History Creator / MitchHedberg

"If you're flammable and have legs, you are never blocking a fire ''exit.''"[[note]]Unless you are a ''table!''[[/note]]

"I'm not addicted to gambling. I'm addicted to sitting in a semi-''circle''."

"If you're flammable and have legs, you are never blocking a fire ''exit.''"\\

* SpiritualSuccessor: His one-liner surreal wordplay has been compared to Creator/StevenWright.

Mitchell Lee Hedberg (February 24, 1968 -- March 30, 2005) was an American stand-up comedian who used a lot of one-liners, like Creator/StevenWright with a more laid back delivery. He was known for his monotone voice and [[CoolShades rose-colored aviator glasses]]. He specialized in wordplay, non-sequiturs, and observational comedy. He made a few appearances on a handful of TV shows and did some voice work for ''WesternAnimation/HomeMovies''.

Hedberg was an admitted drug user, and occasionally made jokes about his drug use in his act. These jokes became HarsherInHindsight when Hedberg died in 2005, supposedly by overdosing on heroin and cocaine. What makes it sadder is that [[WhatCouldHaveBeen this was before doing his first HBO special]]. This makes him the third comedian in a row to die in the middle of a decade in their thirties. Andy Kaufman died of cancer in the 1980s and Bill Hicks died from the same in the 1990s. With the death of Kevin Barnett in 2019 at the age of 32 from pancreatitis, time will only tell if this trend will follow.

Hedberg was an admitted drug user, and occasionally made jokes about his drug use in his act. These jokes became HarsherInHindsight when Hedberg died in 2005, supposedly by overdosing on heroin and cocaine. What makes it sadder is that [[WhatCouldHaveBeen this was before doing his first HBO special]]. This makes him the third comedian in a row to die in the middle of a decade in their thirties. Andy Kaufman died of cancer in the 1980s and Bill Hicks died from the same in the 1990s. Time will only tell if this trend will follow.

* AluminumChristmasTrees: UsefulNotes/McDonalds actually did sell spaghetti briefly in the '80s, though most people probably thought Mitch made that up for his "Stubborn [=McDonald's=] manager" bit. It's still available in the Philippines. The company has never sold blankets.

!!Related Tropes

* ScrewTheRulesIMakeThem: As mentioned above, he took issue with his house being called a "two-bedroom house", because ''he owns the house''. There can be as many or as few bedrooms as he damn well wants. [[UpToEleven Even if one of them is over in that guys house]].

* FourEqualPaymentsOf: "They say this product is available for four easy payments. I'd like to see one with three easy payments and one ''fucking complicated'' payment... We're not telling you which one, but one of these payments is going to be a ''bitch''. The mailman will get shot to death, the envelope will not seal, and the stamp will be in the wrong denomination. Good luck, fucker!"
** "That last payment must be made in Wampum!"

* ClusterFBomb: His sets were often peppered with curse words, even if his material wasn't exactly all that racy. His routines still make sense without all the cursing.

* AnnoyingLaugh: During one performance, Mitch singles out an audience member with a distinctive laugh.
-->"The only problem with having a distinctive laugh is that I know exactly when you're ''not'' laughing. 'Oh! Distinctive Laugh doesn't think that joke was funny!'"

Hedberg was an admitted drug user, and occasionally made jokes about his drug use in his act. These jokes became [[FunnyAneurysmMoment Funny Aneurysm Moments]] when Hedberg died in 2005, supposedly by overdosing on heroin and cocaine. What makes it sadder is that [[WhatCouldHaveBeen this was before doing his first HBO special]]. This makes him the third comedian in a row to die in the middle of a decade in their thirties. Andy Kaufman died of cancer in the 1980s and Bill Hicks died from the same in the 1990s. Time will only tell if this trend will follow.

-->"I went to a Subway sandwich shop, and I said, 'Let me have a bun,' but she wouldn't sell me just a bun. [[ObstructiveCodeOfConduct She said it had to have something on it.]] She told me it's against regulations for Subway to sell just a bun; I guess the two halves ain't supposed to touch. So, I said, 'Alright, put some lettuce on it,' which they did. They said, 'That'll be $1.75.' I said, 'It's for a duck.' They said, 'Alright, well then it's free.' See, I did not know that. ''Ducks eat for free at Subway.'' Had I known that, I would've ordered a much larger sandwich. 'Lemme have the steak fajita sandwich, but don't bother ringing it up, it's for a duck! There are six ducks out there, and they ''all want Sun Chips!'''"

Hedberg was an admitted drug user, and occasionally made jokes about his drug use in his act. These jokes became [[FunnyAneurysmMoment Funny Aneurysm Moments]] when Hedberg [[AuthorExistenceFailure died in 2005]], supposedly by overdosing on heroin and cocaine. What makes it sadder is that [[WhatCouldHaveBeen this was before doing his first HBO special]]. This makes him the third comedian in a row to die in the middle of a decade in their thirties. Andy Kaufman died of cancer in the 1980s and Bill Hicks died from the same in the 1990s. Time will only tell if this trend will follow.

* BeYourself: He has a bit where he expresses annoyance at turkey versions of meat products, i.e. turkey bacon. He says someone should tell the turkeys to just be themselves instead of trying to pretend to be other animals since they already taste good on their own.

I saw a commercial for a piece of technology which said "now you can water your hard-to-reach plants." Now who would make their plants hard to reach? That seems so very mean. I know you need water, but I'm gonna make you hard to reach! I will ''throw'' water at you. Hopefully someone will invent a product before you shrivel and die. Think like a cactus!\\

* ExactlyWhatItSaysOnTheTin: "I'd like to see a forklift lift a crate of forks. It'd be so damn ''literal!'' You are using that for its exact purpose! That machine's been misunderstood for ''years.''"

I bought a two-bedroom house. But it's up to me how many bedrooms there are, ain't it? Fuck you, real-estate lady, this bedroom has an ''oven'' in it! This bedroom has a lot of people sitting around watching TV. This bedroom is a/k/a the hallway... This bedroom's over in that guy's house! Sir, are you aware you have one of my bedrooms? Don't decorate it!\\

* BigDamnFireExit: "I was standing in the lobby of this hotel just minding my own business, and this guy came up to me and said, 'Sir, could you please move? You're blocking the fire exit.' As though if there was a fire, I wasn't going to run. If you are flammable and have legs, you are never 'blocking' a fire exit! [[AnalogyBackfire Unless you're a table]]!"
* BigfootSasquatchAndYeti: Mitch thinks the reason photographs of Bigfoot are always blurry is because Bigfoot IS blurry.

* FantasticRacism: "When it comes to racism, people say 'I don't care if they're black, white, purple, or green!' Ah, come on now! Purple or green? You gotta draw the line somewhere! To hell with purple people! Unless they're suffocating, in which case, ''help 'em!''"

I bought a two-bedroom house. But it's up to me how many bedrooms there are, ain't it? Fuck you, real-estate lady, this bedroom has an ''oven'' in it! This bedroom has a lot of people sitting around watching TV. This bedroom is a/k/a the hallway... This bedroom's over in that guy's house! Sir, are you aware you have one of my bedrooms? Don't decorate it!

* OneSteveLimit / PsmithPsyndrome: Averted. Mitch Hedberg had two separate relationships with a girl named Lynn. Well, technically, one Lyn and one Lynn.

* ScrewTheRulesIMakeThem: It was up to Mitch how many bedrooms his house actually had, even if one of them was in that guy's house.[[note]]Don't decorate it![[/note]]

* AcCENTUponTheWrongSylLABle: Was sometimes guilty of a variant-- he would stress the wrong word in a given sentence (usually the final word), for no apparent reason other than his quirkiness. It was just the way he talked.

* BigDamnFireExit: "I was standing in the lobby of this hotel just minding my own business, and this guy came up to me and said, 'Sir, could you please move? You're blocking the fire exit.' As though if there was a fire, I wasn't going to run. If you are flammable and have legs, you are never 'blocking' a fire exit! Unless you're a table!"

* AnachronisticSoundtrack: There's a jazz bassist playing all throughout ''Strategic Grill Locations,'' giving the album the vibe of a coffee house from decades ago.

Mitchell Lee Hedberg (February 24, 1968 -- March 30, 2005) was an American stand-up comedian who used a lot of one-liners, like Creator/StevenWright with a more laid back delivery. He was known for his monotone voice and [[CoolShades rose-colored aviator glasses]]. He specialized in wordplay, non sequiturs and observational comedy. He made a few appearances on a handful of TV shows and did some voice work for ''WesternAnimation/HomeMovies''.

** He and some friends were dropping acid in the woods to avoid the cops, but ran into a bear, "[[{{Understatement}} which was even more of a buzzkill]]." A friend remarked "Smokey is ''way'' more intense in person."

* BeYourself: He has a bit where he expresses annoyance at turkey versions of meat products, i.e. turkey bacon. He says someone should tell the turkeys to just be themselves instead of trying to pretend to be other animals, since they already taste good on their own.

** The audience at his Comedy Central Presents special seem to have been primarily made up of people that were unfamiliar with Mitch's act. Because of this, it took a while for the audience to warm up to him and laugh in understanding of his material. By the end, the crowd was more engaged, so Mitch continued to tell jokes for editing reasons just thinking of whatever jokes came to mind.

* {{Dissimile}}: "With a stop light, green means 'Go' and yellow means 'Slow down'. With a banana, however, it is quite the opposite. Yellow means 'Go', green means 'Whoa, hold on'... and red means 'Where the fuck did you get that banana from?!'"