coochie coochie coochie coochie coochie.... nibble."
** "What's the matter? You look as if you've swallowed a bug. Oh wait, you always look like that."
** "Heaven smiles upon me because of my good deeds."
*** "(That can't possibly be true...)"
** "I intend to make good use of my youth to develop a memorable character, much as these ruins have been remembered over the ages... To that end, I'm devoting myself to driving you youngsters crazy."
** ...and many more. To sum it up.
--->'''Guy''': "...you sound like you're having fun, Colonel."
--->'''Jade''': *[[CheshireCatGrin grins]]* "More than you could ever imagine."
* Tear's [[GagBoobs "Me-me-melons, what do you mean melons!? Are you stupid!? Can't you be a little more quiet!?"]]
** And what triggered said comment, Luke: Stupid there no way you'll grow melons like that.
* This game's version of the "Our weapons are..." end of battle skit is worth a mention:
--> Luke: Our weapons are status!
--> Jade: Scheming!
--> Anise: Playing dirty!
--> Guy: That's awful. (And even if he's in the battle party, he won't always say it.)
* This one that sounds truly... wrong:
---> '''Luke''': "You're weak!"
---> '''Guy''': "You're a hack!"
---> '''Jade''': "You're wack."
** This quote shows up in ''{{Tales Of Vesperia}}'' if you win a battle with Yuri, Karol, and Estelle in your party. The last part of the line is said by ''Estelle''.
* "You idiot! You just cost us another thousand Gald!" "Mieuuuuuuuu!"
* Even ''Ion'' of all people gets a great one.
---> '''Ion''': "The poor thing must have been terrified. She screamed "I'll kill you bastards!" as she fell."
* [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ycAGgGpqzc8 ANISE-SAMAAA!! Have mercy on me...!]]
** "Luke, is getting some serious discipline."
* The [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_PfVFybJiCI swimsuits skits]], oh so much. The [[LeaningOnTheFourthWall leaning on the fourth wall]] combined with hilarious {{lampshading}} makes it all the more funny!
* Emperor Peony gets all the party members to humbly beg if they want him to give up the sword they need as a catalyst for the Planetary Fonic Arte. Except when it comes Jade's turn, and Jade starts hamming it up:
--> '''Peony:''' "Shut up. Don't beg. I'll puke."
* Guy the Orange Abyss Ranger
-->'''LUKE''': "Agent of justice, Abyss Red!"
-->'''JADE''': "Blue!"
-->'''ANISE''': "Pink!"
-->'''GUY''': "Orange?! Oh hell, we're done fighting anyway..."
* Emperor Peony convincing the team to find his rappigs, simply by asking Jade if he minds that his namesake might fall down the stairs, or end up in the oven as tonight's dinner. Jade is quite disturbed and quickly agrees to search for them.
-->'''Jade''': ...My apologies. I was unable to take any further humiliation.
-->'''Luke''': Emperor Peony really has your number, huh, Jade?

* As mentioned above, Malik has a long history of telling Sophie absolutely ridiculous things with a totally straight face. As an example, during a trip through the Stratan desert, Pascal becomes so over heated that she can only mumbled and Cheria is forced to interpret for her. Once they reach a cooler area, Pascal is suddenly back to her normal vibrant self. Malik's theory? Pascal is in fact a rare breed of fish. Sophie is intrigued, and Malik decides they will have to search Pascal for gills.

* "Shut up. Don't beg. I'll puke."

'''TalesOfPhantasia'''

** How about every time Dhaos gets defeted by Indignation. Seriously am I the only one who laughs every time he is suprise by that skill.

'''TalesOfDestiny'''

'''TalesOfEternia'''

'''TalesOfSymphonia'''

* A skit in ''TalesOfSymphonia'' has everyone in your party taking a quiz, basically so the genius Genis can show off his smarts. [[IdiotHero Lloyd]] gets 25 points, then begins acting proud. Colette remarks that it's the best grade he's ever gotten on a test. It then goes on to say that Colette got over two-hundred. Turns out the test was out of 400 points, not 100!

'''TalesOfLegendia'''

'''TalesOfTheAbyss'''

'''TalesOfVesperia'''

'''TalesOfGraces'''

** "DAMN IT, YOU'RE NOT HEROES!! JUST A BUNCH OF MAJINKEN/DEMON FANG USERS!!!" - [[TalesOfDestiny Kyle]]

* In the Apple Gummi, [[TalesOfPhantasia Suzu]] complained about her lack of popularity, and then Mint tried to comfort her by saying 'popularity doesn't matter'. Cue Arche telling her that she ranked higher than Mint despite her being the heroine. Cue Mint getting petrified out of shock. [[TalesOfSymphonia Zelos]] gets ecstatic that he gets to be number 3. Cue to Zelos saying that to be popular, they don't have to be heroes, which caused Cless getting petrified out of shock. [[TalesOfTheAbyss Jade]] dismisses the poll as unreliable because ''Tales of the Abyss'' was not represented yet, but Arche points out that Luke made 10th, which causes Jade to get petrified out of shock.

** At the start of Apple Gummi, Zelos introduces himself as ''TalesOfSymphonia''[='=]s main character. Jade tells him not to lie about that, and that he has to be accurate. So Zelos concedes and reintroduces himself as a supporting member of the cast... and then Jade [[HypocriticalHumor calls himself]] ''TalesOfTheAbyss''[='=]s "Lead character from the shadows". If that wasn't enough, one of the scene transitions uses Jade's face, and has "Main Character" plastered all over it.

** This exchange between Zelos and Jade when introducing [[TalesoftheAbyss Luke]]

* In Lemon Gummi, there's a lot of them: [[TalesOfEternia Reid]] getting sacked by Jade for [[YouWannaGetSued almost mentioning]] VideoGame/MonsterHunter; [[TalesOfLegendia Senel]]'s mock battle with Zelos; [[TalesOfRebirth Veigue]] repeating his fist fight with Tytree towards Reid; Jade suggesting a 'Raise-A-Luke' game; and finally... the announcement that Veigue is ''not'' in Radiant Mythology 1, causing him to cry '''"CLAAAAAIIIIIIRRREEEE!!!"'''

* Golden Gummi has [[TalesOfVesperia Karol Capel]] fearing that he's trapped in a parody of ''{{Saw}}''. The role of Jigsaw is played by [[TalesOfTheAbyss Tokunaga]].
* [[TalesOfRebirth PEEEACH PIEEEEE!!!!!]]

---> '''Guy''': "You're weak."
---> '''Luke''': "You're a hack."

* In Lemon Gummi, there's a lot of them: [[TalesOfEternia Reid]] getting sacked by Jade for [[YouWannaGetSued almost mentioning]] MonsterHunter; [[TalesOfLegendia Senel]]'s mock battle with Zelos; [[TalesOfRebirth Veigue]] repeating his fist fight with Tytree towards Reid; Jade suggesting a 'Raise-A-Luke' game; and finally... the announcement that Veigue is ''not'' in Radiant Mythology 1, causing him to cry '''"CLAAAAAIIIIIIRRREEEE!!!"'''

* A skit in ''TalesOfSymphonia'' has everyone in your party taking a quiz, basically so the genius Genis can show off his smarts. [[IdiotHero Lloyd]] gets 25 points, then begins acting proud. Colette remarks that it's the best grade he's ever gotten on a test. It then goes on to say that Genis got 397. Turns out the test was out of 400 points, not 100!